Chapter 16
CARA
I fiddle with the coffee cup as I look to the door, trying my best to put the idea out of my mind. I shouldn’t even be considering it, really, but I can’t let go.
I’m stuck here, just like I was with my parents.
And this time, I’m inflicting it on my daughter, too. That’s the part that I can’t stand.
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to push the idea out of my head. It’s not the same. Alexei is doing all of this to protect me, to protect all of us. He isn’t just locking be up in here for no reason.
But then, I’m sure my parents would have said the same.
The only question is… Was the danger that Alexei knew of actually real? Or, like my parents, was it all in his paranoid imagination?
I know at least some of it comes from a real place, with the warehouse fire and everything, but there’s no way of telling for sure that everything else fits together exactly as it should.
He might be overestimating this, closing the walls around us for no solid reason, even if he believes he’s doing the right thing.
I haven’t seen him since the night he came for dinner with us, and that is bothering me too. Because... well, where the hell is he?
He snuck out of bed early that morning without me knowing.
He hadn’t even woken me up to let me know he was leaving, he had just taken off as though it was nothing.
And I can’t believe we could share everything we did that night, and have it mean nothing.
Not with the way he kissed me, and the way he held me against his chest all night long as if I were the only thing that soothed him.
I get that he has business to take care of, but doesn’t that count for anything?
And all this time to myself has left me stuck on the idea that I shoudn’t be handing over my freedom quite so easily to this man.
I’m an independent woman, aren’t I? And I wanted to raise my daughter the same way.
What kind of message am I sending to her by letting him close the walls in on me so easily, handing over my freedom—our freedom—as though it hardly mattered?
I have to do something to prove myself. I have to find a way out of here, even just for a little while.
And it is that thought that leads me to straighten up from the breakfast bar and head towards the door.
I glance behind me to make sure the kids are still engrossed in their show, and they are.
They’re eating breakfast, and I figure now is a good time to talk to Alexei and ask him if I can take them out.
Even just into another part of the house, somewhere they could read and play together that wouldn’t just be the same living space we shared day in and day out.
I know that he has a wing of his own in this house, it’s where Max goes to sleep every night—wouldn’t he be willing to give that up to them for an afternoon? Kids aren’t meant to live in the same place like that all the time, they needed to get out into the world...
I open the door and find eyes on me at once—a few guards on the door, and a couple passing through the main entry hall.
I glance between them, trying to figure out my chances here if I just stride on through and try to go to Alexei’s quarters.
I get the feeling they will pounce on me before I get a chance, and I should probably at least allow them the opportunity to talk to me first.
“Good morning!” I chirp brightly, smiling as I make my way into the entry hall. If I act normal, then maybe I can just slip through.
But one of them steps out in front of me, stopping me in my tracks before I can go any further. “What’s going on?”
“I need to speak with Alexei,” I reply, and I try to cast my mind back to what I heard Marsha call him before. “The Pakhan, I need to speak with the Pakhan.”
I plant my hands on my hips and look at him expectantly. I’m not sure what else I need to say, to be honest. But he looks to one of the men beside him and furrows his brow, clearly not entirely convinced by my performance.
“Okay, well—”
Suddenly, behind us, I hear a noise. Whipping around, I see two little faces peeping out from behind the door, and my heart drops.
“Nina, Max, what are you doing out here!” I exclaim, rushing back over towards them and trying to usher them back down the corridor.
“I went to the kitchen to find you and you were gone—”
“Alexei said nothing about you seeing him today,” the guard replies in a monotone voice, as he makes his way towards us. I look over my shoulder at him, standing between him and the kids. There’s the bulge of a gun on his side, and I don’t want either of them to see it.
“Well, can you just tell him that I need to talk to him?”
“What about?”
“It’s none of your business,” I spit back.
“The Pakhan will not see you unless you tell us what the problem is.”
“There’s no problem,” I reply, trying to keep my voice as steady as I can. I can already sense Nina starting to tense up beside me, and the last thing I want is for her nerves to get the best of her. “I was just hoping that I could talk to him about the kids.”
I look to the guard once more with an imploring expression, hoping that he’ll finally see where I’m coming from with this.
And, when our eyes lock, for a second, I’m filled with hope that he actually understands.
But then, before I can say another word, a huge crash comes from the front of the house, and everyone spins around to see what is going on.
My knees almost crumple out from under me when I see what has happened. The front door has been blown off its hinges, and men are flooding into the house. I feel faint, and I have to hold onto the door to keep from collapsing, trying my best to keep myself positioned in front of the kids.
This can’t be happening, it can’t be, it must be some twisted figment of my imagination.
The smell of smoke fills the air, and the sound of yelling brings me back down to earth. I snap into action, dropping to my knees in front of the children and turning to them.
“You have to get out,” I insist. But both the children are frozen before me, too terrified to move an inch. I grab their shoulders, trying to bring them back into the moment, trying to get them to listen to me, but it seems like they can’t even hear me over the chaos that is breaking out around us.
Suddenly, I feel someone grab me by the shoulder–I spin around just as another shot rings out, and a man slams into the wall, blood spraying on to the sculpture beside him. I let out a cry, but I hardly have time to take it in before the man before me shoves me aside.
“No!” I yell out, and I drop to my knees, scrambling back towards the children – I reach for Max, who’s closer to me, and manage to wrap my arms around him, drawing him against my chest.
“Give him to me!”
I look around to see Ilya standing there, his face written with deadly seriousness, holding his hands out towards me.
I realize that I don’t have much of a choice; there’s nothing I can do here but rely on the men around us and hope that they will be able to do enough to keep these kids safe.
I shove Max towards him, and Max reaches out for him and grabs for him, pulling him into his arms and lifting him to his chest.
But the man who is advancing on us is closing the distance on Nina now, and I throw myself out in front of her, doing everything I can to keep him from getting there.
His eyes are near-black with fury, and I wonder, briefly, what the people who sent him here must have told him to convince him to be so heinous.
“Please,” I beg him, as I wind my arms around Nina, clutching her to me like I did when she was a baby—she feels so small in my arms, so delicate and breakable, and a sob tearing at my throat as I try to reason with him.
“Hand her over,” he tells me coldly, as he lifts his gun, pointing it at me. I look around, searching for something, anything that might pull me out of this mess, but there’s nothing I can do, nobody I can rely on, nothing but the sheer hope that I might be able to somehow save her from this.
“If you’re taking her, you’re taking me,” I fire back, drawing my shoulders up to look as intimidating as I can even as I stare down the barrel of his gun.
The weapon stares back at me with a cold, unyielding gaze, and my mind swims with panic again.
I’ve never been this close to a loaded gun before, and I can’t wrap my head around how much danger I must be in right now.
There’s nothing I can do to escape, not without him pulling the trigger and ending me right then and there.
If that’s what I’ve to do to protect my daughter, then I will, but I don’t want her to be scarred with the agony of watching her mother die in front of her.
But the man narrows his eyes, stoops down, and drags me upward.
“Fine,” he mutters. “You’re both coming with me.”
I struggle in his grip, still holding Nina, but I can feel the gun pressing into me, a warning of what will happen if he decides he doesn’t want to bother with me after all. I don’t know where he plans on taking me, but I know it’s nowhere good.
I look around again, and find Alexei rushing towards us, gun drawn.
“Alexei, stay back!” I plead with him, not wanting him to get hurt. The man spins around to point the gun at him, pulling Nina and I in front of him so Alexei can’t get a shot off without risking hitting us in the process.
“You should listen to her, Pakhan,” the man warns him, but he spits the word with venom.
Alexei’s face darkens, and I think of pushing Nina towards him—telling her to run, to get as far from here as she can while she’s still able. But I know if I even try something like that, it could mean the end for all of us.
I swallow hard, my blood pumping around my head, eyes darting this way and that as I search for some way out of this mess. But there is nothing.
The men who attacked, the ones who survived, are retreating towards the door now, and the guards are closing in a semi-circle around Alexei, waiting for his command. Ilya still has Max, thank God.
“Raise that gun at me, and I’ll put both of them down,” the man warns him, no hint in his voice that he might be bluffing. He’s come here with every intention of getting what he believes he needs, and if that happens to come in the form of my daughter and I, so be it.
“Alexei,” I whisper, though I know he can’t do anything.
His eyes meet mine, dark and defeated.
The man wraps his arm around me, using the other to grab Nina, who clings on to me for dear life.
I hold her close, whispering to her that everything is going to be okay, though I’m not sure I believe a word that’s coming out of my mouth right now.
She looks up at me with those big eyes that have always trusted me—that face that has never had a reason to doubt me.
And, as I gaze down at her, I whisper all that I can think of to say.
I’m sorry.
And before I can get out another word, the man is dragging me away again, forcing me out of the door and towards a car that is waiting outside.
The gate has been torn open, and Alexei and his men stream out to try and block their exit.
However, Nina and I are tossed into the back before they can get close.
The man starts the engine and drives us away. I pull Nina tight to me once more, hardly even thinking to buckle us up and try to stay safe. What the hell is the point of that, when the worst has already happened, when I’ve already left my daughter with so little to rely on...?
I squeeze my eyes shut as the wheels rumble beneath us, the engine screaming as we hit the road and pull away from the house. There’s nothing I can do right now but pray that we will make it through.
I swear silently to my daughter that I’ll do anything I can to protect us both.
Even if that means giving up my life in the process.