Chapter 10
ten
IVY
“I’ll get it done tomorrow.” Ivy winced even as she said that. She’d said that more times than she could count in the last two months. And did she always get everything done tomorrow? Nope. Not at all. But she was always within a few days. Though with the look on Abagail’s face, she could tell that it wasn’t what Abagail wanted to hear.
“I need it done first thing,” Abagail answered. “ My clients are waiting on it.”
The emphasis on my was the exact reminder that Abagail meant to give her. This wasn’t Ivy’s company. She couldn’t run it like she wanted to. She couldn’t force herself to be in charge because she would never be in charge. She’d taken a step down from owning her own company to working for someone else.
Why?
To try and protect her friends and her family. And right now it looked like that would all be for nothing in the end, wouldn’t it? Ivy sighed. She ran her fingers through her hair and nodded. “I’ll come in early and take care of it.”
“Hmm.” That sound was the we’ll see, but I don’t actually believe you response that Ivy was getting so used to hearing.
When had she become such a shitty employee? She was a hardworking single mother, and yet somehow, she’d become the worst employee of the year. She was honestly surprised that Abagail hadn’t tried to fire her, lay her off, or make her quit yet. But she was still here, months later, in a job that she was pretty sure hated her as much as she loathed it.
Not the work.
Ivy loved the actual work that she did.
It was the concept that she wasn’t working for herself, that she didn’t own her own business, and that she’d given up even more of her dreams because her ex-wife couldn’t just let her go and divorce her cleanly.
“Right. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” Ivy awkwardly left Abagail’s office. She sat down heavily in her chair instead of packing up her things to go home. Tears brimmed on the edges of her eyes, and she had no idea what to do or say or where to go next.
She was tired of being the negative one—the one that brought everyone around her down. It was exhausting, but so easy to get caught up in that cycle. She brushed her fingers over her lips, remembering the way that Greer had pressed up against her, the play of Greer’s lips against hers. It had been a simple, heated kiss, which had been broken up by a six-year-old who had insisted on coming downstairs to get some water for his mother.
Yet for the life of her, Ivy couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss. It had felt amazing. Not just the kiss itself, but to actually be wanted by someone, to be seen as desirable. Ivy’s lips turned upward at that thought, and she finally had the courage to pack up her things and head out of the office.
The drive home took her close to an hour. She hated the long commute, but it was what she’d needed in order to protect everyone around her from the bad mistakes that were made. Mistakes that only she had made.
Her house was empty and quiet. And that eerie feeling never settled in her chest well. But she decided she had to force herself through it—again. Because what other choice did she have? Ivy dropped her purse onto the kitchen counter and immediately pulled out the bottle of rum from the refrigerator and poured herself a heavy-handed drink.
She’d also been doing a lot of that lately—which she wasn’t a fan of.
God, who had she become?
Even if Penny didn’t manage to take everything from her, Ivy had become someone she despised through the divorce, someone unrecognizable from who she used to be, someone she really didn’t want to continue being. Sipping her drink, Ivy walked into the living room and stopped short.
Greer was outside, in front of Nathalie’s house, and she was playing with the twins and Alaric. Closing her eyes, Ivy could hear the laughter echo through to her, the joy they had in simply being exactly who they were created to be. And as soon as that thought hit her, the pang of envy she now knew to expect followed.
Ivy took another sip of her drink.
Could she even go back to being who she was before?
Did she want to?
Because that person had married Penny. That person had taken their sweet time to file for divorce and leave her abusive ass. That person didn’t make good decisions. But fuck, what would a bad decision be right now? One that Ivy definitely wanted to make.
Going back to the kitchen, she set the glass and drink onto the counter and snagged her warmer jacket from the door next to the garage. Sliding her arms through the sleeves, Ivy buttoned it up. She needed people time. People who wouldn’t hurt her, people who wouldn’t judge her. She needed to not be alone because she just couldn’t stand the empty house any longer.
The air outside was wet and cold, and the ground was soggy under her feet as she walked through the grass. She really should have changed out of her heels before she decided to do this. But again, stupid decisions were exactly what she wanted right now.
Davina saw her first, and raced toward her, arms open and a grin on her lips. “Ivy! Ivy! Ivy!”
Laughing, Ivy bent down and wrapped her arms around Davina’s little body and pulled her into a tight hug. Fuck, she missed this. The simplicity of being a kid, of seeing love and of being loved by all those who mattered around her. She kissed Davina’s cheek and immediately put her down to pick up Halle. The twins were far from identical, but they did move in similar ways as they wobbled to and fro and tried to run faster than Alaric, who had gangly legs and three years on them.
But he was such a good big brother to them, even if he wasn’t biologically related. He would make a wonderful big brother to Nathalie’s newest—assuming this baby stuck, and she was able to carry to term. Ivy’s heart nearly broke at that thought. Nathalie just wanted one more baby to add to her little family, and she had tried so hard over the years.
“Hey, Ivy,” Greer said, interrupting Ivy’s thoughts.
“Hey,” Ivy said, her lips curling up into a smile. Just looking at Greer now brought back a flood of kisses and touches, the way Greer hadn’t hesitated as she slid her hand down, palming Ivy’s breast and teasing her nipple. On reflex, Ivy’s nipples hardened as if Greer had touched her again.
“How was work?” Greer asked.
Ivy groaned and then rolled her eyes. “I’m pretty convinced that Abagail hates me.”
“I know Abagail,” Greer shot Ivy a grin. “She’s my best friend’s partner’s best friend—I guess that practically makes us in-laws in this weird little queer story—but I’m also pretty convinced that Abagail doesn’t like anyone except Elia Sharpe.”
“Her best friend?” Ivy asked, raising an eyebrow as she crossed her arms over her chest and tightened her hold.
“Oh yeah,” Greer said with a laugh. “I’ve never seen Abagail warm up to anyone other than Elia.”
“Well, that’s good to know, I guess.” Ivy turned her body, moving as close to Greer as she possibly could. She didn’t know what to say now. She’d had no real purpose in coming out here except that she needed company. She needed someone to treat her like she wasn’t a pariah.
“Is she riding you at work or something?”
“Or something,” Ivy mumbled. “Then again, Penny seems to interrupt my work at least once a day with something . Today was trying to get hold of another psychologist and social worker to do yet another evaluation on the kids and our families. She’s the one insisting on having a third evaluation done, and yet I’m the one who has to call and find someone.”
“Why?” Greer frowned slightly as she watched the kids play together.
“Because if I don’t, then it’ll take another year for her to find someone. And I don’t want to wait another year being married to her.” Ivy said those words so easily, like she truly meant them. And it was the first time that perhaps she did. That she was ready to leave behind all the drama, in full, and move on with her life and become someone she didn’t hate.
“Understandable,” Greer answered. “I get what it’s like to be around narcissists. Both my parents would fall into that category.”
“Is that why you never talk about them?” Ivy looked at her directly, standing so close to her. She dropped her gaze to Greer’s lips, remembering the way they slid across her body, down her neck, over the tops of her breasts before they moved right back up to her mouth.
Or had that only been her imagination and not reality? Had that been pure desire coming to bite her—desire she hadn’t felt since Leon was born?
“I didn’t realize it was that obvious.”
“You talk about Kam as your family, and that’s pretty much it. You talk about others, friends—Andra, Lauren—but you don’t talk about them the same way you do Kam.”
“Kam’s my best friend.” Greer grinned brightly, her smile a ray of sunshine in Ivy’s doom-and-gloom world. “But yes, that’s why I don’t talk about them. I haven’t talked to them in ten years now.”
“Oh, wow. I can’t imagine any of the kids not being in my life.”
“Well, you’re not a narcissist from what I’ve seen, so your chances are much better than my parents’ that your kids won’t abandon you.” Greer bumped their shoulders together. “Penny on the other hand…”
“Penny what?”
“I’m willing to bet that as the kids get older, they’ll start to put some distance between her and them, when they can actually make that choice. I don’t think they like her very much right now either.”
Ivy said nothing to that. She wasn’t even sure she had an opinion on it. She hadn’t been able to think beyond today and tomorrow to what the next few years might look like. Or the fact that in twenty years, she would still be dealing with Penny at things like college graduations and weddings and babies if she was ever to become a grandparent.
Sighing, Ivy glanced toward the twins and Alaric. “I don’t want to think about that.”
“I get it,” Greer answered. “Did you need something? Is that why you came out here?”
“Oh I…” Ivy froze. She hadn’t actually expected that question. Why was she talking to Greer instead of over at Nathalie’s bugging her or talking to Lachlan? Why was it that she wanted to be in Greer’s presence instead of theirs right this very moment? “I just wanted to get some fresh air.”
“All right.” Greer grinned at her and slid a hand down her arm. “I have to get the kids inside. It’s nearly time for Baylor to pick the girls up, and Nathalie should be home by now.”
“I should let you work…” Ivy trailed off, still not sure what to say. Her feet were freezing in her heels which had sunk into the wet grass, and she really should get out of her work clothes for the day, maybe take a shower and clear her head. Everything was just so damn jumbled right now.
“I’ll see you soon. I promise, okay?” Greer touched Ivy’s elbow and squeezed lightly.
“Okay.” Ivy looked directly into Greer’s dark brown eyes, to the compassion and hope held in them. What the hell was she doing? Falling for the nanny? Or was this purely about the fact that someone was finally paying attention to her, someone who she paid to pay attention to her? Ivy shuddered at that thought.
“Kids! Let’s head inside and get cleaned up for dinner. Okay?” Greer clapped her hands to get their attention and she walked away from Ivy.
Without having anything else to do out there, Ivy wrapped her jacket a little tighter around her and then started back toward her house. What was she thinking? Really. It would be ridiculous for her to have sex with Greer, to even contemplate that happening. Wouldn’t it? Because Greer was an adult, absolutely an adult, with delicious curves that Ivy wanted to explore, full lips that seemed to never frown but always be in a smile.
Ivy shivered just at the thought. Fuck, she needed a cold shower, not a hot shower. In silence, she walked back into her house and shut the door behind her. She snagged the drink she’d made off the kitchen counter, left her shoes right in the middle of the floor, and walked straight to the living room where she’d heard the kids playing before.
She sat down on the couch and tried to relax, but her entire body was on edge. She couldn’t stop thinking—and adding to—everything that Greer had done to her the other week. She couldn’t stop thinking about the touches of Greer’s fingers against her skin, the trails of hair as Greer moved across her body, the way Greer pressed her down into the couch cushion with her full weight like she wanted Ivy there, like she needed to keep Ivy in place.
“Oh fuck it.” Ivy set the drink onto the coffee table and pulled up her skirt. She was alone in her damn house. And it was her fucking house. Penny had never lived here, never tainted a single inch of it. And Ivy deserved to be touched in every way she wanted to be touched.
Moving her pencil skirt up to her waist, Ivy pressed the ball of her toe into the edge of the coffee table and spread her knees. She hadn’t touched herself in so long. Would she even remember how to do it? Would she come alive again under her own fingers?
Ivy brushed the pads of her fingers across her clit and through her damp underwear. When had that happened? Was it just thinking about Greer while they were outside? Was it the imaginations added to the touches Greer had already given her?
Biting her lip, Ivy lifted her butt, pulled her thong off, and dropped it to the floor. This would be so much better without it. She could move more freely. She’d be able to touch without fighting clothing. And she could dream up ways that Greer would continue their little foray into the sexual on the couch. Ivy slid one finger through her swollen, wet folds. She was practically dripping. Her heart raced as she reached her clit and gave it a little flick. Just to test and make sure that she wasn’t dead inside like Penny had accused her of being so many times. So many that Ivy was tempted to actually believe it.
“Fuck…” Ivy moaned. If just that smallest touch got her going like that, what the hell would fingers inside her do? Or a mouth against her? Greer’s mouth. And if Greer kissed her nether lips just like she kissed her mouth, then Ivy would be doomed for great heights of pleasure.
Ivy held back a moan, sliding two and then three fingers through her sopping wet pussy. Oh what would it be like? To have Greer with her right now? To have the warmth of her body, the heat of her smile, the intensity of her looks? Could Ivy come just from that thought alone if she allowed herself, if she focused on it?
Gasping, Ivy slid two fingers inside herself and then held them there. She brushed her thumb across her damp clit and groaned as pleasure came through her in wave after wave. Her ears buzzed with hope, with a taste of orgasm that she had begun to long for again.
She pulsed her fingers. She pressed her thumb into her clit and moved it in a tight little circle. Her hips raised upward as she tossed her head back, and she started to ride her hand. Ivy gasped. She moaned. She cried out as pleasure continued to course through her and find its way into every crevice that she’d long thought dead and buried.
She was breathing hard, her chest tight with that pleasure, when her eyes flew open at the sound of the front door. But she didn’t have time to move or to cover herself up. Ivy grunted as soon as Greer stepped around the edge of the front entryway and spied her, spread open, fingers deep inside herself, and her cheeks pink not just with arousal but embarrassment.
“Ivy, I thought…” Greer trailed off as her gaze took in everything that was happening. She froze on the spot, and so did Ivy, unsure of what to do next.
She stayed right where she was, her heart in her throat and unable to formulate any other words. Greer’s cheeks hollowed before she held her hand up and stepped back toward the front door.
She was leaving.
Ivy had fucked all of this up, and she was going to be gone in a second and she was going to tell Nathalie and Lachlan, and the whole of the world they’d built up would be gone in an instant.
Except the door didn’t open and close. And Greer stepped back around the corner, pulling her jacket off and tossing it onto the chair. Her gaze didn’t leave Ivy’s as she rolled her sleeves up and then looked down, directly between Ivy’s legs.
“Don’t stop on my account,” Greer said. “I love to watch a woman pleasure herself.”
“Oh God…” Ivy bit her lip. “Are you serious?”
“Dead serious, as a doorknob—which is now locked, by the way. We don’t need any more intruders, do we?”
“Fuck.” Ivy had never been so turned on in her life. She stared at Greer, her jaw slack, and her heart racing. “W-what do you want me to do?”
“Fuck yourself.” Greer raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m going to go wash my hands—that is if you’d like me to join you.”
“Yessssss,” Ivy hissed out.
“All right.” Greer took her shoes off and left them by the door. “Don’t make yourself come until I get back.”
What the hell had she gotten herself into?