Chapter 24
twenty-four
NATHALIE
Lachlan walked into Nathalie’s room at the hospital and immediately put on her cross face and pursed her lips as she stared Nathalie down.
“What did I do now?” Nathalie asked, her stomach sinking. She hadn’t seen anyone in twenty-four hours nearly, and she hadn’t talked to anyone—not really—so what could she have done to piss someone off?
“Well, at least you’re on the defensive. That’s one thing going for you right now.” Lachlan didn’t bother with the visitor chair. She sat on the edge of the bed. “First, how are you?”
Nathalie groaned, not likely that Lachlan was avoiding the question, but she should have figured that check-ins would come first. “Ready to be out of here.”
“You were ready not to come in the first place. I see they’ve still got you hooked up to fluids.”
Nathalie frowned and lifted her arm. “They are keeping the nausea at bay, so that’s a bonus.”
“You do look perkier.” Lachlan grinned brightly at her own joke. “And the baby?”
“Fine so far.” Nathalie moved her hand over her belly protectively. It wouldn’t be long now until she could feel the baby moving inside her and then it would feel more real. Wouldn’t it? Except the last time she’d lost a baby, she’d been six months. They’d tried everything to keep her pregnant that time, and she’d sworn it was the last. So when she’d approached Lachlan six months ago saying she wanted to try one more time, they both went into this cautiously. “It’s hard to believe I’m out of the first trimester.”
Lachlan raised her eyebrows at her. “And… does it feel like this one is sticking?”
“No.” Nathalie shook her head. “It doesn’t.” Just that thought alone could bring her to tears, but she held them back. Tears wouldn’t do her any good right now. “How’s Alaric?”
“He’s good. It took him awhile to calm down last night, but Ivy lay with him until he fell asleep.” Lachlan’s cheeks turned a beautiful rosy color. It made her look more full of life. “Greer took him to school today, but he really didn’t want to go.”
“I’ll ask her to bring him by when he’s out of school.” Nathalie frowned and glanced at the clock. “Which, aren’t you supposed to be at the practice?”
“Yes, but I pushed back my first few appointments to see you this morning. You’re more important than work, and people are starting to ask questions about why you’re out.”
Nathalie groaned. She hated when people pried into her personal life. She wanted to keep as much of herself private as possible, especially when it came to work. “Are you telling them it’s the flu?”
“Well, you did have the flu.” Lachlan patted Nathalie’s leg through the blanket. “Which is probably what put you in the situation you’re in now.”
Nathalie agreed with her, but she didn’t want to say that out loud. She didn’t need anyone else to say I told you so when this situation was coming up. Maybe in ten years they could talk about it, but not now. Not when it was so close and she was still handcuffed to this bed by her IV. Nathalie grabbed Lachlan’s hand and gave her a light squeeze before letting go.
“What did I do this time?” Nathalie asked.
Lachlan cocked her head to the side, her lips quirking upward. “Greer.”
Nathalie sighed heavily. Greer seemed to be all they wanted to talk about lately, and it was starting to grate on her nerves. There was more to life than the pretty nanny they’d hired to watch their kids. Nathalie leaned into the pillow and prepared herself for the scolding that was to come.
“But we’ll get to Greer in a minute, because without her, you wouldn’t be here and that’s what we really need to talk about.”
“What?” Nathalie frowned, trying to keep up with the twenty directions that Lachlan was taking.
“You in the hospital again. We can’t go through this, Nathalie. We need you. You center us and hold us together, and when you’re out of commission…” Lachlan stopped, and she swallowed. That rosy color vanished and was replaced with a pale sort of fear that Nathalie hated seeing on her friend. “When you’re out of commission, it throws everyone for a loop. And Alaric—he’s so worried that you’re going to die, Nathalie. You can’t do this to him again.”
“I told you this was the last time I was going to try.”
“I’m not just talking about being pregnant!” Lachlan’s voice rose sharply. “I’m talking about not taking care of yourself. About pushing your body to the brink of breaking because you won’t listen to someone—namely Greer. When she says enough is enough it’s time for the big guns. Come on, Nathalie, you’re not stupid. So stop acting like you are. Stop acting like you’re the only one who cares about you.”
Nathalie’s heart skipped a beat. “I-I didn’t realize I was doing that.”
“You are. What you do or don’t do affects us. Don’t you get that? It’s not just about covering your patients at the practice, it’s about home. It’s about our little family that we’ve created between you, me, and Ivy, and the fact that our kids are growing up together. But that means you have to be there to witness it. You need to be around to watch Alaric grow up and graduate and fall in love and get his heart broken. I’m sick and tired of you thinking that you can do this all on your own.”
Lachlan’s nostrils flared in her anger. Nathalie was so taken aback. She honestly couldn’t remember the last time that Lachlan had spoken to her like this—if it had ever happened. Her heart was racing, and she reached for Lachlan’s hand, curling her fingers around Lachlan’s palm and holding tightly onto her.
“I’m so sorry.”
“You better be,” Lachlan added, huffing a breath. “Because I can’t keep doing this with you. I can’t keep going in circles and thinking that you’re with us one minute and then you’re not the next. It hurts too damn much.”
“Lachlan…” Nathalie’s lips parted, but she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. “This really means a lot to you.”
“ You mean a lot to me.”
“We’ve known each other a long time,” Nathalie said, squeezing Lachlan’s hand again and then pulling back, but Lachlan reached in and snagged her hand back.
Lachlan stared down at their joined hands, rubbing her lips together. The silence was so loud. Nathalie wasn’t sure that she’d ever heard it quite this loud before, but everything was overloading her senses while she waited for Lachlan to say what she so clearly wanted to say.
“Lachlan, what is it?” Nathalie asked, keeping her tone soft. “Because I’m not going to die.”
“No, you’re not.” Lachlan’s lips turned up at that. “At least not right now. Eventually we’ll all die, and I would be sad if you did without knowing…”
Nathalie waited for Lachlan to finish that thought, but she didn’t. Leaning forward, Nathalie tilted Lachlan’s chin up so that their eyes could meet. In those browns, Nathalie saw everything she hadn’t wanted to see before, and it pained her. It wasn’t just the fact that Nathalie was so sick, but it was all the pain that came with watching her go through this time and time again, the more she tried and the more she failed.
“I’m so sorry I tried one more time.”
“I’m not,” Lachlan smiled at her. “Right now, you’ve got a baby growing in you, and that’s exactly what we wanted, wasn’t it? It’s what we worked so hard for.”
Nathalie nodded. “Yeah, we did. Fucking needles.”
Lachlan snorted a laugh, her eyes teary as she looked back down at their joined hands. Lachlan had been there with her every step of the way, jabbing her with the needles when she really didn’t want them, keeping her on a schedule with the injections so they could pull her eggs, everything so that she might have a chance at having the family she wanted—Alaric and at least one other baby.
Nathalie had never truly appreciated how much Lachlan had done for her before now, not with that. And with everything else, with watching Alaric when she was throwing up and so sick from the medications and from the pregnancies that ended in miscarriage, in taking over her load at work to cover her ass when she needed to.
“I’ve been a shit friend,” Nathalie said, frowning. “I’m so sorry about that.”
“Is that three apologies in less than an hour? Who are you and what have you done with my Nathalie?”
God, she loved the way Lachlan said that. My Nathalie . Like she had some sort of ownership over who Nathalie was and who she was becoming. And Nathalie wanted her to have that access, wanted her to have a role in her life that no one else did. She’d always wanted that, and she’d always pushed for their friendship to persevere no matter what they went through in life.
“I love when you say that,” Nathalie murmured, leaning back into the pillows and closing her eyes. This felt good. It felt right and wholesome in ways she had been missing lately.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Nathalie responded.
“No, Nathalie.” Lachlan’s voice was so soft but also so commanding. Nathalie opened her eyes and looked directly at her best friend, confused. “I think I’m in love with you.”
“Oh.” Nathalie breathed the word out, her heart hammering. Her cheeks heated and she shifted to sit up even more in the bed so she could give Lachlan her full attention. She shook her head, still confused. “But Greer?—”
“We’re not talking about Greer right now, remember?” Lachlan raised an eyebrow at her and squeezed her fingers as if to make a point. “We’re talking about you and me, or rather me in relation to you.” Lachlan winced. “This isn’t exactly how I wanted to tell you.”
“You wanted to tell me?” Nathalie’s brows drew together. “Why?”
“Because I’m tired of keeping it to myself, and because you need to know that there are people in this world who love you.” Lachlan shifted on the bed, no doubt uncomfortable with the conversation and the fact that Nathalie hadn’t said anything reciprocating the feelings. But she really didn’t know what to say now. Because she loved Lachlan, like a friend. But she’d never thought about or explored if it could be more than that.
They’d always had a close friendship, and sometimes when they were in medical school people would question, or ask them if they were in a relationship, but when Lachlan had met Baylor, that had pretty much ended any of those discussions.
“When did you realize you weren’t straight?” Nathalie asked, starting there. Not that she really needed the full story, but she was curious, and it was a place to start without talking about her own feelings.
“I think I’ve always known, but you know how religious my parents are. It was never an option when I was younger.”
Nathalie hummed her understanding. In the apartment they’d shared, it had been quite a shock for Lachlan living with Nathalie. It was partly why when they were both working and could afford it, they chose not to live together, even if they always lived near each other.
“I think I figured it out after the twins were born, like good and truly admitted it to myself then.” Lachlan’s cheeks flushed. “And being with Greer helped solidify those understandings.”
“But you don’t love her?”
Lachlan shook her head again. “We’re not talking about Greer, remember?”
“You’re the one who brought her up.”
“Context, Nathalie. Context.”
Nathalie huffed, but she conceded. There was something about Greer that had captivated all of them. She wouldn’t lie to herself anymore and say that she wasn’t also attracted to Greer, but she still wasn’t ready to break down the boundary she’d put in place between them.
“I’m not sure what to do with this,” Nathalie confessed, her voice wobbling. “You’re my best friend, both you and Ivy.”
Lachlan’s cheeks pinked again. “Yeah, we are. But I’m not sure that this has to change anything really. It might make some things more intense for a while, but I think ultimately, it’ll all work itself out.”
“You have way more confidence in that than I do.”
“Do you trust me?” Lachlan asked.
Nathalie answered without hesitating. “Yes. Always.”
“Then trust me.” Lachlan moved in swiftly, pulling Nathalie to her and pressing their lips together.
The kiss wasn’t deep. It wasn’t erotic. Lachlan wasn’t meaning to make a sexual point with this. Nathalie parted her lips, her heart beating wildly, and she held the back of Lachlan’s head and kept her mouth in place as they breathed the same air for a few seconds.
“Lachlan…” Nathalie really needed to figure out how to say words again, because every thought she’d had just went right out the window. She didn’t stop herself as she leaned back in and kissed Lachlan, this time with a little more enthusiasm than before. She dashed her tongue out to meet Lachlan’s quickly before pulling back and smiling. “You should get to work. We have patients waiting.”
“Yeah, we do.” Lachlan grinned, her entire face lighting up. “We’ll talk more when you’re home, okay? When you’ve had some time to process. I know it takes you a while to do that.”
Nathalie chuckled, but her lips curled upward in response. “Sounds like a good plan, Dr. Norris.”
Lachlan shot her a sharp look. “I wouldn’t go calling me that now. It could lead to dangerous problems when you start to date patients. Don’t you know that?”
“Date? I didn’t realize you were that serious, Dr. Norris. I thought you just wanted me to bend over your knee for a shot in my ass.”
Lachlan barked out a laugh. “Next time I have to give you a shot in your ass, you better be thinking that same thing.”
“Oh God, get to work, Lachlan. I’ll be home soon. I promise.”
“And you don’t break promises.”
“No, I don’t.”