Chapter 27
twenty-seven
GREER
“I’d like to talk to you, if you have a minute.” Nathalie sat down at the kitchen table and looked Greer over.
Greer’s stomach sank. How many of these talks were they supposed to have? Because she was getting really tired of them. Perhaps this was Nathalie’s way of trying to remedy the problems that she’d caused with her bullying, but Greer wasn’t sure that she was ready to hear any of it. Not yet at least. She was still struggling to keep herself from hiding away in her room after everything.
“Sure.” Greer finished with the dishes from the lunch she’d made and sat down next to Nathalie. It was one of the very rare times that Baylor had the twins and Penny had the boys and Alaric was at a birthday party…which meant it was just the two of them in the house, alone, and Greer had nowhere to escape to.
“I’m going back to work tomorrow, light duty for this first week to make sure that my body behaves.”
“Okay.” Greer wasn’t exactly sure why Nathalie was telling her this. It wasn’t information she hadn’t figured out already, even though Nathalie hadn’t directly told her. “I can go back to the routine that we had in place before with Alaric.”
“Right, Alaric.” Nathalie bit her lip and stared at the top of the table instead of at Greer. That was odd. Nathalie was always a direct person, and she’d never hedged when telling Greer off before. “Alaric wasn’t wrong to be scared before.”
“All right?” Greer still wasn’t sure where Nathalie was going with this conversation.
“I’m pregnant, Greer.” Nathalie looked at her directly. “And it wasn’t just the flu that hospitalized me, it was complications from the flu and pregnancy.”
“Nathalie…” Greer trailed off on her name, not sure what else to say. Her heart broke with compassion and also added a whole new layer of fear.
“When I told you about the surgery I had last year, it was because I’d lost my last baby at six months, and I went into shock, lost a lot of blood, and very nearly didn’t make it through those first two nights.”
“Jesus.” Greer’s head was spinning. What kind of secrets had Nathalie been keeping? What else was she holding back on?
“I promised Alaric that I wouldn’t try for another baby, but I did. He doesn’t know that I’m pregnant, but Ivy and Lachlan do—they’re the only ones—and I’d like to keep it that way for a little longer.”
Nathalie paused, the air in the room tense but also cleansing. Greer hadn’t realized just how much the withholding of the information was affecting her, but now she was being brought into the conversation and she had no clue why. This, for her at least, was out of the blue.
“Why are you telling me now?” Greer crossed her arms defensively. She didn’t want to come off as a jerk, but Nathalie had very specifically kept her out of the information before now, going to the extremes of booting her out of the hospital room multiple times to keep it from her. This change wasn’t going to go without an explanation.
“Because I need you to know. We need you to know,” Nathalie corrected. “And I need to stop keeping it from you.”
“But why? I don’t understand. You don’t have to tell me, it’s not my information to keep.”
“Because you deserve to know,” Nathalie tried again.
But Greer wasn’t going to have it. She didn’t deserve any kind of information. Nathalie was just her employer, nothing more. And she had made it abundantly clear in the last few months that she wanted nothing beyond a simple boss-employee relationship between them.
“I want you to know,” Nathalie corrected with a frown. “I want you to be able to share in this.”
Greer again wasn’t sure how she felt about that. The change in direction from Nathalie seemed quite stark and this was obviously calculated. Nathalie had come in here, specifically now when they were alone, to talk about this.
“I’m really not following as to why you’re telling me now, but all right. We’ll need to renegotiate my contract for when the baby is born. When are you due?”
Nathalie’s lips parted, but she shut them quickly, her lips pressing into a thin line. Had she not expected Greer to go that route? Did she want praise and congratulations and excitement? Because Nathalie didn’t seem like someone who thrived off those things.
“We can talk about that later.” Nathalie looked out the window and frowned. “It doesn’t need to be discussed for a while.”
“Right. So are we done here?”
“No.” Nathalie turned back to her. “No, we’re not. I know that I’m the cause of what’s come between us, and I’m so very sorry for it. I can’t take back what I did and what I said. But I would like for us to find some less tense ground to stand on, especially if you’ll be here when this baby is born.” Nathalie put her hands on her belly, but she didn’t take her eyes off Greer.
“Why did you do it?” Greer asked. “Why did you say those things to me?”
Nathalie sucked in a sharp breath. “Because I was jealous.”
That was a punch straight to the heart. Nathalie? Jealous? The one who preached about open relationships and polycules? The one who was dead set on never being in a relationship because they had emotions? Greer was shocked. She was more than shocked, she was flat out shook.
“Jealous? Of who? Lachlan?”
Nathalie’s face remained passive, but her lips twitched slightly. “I watched you two. I know I shouldn’t have, but after I’d opened that door, I couldn’t make myself turn away no matter how many times I told myself I needed to. You were so into her, into making her feel as much pleasure as possible, into taking your time and teaching her. I never would have had that patience.” Nathalie smiled at that thought, and Greer’s stomach churned. “Lachlan saw me, but I didn’t want her to tell you. I didn’t want to ruin a good thing.”
“So you chose the next morning to ruin it.” That wasn’t a question, and Greer wasn’t going to hold back any longer. She needed Nathalie to be forthcoming with what she had to say because she was so tired of living in the dark.
“I chose the next morning to confront you about it, yes. And I didn’t…” Nathalie trailed off, her lips forming into a slight frown before she raised her gaze to meet Greer’s again. “I didn’t handle myself or the situation well, and for that, I truly am sorry.”
“Who were you jealous of, Nathalie?” Greer wasn’t sure why she was pushing this so much, but she needed to know. Was Nathalie actually attracted to her? Or was it all because of Lachlan? When the two of them finally figured out they were interested in each other, would that leave Greer out in the cold dark again?
“Both of you,” Nathalie answered, her voice sounding so reasonable. “I was jealous of both of you, but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way for Lachlan—you have to understand that.”
“Holy fuck, Nathalie.” Greer stood up and paced to the other side of the kitchen before coming back and standing at the back of the chair. Every nerve in her body was telling her to walk out of the house, to leave the building, to take a long walk where she didn’t have to talk to anyone, see anyone, when she could rightfully process this damn bomb that Nathalie had just thrown in her lap.
“I wanted you to know.”
“To know what? Exactly?” Greer gripped the chair, her knuckles turning white. “That all of this has been because you’ve been jealous? And you simply couldn’t deal with your feelings about it?”
“I…” Nathalie paused, shaking her head. “I didn’t deal with it well, no.”
“No shit.” Greer straightened up and groaned again. “Do you know how hard it’s been to watch Alaric and to navigate him through what he’s feeling, to stand back and watch as Lachlan and Ivy swoop in to take care of everything you need because you simply won’t talk to me—about anything—and then to have to sit here while you call me over for a talk because you find it’s time to share with me?” Greer snorted. “It’s ridiculous.”
“I know it is.” Nathalie squared her shoulders. “And I’m sorry for it.”
“Are you? Does that sorry include change? Because if it doesn’t, then it’s pretty worthless to me.” Greer was just getting fired up and she needed to calm down. She couldn’t be yelling at Nathalie in her state, while she was still recovering, but God the woman was infuriating.
“I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m telling you that I’m pregnant before telling anyone else. And I’m telling you that I’m very much attracted to you.”
“That’s not a consolation right now.” Greer walked to the fridge, angrily jerked it open and grabbed herself a bottle of juice. Then she came back to the table and sat down. She didn’t even open the bottle before she started back in on Nathalie. “You were really sick. You’re still pretty sick. You’re not going to just pop back up on Monday and say, Oh, I’m fine. Nothing was ever wrong. ”
“No, I’m not,” Nathalie agreed. “I have to take things slow right now.”
“Shut up and listen to me.” Greer pointed at her. “I’ve bent over backwards to take care of Alaric and to take care of you, and you have done me nothing in return. I didn’t expect grand gestures or a pay raise—nothing. What I expected was common human decency. And this? This isn’t it. This is still about you. You’re still being the selfish one here. You’re still doing this all on your own terms because you found the time to figure it out. Meanwhile, the rest of us have been living in some kind of frustrated, awkward, eggshell-walking hell while you’ve been holed up trying to figure out what you feel.” God, it felt amazing to say that. Greer hadn’t realized just how much she’d held onto that thought and feeling, but letting it loose now was exactly what she’d needed—and hopefully what Nathalie needed, too. “Grow up, Nathalie. You aren’t the be-all and end-all of this family. They need you, yes, but you aren’t the center of their universe or the one holding them together.”
Nathalie clenched her jaw, but she didn’t immediately respond. Maybe she understood what Greer was finally saying. Maybe she was hearing the anger and the hurt underneath everything that had happened.
“You’re right.” Nathalie reached for Greer’s hand, taking it in her own. “You’re absolutely right.”
“Then do something to change it.”
“I am. I already have. And I’ll continue to.” Nathalie squeezed Greer’s hand and then let it go. “I need you to work with me on this. Okay?”
“Why would I even think about doing that?” Greer threw out the one last bit of anger that she still held.
“Because I’m asking you to—not just for me, but for Alaric, for Lachlan and Ivy, and all the kids. For this baby who doesn’t even know you yet. And maybe… just maybe… for yourself, if you’ll ever find it within you to forgive me.” Nathalie had her hands on her belly again.
Greer narrowed her gaze and sat back heavily in the chair. She wasn’t someone who was good at holding anger. She hated being mad. She’d rather sit down and talk things out for hours before she went to bed angry, and she knew without a doubt that Nathalie was the complete opposite. She would hold anger and contempt and frustration within her so easily, doing everything she could to work it out before she actually went to the person who ticked her off to resolve the problem.
“I’m so sorry, Greer. I can’t say that enough.” Nathalie seemed so small in that chair, sitting alone in this big house with no one other than the nanny for company.
Greer sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’ll work on forgiving you. But I need to see actual progress going forward.”
“I promise you that I’ll do everything in my power to work on that.”
“Good.” Greer swallowed hard and released all of the pent-up frustration that she still had. It wasn’t necessary anymore, and holding onto it wouldn’t do her any good. “Now, the baby…”
“What about the baby?” Nathalie seemed wary now.
Greer’s lips turned upward into a big smile. “Congratulations, Nathalie. Really. If this is what you want, then I’m so happy that it’s finally happening.”
Nathalie’s eyes watered, a tear slipping from the corner of one and falling down her cheek. She brushed it away quickly, but her nose was red, and the waterworks had already started. She shook her head as she scrunched up her face in an attempt to stop them. Greer didn’t hesitate.
She stood up, took the two steps to Nathalie’s chair and pulled Nathalie into her belly and hugged her. Nathalie held onto Greer’s arms as the sobs racked through her, echoing through the kitchen as she continued to cry. Greer continued to hold her, to rub her hands up and down Nathalie’s back and over her hair as she soothed her.
She couldn’t imagine what Nathalie had been going through, so much on her own, and so much at one time. The fear she must have endured, not only as soon as she figured out that she was pregnant but for the last few weeks when she was so sick. Greer dropped her head down into Nathalie’s hair and deepened their hug. And she found all the compassion that she had left in store, and she gave it to the one person who needed it right now.