Chapter 37
thirty-seven
GREER
“I fucked up,” Greer said as soon as she stepped into Kam’s apartment at Windermere.
“Well, hi to you, too. So glad you got here safely.” Kam snorted.
“I’m serious. I really fucked up this time.” Greer was a nervous wreck. She dropped her duffle onto Kam’s couch and sat down but then immediately stood up.
Kam wrinkled her brow and frowned at her. “What happened?”
Greer’s stomach twisted in knots. She rifled through her bag and pulled out the envelope that she’d been handed during lunch with the kids. She hadn’t managed to mention it to anyone else because she didn’t know what to say to them. Stepping closer, Greer handed it over to Kam.
“Go ahead and read it.”
Kam slid open the envelope and pulled the papers out. Kam was silent as she read them, and that wasn’t helping Greer’s nerves any.
“I don’t know what to do.” She bounced on her toes, her hands wringing together in front of her.
Kam flicked her gaze up to Greer. “I’m not done reading.”
“Fine.” Greer threw her hands up in the air and stalked to Kam’s kitchen. She needed a drink. And now that she was here, for at least one night, she was going to drink. Screw driving back, screw anything—what she needed was her best friend to tell her how to get out of this one and how to get herself out of this entire situation.
“You’re being called as a witness in your boss’s divorce proceedings.” Kam flipped the papers over backward and forward like she was missing something. “I don’t see that as entirely unusual. You get to see a side of her that no one else does.”
Holy hell, Greer had a whole lot of catching up to do with Kam. She poured herself a shot, took it, and then poured herself another.
“I had sex with her.”
Kam’s head snapped toward her. “You did what?”
“Like you can judge that!” Greer pointed at her and glared. “You have no room to talk.”
“She’s married!”
“Technically.” Greer ducked her chin and took another shot. It burned on its way down her throat, but she was going to finish off this bottle, which was mostly empty already, and she wasn’t even going to regret it. “She’s been trying to get divorced for two years now, Kam. It’s not like she’s emotionally married anymore.”
Kam glowered. “All right, so that might come up in court.”
“Yeah, it might.” Greer rolled her eyes. “That’s not really the issue. Well, it is, but it’s not the only issue.” Greer needed another shot. She poured it and downed it. “I slept with the other two—and all of them.”
“All of them…” Kam repeated that last part slowly.
Looking at her, Greer could see the wheels turning in Kam’s mind, the turning and twisting from hearing what Greer had said to what she had meant to what that actually meant.
“You slept with all of them. Like at once?” Kam asked.
Greer shrugged. “Yeah.”
“Holy fuck.” Kam stole the shot glass and the bottle of whiskey, and poured herself a shot. “Also, who were you subpoenaed by?”
“The ex.”
“Double fuck.” Kam took another shot.
Greer bounced on her toes again, needing to move. She started from the beginning—when everything started, how she ended up with all of them—and by the time she finished the story, the bottle was empty and her head was spinning. She needed food, now.
“Aside from the logistics of how four of you have sex at the same time?—”
“We’re not getting into that,” Greer slurred slightly.
“Right.” Kam grabbed Greer’s hand and held onto her tightly. “What you’re telling me is that you’ve always been this way, you don’t want one single relationship, you want this poly-thingy—I swear I’ll remember that word when I’m more sober—and you think you might have found it with them?”
“In essence, yes. What grub do you have?”
“Uh… not much.” Kam glanced back toward the fridge. “I mostly eat the school food or at Elia’s.”
“Does your girlfriend cook?” Greer cocked her head at Kam. “Because if she cooks, I think you found your soulmate.”
Kam laughed, and her cheeks were rosy. She was so happy, and it was amazing to see her so settled. Greer hadn’t ever seen Kam like this. She’d always been on an uphill battle when it came to Lauren, Kam’s ex-girlfriend, so seeing her enjoying her relationship was amazing.
“I want what you have,” Greer murmured, diving far too deep into herself when she said that. “I want to be in love and to be loved, and I want to be able to flaunt my relationship proudly. I know I won’t be able to do that last part—at least not publicly—but I can with you, right?”
“Absolutely!” Kam leaned in and pulled Greer against her in a hug. “I’ll always be here for you.”
“Thanks.” Greer wiped her hands against her cheeks, tears falling from her eyes. Why had that been so painful to say? She’d known that she wasn’t built for a monogamous relationship for a while now—but it still hurt that she wouldn’t be able to just be in a relationship and go on dates and take her partners places like weddings and have all of them on her arm. It was such a stupid notion, but she still wanted that part of a normal relationship.
“Always and forever, isn’t that what we used to say?” Kam brushed her fingers along Greer’s back.
“Yeah.” Greer drew in a slow breath and closed her eyes. “But I’m a liability for them.”
“What?” Kam sat up straight, narrowing her gaze in confusion. “You just told me that you want a relationship with them, and now you’re telling me that you’re a liability?”
Greer nodded. “I am!”
“Who told you that?”
“Abagail,” Greer mumbled.
“Ugh, Abagail.” Kam growled out her name. “I don’t know what that woman has against love and relationships, but she’s seriously got some issues she needs to work through.”
Greer frowned, trying to focus her eyes on Kam. “What?”
“She’s apparently been in love with Elia for years, but she didn’t decide to make a move on her until Thanksgiving.”
“But you two were dating by then.”
“Yup.” Kam growled again. “She didn’t seem to care, though.”
“What the hell?”
“Exactly.” Kam flung her hand up and rolled her eyes. “So my guess is that you met with her, instead of me—we’ll get to that in a minute—and she told you to break up with them.”
“Yeah.” Greer was hit with the guilt. She shouldn’t have avoided talking to Kam. She’d needed her best friend, not someone who was dead set against love. But also, love? Is that what this was?
“And you didn’t come talk to me because…?”
“Because I didn’t want to hear what you had to say.”
Kam snorted. “So the truth?”
“Yeah, that.” Greer put her head back onto the couch cushion.
“And what truth were you trying to hide from?” Kam mimicked Greer’s pose and eyed her carefully. “That you’re in love? That you don’t want to give up what you’ve found? That you’re scared of what it all means?” Kam elongated every you .
Greer didn’t want to answer her, though. Because what she’d been feeling was beyond what she should have been feeling. She’d fallen hard for those three women, each of them in their own right. But she had also fallen hard for the kids—all of them.
“I don’t want to give them up.” Greer bit her lip and then the inside of her cheek. “But I don’t see any other way that this will work without me quitting.”
“Quitting doesn’t necessarily mean giving them up. Elia and I had that conversation, especially since I’m applying for the Head of School position. I’ll still be her boss, as you so kindly pointed out.”
Greer chuckled. She loved Kam, and she loved that Kam could at least relate to this. The biggest difference being that Kam had an entire school at her back, people who could be checks and balances. Greer had no one. She was all out on her own, and if she didn’t walk this line carefully, she was going to be the one who would end up losing out in this situation. She was the weakest link, and she was the one in the most vulnerable position.
“I can come live with you when this goes to shit, right?” Greer asked, taking Kam’s hand in her own again. She wanted that support again.
“Of course!” Kam squeezed her hand. “Or rather I’ll stick you at Elia’s since you can’t live here because of the students, but of course!”
“You’re going to make me live with your girlfriend?” Greer wrinkled her nose.
Kam laughed. “I’m fairly certain that you’re not going to need the backup plan because you always seem to figure things out.”
“Maybe.” Greer sighed heavily. “You’re the only family that I have.”
“I love being your family. Screw those other people who were assholes.”
Greer grinned. “This is why I love you.”
“Love you too.” Kam’s eyes were getting heavy by the second. Alcohol usually did that to her, but Greer wasn’t done talking yet.
“What if I do love them?”
“If?” Kam said on a scoff. “I thought we’d established that already.”
Greer whimpered. “What do I do about it?”
“You love them. What else can you do?” Kam turned her head to the side to look at Greer directly. “What do you want to do about it?”
“I don’t know. That’s the problem. I don’t want to be put on that stand and asked questions about my sex life. That’s so damn invasive.”
“It really is.” Kam frowned. “Maybe you can get out of it?”
“Doubt it. Ivy’s ex is a piece of work.”
“I think I know something about that.”
“Not like this.” Greer looked at Kam directly. “Lauren is nothing like this. She’s sane. Penny? She’s batshit crazy on a good day. She reminds me so much of my parents. I hate that she does, too.”
Kam frowned. “But she’s not them. And just like them, she doesn’t have any power over you, remember?”
“I know. But when she goes after me? It brings me right back to being that little girl who didn’t understand, who just wanted her parents to love her, and wanted to be the perfect daughter.”
“Oh, Greer.”
Greer’s heart was ready to shatter at those words. She hated remembering how that felt, how it had tortured her growing up, and how it had ruined her for so many years until she’d gone to therapy and done the work necessary to move on, and until she decided that she had to cut her parents off for her own mental health and wellbeing. And that decision had been the hardest and best one she’d ever made.
“I’ll seriously be here for you. Always.” Kam tugged Greer in. “And if you end up getting called into the court and having to testify, then I’ll be there for you that day, too. I’m not going to make you do this alone, ever.”
“Thanks.” Greer snuggled in close to Kam. This had been exactly what she needed. And she should have come here sooner. She should have trusted her instincts and the family that she knew loved her without conditions and without strings attached. “Dating my bosses has been brutal.”
Kam laughed lightly. “I think you’ll have to talk to Elia about that one. I haven’t actually dated my boss—ever.”
“Speaking of Elia. You said she cooked right?”
“Yeah.”
“But you don’t have food.”
“I have some!” Kam whined, again staring back at her small kitchen. “I have popcorn and Pop-Tarts and some cereal.”
“But do you have milk?” Greer giggled ridiculously.
“Oh shut up! Do you want food or not?”
“Sure, since we’re clearly going to gain back our freshman fifteen. Let’s go for the junk food deluxe order.” Greer stood up with Kam to get some food, only swaying slightly in the process. She was going to be hung over tomorrow, but it had been worth it. Every single shot.