Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
NASH
This was gonna suck.
I usually loved hanging out with Creek, Bean, and Tameron, but today, it was about the last thing I wanted to do.
Well, maybe not the literal last thing because filing taxes surely ranked lower, or maybe cleaning the toilet, but still.
Very much not what I wanted when there was so much I wanted to tell them, but couldn’t.
About Forest being sick.
About Forest needing financial assistance.
Though definitely not about me offering to marry him, and even less about Forest needing other help and me providing it.
Other help. I almost snorted at my own understatement. Help? Was that really what I was gonna call it, even to myself? Come on, couldn’t I at least be honest with myself?
I’d jacked him off. Given him a hand job. Had helped him achieve the orgasm he’d been unable to make happen on his own.
Except all of those sounded way too clinical, crude, or altruistic. Like it had been a hookup between strangers, and it hadn’t been like that. Or like I had helped Forest out of the goodness of my heart, which was so far from the truth it might as well be on a different continent.
I’d helped him because he’d been the sexiest man I’d ever seen in my life. Even standing there trembling, with those big, sad eyes, frustration painted all over his face, he’d been so goddamn beautiful. And when I’d touched him, truly touched him for the first time…
Fireworks had gone off. He might’ve been the one experiencing the pleasure, but I’d seen stars too, though of a different kind. It had been heaven to touch him, to wrap my hand around him, and…
Fuuuuuck, my hard-on was back with a vengeance for, like, the fifth time or so today. And that was after I’d jacked myself off hard—twice—this morning to the sweet memories of last night.
The look on his face as he’d surrendered to the pleasure, his cheeks all rosy, his eyes glassy with lust, and those pouty lips wet from licking them.
It had taken everything not to kiss him, not to make it more than he wanted me to.
And he’d been in no position to give consent for anything else, too frustrated.
I recognized sexual desperation when I saw it.
Hell, I’d been there myself more times than I could count.
Being in the Army meant little privacy, and even though I’d become an expert in the quickest jack-off sessions in the world out of necessity, there were still plenty of times when that hadn’t been possible.
Or when I’d been so on edge that a quick release simply hadn’t been enough.
Like right now. Every time I thought of Forest’s face as he came, of the utter relief and pleasure and gratitude, of how hot he’d looked, how debauched, I grew hard all over again.
I’d probably need another two orgasms to keep myself in check, but alas, I didn’t have the time.
We were meeting at Creek’s today, and I was one block away.
The thought of facing Creek and not being able to tell him about his brother brought a heavy feeling to my stomach. I hated lying to him, and yes, lying by omission was still lying.
I understood why Forest didn’t want me to tell Creek. He wasn’t wrong that Creek would go all big brother on his ass and basically take over. That was how Creek operated, though he did it out of love.
So yes, I would respect Forest’s decision, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. Even less now that we were…involved. Christ, if Creek knew I’d had my hand on his little brother’s cock…
I winced. Nothing good could come from telling Creek that.
And if he ever found out I’d deliberately hid Forest’s illness from him, he’d kill me with his bare hands. Or at least, he’d try to, and I wasn’t too sure I could still take him. He was in better shape than I was right now, even with a missing limb, and younger too.
The good news was that those thoughts had taken care of my erection. Silver lining and all that.
I blew out a long sigh as I whipped my truck into a parking spot, happy I’d found one relatively close to Creek’s place. It was still two blocks away, but in this neighborhood, that was nothing. I’d hung out with him on a Sunday afternoon once and had to park a mile away.
Tameron got out of his car across the street at the same time I did, and I waved to get his attention since shouting would be useless.
His face lit up when he saw me, and something inside me stirred.
These guys meant so fucking much to me. I know they often saw me as their big brother, as the guy who had helped them get back on their feet, but they had saved me too.
He gave me a fierce hug once he’d crossed the street. That was new. He’d never been a hugger. Maybe he’d missed me too? That thought warmed my chest.
“How’s life?” he asked.
I waited until he could see me before I answered, signing and speaking. “Busy, but good. You?”
“You’re still continuing with your ASL lessons?”
“Of course.”
He blinked. “Why?”
The one thing these three had in common was that they always felt others shouldn’t have to make an effort for them. Even Forest was the same. Why was it so hard for people to accept that loving someone meant making the effort?
Not that I loved Forest. Well, I did, but not like that. As a friend. I wanted to say a little brother, but after last night, that was a hard no.
I put a hand on his shoulder. “Because you’re worth it.”
He stared at me for a second, then snorted. “You’re quoting commercials to me now?”
I grinned. “If the proverbial shoe fits.”
We both laughed, but I didn’t miss the underlying gratitude in his eyes.
When we got to the front door, Creek had opened it already, and laughter drifted out from inside. We walked in, closing the door behind us.
“You should’ve seen his face,” Bean was saying, and I could hear the laughter in his words. “If only I’d managed to keep myself from reacting a little longer, he would’ve fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. But I couldn’t keep a straight face anymore.”
Creek was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes lighting up when he spotted Tameron and me. “Hey!”
He hugged Tameron first, then me, and it hit me all over again how much the man had changed. He’d never be Mr. Sunshine, but the heavy weight had lifted from his shoulders and the clouds had vacated his eyes.
“It’s good to see you laugh, dude,” I told him.
“Thanks. It helps that I have a lot to laugh about.”
I wrapped my arms around Bean and held him close for a moment. “What was so funny? We heard you laughing when we walked in.”
Bean’s face split open in a wide smile again.
“Oh, I told Jarek yesterday that I’d made chicken liver for him since he loves it so much, damn well knowing it’s the one thing that will literally make him puke.
He tried so hard to find a way out of that situation without hurting my feelings, until he realized I was messing with him. It was too funny.”
I shook my head, grinning. “That poor man. Next time, he won’t believe you when you really do forget something.”
Bean shrugged. “You gotta laugh about that kind of shit, or it will eat you alive.”
I had to give him that. Living with a traumatic brain injury like Bean’s was far from easy.
Not only was his memory shit, but he also had migraines and the occasional mood swings.
But Jarek worshipped the ground Bean walked on.
I would’ve loved the man just for that, but he was also the nicest guy you’d ever meet.
Calm, steady, and with endless patience, he was exactly who Bean needed.
“I remember a lot of flamingo jokes about Creek,” I said.
“Though not that many about Tameron, come to think of it.”
“Not that easy when he can’t hear them in the first place,” Creek quipped, which earned him a head slap from Tameron.
Ah, I had missed this. I settled on the couch next to Bean, who looked a little paler than I liked. Maybe he was having trouble sleeping again? I made a mental note to check with him or maybe with Jarek if Bean couldn’t remember himself.
Creek asked what I wanted to drink with a wordless gesture of his hand toward my options, and I signaled for a beer. If I was gonna have to sit here with this heavy guilt, I needed something to cope.
“How’s the job?” I asked Tameron. He’d started working with Dax, Dayton’s brother, who owned a garage. Since Dax was also Deaf, it was the perfect environment for Tameron.
“I’m loving it. More than I had expected, actually. Dax is happy too, since I still have enough residual hearing with my hearing aids in to communicate with customers who aren’t fluent in ASL.”
“I bet it’s done wonders for your own ASL fluency too,” Bean said.
Tameron nodded. “I’m still learning every day, both from Dayton and from Dax and the others.” He chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows. “Including some of the…dirtier signs.”
Creek’s eyebrows rose. “Now those, I would like to learn. They’d be useful.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Why? You plan on propositioning Tameron with something dirty?”
Creek shot me a look. “Ew, fuck no.”
Tameron clutched his heart. “Ouch. Brutal.”
Creek rolled his eyes. “Very funny. It’s not like Nash here is offering you his sexual services.”
The sip of my beer I had just taken ended up in my nose, and I violently coughed, wheezing for breath.
Creek slapped me on the back a few times until I waved at him that I was fine.
I wasn’t, but I could suck air into my lungs again, so that was a start.
The whole sexual services comment had landed a little too close for comfort, since that had been exactly what I had offered Forest.
Oh, please, I couldn’t think of last night again. If I sported a boner now, I’d never hear the end of it. But it seemed my body was still prioritizing oxygen over everything else, and thank fuck for that.
“That’s a no then to your sexual services?” Tameron joked.