Chapter 21 #2
Suddenly, the fight seemed to drain right out of him, and now, his face showed something else. Sadness. “You didn’t.”
I frowned. What was he talking about? “I’m not following.”
“You saved him, Nash. Without you, your support, your insurance, and your care for him, he wouldn’t have survived.”
My eyes widened. I had hoped Creek would ultimately come to that conclusion, but I’d never hoped in my wildest dreams he’d get there this quickly. “You’re giving me way too much credit here.”
Creek sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.
“As angry as I am that you two kept this from me, I understand why you did it. Forest…he’s not been himself for a long time.
I thought it was the distance, the stress of his job, but now I realize it was more than that.
He was struggling, and he didn’t want me to know. ”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “He didn’t want to worry you. He knows how much you’ve already been through.”
“And what about what he’s been through? What he’s going through now?” Creek shook his head. “I should’ve been there for him. I should’ve seen the signs.”
“You can’t blame yourself for this, Creek. Forest is an adult. He made his choices, just like we all do.”
“But I’m his brother. I’m supposed to protect him, to look out for him. And I failed. So thank you for being there for him.”
The raw pain in his voice made my chest ache even more than it already did. A lump formed in my throat and tears stung my eyes. “I couldn’t leave him struggling on his own. He deserved so much better than that.”
“You gave him better. You gave him a chance.” Creek’s voice broke on the last word. “And I’m grateful for that. More than you know.”
I swallowed hard, trying to keep my own emotions in check. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wanted to, but…”
“But Forest asked you not to.” Creek sighed, running a hand over his face. “I get it. I do. Doesn’t mean I’m not pissed as hell, but I understand why you did it.”
“For what it’s worth, I never meant to hurt you. Or betray your trust. You’re my brother, Creek. That hasn’t changed.”
He met my gaze, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I know. And you’re mine. Always will be.”
The relief that washed over me was so intense it was almost painful. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d needed to hear those words from him until this moment. “I was scared I’d lose you.”
Creek reached out and grasped my hand, his grip firm and reassuring. “Never, Nash. You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not.”
I managed a weak chuckle, even as a few tears escaped down my cheeks. “Guess I’d better like it then.”
“Damn straight.” He squeezed my hand once more before letting go and leaning back in his chair. “So, this marriage… Forest says it’s not real, that you don’t love him.”
He told them that? “He’s wrong.”
“He is?”
Bean snorted. “You’re gonna defend his honor now, like a big brother?”
Creek crossed his arms. “Better late than never.”
I closed my eyes briefly, exhaustion and emotion threatening to pull me under again. “I love him. Jesus, Creek, I love him so much. My vow of forever to him was real.”
“So why haven’t you told him?”
“I want to. God, I want to so badly. But I’m scared. Scared of…of…”
“Of him not feeling the same way?” Bean asked.
I met his knowing gaze and nodded. “Yeah. And of losing him because of it. Of making things awkward and uncomfortable between us. I can’t… I can’t risk that. He needs me right now, as a friend and a support. I can’t put that burden on him, not with everything else he’s dealing with.”
Just then, someone knocked on the door, and then Dayton stuck his head around the corner. “Someone’s here to see you.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Forest?”
Dayton smiled. “The one and only. You ready for him?”
“Please.” The word came out as barely more than a whisper, but it held all the longing and hope I felt.
Creek and Bean exchanged a look, then Creek stood. “We’ll give you two some privacy. But, Nash… Don’t fuck this up, okay? He needs you. More than he’s willing to admit.”
I met his gaze steadily. “I won’t. I promise.”
They left, and a few moments later, Forest stepped into the room, looking pale and drawn, his eyes red-rimmed from crying. But god, he was still the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen.
He was using his cane, and his hand trembled slightly as he gripped it. My heart clenched at the sight. I wanted to leap out of this bed, wrap him in my arms, hold him tight, and never let go. But I could barely move without pain shooting through every nerve ending.
“Hey,” I said softly, my voice still hoarse.
“Hey, yourself.” He moved closer, his steps hesitant. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got hit by a truck.” I tried for a wry smile, but it probably came out as more of a grimace. “Guess that’s pretty accurate though.”
He took a few steps into the room, his movements stiff and hesitant, like he was fighting off dizziness. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, drinking in the sight of him like a man lost in the desert who had finally found water. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“I wasn’t sure if…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I didn’t know if you’d want to see me.”
“Of course I do. I always want to see you, Forest.”
He made his way over to the bed, lowering himself carefully into the chair Creek had just vacated.
His hand found mine, our fingers intertwining like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“I was so scared,” he whispered. “When they called and said you’d been in an accident… God, Nash, I thought…”
“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m just… I’m so glad you’re alive.”
It hit me then, how very real the possibility was that I could’ve died without ever telling him how I felt. Tears welled in my eyes again, blurring my vision. Jesus, why was I so goddamned weepy? Was that because of the meds?
Not that it mattered. I didn’t care if Forest saw me cry. Not even a little bit.
“Me too. Seeing that truck coming at us… Forest, I thought that was it. I thought I was going to die without ever telling you how I feel about you.”
His eyes widened, his lips parting slightly. “What…? What do you mean?”
I swallowed hard, my heart pounding against my battered ribs. This was it. The moment of truth. No more hiding, no more pretending. I had to lay it all on the line, consequences be damned. “I’m in love with you, Forest. Completely, utterly, head-over-heels in love with you.”
He stared at me, shock written all over his face. For a long, painful moment, he didn’t say anything. My heart raced, pounding against my battered ribs. Had I just ruined everything?
“You…? You love me?” he finally whispered, his voice trembling.
I nodded, fighting back tears. “I do. God, Forest, I love you so much it hurts. When I made those vows to you, I meant every word. I want to be your husband, your partner, your everything. For real. Forever.”
A single tear slipped down his cheek. “I… Nash, I don’t know what to say.”
Fear gripped my heart. Was he going to reject me?
Tell me he didn’t feel the same way? “I know this probably isn’t the best time to be dropping this on you,” I added, desperation filling me.
“You’ve got so much going on, so much to deal with.
But I can’t keep it in anymore. I need you to know how I feel. How much you mean to me.”
He was still for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. I couldn’t read his expression, couldn’t tell what he was thinking. The fear that I’d just ruined everything between us grew, threatening to choke me.
But then he squeezed my hand, his grip warm and reassuring. “Nash…” His voice was soft, barely more than a whisper. “I love you too. I’m in love with you. I have been for a while now.”
My heart stopped, then started racing double-time. Had I heard him right? “You do? You are?”
A small, almost shy smile curved his lips. “I do. I am. I just… I never thought you could feel the same way. I mean, look at me.” He gestured to himself with his free hand. “I’m a mess. I’m broken. I didn’t think anyone could ever love me like this, especially not someone as amazing as you.”
“You’re not broken,” I said fiercely, ignoring the pain to reach up and cup his cheek. “You’re the strongest, bravest, most incredible man I’ve ever met. I’m in awe of you, Forest. Of your resilience, your strength. You amaze me every single day.”
He let out a shaky breath, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I don’t feel very strong or brave most of the time. I feel scared. Uncertain. Like I’m constantly on the verge of losing control.”
“But you keep going,” I said softly, stroking my thumb over his cheekbone. “You keep fighting, even when it’s hard. Even when it hurts. That’s what makes you so incredible, Forest. That’s one of the many, many reasons why I love you.”
A soft sob escaped him and he leaned into my touch, his eyes fluttering closed. “I love you too, Nash. So much. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“You’ll never have to find out,” I promised, my own voice thick with emotion. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours, Forest. For as long as you’ll have me.”
He opened his eyes, meeting my gaze with an intensity that took my breath away. “Forever,” he whispered. “I want you forever.”
My heart soared, a joyous warmth spreading through me that made the pain fade into the far, far distance.
He leaned down, careful of my injuries, and pressed his lips to mine in a soft, sweet kiss that held the promise of forever.
When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against mine, our breaths mingling. “What do we do now?” he asked softly.
“Well, first I need to get out of this hospital bed,” I said with a wry chuckle that turned into a wince as pain lanced through my chest. “And then, we start our life together. Really together.”
He smiled, a real smile this time, one that lit up his whole face. “I like the sound of that.”
“Me too.” I tugged on his hand, urging him closer. “Come here. I need to hold you.”
He hesitated for only a moment before carefully climbing onto the narrow hospital bed beside me, mindful of my injuries. Oh, it still hurt, but I ignored it, overrode it with the same mind-over-matter mindset that had gotten me through all my years in the Army.
I wrapped my arm around him as he settled his head on my shoulder, his body molding to mine like he was always meant to be there.
And maybe he was. Maybe this was exactly where we were both supposed to be. Together, in each other’s arms, ready to face whatever challenges life threw our way.
I pressed a kiss to the top of his head, breathing in the scent of his shampoo. “I love you,” I murmured. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much.”
He tilted his head back to look at me, his eyes shining with love and wonder. “I’m going to hold you to that.”