Chapter 28
CHAPTER
WALTER, HAVE YOU BEEN UP all night?” Judith exclaimed as she poked her head into the study after seeing him sitting there.
He glanced at his wife, who was outfitted in her workout gear. “No. I just came down a little bit ago.”
“But you’re still wearing the clothes you had on from last night?”
He stretched. “I slept in them, in the sitting room. Didn’t want to disturb you.”
“It’s impossible—”
“—yes, I know, to wake you. How about some coffee? I was going to make some.”
“I’m going to hit the gym. I’m a little… um, sore this morning and want to stretch.”
“Okay. Have a good workout.”
She left him there, shaking her head and wondering what was going on with her Rock of Gibraltar Eagle Scout looking to change jobs and staying up all night.
As she headed down to stretch, run on the treadmill, and pump some weights, Judith suddenly thought, Wait, does he suspect? Is that why he wants a new job? Rhett and I probably need to cool things for a while. But maybe we can still make the Asian trip work.
Nash made his coffee and fried an egg and burned some toast, and ate and drank it all fast.
He had reread the letter once more and his emotional response had been even fiercer.
Dad was right. What I did was unforgivable.
He trudged upstairs to begin a new day when all he felt like doing was crawling into bed and assuming the fetal position.
He showered, suited up, and passed Maggie on the way downstairs as she was coming back up with a bagel and a cup of Starbucks.
“Working hard, Father dearest,” she said. “I’ll have something to show you soon.”
He drove to work thinking of nothing but the letter from his father. When he got to the parking garage he remembered. He pulled out the business card and made the call.
Shock answered and said, “You read the letter?”
“How did you know it was me? You don’t have my phone number.”
“Your mom did and she told Ty, and he told me. It’s in my contacts.”
“I read the letter.”
“And?”
“And now I understand better why… things were as they were. And also why you said what you did at the funeral service.”
“But keep in mind that your daddy was sorry for all the shit, Walter, he really was.”
“But he was also right. I should have known better.”
“Guys’ brains don’t finish formin’ till they ’bout twenty-six. Yours was basically mush and you had the girl thing goin’ on and that is some serious shit to a young buck.”
“I see he told you a lot.”
“I helped him with some phrasin’. But know that I didn’t agree with him ’bout all of it. I told him I woulda done the same thing if I wanted to get in a girl’s pants.”
“I just wanted her to like me. I was only fourteen.”
“Some boys start later than others. Had my first kid at seventeen. Did he mention regrets?”
“He did. I take it that was your influence?”
“If he hadn’t felt it, he never would have written it. Ty was his own man.”
“He also said that if I ever needed help that you were the one I should turn to.”
“Yes, I am.”
“But you really don’t even know me, Shock. I don’t think you even like me.”
“I knew and loved your father. That’s enough.”
“He never told me how you got your nickname. He said I hadn’t earned the right to know.”
“Guess you didn’t then” was all Shock had to say about that.
“I… I have regrets too. If I had made more of an effort. If maybe he and I could have talked it out, because—”
“—because before that things were good between you two?”
“I feel like I pissed away over a quarter century’s worth of father-son adventures.”
“But your old man died lovin’ you, Walter.”
“That’s what he wrote, so I believe it.”
“Damn right,” said Shock. “Man’s word was his bond.”
“Still hard to believe I’m his son.”
“Why?”
“Because he was right. I am a prick.”
“No, you Ty Nash’s boy. And Ty Nash was the best friend I ever had. So I will always have your back, Walter. And you can take that to the fucken bank.”