Chapter Five
Abi’s head hurt, and his stomach churned. Nausea was alive and well. Voth shoved a cup of black coffee under Abi’s nose, along with a wrapped fast-food hamburger from the greasiest place in the city.
He sometimes really hated life, especially when he was hungover.
“Eat. It will make you feel better.”
Abi groaned when Voth’s deep voice sent knives through his skull. He was still in his pajamas, which was about all the enticement he needed to go back to bed.
“I’m pretty sure a greasy burger first thing in the morning won’t make me ‘feel better’.
” Time was the only thing that would save him now.
Well, that and the sweet emptiness of death.
Not that he would ever choose that route.
For one thing, he wouldn’t give Colin or any of the rest of his false mates the satisfaction.
And for another, where was the fun in dying?
The fun happened when he killed other people, which he might get to do if he played it right with Peter and begged to go on the next mission.
He needed to drown himself in work so he wouldn’t have to think about Colin and his stupid fucking face anymore.
“I’m very sure it will.” Voth unwrapped it for Abi and shoved it closer. “Eat. Now.”
No one told Voth no. The entire family always did what he said. He was the resident dad in the family. He took care of everyone, including Peter, who resisted him more than anyone else did. Not even he succeeded entirely in avoiding Voth’s aggressive love language.
Abi’s stomach rolled when the greasy burger smell hit him. “I’m going to puke, Voth.”
“You’ll be fine.”
Abi scowled and took a small bite, taking his time chewing. It did nothing to help the nausea. Abi flipped Voth off just to make a point. What point he didn’t know. But watching Voth huff was just about the only thing that made Abi feel better, so yeah. At least he had that.
“I’m not the one who got drunk in the library last night.”
“Well, I started at Randy’s Bar, so technically I got drunk in a bar. Not the library.” Abi had done both, to be fair. Not that he would admit it. He wouldn’t want Voth going around thinking he was right or anything, even though he was.
Voth was also the resident cook. The kitchen belonged to him, according to him.
He made sure everyone in the house knew it.
He had even taken over what would have been the servants’ quarters if they were the type of people to have hired help.
They had too many secrets to keep, including a demon locked in their basement.
To be fair, the guy was feral at the very least and probably certifiable, which is why they had locked him away.
The family motto: we love that you love to kill, but we never kill each other.
The demon needed a doctor at the very least, but so far, Peter hadn’t been able to trust anyone.
Abi avoided the basement at all costs. Demons scared him.
And yeah, maybe that was rich coming from him.
He was a skinwalker, after all. According to an internet search, he knew skinwalkers were demon-adjacent.
He’d come across a couple of demons before.
They lived in Sinner’s Landing, a neighborhood on the east side of the city.
Don’t puke. Don’t puke. “It turns out Colin was just like all the rest of them.”
Voth put a hand on his arm and squeezed gently. “Your true mate is out there, hon.”
“I’m over it. No more mates for me.” Abi put down the burger and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He hadn’t been aware he was crying until tears tickled his cheeks.
He told himself he wasn’t crying over Colin, but maybe he was a little.
It had more to do with the idea of always having a false start.
For all he knew, he was an anomaly and had never even had a true mate.
Maybe all he’d ever get were fake ones. Maybe he was just that strange.
“I’m just tired of all the fakeness. I don’t think I’d recognize realness even if I found it. ”
Voth came around the kitchen island and drew Abi into a hug.
His hugs were the best because he was huge with thick arms that enveloped him so thoroughly it was like the warmest blanket in existence.
Abi pressed his cheek to Voth’s thick chest and closed his eyes.
Voth’s fig scent replaced the smell of greasy burgers.
“Why do you always smell so good?” Abi had always associated Voth with home and comfort. “Total dad vibes.”
Voth chuckled. “I assume the question is rhetorical.”
“Yeah.” Abi pulled away and sat down again.
Voth made his way around the counter. “I have a question that isn’t rhetorical.”
“Lay it on me.” Abi wrapped his hands around his mug and let the coffee warm him from the inside.
Voth ordered nothing but the best beans.
They had one of those fancy machines that did everything, including grinding beans.
Voth could even make a latte upon request. It was as good as any cafe, if not better.
But Abi’s coffee was black and bitter. Not the way he liked it, but probably the way he needed it, given his headache and nausea.
Each sip lessened the pounding in his head and calmed his stomach.
“What happens if you find your true mate, but you reject him out of fear?”
“I’m still dealing with watching Colin get his dick sucked by a pretty boy with pink hair and jeans so tight I could read his mind.” He had zero emotional capacity for that question. In fact, thinking about it made him want to get drunk again.
Voth smirked. “And what were his thoughts?”
“His hand was on his dick. You tell me.”
“Would you trust it if it happened?” When Abi started answering, Voth held up a hand. “I’m asking you to contemplate the answer. You don’t trust easily, Abi. Not even yourself.”
Voth was right. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t trust the men who had come and gone.
Why would he? He was just a passing fancy to them.
None of them ever loved him enough to stick with him after the mating pull had worn off.
In each instance, even with the men he didn’t believe and had rejected, he felt as though something had broken inside him a long time ago, and now he was in pieces.
It was always his fault. He was the cause of each mating failing.
He was the reason for the fakery. Not Colin or the others who came before.
“Eat your burger, Abi. It really will make you feel better.” It shouldn’t, but Abi didn’t doubt Voth.
“If by helping you mean puking, then okay.” Abi smirked, but he picked up the burger and took a small bite. He was pretty sure he had turned green.
He felt better after consuming about three-quarters of it. His stomach settled, and his headache, while not disappearing, had lessened with the caffeine intake.
“Thank you, Voth.”
“Dad vibes, right?” Voth winked at him and then continued cutting bread into evenly proportioned squares for the French toast bake, a Sylvain family favorite.
Abi chuckled. “Totally.”
Voth was right, as usual. The burger settled his stomach. A shower and getting out of his pajamas would further the cause too. With that in mind, he finished, kissed Voth on the cheek, and headed upstairs to his suite.