Epilogue
I got discharged from the hospital four days later, and Kade took me home to his other Tennessee house, in Franklin, just outside of Nashville. It sits on seven acres and is without a doubt the most beautiful home I’ve ever seen. It’s newly built, with all the mod cons. It has six colossal bedrooms, each with its own bathroom, a chef’s kitchen, three living areas, a game room, a recording studio, a library and a gigantic stone and glass conservatory with vaulted wooden ceilings. There’s an outdoor entertainment area too, complete with a pool, fountain, TV area and a hot tub. Gated rolling lawns are dotted with trees, sculptures and statues, and there’s a pretty lake with a dock, as well as a guest house that’s at least three times the size of my rental apartment back in Princeton.
“I want to live here forever,” I told him.
He laughed. “That can be arranged. You haven’t seen the New York loft yet, but we’ll do whatever makes you happy. That’s the only thing I care about.”
The property is right next to estates owned by Travis and Vaughn, so we see a lot of them. I’ve gotten to know Travis’s fiancée Ruby and her sister Gigi, who’s engaged to Vaughn. Sometimes Gigi and I spend our afternoons by the pool, as I write and Gigi studies for her degree in social work. She’s got a calming presence and she’s fun. We’ve become close.
My relationship with Madeline has become a sort of gift in my life. She’s patient and kind and so relieved just to know me that it has grounded me in a way that’s hard to explain. When I talk to her on the phone or we meet up for lunch or we email each other, which we do often, I sometimes feel as though I’m talking to myself. It’s uncanny how similar we are as people.
I’m in touch with Jack less often but he’s written me several emails. He said he wants to tell me the whole story, starting at the beginning. So far it almost feels like the first few chapters of a novel, starting from his very first memories and his early childhood. He’s explaining to me the details of his family life and his upbringing and said he wanted to do it in order, so I can begin to understand what happened, and why. So far he’s only up to his eighth birthday and I’ve asked him to keep going. Every sentence is fascinating to me. He’s a born storyteller and his writing style is giving me ideas. He promised me he’s working on the next chapter and that he’ll send it as soon as it’s ready.
Madeline and Jack have also struck up a renewed friendship. I don’t have any visions of them rekindling their old relationship and I’m not sure if either of them wants to, but for now, it’s nice just to know they’re in touch.
I told my parents that I’d done the search and I’d found my birth parents. They were supportive and they both told me they would have wanted to do the same thing if they were in my shoes, but that they knew it was my own journey and my own decision. My mother even said she’d love to meet them one day, and to thank them for me—one of the two best things that has ever happened to her. Hearing my mother say that to me was both touching and therapeutic. I don’t have to feel like anything’s missing anymore. I don’t have to feel like a square peg in a round hole, or feel guilty for wondering about who I am. And I’m excited by the thought of introducing my two families, if they ever want me to, when the time is right.
I know who I am in every sense of the word now and it’s an incredibly powerful feeling.
Sam has visited us several times and he and Kade play music together. Kade was impressed by how good he is and has even asked him to collaborate on a song on his next solo album. When Summer visited us for a week during her last break, Summer and Sam got along like a house on fire. Summer said that if he’s my brother then he’s also her brother and they joke and tease each other like actual siblings, which for some reason makes me as happy as anything ever has.
Kade gave Billy—the guy who worked at the gas station and who might have saved my life—three hundred thousand dollars, a brand new Shelby GT350, two backstage passes to the band’s next show and his phone number, in case Billy ever needed anything. Billy wrote a gushing thank you note telling us he quit his job at the gas station and has applied to medical school, which has been his lifelong dream but one he could never afford. Kade offered to pay for it.
Kade’s lawyers prosecuted Carmen to the full extent of the law. She was fined $25,000 and sentenced to two years in a minimum security prison. At my insistence, the sentence was downgraded to two years of community service and two years of weekly court-ordered therapy. She’s also not allowed to contact us or come within two miles of us. If she breaches any of those terms she’ll be sent directly to prison with no possibility of parole.
I didn’t want her to go to prison. She was devastated to have lost him and in some ways I could understand that. Either way, I thought prison sounded excessively harsh so I wouldn’t budge on at least giving her a chance to redeem herself.
Kade finally relented, but he made sure she understood that next time he wouldn’t be so forgiving (in slightly more colorful language).
Amber and the two bodyguards got a lesser sentence of a $5,000 fine each and sixty days of community service. My bag was returned to me and, through her lawyer, Amber sent me a long, heartfelt apology, telling me she was sorry I was hurt because of something she’d done. I wrote back to her and told her I forgave her. I don’t have room in my life for holding grudges. It’s too full of the good stuff.
Kade Tucker is a dream in every sense of the word. Every day I wonder how I got so lucky.
He dotes on me and cooks for me. He plays music to me and he tells stories to the baby growing inside me, which he’s convinced is a girl. We’ve decided not to find out. I’ve never met anyone who’s so excited about becoming a father as Kade is and I know he’s going to be amazing.
My own parents were, of course, surprised by the news that I’m expecting a baby and that I’m engaged. I don’t know if it’s because my father’s a huge fan of Kade’s music, or if it’s just because I’m deeply and resolutely happy and content in a way that’s new, or if it’s because I spent time in the hospital and they’re thankful that I’m okay, but my parents were surprisingly accepting of our news, and even sort of wildly excited about it. I told my dad I still might continue with my PhD one day but not right now and he was understanding, considering everything else that’s been going on.
I even told my parents about the book I’m writing and they were intrigued, especially my mother. Turns out she reads romance. She only has literary fiction and the New Yorker and the New York Times Book Review on display on the bookshelves and coffee tables where she entertains the economics department—but her Kindle is loaded with “the good stuff,” she told me, which made me laugh. In this way, the two of us have connected on a whole new level.
I haven’t heard from Theo since our last phone call but my father did mention that he’s dating his new teaching assistant, who happens to be writing her thesis on Tolstoy. Sounds like a perfect match.
My cuts healed and my concussion, I’m convinced, has spurred a creative rush that has basically consumed me since the second I got out of the hospital. For several weeks, Kade had to pry the laptop from my hands to make sure I wasn’t overworking or wearing myself out. But the book is going well. The words literally pour out of me and I’m sometimes struggling to type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts.
The first draft is finished. I’m still working on the edits. Kade has been helpful and insightful all the way through. He asks all the right questions and the book is much better for his input. He keeps telling me he thinks it would make a great movie. He said he has a friend who’s a producer that he’s going to get in touch with, but I told him to wait until it’s ready.
I’m now sixteen weeks pregnant and starting to really show.
“I’m taking you to New York,” Kade says. “We’re leaving tonight.”
“Why tonight?” I almost protest. I love this house and the thought of traveling all the way to New York feels like a lot of effort.
“I have something special planned for us for the weekend. It’s a surprise. We’re taking the bus, just the two of us.” Kade hates flying so anytime we go somewhere we always take the tour bus, which is like a luxury apartment on wheels. “I’ll make sure you and my baby are taken care of and well-rested every step of the way. But first there’s something I need to do.”
“What’s that?”
We’re sitting out by the pool in the outdoor living area. It’s still hard to get used to the opulence of my new life with Kade. I don’t need any of it, as long as I can be with him. I still sometimes have to pinch myself that he’s real.
I’m sitting on a lounger with my laptop. It’s spring and the air is warm in Nashville. The property is dotted with flowering trees and the fountain over the pond in the distance casts a glittering rainbow.
“Click ‘Save,’” Kade says.
“It saves automatically.”
He takes my laptop and closes it, setting it aside. He takes something out of his pocket.
In the sun, his eyes are a clear, tropical blue.
He gets down on one knee.
“Stella Juliet Bell, you’re the love of my life, my unicorn girl, my muse, my dream lover, the reason I want to keep breathing, the mother of my baby and the best friend I’ve ever had. I love you more than I could ever put into bass lines or words. I want to give you everything I have and spend every minute of every day—and every night—trying my hardest to make you the happiest woman in the world. Because you light up my life. Baby girl, will you marry me?”
I’m crying and kissing him because my heart is overflowing with love for this beautiful hero who stepped out of my wildest fantasies and showed me how to be the very best version of myself. “I already told you yes, Kade Tucker. A thousand times yes.”
He smiles, sliding a ring onto my finger. It’s two delicate rose gold bands held together by a chain of glinting diamonds. “Good. Because a dress designer and his team are arriving soon. Roxie said he’s the hottest designer in New York right now and she’s coming too to help you get fitted. I don’t want to wait any longer. I want you to be my wife.”
The designer, whose name is Christian, arrives five minutes later, along with Roxie, Gigi and a team of no less than ten of Christian’s staff, with drawings and fabrics, photographs and patterns. They’re all buzzing with ideas and Roxie and Gi help me decide on a silk bodice (that will accommodate my growing baby bump), a long, light-weight skirt with feather detailing and a veil embroidered with tiny musical notes.
As soon as the design has been decided, Kade tells me the bus is waiting and we’re leaving for New York.
We sleep on the bus and the driver drives through the night. Kade makes slow, hot love to me and holds me in his arms all night long.
“How would you feel about getting married this weekend?” he asks me.
“Well, I think we’d need to organize—”
“If all that was taken care of, how would you feel about it? Would you feel ready?”
“Yes. Of course.” Just as he asks the question, I feel the tiniest flutter inside me. “ Kade . I just felt something.” I place his hand on my growing tummy. “I think she likes that idea.”
We get to New York City in the late morning and Kade takes me to his SoHo loft—and now I’m having a hard time deciding if this is my new favorite of his houses or if it’s tied for first with the Franklin house, with the New Orleans house a close third.
The loft takes up the entire top floor of a corner building. It has huge open spaces, the kind of natural light New Yorkers kill for, wooden beams, exposed brick, four large bedrooms, a state of the art kitchen, and even a roof garden.
From the roof garden, you can see the Empire State Building. It reminds me of our conversation about it, how I happen to think it’s the most romantic location in the world for some reason. Maybe we can figure out how to fit it into our own love story while we’re here in New York. I think about suggesting it to him, but his phone rings and the moment passes.
In the morning, Kade cooks me breakfast. “Roxie’s arriving soon and she’s going to take you out for a few hours,” he tells me.
“Roxie’s in New York?”
Just then the buzzer of the door rings. Roxie arrives and the two of them are full of a smug mischief I can’t quite read. “What’s going on?”
“I’m taking you to a spa for the day,” Roxie says. “We’ll see Kade tonight.”
I’m a little confused by their knowing glances. I go along with it because I think I can guess what they’re up to but they won’t tell me anything.
Before we leave, Kade holds my face gently with his warm hands and kisses me. The kiss is so full of feeling I can’t help asking him, “What’s up? Is there something I need to know? Are we—”
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you too.”
“Come on,” Roxie laughs, pulling me by the hand. “You’ll see each other in a few hours.”
She takes me to a spa where we get massaged, waxed, plucked and groomed to within an inch of our lives, then we get our hair and make-up done. “Rox, can you please tell me why we’re getting glammed up to the nines?”
“I’m sworn to secrecy,” is all she’ll say.
When we’re finished, the make-up artist holds up a piece of black silk. She turns me around in the chair and she blindfolds me. “What—?”
“Just go with it, Stella,” Roxie says. “Trust me, you’re going to love this.”
Blindfolded, I’m ushered into a waiting car by Roxie. We drive for a few blocks, then I’m helped out of the car and we enter an elevator, which takes a long time to get to the top of whatever building it is.
The elevator pings and Roxie guides me out, where some people gather around me.
“Can I take the blindfold off now?” I ask her.
“Not quite.”
I’m helped out of my clothes and into a dress, which by now I can guess what it might be—because I can feel that they’re pinning a veil to my hair, arranging it and the fall of the feathery fabric.
“Roxie,” I gasp. “Am I about to get married?”
“Only if you say ‘I do’,” she laughs.
“But where are we? Where’s Kade?”
“He’s here. I’m going to take off your blindfold in just a few minutes.” Once the people who are in charge of dressing me are satisfied, Roxie leads me through a door. I can feel that the air is cooler, like we’re outside.
“Stella?” Roxie asks me.
“Yes?”
“Are you ready to become my sister?”
“Oh, Roxie. I can’t wait.”
Roxie gives me a huge hug. Then she takes off my blindfold and places a large bouquet of white roses in my hand. “These flowers are from Jack,” she says. “He couldn’t be here today but he got in touch with Kade and the two of them arranged it, so something from this day could be from him. He wanted you to know that he’s thinking of you today.”
The flowers are beautiful. Roxie’s grinning at me. She’s wearing a jade green silk jumpsuit and she looks gorgeous.
I look around me. It’s dusk and the space is lit by a purple sky and hanging decorative lights. There are white flowers everywhere. And a small crowd of familiar faces.
We’re at the top of the Empire State Building. On the observation deck.
He remembered.
Kade is standing by a flower-decorated altar. He’s wearing a beautifully-tailored tux with black suede detailing. It’s not a regular tux, it’s the tux of a rock star.
My rock star .
I love him so much.
He’s smiling at me and he’s so gorgeous I can’t believe my eyes.
There’s a minister standing next to him, as well as Vaughn, Travis, Gage and Sam. They’re all wearing tuxes. On the other side of the minister stands Summer, Gigi, Ruby and Piper. They’re all wearing that same deep green as Roxie but each of them has a uniquely-designed dress with some of the same feather detailing as my own dress. He even remembered my favorite color.
My parents are in the crowd and so is Madeline. Some of my friends from college are here. My mother’s sister. And ... Bruce Springsteen? He’s holding a guitar and standing by a microphone and he winks at me. Wow.
My father walks over to me and kisses my cheek. “I’m so proud of the person you are, Stella. Are you ready for me to walk you down the aisle?”
I hold back the tears but it’s hard not to feel overwhelmingly happy. I take his arm. “I love you, Daddy.”
“Love you too, honey.”
A band starts playing and my father walks me down the aisle as Bruce Springsteen sings our wedding song.
Is this a dream?
But then we’re at the altar my father kisses my cheek. He shakes Kade’s hand then he places my hand in Kade’s.
And I gaze up into Kade’s face like I did that very first night we met in the pouring rain. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, darlin’,” he whispers. “Do you like your surprise?”
“I love it so much. I love you so much.”
We say our vows right there at the top of the Empire State Building, surrounded by our family and friends. The minister pronounces us man and wife and Kade kisses me for a long time.
We dance our first dance to She’s The One, my favorite Bruce Springsteen song—sung by the man himself. Then he joins the party and Ruby sings a song, then Travis. And then Kade. It goes like this:
I used to look for her in the faces of the crowd
In every stranger’s smile
Every country road, every city mile
I searched in every golden sunrise and every purple dusk
Always hoping she’d turn up
Once, my unicorn girl was made of dreams
I’d fall to my knees
I’d beg her, lover, please
Show up for me
One starstruck night
Lost and found, there she was
Laughter in the pouring rain
Fixing all my forgotten pain
With emerald eyes that shine
She’s mine
The loneliness gone
With her in my arms, I’m where I belong
My star-crossed lover
My unicorn girl
We dance until late and it’s the most magical night of my life. Because I’m Stella Juliet Bell Tucker and I get to keep him.
Kade takes me to Key West for our honeymoon and we spend a week at Gage and Luna’s new spa and resort. It’s fabulous.
Kade’s newest tattoo is my name, in my own handwriting, which for some reason he loves, inked right over his heart. With a unicorn next to it.
And five months after our wedding I give birth to a baby girl. We name her Adeline Pearl Bell Tucker. She has white-blond hair, like Kade did when he was very young, and bright green eyes exactly the same color as mine.
Kade is absolutely smitten. He won’t allow her to cry herself to sleep or fuss at all and I sometimes tell him he’ll spoil her too much but he says that’s impossible. He says spoiling the two of us is the only thing he cares about and that’s all he’s ever going to do.
We spend most of our time at the house in Franklin but we also regularly visit New York, where we can see my parents, and New Orleans, where Summer and Sam came to visit us and Kade and Sam had their first gig together. Sam just put out his first record. Partly because he’s credited with co-writing a song on Kade’s newest album but also because he has a beautiful voice and he layers his sound with harmonies on his double bass, which I’m convinced he’s a genius at, he’s already had a million downloads.
I finished my book and sent it out to my dream literary agent—who offered to represent me on the very same day I sent the email. One week after that, there was a bidding war between publishers and the book sold for a million dollars . I couldn’t believe that. I’m well-aware it could have something to do with my brand new last name, but they genuinely seemed very excited about the story too. The book’s sex scenes were described as “smokin’ hot” and “authentic”—maybe because ... well, I’ve done my research. And I know how lust at first sight with the true love of your life actually feels. I gave the money to Kade’s foundation, which I’m now one of the directors of. Two weeks after that, my book got picked up by Netflix and is going to be made into a movie. I know Kade played a hand in that part because he called his friend who’s a producer, but he insists the rest was all me. I’m not entirely sure either way, but what I do know is that Kade was right: when you start being true to yourself, it’s a lot easier to achieve the things you want to achieve, and best of all, to be comfortable in your own skin.
They’re already asking for the next book.
I often think about the kismet behind our own story and all the details that had to line up perfectly to make our chance encounter happen. The adoption agency letter that made my decision. Theo’s proposal that spurred my need to leave. The Airbnb host not answering their doorbell. All of it. And how every piece of my soul is so overwhelmingly thankful that I didn’t miss him.
I never did end up leaving a review for the Airbnb host. I wasn’t charged for it and there were no messages. I was almost tempted to write a thank you note. Thank you for not answering your door that night. Because of you, I ran into the love of my life right there on the street outside your door. In the end, it felt best to leave it, and to just appreciate that Kade’s stars and my own, for whatever reason, were perfectly aligned on that rainy night in Nashville.
When Addie is seven months old, I find out I’m pregnant again.
We name our second daughter Savannah Grace, after both our mothers. It was only then that I realized that Adeline’s name is so similar to Madeline’s. Maybe it was a subconscious tribute to her, after not knowing where she was for so long, and finally finding her.
Savannah’s hair is a pale, coppery red—we have no idea where that came from, although Madeline once mentioned her mother’s hair tinted red in the sunlight—with ringlet curls, and her eyes are a bright blue-green. Like Jack’s. Their color changes with her moods. She’s full of mischief and has a definite twinkle in her eye. Kade is so tightly wound around her little finger it makes me laugh sometimes. It seems she’s inherited Kade’s musical talent because she became obsessed with her miniature guitar before she even learned how to talk and started picking out little tunes, which charmed her father to no end. They play together all the time and he’s teaching her, but she has her own flair which he’s nurturing and encouraging.
My mother and Madeline have struck up a unique friendship and I love this. All those old questions are gone now and I’m thankful. I used to feel like I stood out from the crowd for all the wrong reasons, that I’d been abandoned, or unwanted. Now I feel like I was given a lucky score, of two families, who now feel like one. Sam and Madeline even spent last Christmas with us.
Jack’s story that he wrote for me is finished. It’s a sad one and it explains so much. I asked him if Madeline could read it and he said he wouldn’t mind. Last I heard, she’d gotten in touch with him after she finished it, they talked for a long time and he invited her to visit him in Houston.
Carmen not only fulfilled her community service but became a major benefactor of several of the homeless shelters she worked at. Through the lawyers, she wrote me a letter thanking me for not sending her to jail, apologizing for everything, and telling me that her community service completely changed her outlook on life. For her sake, I hope that’s true. Apparently she’s dating another Nashville musician and the two of them recently got engaged.
Two years after Savannah, we have a son named Kade Jacob Jr. The name is a good fit because he’s the spitting image of his father, with the same blue, soulful eyes. We call him KJ, which was Kade’s childhood nickname. He spends all his time with his pencils and his pad of paper. Even though he can’t quite write the alphabet yet, he fills up his papers with scribbled lines like he sees in books. He tells us convoluted stories of pirates, dinosaurs and spaceships, or some combination of all three. He adores being read to. And banging on Vaughn’s drums like there’s no tomorrow. He’s my little shadow and he follows me wherever I go.
Now, it’s late and I’m in bed with KJ at my breast. He’ll be two in a few months, but it’s his favorite bedtime ritual and he’s so cuddly and sweet I can’t bear to give it up, especially since there were complications with KJ’s birth that might mean I can’t have more children.
Kade comes in after putting the girls to bed and lifts our sleeping son. “I want mommy,” KJ whispers in his sleep, but he doesn’t wake and Kade carries him to bed.
Kade returns, and he closes our bedroom door and climbs into bed with me. “I want mommy,” he says, nuzzling my breasts. “I love my wife.” He draws my nipple into his mouth, fastening around the taut bud.
I push at his head. I don’t know why he loves doing this, but there’s no dislodging him. He’s holding me down, suckling on me, pulling tenderly with his mouth. The sensation is indescribable.
“I love you,” he’s murmuring. “Your face, your hair, your eyes. I love you. All of you. Your body. Your heart. Everything, everything.”
He kisses a line down my stomach and I’m self-conscious now about my stretch marks and the scar from the surgery I had to have with KJ. None of my pregnancies were easy ones, and each birth left me with new battle scars. Like Kade always said, life will give you as much angst as you can handle. The morning sickness, the emergency surgery, the early arrival of Savannah at only thirty-four weeks and her month-long stint in the hospital.
Kade absorbed all the angst, beaming it back out as the purest kind of support I ever could have asked for. He’s so there for me, so in love with me, so much my shoulder to lean on.
He kisses each scar, despite my attempts to push him away.
“ Mine ,” he growls. “You’re more beautiful to me now than you’ve ever been, darlin’. You’re the most perfect creature who ever walked this earth. My love. My life.”
So instead of pushing him away, I just let him love me, as he insists on doing. Every imperfection and every flaw. He never seems to see any of them. He never has.
He peels off my panties and I can feel the hot, silky bulk of him as he slides his big cock against the skin of my thigh, seeking, finding, using his own moisture to wet me as he sinks his thickness deep inside me.
Fully possessing me, he gazes down into my eyes. “Have I told you how much I love you yet today?”
In fact he has. Many times. Like he does every day. “You’re my star-crossed soul mate, Kade Tucker. My Nashville dream.”
He kisses me as he thrusts deep and fills me with his magic. “And you’re my unicorn girl. You’re the one. You were always the one.”