Chapter 21
21
Nate and I say goodnight to Dakota—who scolds me for hardly spending any time with her , the Boone I came to visit.
“What does he have that I don’t have?” she jokes, then quickly realizes her gaffe. “Wait. Do not answer that question.”
I give her a hug. “Thank you, Dee. For making this happen tonight. For showing me.”
“What did you think of our boys?” Her question is lightly cautious, as Nate goes to find Daisy’s bag.
“I think your boys are all going to be superstars, that’s what I think.”
Her green eyes are bright. “Really?”
“Absolutely really. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this, Dakota.”
“I mean, would you ever consider taking them on?”
“Of course I would. Before someone else discovers them and beats me to it.”
Her hands hold her face. “I can’t believe it.”
“Well, believe it, girl. All three of them have the kind of X factor that sells records like nobody’s business. Tomorrow we can all sit down and talk it through. I’ll go through my offer and the steps we need to take, then we’ll start making a plan.”
“Oh my god. Thank you, Rox.”
“Thank you . I only wish you’d called me out here sooner.” I see Nate coming back, Daisy nearly asleep on his shoulder and a pink bag in his hand. “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
Another long, genuine hug. One thing about the Boone family is they know to freaking hug .
It’s then that I notice a man standing back from us, sipping on his beer and watching the band. He keeps glancing over at Dakota, like he’s waiting for her.
“Who’s that?” He’s tall and good-looking with dark hair flicking out from under a cowboy hat. “Is that him ? The rodeo hero from Montana?”
“I don’t know if he’s a rodeo hero . And nothing’s happened. We’ve just been talking, that’s all.”
“He’s hot , Dee.”
“ Shh . Nate’s coming back.”
“Okay, I better go, sweetie. Have fun tonight. Good luck with Mr. Montana.”
She laughs. “Thanks. Goodnight, Rox. Love you. ”
“Love you too.”
Nate and I make a quiet exit from the hoedown, which is starting to rev up a few gears as the second half of the evening gets underway.
Daisy’s eyes barely open as she’s buckled into her car seat. Before we’ve even pulled out of the lodge’s parking lot, she’s fast asleep.
“I have a whole lot of things I need to talk to you about, Boone.” But first things first. I ask the question gently. “Who is she?”
A sideways glance and a low not-quite-laugh. It’s a few seconds before he answers. Is there anything sexier than Nate Boone’s suntanned, muscular, hair-dusted forearms as he grips the steering wheel? I don’t think so. “No one you need to worry about, darlin’.”
“Please be honest with me. I want to know who she is.”
He sighs. “She’s someone who wanted a whole lot more than I was ever willing to give.”
“What’s her name?”
“I can’t remember.”
I give him a look. “Don’t bullshit me, Boone.”
“The thing is, Tuck, it doesn’t matter what her name is.”
“When’s the last time you saw her?”
“I saw her tonight.”
His dark eyes are glittering in the darkness. He loves my jealousy. “Before tonight.”
For a second I think he’s pretending to mull it over. But then he says, “Six and a half months ago to the day. We had dinner.”
I’m a little surprised by how precise he is about it. “You had dinner?”
“Yes.”
“Then what?”
Another sigh, and this time it’s heavier. “Rox, do you have any idea where you were that night, six and a half months ago to the day?”
“What does that have to do with it?”
“Do you know where you were?” he asks again. Almost patiently but not quite.
“No. On tour. I can’t remember where exactly.”
“You were in Denver.”
“How…do you know that?”
“Because I followed your tour schedules.”
“Why?”
“So I knew where you were.”
“The band?”
“Nope. You.”
His cryptic answers are confusing me. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
Silence.
“Nate?”
“There were a lot of nights I thought about showing up. Just knocking on your hotel door in whatever random city you were in and seeing your face when you opened it.” He’s quiet for a few seconds. “A lot of nights. But never more than the night she and I had dinner. It was that night I decided I’d track you down and tell you how I felt. Because I was so fed up with feeling so empty when I was supposed to feel…something. Anything. And I just didn’t. I just never fucking did.”
“You…didn’t?”
“No.”
“Why didn’t you come find me?”
“Your next three shows were going to be at Red Rocks. I was going to come to Red Rocks.”
“Nate. Why didn’t you?”
“That’s what I was doing when I got the call. I was booking the ticket.”
“What call?”
“That was the night the accident happened.”
The accident.
Jed and Laney’s accident.
At the realization, my hand flutters to cover my mouth.
“Things got real complicated after that. I don’t think I’ve come up for air since. Not until you walked into the kitchen the other night. Then there was suddenly more air than I knew how to breathe.”
“I’m sorry.”
He pulls the truck up to the house and turns off the engine. His eyes are dark in the moonlight. “Don’t be sorry, darlin’. Just don’t go accusing me of loving anyone else. Because it’s just never going to be true.”
I feel almost stricken with love for him. Here I was, walking along my whole life, minding my own business and secretly pining for a lost boy I once loved, only to be swept away by a tidal wave of everything I never thought to even wish for.
“We good, then?”
“I think we’re more than good, Boone.”
A slow grin flashes. “Come on. Let’s get the exhausted little princess into bed. Then I’ve got some plans for you.”
Nate carefully lifts Daisy out of the truck. I follow him up to her room with her bag. We take off her shoes and her little glittery pink jacket and tuck her into bed. Nate kisses her head and makes sure all three of her nightlights are on.
Then he takes me by the hand and leads me back to his room.
He locks the door and switches on the baby monitor that’s next to the bed. “So I can hear her if she wakes up.”
He comes over to me in the low light. We’re quiet and it’s a relief, after all the raucous activity of the day. His room is a luxurious haven.
Nate slides his warm hand around the nape of my neck. His dark head bends and he eases his mouth over mine. His mouth shifts, catching at my top lip, then the lower one, opening me. His tenderness, with the dark, heavy lust simmering just behind it, makes me go shamelessly wet.
“You had quite an ace up your sleeve tonight, Boone.” I look up into his whiskey-fire eyes and see everything I’ve ever wanted. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what? That I sing every now and then? ”
“‘Sing every now and then’? Nate, you’re a major talent. I want you to let me take you on.”
“You can take me on any time you want, darlin’. Starting right now.”
“You know what I mean—” My phone dings. Damn it. I reach over the back of the couch to my bag, pulling out my phone. Another message from Travis. “I know for a fact they have better things to do.” I turn my phone off.
“I’m sure the hoedown is lighting up with the news that we snuck off together.”
Nate’s hand is on my back. He gently but firmly bends me over. He lifts the hem of my dress, pulling it up and easing it over my head. His hands are on my thighs, sliding up, and it feels so good I moan, arching my back a little.
He rips my panties and the shred of lace falls to the floor. If I wasn’t so damn turned on, I’d laugh. “Did you just?—?”
“Quiet,” he growls. I bite my lip as he forces my legs wider. My back arches further. I feel his strong, warm hands slide higher, exploring silkily. Opening me. He circles, dipping his fingers into the moisture, until I’m squirming along with his movement. His rough fingertips skate over my clit.
Nate kneels behind me and I feel his tongue . I give myself to him completely, letting him do anything he wants to me. He eats into me hungrily, feasting like a starving man as his fingers tease my clit. He pushes his tongue deep, playing, stroking, rubbing, forcing the pleasure to an overpowering swell that breaks into tumbling spasms.
And still, he eats me like he can’t get enough, until the waves start to calm.
Then he lifts me, turning me and taking me in his arms as he kisses me again. I slowly push him backward until we’re almost on the bed. I fumble with his buttons, needing him, running my fingers over his warm cinnamon skin.
I undo the button of his jeans, easing the zip down, reaching in to grip him, running my fist along the huge, hard length, using my fingers to circle the broad, slippery tip. “I need you,” I whisper.
His belt buckle thunks on the plush carpet as he jeans fall to the floor.
Nate leans back on the bed, pulling me along with him until I’m straddling him. “Climb on up, darlin’. Ride my big cock like a good girl.”
He raises my arms and guides me to grip the top of his oak headboard.
Nate stares into my eyes until I’m drowning in him. His breath is warm against my lips. “Hold on,” he commands me.
And then he grips his hot, engorged cock and positions me, sliding thickly into my slippery, still-quivering pussy as I sit down onto him, taking all of him by slow degrees. He’s so freaking big and hot, I’m already coming again from the thick-skewering pleasure, feeling every ridge as he forces me to take all of it, and again, deeper, harder .
My orgasm milks him as he roots himself to the hilt, over and over, his thumb stroking my clit. I’m raised and lifted, holding on for dear life, wondering if I can survive another shattering release.
And another, washing through me with fresh, shimmering heat.
He belongs to me. He’s mine. I know it. I feel it in every throb and every groan.
I’m riding him, dazed by the sheer magnitude of feeling, when he grips me and growls, his cock bucking and surging in violent pulses that set me off again , filling my body and soul with heat and love and life.
He pulls me down to kiss him. It’s forceful, and I can taste his desperation. “ Roxie. Roxie.”
“It’s okay. I’m here, Boone. I love you .”
Mommy. Daddy. Where are you?
From deep within my dream, I wonder if it’s me calling out, like I used to do. How could they just disappear like that? How could they just be gone ? Forever?
“ Uncle Nate. Uncle Nate.”
My eyes open at the same time as Nate’s.
“Shit,” he murmurs, climbing out of bed and hastily pulling on jeans and a t-shirt. “She’s having a nightmare. I’ll be back.”
I can hear Daisy’s sobs through the monitor, and Nate’s, deep, husky, soothing voice. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay. I’m here now.” He sounds so sad, because she is.
I get out of bed. In the low light I manage to find a clean pair of panties in my bag. I grab a white button-down shirt of Nate’s that’s slung over the back of a chair, that hangs almost to my knees.
I go down to Daisy’s room and lightly tap on the open door. I don’t want to intrude, but I sense that he might need me. I wonder if maybe I can help a little. I know what it feels like. I remember the things people said to me that made it almost more bearable.
Daisy’s in her tent and Nate’s lying next to her, with his long legs mostly out of the tent. A small lamp inside the tent fills it with soft golden light. There are piles of cushiony pillows and blankets. Daisy’s tucked in snugly.
“Miss Roxie,” Daisy sniffles. “Do you want to come into my tent with us?”
“Is that okay?”
“Yes. Here.” She pats some pillows next to her. “You can be next to me.”
I climb inside and lay next to her and I can see that the inside of the tent has been decorated with hanging homemade glittery stars. And with photos. Of Daisy’s parents. Of the three of them together. And of Nate too, laughing with Jed when they were young. There’s the same photo that’s framed in the hallway, of Nate holding Daisy when she was a baby, with Jed and Laney in the background. “This is such a beautiful tent. ”
“We always come in here after I have nightmares,” Daisy tells me earnestly, fresh tears filling her very-blue eyes. “We put pictures up so I can remember them. I don’t want to forget them.”
“You won’t.” I smooth a strand of her hair back from her damp little face. “Did I ever tell you that I lost my parents too? Exactly the same way you did?”
Her breath hitches. “You did?”
“I did. And you know what? I never, ever forgot them. Because I know they’re always right here.” I put my hand over my heart. “I can feel them. In the beat of my heart.”
Daisy puts her hand over her own heart. “Here?”
“Yeah. Right there.”
She’s quiet for a few seconds, concentrating. “ I can feel them too ,” she whispers.
“They’ll always be there. They’ll always be a part of you.”
Nate’s holding Daisy’s hand, watching me. Thank you , he mouths silently.
More tears wet Daisy’s cheeks and she turns to Nate. “But what if I can’t stay with you, Uncle Nate?” She’s crying harder now. “What if I have to go live with Aunt Amanda? We don’t even like her. My Mommy said she’s mean .”
“Hey,” Nate croons, wiping her tears. “That’s not going to happen, sweetheart. Who told you that?”
“I heard Grandma Lou talking to Grandma Betty-Ann. They didn’t know I was listening. But I was. I don’t want to go to Ohio. I like it here . What if I have to go there and I have a nightmare and you’re not there .” She sobs like her little heart is breaking.
Nate looks like his heart is breaking right alongside hers. He gently turns her face toward his and wipes more of her tears. “Daisy. Sweetheart. You don’t need to worry about that for a single second. I’m going to make sure you can stay here forever, honey, you know that. We’re going to get you a pony for your birthday and some pink cowgirl boots and Aunt Dakota is already planning your birthday party at the pool. Uncle Tobias is going to make you a pink cake with pink candles. You and your friends can take turns riding your pony and it’ll be the best party ever. Okay?”
Daisy sniffles, nodding. “Okay.”
“So no more worrying about that. You’re staying here, end of story. Tomorrow we’re going to go down to the school and sign you up for first grade and Harper and all your friends from kindergarten will be in your class. I’ll be there every day to pick you up from school and you’ll live with me and that’s that.”
“Harper already signed up for first grade,” Daisy sniffs. “Two weeks ago.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Nate’s furrow between his eyebrow shows up. The weight-of-the-world one. Like maybe he was supposed to do that but things got busy and it somehow got overlooked. “We’ll make sure we do it tomorrow, it’ll be fine. Now, how about we read Where the Wild Things Are and we’ll sleep right here in your tent, all together, you, me and Miss Roxie. We’ll make sure you don’t have any more nightmares tonight. How does that sound?”
“Good,” she says with another hitch of her breath.
Nate tucks her blanket around her more securely and he lays one over me too. Daisy’s holding Nate’s hand and she reaches for mine. And it’s strange, because right then, one of the pieces of me that shattered on a rainy Tuesday night a long time ago feels like the fissure has somehow healed. And I fall more deeply in love with this brokenhearted little girl.
We all have broken hearts, all three of us. And somehow, the jagged, broken pieces have arranged themselves in a way that hinges us together. I think we all feel it. We’re stronger together than we are apart.
“I’ll stay with you forever,” she whispers.
“Forever,” Nate whispers back, his eyes holding mine.
Nate starts reading and, soon, Daisy’s eyes start to close. I kiss her cheek and lightly play with her hair.
“My Mommy used to do that,” she murmurs softly.
Nate gets to the end of the book and Daisy’s nearly asleep.
“Miss Roxie?” she coos, her eyes still closed.
“Yeah?”
“I wish you could be my new Mommy.”
I’m still stroking her silky hair in feather-light strokes and I hear myself whisper, “Me too. ”
“Then I would be happy and Uncle Nate wouldn’t be so lonely.”
Her breathing gets deeper. Nate turns off the lamp. The princess nightlights give off a low glow.
We’re still holding Daisy’s hands, gazing at each other in our little cocoon in the darkness, listening to Daisy’s soft, even breathing.
It’s too quiet to hear but I read his lips.
I love you .