Chapter 26
26
It’s late now. We got Daisy home and cleaned up and Nate took her down to the school as Travis, Vaughn and I finished cleaning up the house.
My brothers left to go see Aunt Lou and Uncle Earl for a few hours before heading back to Travis’s country house, where they were going to pick up Ruby and Gigi and drive into the city to see Kade. No one’s heard from him in a few days and they wanted to check in on him before going to a gig they wanted to see. I joked that their favorite hobby seems to be barging in on everyone’s love lives, but they just said it’s because they care. Our hugs felt different when they left. Like we’re somehow equals now instead of just big brothers and a little sister. And like we love each other more every day .
Daisy’s tucked in, asleep. I helped her lay out her school outfit and we packed her backpack with the school supplies she and Nate picked up on their way home.
Nate tried calling Ainsley Beal a few more times but it went straight to voicemail. I can tell he’s on edge, but tomorrow he’ll meet with her and explain whatever it was she didn’t understand.
We’re sitting in the hot tub on his bedroom’s deck, the bubbles fizzing around our shoulders. “What a job,” I muse. “Going around judging people and making assumptions about their lives. She hardly even stepped inside.”
“I’m sure her intentions are good. I think she just got the wrong impression.”
“The part she didn’t see is that Daisy’s living her best life under the circumstances. A sticky face after a birthday party and a hoedown while wearing your favorite outfit is a good thing, not a bad one.”
“Yeah. We know that. I just need to make sure Ainsley Beal does too.”
I’m laying on his lap in an underwater molded lounger with his arms around me, his body flush against mine, warm and hard underneath me. His finger twirls a long curl absent-mindedly. “Nate?”
“Yeah?”
“I really, really meant it when I said I wanted to take you on. Your music career, I mean.”
“I don’t have a music career. ”
“But you so easily could. Will you let me manage you? Please? You can’t say no. You’re too good.”
I feel his chuckle more than hear it, if that’s what it is. “One day. When there’s time.”
I turn over so I’m on top of him, facing him. Straddling him. “It’s something you should make time for, Boone. I can help you. Please let me. I’m going to offer to manage Luke and Leo too. They’re good enough, Nate. I really think you could all be hugely successful.”
“You should offer it to them.”
“But what about you? We can figure it out together. You could hire some help for your contracting business. Find some local guys who can step up and help you run it without being so involved in the day-in, day-out stuff. What about Shane?”
“What do you expect me to do, Rox, take off on tour for months on end? That’s not really something that can happen right now.”
“You could do local shows. Start with Nashville.”
He’s quiet, still twirling a lock of my hair.
“I have to go back tomorrow,” I tell him gently. “I’ve got a meeting with a new artist I’m taking on. She’s flying up from Austin.”
“Why don’t I drive you in.”
“I have a few other things to take care of too. I’ve offered to take on another new artist as well. Her name’s Ivy Laine. She lives in New York. I’ll probably have to go and meet with her at some point soon. ”
More silence.
“Nate?”
“What do you want me to say, Roxie? Go to Nashville? Go to New York? Take on ten new artists so there’s no time for anything else? Leave us behind and don’t come back?”
It’s not what I was expecting him to say. But he’s got a point. “I’ll come back. Of course I will.”
“When?”
“When…I can.”
“Well, that’s not really good enough, is it?” He’s pissed off now.
I climb off him and sit next to him. “Why are you mad? We knew we’d have to figure this out. I can’t just move in, like, right now.”
“Why not?”
“Well, because I have a job and a life in Nashville. And because…” I saw the way Ainsley Beal looked at me, dressed in his shirt and very little else. Like I was some kind of hussy who would no doubt be a terrible influence on Daisy. It doesn’t matter that she’s wrong about all of that. What matters is that her point of view holds so much weight in this situation. The thought of Nate losing Daisy because of me is one I can’t tolerate. “I have a job and a life in Nashville,” I say again.
“So, that’s it?” he fumes. “You’re leaving to go back to your life in Nashville? What about what happened here this weekend?”
“It was…perfect. Of course it was. But it doesn’t mean I ca n just not go back to all the responsibilities I have and the people who are relying on me. You know that better than anyone.”
He stands up, getting out of the hot tub with a splash, and wrapping a towel around his waist. “Okay, then. See you later. Have fun in Nashville.”
I follow him, grabbing the other towel and wrapping it around me. “Nate. Why are you acting like this? I told you I had a meeting. I can come back in a few days. Or…soon.” I actually have meetings all week and into the weekend, but right now doesn’t seem the best time to tell him that.
“Fine, Rox. Maybe I’ll see you in another eight years. Just make sure you give me a call when you find out I knocked you up this weekend since we spent the entire time having raw dog sex like there’s no tomorrow.”
His rage catches me off guard. “What do you expect from me, Boone? To just leave everything behind to move in with you and forget that I have a career and a life that I’ve spent a long time working my ass off to create? I have to figure out how it’s going to work. And I will. But it might take some time.”
Nate dries himself off and gets into bed, his body big and insanely…hard, even though we’re arguing, if that’s what we’re doing. The sheet barely covers him. “I don’t expect anything from you. Just forget that we finally found each other again after eight fucking years. Forget that we told each other we loved each other. Forget that we might have created a baby . But, hey, no big fucking deal. You go back to your life . Goodnight, Rox.” He closes his eyes.
I sit on the bed, the towel still wrapped around me. “Nate. We can talk about this. We can make a plan. I said I would try to start delegating. And so did you.”
His eyes open. “Except that there are certain things I can’t delegate. Daisy’s starting school tomorrow. I’m on the verge of losing her. Especially if I don’t do everything I can to make sure she has a stable life and a routine. Which is here, Roxie. Unless I have to move to fucking Ohio because I lose custody so I can make sure she’s okay. I can cut back on my work hours if that’s what you want me to do. And I’m going to have to do that anyway. Shane’s a good idea. I’ll talk to him. But I can’t move to Nashville. Not right now.”
I nod, tears pricking behind my eyes at the sorrow in him. I lay down next to him. “I know. I’m sorry. I want to be with you, Nate, of course I do. I just…I don’t want me being here to have any kind of negative influence on Ainsley Beal’s decision.”
“What do you mean? Why would it?”
“I feel like there were certain things that were obvious. And that she didn’t approve of them. Or of me.”
Nate exhales a laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “Are you serious? Roxie. You’re a superstar, a shining gem of a human being and the kind of success story someone like Ainsley Beal could only aspire to. Plus Daisy adores you. It goes without saying that I’m on my fucking knees for you. We’ve spent too long letting other people get in the way of us. The last thing I’m going to let happen now is for Ainsley Fucking Beal to get in the way of us. You let me handle Ainsley Beal. Okay?”
“Okay,” I say softly.
“Roxie, I love you. I want to marry you. I want you to move in and I want to live with you and give you babies and grow old together. That’s what I want. What I don’t want is to waste any more time. I’ve done enough of that.”
The thing is, he’s right. I wasn’t expecting it when I drove out here this weekend. To never leave. Or to never want to leave. But sometimes things happen for a reason. Sometimes, the timing feels just right. “You know what I want, Boone?”
“What?”
“I want to figure out how to make this work so much that I know we will. We’re both going to start delegating a little more and I’m going to figure out how to spend more and more time here. Because it’s where I want to be. And stay. And live. With you.” I slowly lower the sheet. “You know what else I want?”
“What,” he rasps.
I let my towel fall open. “I want you to agree to let me manage you. Because you’re that good and you know you’re that good.” I ease my fist around his thick length, gently sliding my fingers over the moisture seeping from him as he gets fully hard. “What did you build your own recording studio for if you never wanted to use it, Boone, tell me that. ”
“We’ll see,” he groans.
“No. We’re not going to ‘see’. All you have to do is say yes. Say it.” I touch my tongue to him, licking playfully. Flicking my tongue. Teasing him. “Say, ‘yes, Roxie, I’ll let you manage me.’”
“Okay.” The word is low and husky.
“Yes?”
“ Yes .” It’s more of a growl than an answer, but I’ll take it.
“Good boy. I’m going to reward you for that.” I take more of him into my mouth, sucking and playing, then slowly releasing him. “You know what else I want?”
“What?”
“Your babies.”
Nate’s eyes are dark. With oceans of emotion.
I lick him again, coyly. “I mean, you are the love of my life, I’ve always known that. And a girl doesn’t not want to get down and dirty and knocked up by the man of her dreams, especially when he’s this freaking hot and well-hung, come on. And especially when he’s the one she’s been holding out for all this time.”
Nate holds me and rolls me over, his heavy weight above me. His cock slides barely into me. But then he holds himself still. “Marry me, Tuck.”
I blink up at him and I can’t hold back my smile or my tears. “Yes,” I whisper. “I’ll marry you, Boone.”
He kisses me and drives all the way inside me, the thick- skewering bulk of him forcing me to take everything. To feel everything. To drown in the pleasure of him.
There’s a desperation to this lovemaking. We feel our losses and our fears. But we also feel the beauty of this life and the gift we’ve been given. Of finding each other again. Of diving in with everything we’ve got.
And never letting go.