Chapter 9
Brooke was not okay. Somehow her evening had gone from peaceful to her lying in bed next to Drew.
If only she had thought to call Emily. Surely Em and Scarlett wouldn’t have minded her sleeping on their couch.
Now it was too late. There was no way to make a polite exit.
Beside her Drew breathed quietly as she slept.
Brooke almost smiled at the sound but she forced herself to notice other things.
The tattoos that weaved their way around Drew’s arms. Flowers and vines that somehow tied together seamlessly.
She’d never noticed how beautiful Drew’s tattoos were.
She’d also never truly appreciated how attractive Drew was.
As she lay there Brooke took note of the lines of Drew’s cheekbones, her angular face, the softness of her features.
Drew was a knockout, no wonder Robin had been so eager to snatch the woman up. Not that she could blame Robin.
Brooke had given herself a hard time since the night she and Drew kissed.
There had been an opening. A moment for something deeper to form between them, but Brooke had shut things down.
She had smothered the spark before the flame could grow.
It was hard not to feel creepy checking Drew out while she slept.
Brooke forced herself to turn onto her side, even though she was an avid back sleeper.
Brooke must have slept because she woke up to the sound of Drew in the kitchen. Their apartments had the same basic layout. The living room was the room you stepped into from the front door, then the kitchen was part of an open concept. The bathroom and bedroom were down a tiny hallway.
Brooke could hear the light morning scufflings of someone preparing for their day.
She smiled to herself, there was something strangely intimate about waking up in Drew’s bed.
She made her way down the hall and into the kitchen, then froze.
Drew stood in her kitchen wearing bright yellow shorts and an oversized black Led Zeppelin t-shirt.
The yellow shorts didn’t leave much to Brooke’s imagination, though that didn’t stop her brain from trying.
“Morning,” Drew called out cheerfully.
Too cheerfully. How was she in this good of a mood first thing in the morning? The confusion must have shown on her face because Drew chuckled at her expression.
“I’m sorry. Good morning,” Brooke smiled.
“What was that face for?” Drew asked teasingly.
“I was just wondering how you’re this happy first thing in the morning?”
“Everyday that I wake up I’ve already succeeded at staying alive. So, I start out ahead of the game.”
Brooke gave a low chuckle.
“I guess I’ve never thought about it like that. But I like that way of looking at it.”
“How did you sleep? I hope I didn’t snore,” Drew said.
“No snoring as far as I could tell. I slept well.”
“Good. I hope the landlord can get someone out here to fix your pipe today.”
“Me, too.”
Brooke pulled out her phone. She had tried calling their landlord last night but hadn’t gotten a response. This morning she was relieved to see that she already had a text message from him.
“He sent me a text. He says that someone should be over to look at it this morning.” Brooke couldn’t cover the relief she felt.
“That’s good. Hopefully, it’s an easy fix.”
“I hope so. I’m sure you don’t want to share your space with me one second longer than you have to.”
The words came out as a tease, but even Brooke couldn’t disguise the hidden truth to them.
“What do you mean? It was fine for you to stay here last night,” Drew answered.
“I know, and you were very generous. I just meant with everything else that’s happened between us, it might be awkward for you to have me here.”
Brooke held her breath. She hoped that she hadn’t taken one step too far over an imaginary line of comfort.
“You mean the kiss?” Drew asked. Brooke could swear there was a slight change in Drew’s tone. The deepening hint of a rasp.
“The kiss is definitely part of it. I just mean that I think I’ve made things weird between us. Even though that’s not at all what I wanted.”
“We should bury the hatchet. You’ve seen me in my Led Zeppelin shirt. Surely, we can be friends,” Drew laughed.
“I would like that,” Brooke answered. She met Drew’s eyes and took in all the different shades of warmth inside them.
“You kissed me, and you didn’t like it. No big deal,” Drew said, her tone teasing.
“I never said that I didn’t like it.”
The words escaped before Brooke could shove them back inside. Drew’s eyes widened, searching Brooke’s own.
“So, you’re saying that you liked our kiss?
” Drew was clearly searching for answers.
Brooke felt her heart shift even slightly more towards Drew.
As if her heart was being pulled by a force outside of her control.
She’d have an easier time fighting gravity than her own heart.
Brooke wished she could run. But her home was flooded and she didn’t have the energy to run from Drew any longer.
“I did. I liked it very much,” Brooke answered.
“Then why pull away?”
“I. Well, I,” Brooke began to speak, but the rest of her words stopped lodged in her own throat.
“Why do you always shut me down when I get close?” Drew tried. There was so much searching in her eyes and longing in her tone that Brooke could feel her walls crumble.
“Because you scare me,” Brooke said simply. She sat at the kitchen counter. Neither of them broke eye contact. Both looking for something inside the other. An answer. A missing piece.
“Do you think we could talk that over a bit?”
Drew’s gentleness took her off guard. Brooke couldn’t offer more than a nod of her head.
Drew smiled and sat on the seat next to hers.
Brooke fought the urge to run. The feeling of dread sent overwhelm coursing through every nerve in her body.
Brooke steeled herself. This wasn’t the kind of conversation that was casual for her.
Everything inside of her felt too raw and exposed.
A wound that had never closed. Drew rested a hand on Brooke’s arm.
The gesture provided Brooke with a small level of comfort. She sucked in a breath and tried again.
“For some people love is a magical or comforting thing,” Brooke began.
“But not for you?” Drew offered.
“I want it to be. But no. For me love is scary. You give someone else the power to hurt you. And in theory that won’t happen because it’ll be true love.
You’ll love that person and they’ll love you just as much.
So they won’t leave you, or betray you, or hurt you,” Brooke paused long enough to meet Drew’s eyes.
“But humans are messy,” Drew smiled sadly.
“Exactly. Humans are messy and loving someone means allowing the likelihood of pain in. I’ve just seen the ups and downs within my own family. And honestly, why would I allow someone else to have that kind of power in my life? Why invite that kind of pain in?”
“I could say something cliche about love being worth it in the end. But the truth is that I don’t really have an answer.
You’re not wrong, to love someone does mean opening yourself up to a certain amount of pain.
We all get scars to carry through life. With the right person I think hopefully the pain is a little less. ”
Drew met Brooke’s beautiful blue eyes and smiled.
“I would like for that to be true,” Brooke returned her smile.
“You’re never going to know if you’re too afraid to open your heart up to someone,” Drew chuckled. Brooke rolled her eyes and scoffed.
“So what is it about me that makes you nervous?” Drew asked. This time her tone caught the slightest hint of seriousness.
“You’re just too real.”
“I’m too real?” Drew questioned.
“Everything about you is so genuine. You’re too sweet, too wonderful, and frankly too gorgeous. I know if I let myself that I could fall for you, hard. For someone like me that’s a scary thought.”
Drew nodded her head understanding.
“I feel that way about you, too,” Drew insisted.
“You do?” Brooke questioned.
“I do,” Drew answered.
“But you were still willing to take a chance on me? That night in the car, you kissed me too,” Brooke searched Drew’s gorgeous hazel eyes, hoping to find the answers to all her questions.
“I felt like you were worth the fall,” Drew managed to say.
They were each leaning in so close that their lips were practically touching.
Brooke could feel the electric shock coming from Drew’s lips to her own.
Drew had said that Brooke was worth the fall.
The question rang in Brooke’s mind. If she let herself fall, would Drew be there to catch her?
Brooke leaned forward just enough for their lips to brush against each other.
This time she was determined not to pull away first.