14. Dex
Chapter 14
I stop the car at the security gate, roll down my window, and give my name to the guard. He checks down a list, nods, then gives me directions on where to park. The red-and-white striped barrier lifts, allowing me access onto the set. It feels odd being here, especially as I’ve done my best to avoid all things Hollywood since moving to Los Angeles in search of a better life for Mom, and for us to be closer to my sister.
I turn left at the end of the road. A yellow sign with large black lettering that reads ‘Visitors’ tells me I’m in the right place.
Where is Nate, though? He said he’d be here to greet me, but there are only a few people hanging about with clipboards and various filming paraphernalia. Cutting the engine, I sit for a moment and take a few deep breaths. Being invited here by Nate feels like a shift in our relationship, as if the tectonic plates are grinding together, and I’m not sure whether the earth moving beneath my feet is something to cling to or run from.
A tap on my window startles me. Nate’s winter-blue eyes and white-toothed grin peer through the glass before he opens the door.
“Come on, Titch. I’ll show you around.”
I take my keys out of the ignition and climb out of the car. Locking it behind me, I slip my hand inside Nate’s outstretched one. “I’ve never been on a set before.”
Nate begins walking toward a huge building that resembles an aircraft hangar. “It’s not nearly as glamorous as you might think. This job is ninety-five percent hanging around, and five percent acting.”
He pushes open a door and gestures for me to go in first. “Let’s get some caffeine in you and then I’ll take you through to where we’re shooting tonight’s scene.” He strides to the far side of the building, waves at a couple technicians unwinding an enormous reel of cable, then opens another door that leads into a kitchen.
A few people are sitting at a table drinking coffee and chatting. One of them I recognize as Nate’s co-star. I rack my brains trying to remember her name but come up empty. I rarely watch TV and have only tuned into Nate’s show because, well, Nate is in it. If anyone asks me to recall the storylines or who the other actors are, I couldn’t tell them.
“This is Dex,” Nate says. “You fuckers… be nice. She’s coming on set tonight for the shoot.”
“Hey, Dex,” his co-star says. “I’m Sharla. Sadly for me, I have to work with this prick five, sometimes six days a week.”
Nate throws a sugar sachet at Sharla, hitting her on the side of her head. She laughs and throws it back, her aim not nearly as true.
“Ignore her.” Nate flings an arm around my shoulder while pouring coffee into two paper cups with his free hand. “She loves me really.”
Sharla snorts, but her eyes twinkle. I take to her immediately.
I drink my coffee in silence while Nate, Sharla, and the rest of the crew banter back and forth. Once we’ve finished, Nate gets to his feet. “Come on, Titch.” He points his finger at Sharla. “Don’t be late. I want to be out of here by two at the latest.”
She gestures dismissively. “Yeah, yeah.”
Nate leads me around the back of the building. The number of bright lights almost blind me. Although it’s pitch black, it may as well be daytime. Tons of people are wandering about with cameras, microphones, and cables. It’s like a community all of its own.
Nate grabs me a chair and sets it up against a false wall. It isn’t long before he’s called away, so after a final check to ensure I’m okay, he wanders over to who I presume is the director.
I take out my phone and send my sister a text, along with a picture of the set. Not that it will be exciting for Elva. She’s visited many TV and movie sets in the past. Still, it’s nice to share this moment with her. I need to tell her that our money worries are fixed, too—at least for now—although I’m determined to pay Nate back. Accompanying him on a trip to New York that he’s insisting on paying for does not make us equal, whatever he thinks.
I slip my phone into my pocket, but when I look up, I can’t see Nate. An excited buzz goes around as people start moving into position. A tall, thin guy ambles toward a car, holding a huge boom. It looks heavier than him, although he wields it like a pro.
Nate eventually appears with his arm wrapped around Sharla’s waist. She’s looking up at him, her face lit with desire. Nate draws to a halt. His lips move, but I can’t hear his lines from this far away. The director gesticulates, and Nate bends his head, taking Sharla’s mouth in a passionate kiss.
Jealousy slams into me, and my stomach hardens. It doesn’t matter that they’re only acting. I can’t help it. He’s like a book I loaned from the library. Mine to thumb through, to hold, to pore over, but eventually, my time will be up, and I’ll have to return him.
I don’t want to watch him kissing another woman, even if it is make believe, but I find myself staring, almost like watching an accident about to happen. It’s impossible to tear my gaze away.
Then a faint voice yells, “Cut!”
Nate breaks away from Sharla, and the two co-stars share a few words.
From behind the false wall, a guy mentions Nate by name. I hold my breath, my ears on high alert.
“Did you see that girl with Nate? Talk about deviating from his usual fuck.”
A snort, followed by, “Understatement of the century,” from a second guy. “She isn’t tall, nor blonde. Maybe it’s a bet.”
A prickle creeps up my spine, and the hairs spike on the back of my neck.
“Yeah, maybe. Poor cow. I bet she hasn’t got a clue.”
“It’ll have brought Sharla to heel, though. She might be more willing to spread her legs for him now.”
Laughs. Lots of laughs. All at my expense.
I dig my fingernails into my palms. Black and white dots appear in my vision as pure rage surges through me. I barely hear the rest of their conversation because one line keeps playing on repeat.
It’ll have brought Sharla to heel, though.
No wonder that kiss looked so real. That’s because it was fucking real. It seems as though my part in this little charade is to make his co-star jealous. She must be resisting him, and so Nate decided to increase the stakes.
A painful tightness constricts my throat, my breath coming in shallow little gulps, and I scramble to my feet. For one brief moment, I consider storming over to where the director is setting up the next shot and kneeing Nate right in the balls. And when he goes down, maybe stomp on them for good measure. I bet he wouldn’t be able to fuck Sharla, or anyone else, for quite a while after that.
Instead, I quietly slip away. Five minutes later, I reach my car. Relieved I didn’t get lost on the way, I climb inside and take a few moments to rest my head against the steering wheel while I wait for my tears to recede. Quietly, I pull out of the parking lot and head for home, my heart now in tatters.