Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
COLT
So, our first date was a bit of a disaster.
Let me rephrase. The first date was a disaster right up until we said goodbye. Then it turned into the best date of my life. I’m trying to focus on the second part as I make my way up the front steps of Nathan’s house for our second date. This time, things are going to be much better.
How do I know? I spent a lot of time planning. On my phone is a list of potential conversation topics ready to go. I also picked out a movie that will keep us laughing all night. I’m probably going overboard, but I’m not leaving anything to chance. I took how hard it might be to change our friendship for granted. That wouldn’t happen again. Fool me once and all of that.
I also decided we should skip the dinner out. The pressure of being out and acting like we were on a date made us both uncomfortable. We’d work up to it. First, we need privacy to figure things out between us. I won’t complain if it includes a repeat of our heated make-out session. Though it would be nice if we could at least get our pants off this time.
I pause and take a deep breath. Should I knock? He usually leaves the door unlocked so I could let myself in. Is it an invasion of privacy now that we’re dating? If the door was unlocked, I’d take it as an invitation. If not, I’ll knock and wait patiently. Fine, semi-patiently.
I wipe my hands on my jeans and reach for the knob. I test it gingerly at first, and it turns the whole way. As I push it open, I announce myself. Better safe than sorry. Later, I can ask what he prefers. We need a whole conversation about how this relationship thing works anyway.
I should have prepared a different list of conversation topics.
“In the kitchen,” Nathan calls out. I smile as I take off my shoes and hang my coat on the rack by the front door. The scent of warm spices fills the air as I make my way inside. I’d be fine ordering takeout, but I love that Nathan cooks. I’m unsure if he enjoys the process or likes feeding me, but I won’t refuse a home-cooked meal.
“It smells incredible in here.”
Nathan squirms as he stirs the Dutch oven on the stove. “It’s not fancy, but given the rainy weather, I thought a stew would be perfect.” He taps the spoon on the edge several times, sets it aside, then turns and comes toward me. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I don’t overthink it; I pull him close to me and kiss him. I don’t mean it to be more than a quick hello, but he relaxes into me. Even through his minty toothpaste, I can still taste his unique flavor.
Our tongues dance against each other. I slide my hands under his shirt and run my fingers up his back. Nathan presses into the touch and whimpers. His skin is soft and warm. No matter how often I imagine touching him, the fantasy doesn’t live up to the real thing. He’s so pliant in my arms, and I can’t wait to get him naked so I can explore every inch and find every spot I can touch to make him whimper.
Nathan runs a hand through my hair and leaves it on my head, pulling me into him. Fuck, I’ll stay right here all night. I spread my legs a bit and shift until my thigh is between his legs. I can feel his erection pressing against me. God, we’ll never make it to a bed at this rate. I wouldn’t care, but a mattress is preferable to the kitchen floor.
Sadly, the stew bubbles over the top and sizzles as it hits the stovetop. We both pull away as he says, “Oh shit.”
He adjusts his cock and returns to the stove. I stand in place, still panting a little. I still haven’t seen Nathan naked, but I can hardly think of anything else. I don’t want to rush him—I’m happy to wait—but I’ve thought of little else this past week. I’ve jacked off so many times my dick is practically raw.
“So what are we watching tonight?”
“I want to stick with our current theme of old childhood movies, so tonight is 3 Ninjas .”
“I haven’t thought about that movie in so long. I don’t even remember what happens in it.”
I remember watching it together when it first hit VHS. God, we are getting old. “I don’t either, so it’ll be like seeing it for the first time.”
“I’m pretty sure the first time I saw it was with you at a sleepover. I vaguely remember sleeping bags around the living room floor while we tried to recreate the karate moves.”
“That sounds like us. We did that for a lot of those movies. We were terrible at it, too.” I say, shaking my head.
“Nah, we were awesome.”
“We’re still pretty awesome.”
At least we were already off to a better start than the last time.
NATHAN
The fact that Colt is trying to kill me is not helping me. That’s the only reasonable explanation for why he makes all those noises over the food. “This is incredible,” he says before he moans over another bite. My erection hasn’t gone all the way down since we made out earlier, but now it’s back with a vengeance. I press my palm against my dick to relieve a little pressure. “What?”
I realize I’m staring at him, mouth partly open. “You sound like you’re having an orgasm over there.”
“It’s really good,” he says sheepishly.
“I’m not complaining. I’d just like to be the one making you make those noises.”
He pushes his bowl away from him. “I’m full.”
I push it back a little bit. “Eat your food. We’ll have plenty of time for that later.”
“Fine.” We eat in silence for a few minutes. I don’t know how to bring anything else up.
I clear my throat and summon some courage. “Maybe we should talk about a couple of things? You know, about us.”
“Good idea. Do you want to talk while we eat or after?”
“While we eat is good.” I don’t want this to get in the way of the more fun part of the evening. Cuddling up on the couch and watching a movie together fills me with warmth. How often have we watched something, and I yearned to curl up against him? Tonight, I might be able to do it. I just had to get through this shitty part first, though. Why is talking so hard?
“I don’t know where to start,” I admit. “I haven’t had this kind of big conversation before.” Usually, things evolve naturally throughout those early dates. It’s weird to be in a relationship that already has a deep emotional connection but none of the other stuff.
“Why don’t you start with whatever’s at the top of your mind, and we can go from there?” He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Whatever you want to say is fine. You aren’t going to scare me off.” Something in his earnest expression made me believe him.
“Okay, well, what is this? Are we friends with benefits? Dating?” He doesn’t answer right away, so I continue. “I don’t think I can do casual. I’ve never been good at it, and I already have feelings for you.” I need him to say something and stop me from spilling my guts all over the counter.
“Good, because I have no interest in something casual with you. I’m all in on this. I don’t want to share you with anyone else, either. I want us to be exclusive.”
That might be the hottest thing a man has ever said to me. “Okay. Good.”
“Good.” We ate in silence for a few minutes. I try to take in the situation. It’s weird to be playing out a fantasy I gave up on years ago. Sure, it popped up occasionally, but once I saw him at The Flaming Unicorn, it roared back with a vengeance.
Still, I didn’t trust this feeling. My heart was a big fat liar that led me astray a lot. The first time I was with Colt was in high school. Then, my college boyfriend. I had a few more over the years until I decided my heart should be in a permanent time out. What made this time any different?
I need to say something, and, for some reason, what pops into my mind is, “I’m negative. I got tested after my last boyfriend, and I haven’t been with anyone since. I can find the results on my phone or go again if it makes you feel better.”
“I trust you. I’m negative, too. They tested me at my physical when I found a new doctor here.” Well, at least most of the weird stuff is out of the way. I feel like there’s so much more I want to say right now, but the right words won’t come to me. I eat a few more bites and decide this is one thing that needs to be worked out as we go along. No magic conversation will convince me this is real. And that sucks.