Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
NATHAN
Matthias only lives a few blocks from the market, so we leave my car in the parking lot and walk over to his place. It’s better than dealing with the crazy traffic right now. We’ll come back when the market’s over and the area is less hectic. I’d gotten so caught up in my shit that I didn’t think about how hard it must be for Colt spending an entire day with my friends. They could be a bit much if you weren’t used to their antics, and time in Matthias’s backyard always included a lot of antics.
We end up at his place a lot, too, at least once the weather is nice. Matthias always had the best stuff, too—like the new home theater. A bunch of single guys need somewhere besides the bar to hang out. Except, now I had a boyfriend. The word still brought an inner giddiness bubbling up.
“We can still bail if you want.” I squeeze his hand and move a little closer.
“Absolutely not.” He pauses. “Unless you want to.”
I laugh. “I think we’re both having trouble making sense of today. How about we cut the crap and say what we’re thinking?” He nods. “I’ll go first. I like being out with you and my friends. It’s like having these two big parts of my life fit together. It’s still a little weird. I haven’t brought a boyfriend around them like this before, so I think they’re a little cautious, too. Having Oliver around doesn’t help, but he should also make friends, which has nothing to do with us.” The silence between us lingers for a few steps. “Okay, your turn.”
“Okay, I know having Oliver around is weird for you. It’s weird for me, too. I didn’t expect to ever see him again, and now, somehow, he’s part of the whole day. But I’m having a good time. It’s not better than spending the day naked in bed, but I’ll give it a close second.”
“Look at us being mature. Can you imagine telling our teenage selves that open communication is the solution to everything?”
“Nope, honestly, at thirty, I’m still shocked.” We walk the last block in comfortable silence, holding hands.
“Should we have brought something?” Colt whispers to me as I open the gate to the backyard. As usual, the whole place has become Party Central. It likely stays this way between events, but Matthias swears it gets cleaned up. I wouldn’t believe him except I’ve helped many times.
“Meh. I bring lots of stuff over. I brought a case of beer for the fridge a few weeks ago. Don’t worry about it.” I slide my hand down his lower back as he walks through the gate.
“You made it.” Aaron struts over and slaps a hand on my back. He’s always been the outgoing one in the group. “I’ve got stuff out on the table to eat. I know we just had lunch, but there’s always room for some snacks. Drinks are in the cooler, as usual.” It’s Matthias’s house, but Aaron acts like he owns it. Aaron is the group’s party planner, and Matthias likes to appease him by letting him use the space. The big home with a yard is wasted on Matthias, but at least he lets us all use it as often as we want.
“Thanks.” Matthias spots us and comes over. “The place looks great, by the way. Did you change something?” I ask him.
“That’s a nice way of saying the yard no longer looks like shit.”
“It never looked that bad, just... bland.” Grass and, well, more grass. Functional but not aesthetically pleasing. Not that it needed to be, but it didn’t match the modern decor of the rest of the place.
“Well, I gave up on doing it myself and hired a landscaping company to do it for me. They suggested shrubs and flowers that work well with our weather. I just signed the form to let them go for it.” He looks around as if taking it in for the first time. “I have to admit, it worked out better than I thought. Plus, I get to ogle the good-looking guys who come and work in my yard.”
“And the real reason comes out.” I bump my shoulder against his. I think he worries about telling us that he does stuff like this. He has more money than the rest of us. Much of it comes from his family, but he also works hard as a consultant. Whatever that means. He’s told me a thousand times, but I mostly just nod along.
“My only motivation was to be a good homeowner. If I happen to have hired a company full of eye candy, that’s just an added benefit.”
Colt snorts, and Matthias turns to face him. “I expect that from Nathan because he’s known me for far too long to be willing to believe anything I say, but I thought you’d at least take a few months before you joined in.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll be on my best behavior.” Colt makes a little cross sign over his heart as he grins. Whatever lingering concerns I have about him fitting in with my friend disappear.
Now, I need to eliminate the fear that this is all some temporary fever dream.
“Whatever. I’m going to go talk to some other people.” Matthias punches my arm as he walks away. Aaron nods and wanders off toward the grill and... Oliver? I shake my head. I’m not thinking about him. Instead, I squeeze Colt’s hand and give him a quick kiss. “I’m going to grab us a couple of beers. Make yourself comfortable.”
COLT
As Nathan walks away, I look around for a good spot to sit. Matthias has the kind of backyard people dream about. He has so much space and plenty of chairs on the deck and around the grilling area. It could easily accommodate a big group, but I like the small crowd. I’m unsure what the best spot is, so I switch to my favorite stall tactic: staring at my phone, pretending to do something meaningful.
“Hey,” a voice says from behind me. I jump as I turn to find Tyler standing behind me.
“Hey. You startled me. How’s it going?”
“I think I’m the one who should be asking you.”
“Uh, I think it’s going pretty good. It’s a nice day today. I thought you were visiting family.”
“We finished up a little bit ago, and Matthias texted me to say everyone was coming over.” Tyler leans back against the fence and crosses his arms. He’s trying to look menacing, but he’s at least three inches shorter than I am. “How are things with Nathan?” Ah, the question of the day.
“They’re great, though I suspect that isn’t what you want to ask me.”
“You’re right. I’m more interested in hearing about your plans for my friend.”
“Is that your version of asking what my intentions are?”
“Fine. What are your intentions? Nathan’s been my best friend since the first day of college. I already watched him pine for you and get over you once. I won’t let you break his heart a second time.”
A second time? I broke it a first time? Was he talking about the kiss in high school? Nathan had been embarrassed about the whole thing, but Tyler said heartbroken . I look around and catch sight of Nathan standing on the patio, talking and laughing with Aaron. “I care about Nathan. I have no intention of hurting him. I have never wanted to hurt him.”
“He’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. He doesn’t always show it, but I think he feels things more deeply than the rest of us. He tries to fix everything and everyone. When things don’t work out, he tends to blame himself.” Tyler looks up and observes Nathan for a few seconds. Does he have a crush on his friend? “If this is some sort of fling or rebound thing for you, you need to end it now.” I don’t see anything in his eyes that makes me think he’s in love with Nathan.
“We just started dating, but I can feel it. Nathan is it for me.”
“You better—” Tyler abruptly stops talking as Nathan approaches us, a beer bottle in each hand.
“Tyler, when did you get here? I’d have gotten you one, too.” He hands me one of the beers, and I gulp half the bottle. Did I tell Tyler that Nathan was it for me? That’s the kind of thing I should tell Nathan first. I knew Nathan was special the first day I met him. I knew the first time I saw him again at The Flaming Unicorn that I wanted to make a go at things. But thinking we’re supposed to be together long term? I’m not sure when that happened.
“No worries. I just got here. I’ll break into the house and find a better beer in the fridge anyway.” Tyler gives Nathan a quick pat on the shoulder, then turns back to give me a severe look.
“Okay, well, find us later so we can chat.” Nathan put his hand on top of Tyler’s for a second before the two separated.
Hopefully, that chat doesn’t include Tyler disclosing our conversation. At least until I can talk to Nathan and maybe break down a few walls he has built up that I can tell he’s still holding back.
And then there’s the whole heartbreak thing. Did Nathan think I was gearing up to do it again? Fuck . This was a lot to think about.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
I turn my attention to Nathan. “Perfect. Thanks for the beer.” I lift the bottle to my mouth but don’t drink. I’ve gone through half this bottle already. If I don’t slow down a bit, I’ll end up wasted. We’ve barely salvaged this outing; I don’t need to wreck it by turning into a sloppy drunk.
“You sure? Tyler wasn’t telling you any crazy college stories, was he? I can guarantee they’re all exaggerated, and a few didn’t even happen.” For some reason, I don’t believe him.
“Just small talk.” I can tell he wants to press me. “You want something to eat?” I motion toward the table full of chips, pretzels, cookies, and other snacks. Aaron and Oliver are standing over the snack table, engrossed in conversation.
“I think I’m still full from lunch. Aaron’s a bottomless pit.” Even if we don’t eat, at least I succeeded in changing the topic. I need more time to think through my feelings before telling Nathan. “He spends his days doing physical labor, though, so he burns it off. He also has a ridiculous metabolism. I keep thinking it’ll slow down one day, but it hasn’t happened yet.”
I shrug. “Well, I’m sure we’ll get to revel in the day when it finally happens.” At least, I hope I’m still around. It’s easy to picture spending every weekend like this, walking around a market and spending time with friends before returning home to wrap ourselves around each other. I’ve wanted it for so long, and it felt like an impossible fantasy.
But if I let myself dream a bit, I can see it starting to come true.
Nathan brings me a second beer and himself a seltzer and leads me over to the porch, where everyone is sitting around in Adirondack chairs. The conversation revolves around various topics, including work, sports, and the weather. I stay quiet, enjoying the easy way Nathan interacts with his friends. The other guys include me quickly, which is nice. Even Oliver seems to be enjoying himself. It’s a little strange since he met most of them today, but I’m adjusting to seeing him around as a friend.
Plus, Nathan looks over at me occasionally with this hunger in his eyes that sets my whole body on fire. I shift a few times to hide the bulge in my pants. When I grab one of the throw pillows and set it in my lap, he gives me a wink and leans over. “You want to get out of here?”
“Yeah.”
He makes an excuse for why we need to go and pulls me to the front of the house. I’m kicking myself for leaving the car back in town. We’ve got a decent walk and a car ride before we can touch each other again.
He pushes me against the garage door when we leave the backyard and captures my mouth. Our tongues tangle together, fighting for dominance. I press my erection against his thigh and moan as I roll my hips to rut against him. My hands work under his shirt to dig my fingers into his skin.
He presses his erection into my thigh and moans into my mouth. I grab his ass and pull him closer. I don’t think I’ve ever been so needy with someone before. I always like sex, but it’s Nathan I can’t get enough of.
“If you’re going to fuck at my house, could you at least go inside so the neighbors don’t complain?” I pull away and press my head against Nathan’s shoulder. I recognize Matthias’s voice.
“Sorry,” he mumbles. I can feel him stifle a bit of a laugh.
“Seriously. You both have homes and beds. Go find one of those.”
Nathan nips at my ear. “Sounds like a good idea.”