Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
NATHAN
“Oh my god. If it isn’t our long-lost friend. Wait, don’t tell me. I’ll remember your name. Stephen? Carl?”
“Very funny, Matthias. I missed one week.” I slide into the booth next to Aaron. The guys already have a collection of empty beer glasses on the table. I eye the beer they ordered for me in advance. I need some food in my system first. I skipped lunch—yes, again—and alcohol and an empty stomach do not go well together.
“I think it’s the first time you’ve missed our weekly get-together since you had food poisoning. Even then, we had to force you to stay home. I thought you might show up with a bucket,” Matthias points out.
I shudder at the memory. Those forty-eight hours were beyond miserable. I’d prayed to any god I could think of to end my suffering. Fortunately, one of them took pity on me.
“Colt needed me.” Matthias gags, and the others chuckle. “I’m not going to make it a habit.” I didn’t intend to be one of those people who ditch their friends the minute they get a serious boyfriend. I made the right choice last week, though. Colt’s dad was an asshole, and Colt needed a reminder of that. I’d do whatever it took to ensure he understood how much I cared about him. His family might not be willing to offer the unconditional love he deserved, but I could.
“We’re joking. We all think Colt is great for you.” Tyler puts his hand on my back. “Dude, you look like you saw a ghost or something.”
“I, uh, I think I love him.” Where did that come from? I keep hearing the words repeating in my head. My friends stare at me like I’m about to sprout a second head. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“We knew that already.” Aaron takes a long sip of his beer. “Wait, are you just realizing it?”
“Maybe. I’ve always cared for Colt, but I don’t know when I fell in love with him.” In love with him? I’m in love with Colt.
“Probably around when you got each other off against my garage door.”
I groan and cover my face with my hands. I didn’t need Matthias to share that tidbit with the rest of the table. However, judging by the lack of outbursts, they already knew.
“What should I do?”
“Well, I’m not an expert on this, but I think you’re supposed to tell him.” Matthias looks smug, and I hate it. He’s right on both parts. I wouldn’t consider him a relationship expert, but he has a point. I need to tell Colt. The thought sends a chill through my body.
“What if he doesn’t feel the same way? It’ll be like high school again when I pour my heart out to him only to discover everything’s one-sided.” Except, that wasn’t entirely true. It would take me a while to accept the new version of events he’d sprung on me.
Tyler clears his throat and nods toward the bar.
“Oh, um, we’re going to grab another round,” Aaron says as he shoves Matthias out of the booth, leaving me alone with Tyler.
“I’m about to give you some tough love. Colt is head over heels in love with you. That’s clear to anyone who’s seen you together. I know you’re worried he won’t feel the same when you tell him because of your past together, but I guarantee he loves you, too.”
“You don’t know that.” I shake my head. Tyler never gets serious with anyone. It seems to be a trend in this friend group. I wish one of them could give me some more lived advice.
“I do. I’m probably not supposed to say anything, but Colt told me how serious he is about your relationship.”
I snap my head up. “What? When?”
“When we were all at Matthias’s house. I threatened him , and he told me you were the one.”
“I have no idea what part of that sentence to ask about first.” My beer sits at the table, untouched, my head still buzzing.
“Neither, because I’m not giving you any more details. I’m telling you that what you feel is the same thing Colt feels. For once in your life, don’t overthink. Just jump.”
“That’s a lot of wisdom from someone who’s already had”—I count the empty glasses next to him—“three beers.”
“No judging.” Tyler raises a finger at me. “Not all of us are in ridiculously sappy relationships.”
I examine him for a moment. Tyler wants to find someone, but he’s never been big on dating. He went on a few dates in college that he described as spectacularly awful, but he’s never shared details. Since then, I rarely hear him mention anyone. He hooks up with guys he finds on an app, but nothing more. He shakes his head, and I decide not to press it tonight.
Matthias slides back in and pushes a new glass across the table to Tyler. The rest of the night went about as usual—work and family drama updates. By the time the evening ends, I feel lighter and a little more ready to face my feelings. The only thing left to do is tell Colt.
COLT
I hate Thursdays. That might be a bit of an overstatement, but on Thursdays, Nathan hangs out with his college friends. Which is fine. He should have friends and do things that don’t involve me. But especially this week, Thursday is a reminder of how close the two of us have grown in a short period. It also reminds me that I haven’t slept in my bed in almost a week and a half. Not since Nathan invited me to stay the night.
I don’t care about the actual bed. My mattress is comfortable enough, but I miss the heat from Nathan’s body as I fall asleep. I miss waking up with our limbs tangled and pressing myself against him. I miss the early morning kisses.
It’s strange how quickly those became part of our normal routine. Nathan asked us to go slow, and while we might have started that way, now we’re barreling ahead. The thought of a future together fills me with warm, fuzzy feelings. The same ones I had when Tyler asked me about my intentions. I don’t know how I’m so sure this thing between us is real; I just do.
Of course, I still haven’t worked up the courage to tell him. Yet . It’s not for lack of trying either; there is just always a reason to put it off for another day. I can’t figure out where his head is, and I don’t want to rush him.
I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and go to bed. Nathan’s early bedtimes have worn off on me. It doesn’t help that we wake up early so we have some extra time together in the morning before we go our separate ways. Even if I’ve caught him up working in the middle of the night a few times. He needs some boundaries with his job. Something for us to discuss after his gala.
My phone chimes, and I pull it out.
Nathan Winslow
Just wrapping up with the guys
I smile at the easy way he checks in with me when we’re apart.
Me
Hope you had a good time.
Nathan Winslow
Can I come over?
My heart leaps into my throat.
Me
Of course
Nathan WInslow
Be there in 15
As though I would ever turn down an offer like that.
My body fills with warmth until I think I might burst. Whatever anxiety I felt earlier in the evening is replaced with a general calmness. One I always seem to have when Nathan is near. It’s easy to imagine us together every night. Not for sex—though that’s a benefit—but just the intimacy of going through our evening routines together before settling between the sheets.
I look around and imagine Nathan in my apartment, sitting on my couch the way he did last week when he held me, drinking coffee in the kitchen, or laughing as he picks out a movie for us to watch. Even imagining his presence brings a sense of calmness to my body. A sense of home I didn’t know I’d been missing. As long as we’re together, nothing else matters.