37
Keltania
We bid Bojan goodbye and make our way back up to the main wing. There are guards posted, and they glare at me as we pass. Valen doesn’t notice this time. He’s too lost in his own mind. He’s worried. I am, too.
I slip into my room, and Valen follows, closing the door softly. “You know you don’t have to do this, right?” he asks as he sinks onto the edge of my bed. “We can find another way.”
“We already tried that,” I remind him. “I’m going to ask you just one question. Tell me the truth. Do you believe there’s a chance—a decent chance—that we’ll win if we go up against her as we are right now?”
Looking down, he shakes his head. Small tendrils of hair have escaped their bindings and flutter back and forth. “I…”
“Then I have to do this.” I don’t wait for him to answer. The truth is, if he tries to sway me, I might let him. I want to return the power to my people—but not like this. There are still too many unknowns. Too many variables. Too many things that could go horribly wrong.
Before I can second-guess myself, I pull the tear from my pocket, uncork it, and drain the vial dry. If this breaks our link, it’s worth it to save everyone.
“Tania!” Valen jumps from his seat and snatches the empty vial from my hand. “What did you just do?”
I swallow.
The liquid is cloyingly sweet and leaves an itching trail down my throat as it goes. Seconds later, it starts to burn. A series of violent coughs overtakes me, and I double over, gasping for air. My throat, my lungs—my entire chest—is on fire.
“Tania?” My head clouds, and Valen’s unfathomable panic floods me. “Tania, talk to me! What’s wrong?” Valen’s arms are around me, helping me to the edge of the bed. Everything swims for a moment, then evens out, the burning subsiding, leaving me oddly numb.
“I—I think I’m—I think I’m all right.” I flex my fingers, wiggling them one by one, then bend my arms, my legs… “Yeah. I’m fine.”
He kneels in front of me. “Are you sure?” He takes my hand, thumb resting over my pulse point. His hovering makes me dizzy. “Do you feel any different?”
Should I? I just swallowed half of all druid magic, yet I feel exactly as I did ten minutes ago. “I’m not sure how long it’s supposed to take.”
He frowns. “Let me find Zana.”
“She’s a Fae, Valen. She’s well versed in old-school Fae magic, but druid power? She probably knows what I do—which isn’t saying much.”
I close my eyes and concentrate on the small potted plant across the room. It’s a Dreadshade fungus. Valen gave it to me on our trip back from Ventin. I will the little plant to bloom. Several leaves grow a bit bigger, a tendril pokes out from the dirt, but other than that—which I’d been able to do before—there’s nothing.
“Is it possible the magic died in the tear?” A spike of worry filters down the link as he sags back against the wall. “What if it was contained too long?”
“I don’t think that’s possible. I think maybe I just need time.” Which, of course, we don’t have.
He doesn’t look convinced, but he stands. “I have to let the council know.”
“I figured.” I did this to protect the Winter Fae, after all. But in this moment, I’m keenly aware of the distrust most of them have for me. I can’t shake the way Celpin looked at me earlier. Or the way the guards glared as we passed. It’s all I can think about.
“You’ll be okay?” Valen asks.
“Sure. I’m heading out to check the warding.” I start toward the door, but Valen steps in front of me.
“Shouldn’t you stay here? Rest?”
“I’m not sick,” I say, laughing. I understand that he just wants what’s best for me and that he’s worried about weird side effects, but it’s annoying. “I’ll be fine.”
“We don’t know that. Maybe you should stay here. I can stay with you. We could—”
“Don’t you have to meet with Suria? You know, since the last session was interrupted? She’s going to bury the estate under an avalanche of snow if you don’t help her control her magic.”
“Good point. Just take it easy, okay?” He nods, and without another word, he heads off to find Suria.
I close the door behind him, sinking to the floor against it. There’s an odd sort of buzzing in my head. A constant hum radiating through each of my limbs. I close my eyes and inhale deeply. The buzzing changes, morphing into an indistinguishable whisper.
“Alike…power…calling…revenge.”
I force my eyes open and stare down at my hands. There’s a slightly green shimmer surrounding them. Like a halo of living energy enveloping each digit. It pulsates, then spreads to cover both hands. Over my wrists and up both arms.
Stumbling upright, I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands. The tear. The magic. This is just my body adjusting to it. My mind, my soul, remembering how the magic feels…
“Remembering…Destiny…love and betrayal…purpose…”
“Shit!” I focus, remembering the calming techniques they taught us in Lunal. It was one of the first lessons we learned. Each situation, every fight, requires a calm soul and a clear head. That’s all this is. Another fight, another situation. Stillness and calm are the only ways to get through.
After several moments, the feeling passes. My hands no longer hold the green hue, and my head is silent. I sit and unlace my boots, then crawl across the mattress, settling in the center of the bed and curling into a ball. As my eyes grow heavy and the room darkens, I think about Valen.
About the future he has before him.
About how I will never fit into it.
…
“Wake, Keltania.”
The voice is familiar. So is the scent. Jasmine and clover with the subtlest hint of sage. I open my eyes, and standing in front of me, at the edge of a rocky embankment, is Levina.
Aphelian.
I spread my legs and reach for my weapon—but find my sheath empty.
She laughs. It’s a sound I once found comforting. Now, though, it sends shivers of anger down my spine. It makes my heart thunder with rage and my fingers itch for vengeance.
“We cannot harm each other here,” she says.
“Here?” I look around. The landscape changes, morphing into a rocky platform with dark, stormy skies overhead. A burst of lightning illuminates the sky, followed by a thunderous boom. “Where is here?”
“The dream.” She circles me slowly. “The place between. Druids haven’t been able to access it in thousands of years. You, my dear, are the first. Well, aside from me, that is.”
“Did you bring me here?” I step back, ready for a fight. Just because she says we can’t harm each other here doesn’t mean I believe her. She’s lied to me my entire life. Nothing that comes out of her mouth is true.
“You brought yourself here,” she says. “Or, more specifically, the magic inside you brought you here. You drank the tear. I sense the power inside you.” She stops walking and tilts her head to the sky. There’s an odd sort of pitch in her voice. Sadness. “It’s not supposed to be like this…chaotic and unsettled. This place was once peaceful. Serene and beautiful. A paradise. Now look at it…”
“This is the tear’s fault?”
“There’s no fault, Keltania. Being here, on this plain, is as natural to a druid as breathing.”
“Fine.” I still don’t buy it, but I can play along. “Why did the magic bring me here?”
Her expression darkens. Gone is the cheerful, serene facade meant to put others at ease. “Because the magic knows it is destined for greater things.” She stomps her foot. Thorny black roots spring from the ground. They twist and pulsate, forming what resembles a throne. Aphelian sits. “Now that you’ve reclaimed our power, surely you must feel it? Surely you can empathize with my plight.”
My instinct is to deny it—we still don’t even know what she’s really up to—but…I can’t. I hate what she’s done. The lies and betrayal all in the name of some twisted plot. But I also know that she’s a product of Servis’s betrayal. Standing here with her, I can feel the love she had for him. It’s twisted inside her, turning into something dark and poisonous, but it’s there. I can taste the sting of his horrific actions. I sense the overwhelming guilt she felt for hundreds of years over losing her people’s magic to someone who had used her. These things have changed her. Darkened her mind and soul into the broken thing that stands before me.
Still, none of that excuses what she’s done.
What she still intends to do.
“Tell me what’s really going on.” I advance on her. “What are you planning?”
She smiles but says nothing.
“You’ve been playing this as revenge, but it’s not. Tell me what you’re really up to.”
“Your Fae asked me the same thing. And I’ll tell you what I told him—nothing.” She waves her hand, and a watery, semi-translucent image of Valen appears in the air between us. “Don’t you realize how much like Servis he is?”
I ball my fists, fingernails digging into my palms. “Valen is nothing like Servis.”
“Isn’t he?” She waves her hand again, and the image disappears. “Isn’t your situation similar to mine?”
I pity her. But I also pity myself because, deep down, I’ve been feeling it lately…the similarities. There are some—but it’s not the same. She feels justified in her anger. But she’s wrong.
“I’m sorry that Servis betrayed you, Aphelian. What happened to you—how he tricked you? I don’t blame you for being angry.”
She cocks her head to the side, eyes widening just a bit. “I’m angrier at myself than him. He was to be a means to an end—but I lost myself in him.”
“You—” She’d been trying to use Servis first?
“Despite how it started, my feelings for him were real. And he spat on them.”
I take a step toward her. “I get it. That would twist anyone into knots. But it’s over. It’s been over for thousands of years.”
“Over? This won’t be over until I’ve finished. And what happened with me and Servis is happening all over again with you.” She circles me, arms folded. “Open your eyes, child. Valen’s intentions might have started out noble. He might have even cared for you. But now? Now he sees you as Servis saw me. A tool to win his war. Except this is not a fight he can win.”
“You’re wrong.” I hate the unease that’s bubbling in my gut. The fact that she can make me doubt everything… “Servis looked at you and saw something to wield and control. He saw power to claim. Valen looks at me and sees an equal. A powerful ally.”
“Then why does he intend to use you and your newly rediscovered power to destroy me?”
“Taking the tear was my choice.”
“Was it?” She reaches out and traces the line of my chin, smiling sadly. “Was it really?”
“Please, Aphelian… Levina .” I take her hands. If she walks away now, then I can convince Valen to spare her life. I can keep our connection—at least in some small way. “I am asking you to let this go. If you ever loved me—if you ever cared for me at all—then stop whatever madness you have planned.”
“This was never something that could be stopped.” She weaves her fingers through mine. “Sweet child, I did care for you. I still do. And that is why I cannot stop what was put into motion so very long ago.”
What the hell does that mean?
Without another word, Aphelian fades, her form dissolving in a churning swirl of fog.