44
Valen
Tania? I’ve been trying to reach her since she left last night. Now, I finally get through and she asks me a question about Aphelian’s long-dead daughter?
Why does that matter? With everything going on, the fate of a young druid child who is long gone by now seems unimportant.
I— Yes, she survived—but why—
“We need to talk. Meet me at the edge of the forest at dawn.”
Why dawn? I know there’s no way I’ll be able to concentrate on anything until she’s back home, safe. Come now. I’ll meet you.
“Dawn.” The link goes dead again.
I keep trying, but when I only get silence, I go to find Gensted. He and Tania have gotten close, and he’s been worried sick. He should at least know that I’ve heard from her. But instead of him, I find Delkin in the hall outside the main wing.
“Valen.” His expression falls. “I am truly sorry this has all fallen on you. What can I do to help you?” He positions himself in the center of the hall, blocking my escape.
“Take back the throne?” I’m not serious. Not really. But it’s comforting to ask at the very least.
The smile he offers is sad. “I wish it were that easy, my son.”
“What’s so hard about it?” I stalk from one end of the room to the other. “You’re a far better monarch than I’ll ever be. Take it back. Everyone here loves you. It’ll be seamless.”
“No, it wouldn’t. The people know you. They trust you. Look at all you’ve done for them so far…”
All I’ve done is put them in danger. How can he not see that?
“I thought all our problems would be solved if the others manifested. They did, and now things seem even more complicated than before.” I lean back against the wall and sink to the floor. It’s un-monarch-like. Tania would scold me mercilessly. But, for a moment, I just want to be me. Lazy, forgetful, and selfish. Aimless. What I wouldn’t give to just sit in the cellar and drink my way through the estate wine. “I don’t want this, Father.”
He settles in front of me. Something pained flashes through his eyes. “That’s the first time you’ve called me father.”
“Is it?”
He nods. “It’s stupid, considering all the other things going on, but it makes me happy to hear it.”
I lean my head back and close my eyes. It’s hard to believe that things were simpler when Tania and I were on the road, fighting to survive the harsh wilds while trekking to Ventin. Happily free from the prying eyes of the estate while looking for the other courts… If I’d known then what I do now, would I have done anything differently?
No. Probably not. “It makes me happy to say it.”
“Mori would be so proud of you.”
I snort. “She’d be proud of me for wanting to abandon the Winter Lands so I could be happy instead of responsible?”
“She would be proud of you because despite wanting to do that, you won’t.”
“Only because Tania is a better person than me. She’d never allow it.”
“You two complement each other perfectly. I see myself and Mori in you two.”
I stare at him. In this moment, I’m a child desperate for my parents to swoop in and fix this disaster. “How the hell do I fix this?”
“I wish I had advice to give you, but I don’t.” He stands and helps me to my feet. “All I can say is that I know you will make the right choices—whatever they are.”
With a nod, he turns and leaves, and I continue, wandering aimlessly. When I turn the corner before the courtyard, I run into Suveo.
“Valen,” he says. “Good evening.”
“Suveo.” I try to keep walking, in no mood for his bullshit, but he steps in front of me.
“I trust you’ve seen the error of your ways?”
“Excuse me?”
“Trusting the human. My sources tell me she’s joined forces with your enemy.”
“Your sources ?”
“I had one of my guards follow her trail after she fled the estate. He found her with Aphelian, to the west of here.” He shakes his head and frowns. “His orders were to kill Aphelian, but alas, the chance never safely presented itself. However, I’ve had my men report to Celpin. We now know where the druid is—and we shouldn’t waste any more time. Let’s kill them both and be done with this.”
I wedge my elbow beneath his neck and shove him to the wall. “Remind me again why I shouldn’t kill you ?”
Suveo laughs. “Is that any way to treat a guest?”
“You’ve been nothing but trouble since you arrived.” I slam him against the wall. “Now you dare seek out our enemy without consulting the rest of us? I brought you here to work with us—as a team.”
“Careful, Valen.” He clucks his tongue. “Someone might think the loss of your pet is clouding your judgment.”
A blast of air knocks me back. Suveo pushes off the wall and straightens his robes. I grab for the dagger on my belt. Tania insisted I carry one. I argued that making my own weapons from ice was simpler, but she countered that it didn’t hurt to have a backup. In this moment, I’m grateful—though I doubt she’d approve of me using it on Suveo.
Or, maybe she would…
Suveo snaps his fingers, and a small tornado forms between us. “Oops. Seems like I have more control over my new magical abilities than previously stated.”
The funnel knocks me back, this time pinning me to the wall across from him. He crosses to where I am and grabs me around the neck as the small tornado dissipates. “Let me be clear on my position here. I will honor my part of the deal and help you battle Aphelian. But your human bitch is not part of the arrangement. The next time I see her? I will kill her.”
I try for hours to sleep before giving up and pacing the room. Shifting and roaming the woods always clears my mind, but even that seems too risky right now. Tania attacked me. While it wasn’t her—not really—I can’t shake the look of fury in her eyes or the rage pulsing through our link. She’s the calm one. Levelheaded and steady. For the tear to have affected her this way… Gods.
I don’t know if you can hear me. Maybe you can and you’re just not answering. Maybe Aphelian did something to block me out. Either way, I need to say a few things.
I wait, just in case, but there’s nothing but eerie silence.
This whole thing is a mess. I know that. I also know I contributed to it. We agreed that being together right now wasn’t the right thing to do. We were wrong. Do you hear me, Tania? We were fucking wrong. We deserve to be happy. It doesn’t matter what else is going on around us. It all comes second to that.
We’ve been divided since coming back from Ventin. Purposefully keeping our distance from each other, dimming the damn link…all it’s done is make us weaker. I know you think it was the right thing to do, but it wouldn’t have gotten this bad if we’d just stood together.
As soon as you come back, that’s what we’re going to do. Stand together. Because that’s the only way we’re going to win this war.
As dawn approaches, I shift and slip from the estate to meet Tania. I’m tempted to tell Kopic what’s going on, or, Gods help me, Gensted, but I decide against it on the small chance they try to talk me out of going. Or insist on going with me. I need to do this alone.
As I near the clearing, I feel that Tania’s already there. I don’t see her, though.
“Valen.”
I stop in the center of the clearing and shift back into Fae form. Where are you?
No answer.
Please. Whatever is going on, we’ll fix it.
“Will we?”
I spin in a slow circle, scanning the trees. An owl, a few deer on the ground—but no sign of Tania. Then again, I wouldn’t see her unless she wanted me to, even with our bond.
This isn’t you talking. It’s the tear. The power… It’s Aphelian whispering in your ear.
“Maybe I’m just like her…”
How could she even think that? You are nothing like her.
“I’m more like her than you want to admit. But I think you already know that.”
To my left, the bushes move, and a moment later, Tania emerges. Everything in me wants to rush to her side, but I have to tread carefully.
She comes into the clearing and stops a few feet from where I’m standing. “You lied to me.” The fury in her voice makes me cringe.
“I’ve never lied to you.” She’s the one person I’ve never felt I needed to lie to. She might disagree with things I do, but Tania has never, ever judged me.
At her sides, both fists ball tight. “What about Aphelian’s daughter?”
“That wasn’t a lie. It was an omission—one I didn’t think was important.”
“You didn’t think it was important ?” The venom in her tone makes my stomach twist in knots. While she can have a temper at times, Tania is the most even person—Fae or human—that I’ve ever met. “She—”
“Forget about her.” I move toward her, but she tenses and I freeze. I’m so afraid to do something that might set her off. I need to be careful because I fear I’ll only get one chance to reach her. “Forget Aphelian. Focus on you. On me. On what we’re trying to do for the Fae.”
“The Fae? They took everything. Aphelian had a purpose. A destiny.”
“What Servis did—”
“He destroyed her. He made her forget… Just as you’re trying to do to me.”
“Made her forget what?” I hold up both hands and take a step back. “What is she trying to do, Tania?”
“I…” A glimmer of hesitation seeps into the link.
“I’m trying to save people,” I say. “None of this has to end in bloodshed. If she’d just walk away, forget—”
“Why should she forget?” Tania advances a few steps. “Why should she have to forgive when it’s happening all over again?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Have you heard anything I’ve said? You’re using me the same way Servis used her.”
“Have you heard me ? I told you I would never do that!”
“No? So you don’t plan to wield me and the druid magic as a tool to wipe out your enemy?”
“ My enemy? She’s your enemy, too. Tania, what—”
“She’s a druid. She’s my people. We’re…connected. I belong with her. I— We have a…a job to do.”
“Tania…” I’m losing her. “I’m not your enemy. You have to fight this. Focus. What job? What is it Aphelian is trying to do?”
“Job? I…I don’t know. She’s…manipulating me…” Her expression softens, and her posture sags just a bit. “You love me…”
“I do.”
“And you would never hurt me?”
There’s a glimmer of the Tania I know. I chase it. “I can’t promise I won’t ever do something by accident, but I would never hurt you deliberately. I love you.”
For an instant, I think I’ve gotten her back. Her expression softens, and there’s even the smallest hint of a smile. But it’s gone as quickly as it comes, and her brows furrow. She tilts her head. “And if I chose to stand with Aphelian?”
My blood runs cold. “What?”
“If I chose not to work against her. What would you do if I said that I didn’t want to use the druid magic to stop her?”
“Do you hear what you’re saying?” I can’t keep the frustration from my voice.
“That’s where your love stops, then?”
My mouth goes dry. “If I don’t do something, Aphelian will kill thousands of innocent Fae. I can’t stop her without your help.”
Tania, the real Tania, would tell me the lives of the people are far greater than one. I’ve been so insistent that she’s wrong. That to me, she’s the only one who matters.
I’ve been wrong.
I love her. I will always love her. And because of the man she’s made me, I can’t sacrifice the many for the one.
It makes me sick to my stomach, but I say, “I love you. You know that I do. But if you’re not with me on this, then you’re against me.”
She nods. “That was all I needed.”
There’s something sad in her eyes, but beneath it, there’s a darkness that just doesn’t belong. Instead of walking away, she screams. The sound is primal and fierce, and I’m more focused on it than what it potentially means.
The ground shakes, and trees break through the earth all around us. Their limbs grow and stretch, trapping me in here with her. I meant what I said to her. I will never intentionally harm her.
But that doesn’t mean I won’t defend myself.