Chapter 15
NICK
When Cara walked into the restaurant, my heart lodged itself firmly in my throat and stayed there.
I stood as she approached me at the bar and pulled out a stool for her.
She was dressed in black jeans and a silky red blouse.
She wore make-up, at least eyeshadow, liner, and lipstick, and whatever other magical potions women used to make themselves look naturally flawless.
Her scent, whether from her body wash or perfume, was soft and subtly citrusy.
“You clean up nice,” I said as she slid onto the barstool beside me.
“So do you.” She ran her fingertips over my smooth jaw.
Yes, I’d shaved again, and no, it wasn’t because Pasco had recommended it. But when Cara’s hand lingered on my face appreciatively, I thought I might make a new habit of two shaves a day.
“You didn’t order my margarita.”
“I didn’t really want you to have watery tequila.” I signaled to the bartender, who nodded, then quickly mixed her drink and poured it over ice.
“Be careful, Nick Roman, or you might make me think you’re a gentleman.”
“If that happens, I’m sure I can disabuse you of the notion in no time.” I held her gaze and sipped my whiskey, wondering if I was losing my ever-loving mind because I couldn’t stop flirting with her.
The bartender set her margarita in front of her. She lifted her glass and we silently toasted.
“Whew, that’s strong. Did you slip him a twenty to make sure I get drunk?” she asked.
I smiled and fought back the urge to tease her back. This time, I succeeded. I inclined my head toward the dining room. “They’re crowded tonight and won’t have an open table for another hour, so I took the liberty of ordering for us so we can eat here at the bar.”
“How did you know I’m starving?”
“I heard your stomach growling when we were talking back at your room.”
“And how did you know what to order for me?”
“I texted Mason and asked him what things you like to order off his menu.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Resourceful. I’m impressed.”
I was saved from the flirt/no flirt decision by the bartender bringing our dinners, a mushroom and linguini dish for her and chicken marsala for me.
I purposefully kept our conversation light but not flirtatious during dinner.
I wanted to save the serious conversation for after.
While I would have preferred looking at Cara across a table while asking her about her art and her plans for next year, there was something to be said for the way our knees occasionally bumped against each other and the ease with which she could touch my arm while she spoke.
After dinner, Cara ordered a Sherry and I asked for another whiskey.
The restaurant was quieter now as the dinner crowd dissipated.
With the dim lighting, candles on the tables and the ends of the bar, and the gentle jazz in the background, the place was ridiculously romantic.
I wished we were here for a different, more romantic conversation.
But I’d stalled long enough and I still owed her an explanation.
“Cara, I’m sorry for the way I overreacted when I found out you’d changed our route.”
“You didn’t. I should have discussed it with you.”
“I wish you had, but there’s more to it than that.” I downed the rest of my drink, then instinctively laid my hand over hers. She didn’t pull away and I didn’t, either. “I want to tell you about my parents.”
“I’d like that.”
“About their death,” I added so she wouldn’t be caught off-guard.
She nodded encouragement and waited for me to continue.
She’d been brave enough to tell me about her shitty breakup and the bad choices and heartbreak that had followed. The least I could do was man up and share a hard truth about my own past, especially since it was affecting our trip together.
I pushed past the squeezing pain in my chest and for the first time ever, told someone the whole story. “I was twenty-one years old, deployed to the sandbox. Afghanistan.”
“Wow.”
That was the easy part of the story, so I plowed on. “I told you my mom was a vocal coach and choral director. That year, she’d gotten a prestigious job directing Handel’s Messiah for one of the big New York City choirs.”
“I love that piece.”
“So do I, although I haven’t listened to it since the night of her concert.
It was being broadcast and we were able to view the feed.
My whole battalion was there, and even though Christmas was still a week away, we made an early celebration of it.
It was amazing. My mom was at the top of her game, and the cameraman even took a shot of my dad in the audience, beaming with pride.
For someone who hadn’t been able to get home for Christmas for two years, it felt like I was able to be with them.
I had no idea I’d never have that feeling again. ”
Cara sucked in her breath. She didn’t take her eyes off my face as she waited for me to gather the courage to tell the rest of the story.
“My commanding officer woke me up a few hours after the party ended. Sending an emergency message halfway around the world to an undisclosed military location is quite the clusterfuck. By the time Lang told me my parents had been in a car accident, they’d already been dead for three hours.
It had been the greatest night of my mom’s professional life.
She and my dad had an amazing night together, surrounded by friends and colleagues.
But by the time they left the reception after, the sleet had started.
When they were ten miles from home, they hit a patch of black ice. ”
I didn’t realize I was crying until Cara wiped a tear from my cheek and her own eyes welled up. I stopped speaking. I couldn’t go into any more details. None of them would change the end of the story anyway.
“I just needed you to know,” I told Cara. “Because of the way I reacted earlier, and because some part of me will always worry when someone I care about drives in bad weather. I also know I can’t protect everyone.”
“But you spend your life trying.” She laid her hand on my cheek.
“Nick, you’re doing a great job of it. You’ve saved so many people over the years.
I meant every word I said about you being a hero.
But I know you don’t do it for the glory.
You do it because you don’t want any other family mourning their lost loved ones over the holidays or any other day of the year. ”
I managed a smile. “And here I thought I was doing it because I’m an arrogant asshole who likes the adulation.”
“Well, that, too.”
I laughed. That was one thing I loved so much about Cara. She made me laugh.
Everything changed then. The mood at the bar lifted but also, the burden I’d been carrying for twenty years lightened.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” she said. “And thank you for not giving up on your trust in me.”
“I do trust you, Cara.”
“Is that all?” she asked.
I understood the question without her saying more. “No, that’s not all.” I swallowed hard, knowing I was about to cross the Rubicon. “I also want you.”
“I know we both went into this road trip thinking we were too different, especially age-wise, to fall for each other.” She touched my jaw again, then ran her fingernails gently down my neck. “We were wrong.”
The shock of her touch made my dick twitch and my balls ache.
I was nearly panting as I spoke. “I was lying to myself. Even that first night, I wanted you. It was all physical attraction at first. But then you turned me down flat, and you fought like hell at trivia. And then you followed me to the bar and made me laugh.” I traced my fingertips over her silky-smooth cheek.
“How is it so easy for you to make me laugh?”
“You make me feel funny.” She grimaced. “That came out wrong.”
I laughed again. “I get your meaning.”
“Then again,” she lowered her voice, “you do make me feel funny in all my favorite naughty places.”
“Trust me, they’re my favorite naughty places, too.”
“But Nick,” she leaned toward me and skimmed her lips across mine in the sweetest, softest kiss, “with your constant reminders about our ages, I could almost see you writing the rules in your mind about me being off-limits.”
“Tonight, I’m too tired to care about the rules.” I leaned into her again, needing another taste. I caught her lips with mine, and we both groaned.
When we ended the kiss, her face was flushed and her pupils were blown as she stared into my eyes.
“You’re probably so tired because it’s past your bedtime.
” She grabbed my collar and tugged on it.
“Do you think there’s any chance you can stay awake for another hour to help me break some of your rules? ”
“For you, gorgeous, I’ll stay up all night and we’ll break them all.”