Chapter 7
SEVEN
MAX JENSEN
There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell I was going back to the campsite. First of all, I needed Reid alone. Second, I was done with sand.
I winced as I zipped up my shorts. Then I kicked off my shoes, ready to say goodbye to them forever.
“Where do you think you’re goin’?”
“To the boat,” I said, wading out into the water. “So are you. Let’s go.”
Motherfucker, I hurt everywhere. I had sand in places…
My entire back felt like it was on fire, my jaw ached for some reason, my ass was so sore that my breathing hitched every time I accidentally clenched down, and I had bruises forming along my ribcage and thighs.
When the water was deep enough, I dove under and found relief in the chill. The water was fucking perfect, except it stung. My bottom lip and some spot along my shoulder blades had been bleeding.
I resurfaced and scrubbed at my face, and I made sure he was following. If he hadn’t been, I would’ve punched him in the face and dragged him with me.
He couldn’t fucking do this to me if he wasn’t gonna follow through. All the things he’d said, the way he’d taken me—if he regretted something tomorrow or, hell, next month, I’d break. He was the one person on this planet who had that ability.
It was terrifying and elating at once.
“Be mine, darlin’.”
I swam toward the boat, toward the lone lantern Sam had lit under the canopy by the steering wheel.
Sam was the only one who’d brought his phone to the island too, because it could handle the water. Maybe Rome too. With their military backgrounds, they didn’t do anything half-assed. Heavy-duty gear all the way.
Then again, we probably didn’t have any service out here. We’d have to find another way to let them know Reid and I were staying on the boat. No matter what, I wasn’t going back.
Reid and I reached the boat at the same time, and we aimed for the back, where we could climb up on the little platform meant to dock Jet-Skis to.
“Your silence bothers me,” he said, out of breath.
I grunted as I hauled myself up. “I was busy swimming faster than sharks could catch me.”
“I was busy laying my heart on the line earlier,” he replied.
My mouth twitched, and I glanced back at him. Was he serious about all this?
Part of me refused to accept it, and I knew why. We’d never been an option before because I was too chickenshit to go after the one person who could wreck me. If he felt remotely similar about me, he could probably relate—and our fears were valid. We didn’t make sense, regardless of how much tonight had fucked me up in the best ways.
I was going to need a month or two to process my newfound obsession with being taken.
He’d been right on the money. I’d felt so fucking vulnerable, and it’d bordered on humiliation—and I wanted more of it .
“Come on.” He nudged me forward, and I hitched a leg over to the seating area. “If we’re sleeping here, I wanna get rid of the salt.”
Count me in.
He walked over to one of the compartments where the driver sat—fuck if I knew what it was called; I didn’t know anything about boats—and he dug out half a dozen bottles of water and two towels.
I got with the program and followed him to the side of the boat where water could drain out.
After stripping off my shorts, I opened the first bottle and?—
“Lemme.” Reid grabbed it from me.
I swallowed and stood stock-still as he moved in close. He poured the water over my head and combed his fingers through my hair, and I didn’t look away from his face unless I had to blink away waterdrops.
In the low light from the lantern, he looked like a man from another world. He was all shadows and contrasts. And he was troubled by something.
I had to be as honest as he’d been, even if he ended up regretting everything.
Nerves tightened in my gut.
He emptied a second bottle over my shoulders, and he traced his hands over my skin.
“I’ve been low-key in love with you for a solid fifteen years,” I heard myself say.
Well, that was a fucking confession.
His gaze snapped to mine, and he stopped what he was doing.
I cleared my throat. “That’s not counting the childhood crush I developed overnight when my brother brought you home for the first time.”
He smiled faintly, and it wasn’t enough. He was struggling with vulnerability tonight too.
“It always seemed too farfetched, though,” I admitted. “I never let myself consider it because of…you know.”
We were such great friends. He was my brother and my lifeline. Losing that would be the end of me, and given how our…preferences…had lined up, it’d felt like too great of a risk, and I told him that. Word for word. Because I was fucking scared .
He nodded with a dip of his chin, and I grabbed the next bottle. It was my turn.
He closed his eyes as I poured it over his head, and I slipped my fingers through the short waves.
Waterdrops clung to his eyelashes, the tip of his nose, and in his scruff.
Too beautiful.
“I reckon I’m the one who’s gotta worry,” he said quietly. “You’ve only dated Littles and subs.”
“And that worked out well for me.”
He exhaled a low chuckle. “Touché. But those labels…? In the heat of the moment, I can call you mine and be done with it, but then you wake up the next day and feel like it’s not enough.”
Maybe it was, though. It sure as fuck felt like my chase was over.
He opened his eyes again when I used another bottle to wash his shoulders and chest. His skin was littered with tiny scratches and blotchy marks.
And I knew exactly what to say, for once. “You know when I never feel the need to hunt down my place in life? When I’m with you. Whether it’s you and me or we have the boys with us.”
He swallowed and nodded once. “Same.”
I closed the distance and kissed him, needing it. Another bottle fell to the floor, and he pressed his body to mine. That’s it . That was it right there. Him pressed up against me.
“I can’t go back to pretending,” he murmured. “I guess I’ve been in a similar spot as you—but I go through some rough patches here and there when all I want is to shake the fuck outta you for not seein’ what I see.”
I inched back enough to make eye contact, and he explained that, every now and then, when his feelings for me resurfaced with too much force, he turned to anger and physical outlets.
“Every time you went hiking off the grid…” I lifted my brows, just remembering being cranky as fuck because he hadn’t wanted my company.
He smirked a little and inclined his head. Then he went for the next bottle of water. “But anyway. If you can just agree to spend the rest of your life with me, that’d be great.”
I grinned and shook my head. So we’d both harbored all these feelings for so long, and we’d been too scared to say anything because the partners we’d tended to go for were nothing like us.
“You have me,” I said. “But when you get sick of me?—”
“Ain’t gonna happen.”
I suppressed a sigh and let him get on with the washing. He seemed intent on running aftercare with me, and I couldn’t complain. I’d do the same with him.
“I want more of what we already have, darlin’. You, me, our boys—holidays, dinners on the roof, vacations, work lunches. Just…” He shrugged and poured water over my stomach and cock. “With added benefits.”
Let’s discuss those.
“Such as?”
He hummed. “You’ll find that you wanna spend the night at my house all the time, of course—until it makes no sense for you to keep your condo. There’s space for Alex too.”
I smiled.
“A shit-ton of sex,” he added. “Don’t worry, I’ll bend over for you too.”
He made me chuckle.
Fuck, it felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders, and I could hardly believe this might be my future. To think, we could share a bed every night and always be together? Cook dinner together, catch games on the couch together—without the plan of my going home at the end of the night.
He cleared his throat and twirled a finger. “Turn around.”
Fine.
I had a feeling I knew what he wanted. I turned around and grabbed the railing.
“Good boy.” He smacked my ass.
I rolled my eyes and ignored the twinge of fuck-me-that-stung. Apparently, he just needed to go near my ass for it to hurt.
“You’re gonna have to set the limits when it comes to playing with others,” he said, quieter now. And I suddenly didn’t like the topic. “If it were up to me, we’d be 100% monogamous, and all play with others would be nonsexual.”
I furrowed my brow and looked at him over my shoulder. “I’m not poly, Reid. Nor am I interested in sharing you. Nonsexual play with others sounds great, but nothing more.”
He flashed an uncharacteristically bashful smile. “Yeah?”
I nodded once, thinking back on all the times we’d had someone between us. Talk about bittersweet. I’d taken what I’d been given, at the same time as it’d pained me more to see him fuck others.
I winced through a wave of both relief and hurt when he poured water between my ass cheeks. Thankfully, he was careful. His fingers brushed over my opening, and I shuddered. One part wanted more, and the other was far from ready.
“Are you done inspecting my ass? I kinda wanna cuddle,” I said.
I knew the seating area could be converted into a sunbed.
“Kinda wanna?” He smirked into the kiss he pressed to my spine. “That doesn’t sound like worship to me. I wanna hear you beg to be near me.”
I grinned to myself, and a fuck you was resting on the tip of my tongue. Along with an “I regret everything.” But he’d see that coming. So, no. I turned around instead, and I gathered his arms around my neck.
His smirk was still there.
“Please, Reid.” I leaned in and kissed him chastely as I reached down and palmed his ass. “Please share that sunbed over there with me—and spend the night convincing me that my lost dream is about to come true. That this is really happening.” I smiled when his cockiness faded. “That’s all I want. A life with you. Always being close to you, always sharing everything with you. Calling you mine.”
Not a trace of humor lingered in his eyes.
I kissed him again, and he managed a nod.
“I guess I can do that,” he murmured.
I believed him. After all, he’d told me what I was.
His.