Chapter 18 Noelle
NOELLE
Bishop’s calmness created a storm of emotion in my belly.
He unraveled the roll of lighted garland and glanced toward the clubhouse door.
“Wasn’t my idea. Rafe was on a ladder stringing lights when I drove up this morning.”
“Really?” I had no doubt Bishop told me the truth, but it seemed so impossible that I questioned him anyway.
He concentrated on wrapping the garland around a section of the porch railing instead of looking at me. “Really.”
I couldn’t help it. I leaped toward the door and burst into the clubhouse.
I had a few minutes to spare before I’d be late for my meeting with the captain.
I stopped in my tracks when the smell of pine invaded my senses.
Rafe stood in front of an enormous Christmas tree that stretched all the way to the ceiling.
He held a string of lights in his hand, and his face… good God, his expression held so much bewilderment, I choked up.
“Rafe?”
He whirled to face me and he resumed his typical non-expression of drawn down eyebrows and flat lips. “What?”
“Did you decorate because of me?” I should ask anything else, but again, I had no choice.
My brain and my mouth and my heart were all separate entities as all three tried to figure out what the hell was happening.
He tossed the strand of lights into an overflowing box of new decorations still in their packaging. “Figured the kids would like it.”
The hell with it.
I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight.
My lips found his, and I poured out my thanks in the press of flesh on flesh.
What had started as a spark of attraction bloomed into something so extravagant and impossible, it made my chest ache and turned my throat dry.
Seeing his soft side—and Ash’s and Bishop’s—took away my reluctance.
They were so much more than the act they put on every day.
They’d claimed my body.
I’d given it to them freely, but this was so much more.
This was a melting of the walls around my heart, an acceptance I had no idea how to stop, or if I even wanted it to stop.
Three incredible men with hearts of gold pretended to be the biggest hard asses in the county.
Rafe locked my head in place and plundered my mouth with his tongue.
I met him on even ground, giving as much as I took.
When he ended the kiss, we were both breathless and flushed.
He pushed my hair away from my cheeks and kissed my forehead. “If you keep kissing me like that, I might just have to keep you on your back for the rest of the afternoon.”
“Sounds like a good time to me.” I wrinkled my nose and sighed as I stepped back. “But I can’t stay. I have an appointment in town.”
I had an excuse ready this time if he asked.
I fought my urge to say fuck it to my captain and stay here.
Why did I feel more at home in the clubhouse than I ever had in the bullpen with my fellow detectives?
Because these men treated me with respect.
They never called me names or made me feel like I was less than them because of my size or because I was a woman.
They cherished my body and made me giddy with pleasure.
And still, I made the decision to meet with my captain because it was my job.
My career hinged on meeting his demands and bringing information about the Steel Vipers’ illicit activities to light.
I fought down the rush of giddy feelings that Rafe caused and brushed my hands down his chest. “Thank you for decorating. No matter why you did it, I’m glad.”
“You’ll be back for the Christmas drive?” He gripped my wrists and held me close enough for the storm in his eyes to cause a matching whirl in my stomach.
I nodded, my throat too thick for words.
Of course I’d come back for the Christmas drive. I wouldn’t miss anything to do with Christmas.
But first, I hauled my sorry ass back down to reality.
After missing my meeting with my contact because of the storm, I’d been summoned to the captain’s office, and no amount of fast talking was going to change his mind.
If I had time, I’d let Rafe haul me upstairs for some fun, but that would have to wait.
He squeezed my wrists. “Be careful.”
The fact that he let me go without questioning where I was going or why I’d stopped by haunted me the entire drive to the precinct.
I walked across the lacquered floor with my head held high and my eyes locked on Captain Delaney’s open door.
The brass nameplate never looked so intimidating.
“Hey, Detective.” Detective Pierce catcalled me from his desk in the corner. “That was quite an earful the other night.”
Quincy, another detective who’d shown nothing but derision for me since my arrival, sniffed hard. “Those idiots must be on drugs. No way they’d be into all that.” He motioned toward me with a sneer.
My eyes burned and my hands tried to curl into fists.
I forced levity into my strides and controlled my expression.
If I said anything in response to their taunts, they’d call me emotional and say I had no business working as a detective if I couldn’t control myself.
Nothing I said or did mattered.
Unlike when I spent time with the Steel Vipers.
The contrast was startling, and I hated that the people I worked with were the exact type of men who gave all men a bad name.
Meanwhile, Rafe, Ash, and Bishop treated me with respect.
What had my life come to that I would rather spend time with a motorcycle gang than my own colleagues?
For all their rough edges and lawless appearances, the club had done more to help the community than anyone in this room.
Including me.
I’d allowed my stereotypical view of the world to color my beliefs.
Well, the rose-colored glasses were well and truly off.
Three more detectives chimed in, groaning and rocking their hips toward me.
As if I would ever give them a chance to touch me.
I strode into the captain’s office and stood with my hands clasped loosely in front of me.
I still wore my jeans, boots, and sweater, but I’d thrown a long brown trench coat over the ensemble to give a modicum of respect to my superior.
Whether he deserved it or not.
“Noelle.” Captain Delaney barely looked up from the file on his desk. “Close the door.”
“Yes, sir.” I did as he ordered and continued to wait.
When he looked up, he stared past me, locking his gaze on something over my head.
Great, he couldn’t even look me in the face. “I’ve had some troubling reports about your conduct.”
He cleared his throat. “While it is imperative to maintain your cover during this operation, there is no excuse for missing your meetings.”
“Actually, leaving for my meeting would have blown my cover.” I remained standing and stared directly at the man I’d once respected.
“How?” He laced his fingers and set his hands on top of the file. “What in the seven hells could have kept you from passing off information to your contact?”
“The storm.” I locked my shoulders to keep from shrugging.
There could be no uncertainty in my body language. “If I’d insisted on leaving during the worst storm of the year, they would have been suspicious.”
Captain Delaney’s eyebrows drew down even further.
It was a wonder the man could see at all. “And the other?”
He tapped his clasped hands on the file. “I have printouts of your recent transmissions. It’s… disturbing.”
A rush of anger so potent I could have easily turned into a fire-breathing dragon threatened to send me across the desk to shake the insufferable man.
“You told me to do whatever it took.”
The low, controlled tone must have surprised him, because he finally met my eyes.
“You have failed to successfully send a man in. That’s why you allowed me to try.
I’m sure you thought I would fail as well and you’d finally be able to consider me a washout as a detective and send me on my way. But I’m in.”
Damn him.
Damn all of them for being so selfish and condescending that they could not see my value.
Damn them for making my life a living hell.
“All I ever wanted was to be a detective. I worked my ass off to be here, and I deserve this chance as much as anyone else.”
More than anyone else.
“I put up with their bullshit every day. I listen to them make rude comments and snide remarks because I have tits and a vagina. And I see you sit in here, listening but never correcting them. This is my shot, and you’re going to let me shoot it.”
I’d never spoken to him, or anyone else, like this.
But I’d be damned to the darkest pits of hell before I let him pull me off this case because of my conduct when his little pets ran around acting worse than criminals and he didn’t say a damned fucking word.
“Noel—”
“It’s Detective.” I bit out the words between clenched teeth. “You call every single fucking man in this building Detective. You’ll do the same for me.”
His face went crimson. “Be that as it may, there’s still the issue of your recent transmissions.”
“I’m doing my job.” I controlled my voice and willed my hands to stop clenching into fists. “You can try and condemn me for what you heard on the wire, but what I’m doing is working. I’m doing what has to be done to ensure they don’t kick me out.”
They nearly did that first night.
I hesitated to bring that up, knowing he’d use it against me.
The red stain on his cheeks spread across his face.
Captain Delaney stood. “Want me to add disrespectful and insubordinate to your file?”
“Only if you want me to add it to yours.” A thrill of power raced through me.
He needed me for this job.
He’d never willingly say it out loud, but it was true either way.
An image of Rafe’s pretend cruelty popped into my head.
None of them would treat me this way.
And none of them would let anyone treat them with such disrespect.
What if by staying silent, I was accepting their behavior?
My silence allowed them to continue to harass me because there were no repercussions for their actions.
That shit stopped right fucking now.
Captain Delaney spluttered.
He pointed a fat finger in my face.
Glaring at him with narrowed eyes, I smacked it away. “If you wouldn’t do that to one of those men out there, don’t you fucking dare point at me like I’m some child to be reprimanded.”
“I could have you removed from this case.” He grabbed the black phone on the corner of his desk. “One phone call and you’d never work here again.”
“Take me off the case and you’ll never get the information you want.” It took all my control not to gloat in his sweaty face.
He chewed on air, his flabby jaws working as he glared.
I remained in control and secure in what I’d said and done.
I’d had enough of them running roughshod over me.
“I want concrete evidence. Soon.” He stabbed a finger into the desk and leaned toward me. “Nothing less. That’s the only way you stay in this department.”
“Yes, sir.” I turned on my heel and exited the office.
Dread roiled in my gut.
How was I supposed to convict Rafe and the others?
Good deeds did not outweigh criminal activity.
Could I do what needed to be done if I discovered they were breaking the law?
“Hey, Noelle.” Clancy was waiting for me outside the office. He grabbed his crotch and pumped his hips. “Got something for ya.”
“Hey, Clancy, your wife called. She wants to know if you’d learn something from my transcripts. Like maybe you could make her come every once in a while instead of giving her a thirty-second dry hump.” I turned left at my desk and walked straight out the door.
Shouts and laughter followed me, but over it all, I heard Clancy’s cursing and a smile spread across my face.
Yeah, I was so done with their bullshit.