Chapter Twenty-Five
W ith this ring, I thee wed .
John’s own words seemed to resound in his heart that night aboard the Swallow , ship resupplied and ready to sail.
They rested in his sleeping platform on the floor, exhausted in a pleasing fashion after another round of mutual satisfaction, he who had lain for years on a fallow field, she relishing the newness.
‘Moderation, moderation,’ his Presbyterian minister had preached in faraway Kirkcudbright, his ancestral home. ‘The Lord God Almighty loves effort and hard work. Pleasures are fleeting.’
After this night with Anna in his arms, he couldn’t disagree more.
Pleasure was here to stay, and high time.
How could he ever explain to this dear creature, sleeping beside him, that he had been so tired since Trafalgar?
It was exhaustion of the soul, made worse on shore by the guilt of finding his son nearly abandoned.
His thoughts turned melancholy. What if I hadn’t knocked on her door? he asked himself. No, it was best to dismiss that thought. He knew how, and he tried it, with Anna so close, her leg thrown over his. He put his hands over his own eyes, something done before to him, years ago.
He hadn’t meant to waken his sleeping wife. ‘John, is something the matter?’ she asked. ‘A nightmare?’
‘Oh, no, I…’
What was there about this calm lady he had married because he’d had to? Even now, her hair a mess and her nightgown somewhere else, she radiated serenity where none was to be had, not with their nation at war.
‘Tell me, please.’
He did, making it a brief story of his ship in the South Pacific coming across the foundering wreck of another frigate. He’d still been a midshipman, unused to the sight of so much death, rendered even more sad in such a lonely spot with no help in sight.
In the telling, Anna moved closer, her flesh warm and comforting. Bolstered by her kindness, he told her how his captain had put his own hands over his weeping midshipman’s eyes.
John took a deep breath and another. ‘I was so embarrassed, wondering what my captain thought of me. He told me, “Sometimes this is all you can do, and then you must forget, or it will destroy you”.’
Why did he have to tell Anna that ? She was silent, and he wondered if she had changed her opinion of him, whatever that was. How would he know? He might as well spill it all.
‘So many times…too many times…in the last ten years, I have put my hands over my own eyes.’
He held his breath and then nearly died from delight when she firmly pressed her hands over his eyes. ‘Do you not remember that I did this to you that night you knocked on my door?’
Oh, God, she had. ‘How could I have forgotten that?’
She took her hands away. ‘What a night that was! Only ask, John. Or don’t ask. I will know. I trust you will, too, if ever I need your hands over my eyes.’
He slept in her arms most soundly until morning and eight bells. He wanted her again, but he knew duty called. She only smiled at him. ‘We’ll keep. Go and be a captain.’
They sailed from Gibraltar on good winds. Anna knew now to ask permission to come onto the quarterdeck, which her husband gladly gave. He seated her in the wonderful canvas chair and she promptly fell asleep, worn out from little sleep.
The blast of the bosun’s pipe jerked her wide awake. She looked around, frightened, then relaxed as Mr Marsing gave her a hands-down sign. Where was John?
‘Ma’am, he just had the bosun pipe Assembly,’ the lieutenant said.
‘Assembly?’
‘Ma’am, he does something I’ve never seen another captain do.’ He looked skyward, perhaps wondering if he was betraying a confidence, then plunged ahead. ‘Some day if I ever captain a ship, I will do the same thing.’
‘Which is…’
‘He’s going to read Admiral Collingwood’s orders out loud, so everyone knows what we will be doing on the Swallow .’
‘Don’t all captains do that?’
‘Precious few. I know other officers and crew who would happily sail on the Swallow , simply because of him. He treats us as equals,’ he said, his voice soft, almost in awe. ‘Some things must remain secret, but he has an instinct about what can be said for the benefit of all.’
‘I believe I would do that, too,’ she told him, then felt the warmth rising from her neck. ‘As if we ladies would ever command anything. Maybe when Hades becomes the North Pole.’
Mr Marsing laughed, which made a deckhand stare in awe. ‘Aha, ma’am! You’re a plain speaker like the Old Ma… Captain Beattie.’
‘So was my brother,’ she said softly. ‘Will was just as bad.’
‘I remember,’ Mr Marsing said, at ease now. ‘I miss him, too. I have big shoes to fill, ma’am.’
I expect you are filling them very well , she thought, but knew better than to say that out loud, considering that he would get all rosy again, which couldn’t help the dignity an officer needed, especially as sailors were now assembling below the quarterdeck.
John joined them, with a smile for her and a nod to Mr Marsing. He walked to the rail, balancing nicely, as in charge as if he were the Lord God Almighty. What is it about these men? she asked herself.
‘Thank you for assembling, men,’ he said, his voice carrying. He held up Admiral Collingwood’s orders. ‘Would you like to know what we’ll be doing out here in this marvellous sea…um…besides amusing me?’
She blushed when the men laughed, then found herself laughing, too.
This was no time or place to be a reticent, superior ogre in skirts.
To her amazement and humility, she felt a sudden bond with the crew, something she’d never anticipated.
It might have been there all along, considering her brother’s connection to the Swallow .
‘Let me be clear about these orders,’ John continued, his voice firm. ‘They are not repeated ashore. Our duty is to hunt down La Guerre , a French sloop of war labouring under the misapprehension that the French still rule our sea!’
He bowed when they cheered at that. Anna sat back, stirred to her heart.
‘Men, La Guerre is a pest, a nuisance and a disruption, diligently involved in bullying smaller ships, especially our Fast Dispatch Vessels, and the sorely tried Jaunty . It must stop.’
He looked around, gesturing large. ‘Crew, I call this a plum assignment. We can rove at will in search of the foe, who might be planning other surprises for us. Admiral Collingwood states in his orders that we will be based at Port Mahon on Menorca, where we will conduct ourselves like gentlemen when ashore.’
Anna smiled at that, noticing the grins.
She also noticed several nods of agreement at his next words.
‘I wish to forge a working relationship with the Hartford , a nimble ship like ours. The Yankees have taken a liking to North Africa—you know of the treaty they recently made with those Tripolitan scoundrels.’
He turned to Anna and doffed his hat in salute. She inclined her head, reluctant to be noticed, but aware how hard she was to overlook, the sole female aboard.
‘As you know, my lady wife sailed on the Jaunty , which was attacked by La Guerre , and saved from destruction by the Hartford . As for the Yankees, let us be aware who our friends might be.’ He gestured to the sailing master, standing near the railing.
‘Master Lyon, resume our course for the Queen , and then Port Mahon. That is all, men. As you were.’