19. Gemma
No more being the second choice. Tonight, Elijah Milton will learn that I refuse to be his little gem... I mean plaything.
“Good evening.” The receptionist looks up as I approach.
“Hello.”
“How may I help you?”
I lean against the counter. “I’m here to see Mr. Milton.”
She arches an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re here to see Mr. Milton? Is he expecting you? You seem..”
“Yes, I’m sure, and no, he’s not expecting me. But he will see me.” I don’t care if I have to walk up the stairs to get to him.
“What is your name?”
“Gemma.”
I watch her fingers hover above the phone before picking it up and dialing.
“Yes. Hello, Mr. Milton. Please excuse the late disturbance. A lady is here to see you. Name. Gemma.” She turns away from me, murmuring into the receiver too low for me to make out.
After a few seconds, she hangs up and faces me again. “Mr. Milton will see you now. Penthouse floor.” She gestures toward the elevators.
“Thank you.” I push away from the counter and walk over to the elevator. Stepping inside, I press the button for the penthouse, feeling like I’m in some kind of thrilling movie scene, except that there’s no script this time.
My fingers tap against my thigh, keeping the same rhythm as the soft music playing in the elevator.
The whiskey roils in my gut as the floors tick by. What am I doing? How will he react?
Elijah won’t leave Esther for me. After all, Esther had said it herself. I’m nothing more than a distraction, a plaything, and she’s right. He won’t choose me. Why should he? Oliver didn’t.
I blink away the tears threatening to form.
Elijah needs to understand that we can’t go on like this, treating me as something he can toy with while his fiancé looks the other way. I deserve better than that.
I clench my fists, running through all the biting remarks I’ve rehearsed in my head in the cab. Does he think he can treat me like some disposable plaything? Well, I’ll give that smug bastard a piece of my mind.
The elevator comes to a smooth stop. Now or never. The doors slide open to reveal an empty foyer.
Elijah isn’t here.
I step into the dark apartment, the faint city lights filtering through the floor-to-ceiling windows providing the only illumination.
“Elijah?” No response.
I make my way further inside. As I enter what appears to be the living room, I see a figure standing by the windows, back turned to me. Broad shoulders, dark hair... it’s him.
“Elijah.”
He turns, giving me that sexy, stupid smile. Dressed only in low-slung sweatpants, his chiseled abs are on full display. Shit... My eyes drift down, drinking in every inch of the defined ridges of his torso and the v-cut disappearing beneath the waistband.
Elijah closes the distance between us with a few strides. “See something you like, my gem?”
I force my eyes upward, away from his stupidly ripped physique. How does he even do that? 24/7 at the gym?
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
Elijah chuckles. “Hard not to when you are eye-fucking me like that.”
Heat creeps up my neck at his crude remark. “I’m not.”
He arches a brow, his gaze roaming over me in a way that makes me feel stripped bare. “Couldn’t stay away, could you?”
“I’m here to talk.” The words tumble out, more defensive than I intend. “We’re done. Whatever this twisted game is, I want no part of it.”
Elijah’s expression sobers as he takes a step closer. His broad chest is mere inches from my face now, the scent of his smoky cologne filling my nose.
“We’re not done until I say we’re done.”
Dammit, why does that turn me on?
“You’ve been ignoring my texts, my calls.” His eyes bore into mine with intense focus. “I thought I made it clear you’re not allowed to run from me anymore.”
“You don’t own me. I’m not gonna be your little plaything.”
His eyes flash. “So Esther got to you, huh? Filled your head with her bullshit? That jealous bitch will say anything to drive a wedge between us.”
“I’m not some naive little girl.”
“I told you, she means nothing to me. This thing with Esther, it’s business.”
“Don’t try to smooth-talk your way out of this.” I jab a finger at his bare chest, relishing the way his muscles twitch under my touch. Ugh, concentrate. “I’m done being jerked around by you.”
He doesn’t back away. If anything, he leans in. “Is that so?”
“Don’t come any closer.” My voice wavers as I fight the dizzying urge to let my hands roam over those sculpted abs, pulling him closer and digging my nails into his shoulders while he...
“Or what, my gem? You gonna punish me?”
I narrow my eyes. “From now on, it’s strictly business between us. No more games, no more fucking around.”
“You know damn well this isn’t a game to me,” Elijah says. “Have you been drinking?”
I shake my head, but it’s an obvious lie. The smell of whiskey is wafting off of me at this point.
He grasps the back of my neck and crushes his lips against mine. I let out a startled gasp, which allows his tongue to plunge inside, claiming my mouth. Hungrily. Fiercely. My knees go weak, any shred of resistance melting away as I cling to his broad shoulders to stay upright.
I meant to yell, to rage, but now… the rough drag of his stubble, the firm planes of his chest pressing against my softer curves, the scorching heat of his rough hands grasping my hips to pull me flush against him, my anger melts away. I’m powerless, only wanting more...
By the time he finally breaks for air, I’m panting and flushed, my body humming with desire.
“Still just business?” he rasps against my swollen lips.
Shut up and keep kissing me.
Elijah trails his mouth along my jaw, nipping as he descends to my neck. I tip my head back, eyes fluttering shut, and a small moan escapes me as his teeth graze my skin. He nuzzles the tender spot beneath my ear.
“I dare you to say it again.”
I can’t because... it never feels like only business. And it never will. Not with the way my body craves his touch, the way my core clenches at his mere proximity.
My breath hitches as his hands slip under my shirt, palms skimming along my waist. I can’t win against him. Arousal and shame churning inside me.
“That’s what I thought.” His fingertips dance close to the underside of my bra.
I know I should stop this. Push him away and storm out like I intended. But God help me. I can’t bring myself to end it. Not when every nerve in my body screams for more of his touch. More of him.
Elijah’s thumbs brush the underside of my breasts, wrenching another breathy moan from my lips.
“You want this. Want me.” It’s not a question.
Don’t. Do not give in. “Yes.” The admission bursts out, uncontrollable and unrestrained.
He growls and claims my mouth again. I cling to him, kissing him back, my body overruling all rational thoughts.
Elijah backs me against the wall, hands digging into my skin.
Somewhere in the lust-fogged recesses of my mind, I know this is wrong. Reckless. He’s engaged, for God’s sake.
I put a hand on his chest. “Would you break it off with Esther if I asked you to?”
Elijah’s hands halt. “Why do you ask that?”
“Just answer the question. Please.”
A muscle ticks in his chiseled jaw, but he doesn’t respond.
“I see.” I peer down.
“It’s not that simple.”
My gaze snaps back to his. “Why? Because she can give you some bullshit marriage alliance?” I shove his chest in frustration, but he doesn’t budge.
“You got plans to walk down the aisle anytime soon?”
“Is that all you care about? Finding the next Mrs. Milton to put on display?”
Elijah grabs my wrists, his eyes blazing. “You know it’s more complicated than that.”
I wrench out of his hold. Losing his touch is like a shock of cold water. “Oh, I know exactly how this works. You’ll toss me aside the second you get bored, just like you’re doing with Esther now.” My voice cracks. “And I’ll be another warm body you used.”
“Don’t make random assumptions.”
“I’m trying to understand. If you get bored with me, would you… exchange me?”
“I won’t get bored with you.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“You knew my situation from the start. I was upfront about that.”
He’s right. I can’t argue with that fact. But it does nothing to dull the pain in my chest.
“You don’t get to do that. Make me fall for you when you never planned to choose me.”
Elijah’s brows furrow. “Fall for me? What are you talking about?”
The words tumble out in a rush. “Crashing my date, introducing me to your dad, making me believe you actually cared...”
“You’re not falling for me.” Elijah’s voice is hard.
A mirthless laugh escapes me. “Not anymore. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to care about you.”
A traitorous tear slips down my cheek, and I swipe it away.
“But I do, damn it. You…” My lip trembles. “You are my inspiration for the designs.”
For a long moment, he just looks at me. Really looks. Like he’s seeing me, truly seeing me, for the first time.
“Gem…” He reaches for me, but I slap his hand away.
“Don’t touch me. Just... don’t.” Because if he does, my mind goes blank, and I need to talk to him. I need to get this off my chest.
There’s no use holding back anymore.
“It was the first night we had. Because you made me feel so alive, and today…” My voice cracks. “We even finished the collection. My first thought was to show it to you. But I don’t want to do this when another woman is going to be your wife.”
Elijah frowns. “I need a fiancé. I told you why.”
“I don’t think your father meant this. A loveless marriage.” I blink back tears. “I think your father wanted to see you genuinely happy. To see that in the end, you’re okay because he can’t watch over you anymore.”
He’s frozen, a statue.
“What happened to you? That you’re doing this? That you rather push me away than let me in?”
I search his face for any sign that he feels even a fraction of what I do.
Please, tell me. Whatever it is. Give me an explanation.
Choose me. Please.
Show me any reaction that you care.
Anything.
But he doesn’t. His expression is composed, those stormy eyes betraying nothing.
“I’m done.” My shoulders slump in defeat. “Congratulations on your engagement. I wish you both the happiness you deserve.”
I pivot and walk to the elevator on shaky legs, hoping with every step that Elijah will stop me. That he’ll call out my name and tell me not to go. That we can figure this out together.
The elevator doors slide open. I step inside, staring ahead.
Please.
I press the button for the lobby. Hot tears trickle down my cheeks. The door seals shut, and something inside me… breaks.
It’s over. Something that never even started is over. I slump against the wall of the elevator, eyes burning.
Stupid. I made myself so vulnerable. Confessed feelings I’ve barely admitted to myself. Nevertheless, he remains a locked box I can’t seem to crack open.
I am not and never will be Elijah’s first choice. I’ve been so naive, like with Oliver.