Chapter 24
Chapter
Twenty-Four
“Ihate being stuck in this bed.” Grayson stares with a forlorn melancholy, pathetic enough I stifle a laugh.
“A few more days and you’ll be good to go.” I stroke my fingers along the top of his hand. “You forget how weak you are until you try to walk again. It’s like the flu. You’ll go all dizzy and end up falling ass over head.”
He groans. “I swear, if you tease me again about falling on my way to the bathroom—”
“I’m not going to.” I swallow down another giggle. “Although it was really funny to watch you crumble. And the sound you made! I’ll never forget it.”
“No, you’ll never let me live it down. There’s a difference.”
I figure I’ll save those teasing moments for special occasions, if I need to find the upper hand or he ticks me off, but I keep the thought to myself.
He hasn’t shaken my hand free yet. I keep expecting him to, for some reason.
The low building sits on a plot of land near the outskirts of town but surrounded by enough maintained landscape to make it feel like part of the community.
And the deed is held solely by one man, who turned the empty interior into a makeshift care unit and hospital. Colt.
Apparently vampire princes have more money than they want people to know about, and we’re lucky to be on the receiving end of it. His goodwill allowed us the space for as long as we need, to allow the rest of the moon-mad wolves to recover.
Boy, did we need it.
When I’d shifted back to human, my leg wound had healed. The change into alpha smoothed out my skin like none of the injuries happened.
I made sure I was the last to receive the cure.
Then, working through the night, we got the rest of the injured under control and came up with a plan.
By the end of the day, with help from hired hands who didn’t require us to ask their names, we had the space settled. Supplies were delivered hours later while the witches dropped from exhaustion and the vampires slept.
I oversaw the arrangement of the room.
So what if I gave Grayson the best seat in the house?
His cot overlooked a row of windows and the view of the gardens between this building and its neighbor.
The survivors needed a safe space to acclimate to being normal again. Those of us who survived, anyway.
“You’ve got those lines between your eyes again,” Grayson murmurs. He squeezes my hand. “You’re thinking too hard.”
I shrug. “The ones who weren’t so lucky…I wish there was something we could have done for them sooner. Before—”
“You’ll drive yourself crazy if you worry about it. You did the best you could.” His eyes shone. “You saved me, Mandi. And more importantly, you saved yourself. I thought I was proud of you before, but seeing what you’ve been able to accomplish, holy shit.”
My wolf prowls beneath the surface of my skin and pushes higher at his words, his compliment. “I did what anyone would do. And you’re selling yourself short again. We never would have made it this far without you.”
His smile widens and he settles against the mountain of pillows. He has more than the others, which makes me suspect Holly has been here, sneaking him extra supplies.
“Or maybe I’m trying to remind you of what’s important. You’re giving to everyone else, but you’ve never given to yourself. Now is the time to remember you’re important too. You need sleep, love.”
The same electric zing I’ve always felt at his touch sends sparks through my system with the name.
“I will,” I say. “When everyone else is fine. I know my limits.”
“I’m not sure you do.” His eyes darken with concern and humor. “Lucky for me I get to be around to remind you. I—”
A throat clears but it takes several seconds longer for the spell to shatter and for me to pull my attention away from Grayson.
Shock fuses my bones together. Dad stands in the doorway of the care unit.
His gaze sweeps the room, the cots filled with bodies of innocent, normal werewolves talking in low voices to the other healers and nurses we brought in to care for them.
The same werewolves he’d planned to execute.
I swallow down my anxiety and pull my hand to my side. “I’ll be right back.”
“Take your time,” Grayson replies. “I’ll be here. You and your dad need your moment.”
He’s not going anywhere until he’s healed. And while I wait for the day he’s finally whole, I have a few things left to do.
Days have passed since the last time I saw my father and he submitted to me. I wonder if he’s taken the time to process what happened the same way I have.
Has he come to terms with me being an alpha? Because I haven’t. Not yet.
I approach Dad on steady legs and stop with feet to spare. “I never expected you to come.”
Dark circles brush like a painter’s sweep of color above his cheekbones. The lines around his face and mouth are deeper now, and his hair lacks the luster I’m used to seeing.
“Neither did I,” he says in an undertone. “All these survivors…”
“That’s what they are. Survivors. Innocents. There was a way to save them and we found it.” I sweep my arm out to encompass them.
“You’re right. I turned my back on them.” Our gazes lock. “I turned my back on you.”
He jerks his head toward the door and I steal another deep breath, preparing myself for whatever he wants to say.
This moment has been a long time coming. And for years I practiced what I’d say to Dad if we had this opportunity. Whether I’d stayed moonlocked or not, the core of the conversation never changed. I’d bent over backwards for other people’s expectations for too long.
I’m not moonlocked anymore.
Dad stands aside to let me go first, a move that isn’t lost on me. Squaring my shoulders, I head out into the blinding sunlight and the warm breath of approaching summer on the wind.
Life continues no matter what struggles we’re personally going through.
Doesn’t it?
For the first time in memory, Dad’s at a loss for words. We stand in the sunlight as the moment stretches and strains, my own words swirling in my head but none of them making it out.
“I’m sorry.” He’s the first to speak. “I’m sorry for everything you went through at my hands. I’m sorry for making the mistakes I did, and hurting you.”
Out of all the arguments I expected from him, an apology never featured among them. “Dad—”
“You’re an alpha, Mandi. And you’re my daughter. The second is more important than the first, and I’m sorry for thinking you were anything less for being moonlocked.”
He slides his hands into his pockets.
All any of us can do is our best. I had no doubt my father did his best, but he also had generations of tradition on his shoulders, the teachings of alphas and elders past telling him how to think, how to act. How to protect the people he cares about.
“I was a liability for you.” My shrug is a defense mechanism.
The second I realize it, I force my posture straight.
“You’re my daughter. Nothing else should have mattered. I treated you as less than and there’s no excuse for it, Mandi, absolutely none. You showed heart and compassion when life tried to beat it out of you. And I’m sorry for not trusting you about Grayson.”
My heart flutters at the mention but I press my lips tight, not trusting myself to stay composed.
“You’ve always been stronger than me.” Dad pulls me into a hug.
Seconds tick before I return it, breathing in his familiar scent, the weight of his arms keeping me contained. Oh.
Shit.
“I love you, honey. You’re the leader the Ironwood pack deserves.”
I clutch him closer. “I don’t know how to lead.”
“We have time. I’ll…teach you, if you like. We can do it together.”
Dad’s passing the alpha torch to me. Kinda. Sorta. And instead of worrying, the knot in my chest eases.
“I do have a few ideas,” I mutter to him.
He chuckles. “I thought you would. Now, go tend to your young man. I’m excited to see where that beautiful heart of yours will take you.” He steps aside. “But please come see us soon. Okay? Don’t stay away for too long because of an old man’s mistakes.”
Dad glances through the door to the open room where Grayson is stirring, impatient, on his cot.
“I think you two deserve a little privacy first, though. To figure out exactly who you want to be.”
He kisses the top of my head and I stand rooted to the spot as he walks off, his hands in his pockets.
None of the things I thought I’d say to him made it to light. They don’t need to, not yet. There’s time for us. I’m not sure if we would have had this time if I hadn’t rejected everything I’d been taught to want.
Crazy, how those things work.
I’d missed my family and the routine we used to have with each other, the comfort of our neat and ordered life.
Every choice I made risked taking me farther from them. What could I do now? What could I be now, with this opportunity?
An alpha?
I didn’t want it, not yet. But maybe I could one day. Once I got to see the world and how I fit in it. Me, through a different lens.
My pulse picks up at the prospect. The adrenaline in my system hasn’t settled yet. Dregs of it slow release like I’m waiting for the next bad thing to happen.
I am.
Life hasn’t shown me otherwise.
But when I look at Grayson and find him watching me with a small smile, when he points to the place between his eyebrows where I know my own lines have deepened, I think…
It might be different now.
Finally.
“I’m working on it,” I say proactively on my approach.
“Are you sure?”
“As sure as I am you’re working on healing.”
He holds his hands up in mock surrender. “Point taken. I’m not used to being stationary for so long.”
I settle on the edge of his cot with our knees touching. “Not when we’ve been on the run for the last ten thousand years.”
“I’m pretty sure it was only a week or so, but what the hell do I know?”
I reach behind him to fluff pillow mountain and help him adjust for optimal comfort.
“Mandi.” My name lands hot. “You don’t have to keep doing this. You don’t have to take care of me anymore.”
I force myself back, a blush rising when I realize I’d almost pushed my boobs right into his face. “I don’t know what else to do with myself.”
“Anything you want. You could actually pick up a hobby.”
“Hobbies aren’t really my thing.” I blink, mind scrambling to figure out what I actually like.
“But they could be. Hobbies are kinda everyone’s thing.”
I like it when he teases me this way.
As though I actually mean something to him. As though we might be something beyond this point where he doesn’t need me anymore.
Almost like he can read my mind, Grayson holds his hand out, palm facing the ceiling. Waiting for me.
Caution moves me when I don’t want it to, but I hesitate before settling my hand on top of his.
“There’s more to you than what you can do for someone else. Do you really think, now that we’re cured, things will go back to the way they were before we met?” he asks.
“Yes.” This time, there’s no hesitation. “You have college waiting for you. You have friends and a life and parents who are worried about you, I’m sure.”
“Do you want me to forget about this? About you? I remember what you said before the attack.”
There’s a decision in his words, a weight to them, but not for him to figure out. For me. The same spark snaps where our skin connects. But what does it mean?
What do I want it to mean?
“I don’t want you to forget.” I’ve already spoken some truth today. “You told me you chose me.”
The cost of speaking it all might break me, but at this point I’m so done worrying about it.
“Because I do.”
I scoot closer and the rest of the room fades. “I want to see if we can actually make something of this thing between us. I’ve felt it from the moment I met you, Grayson. I wasn’t sure what to call it but I am now.”
It’s tempting to duck my head and hide my expression from him. There’s too much vulnerability in direct eye contact.
“What is it?” he whispers.
It’s too early to be love. But it’s more than like, it’s more than a crush. “Fierce devotion,” I say instead. “I care about you deeply. I want to be with you.”
I’m not the only one holding my breath. “Not Jrue?” Grayson’s fingers curl and thread through mine.
“Not Jrue. It’s never been Jrue. It’s you. I’m really falling for you.”
Grayson’s exhale is a slow release. “Finally.” Then, to my surprise he lifts my hand to his mouth and brushes a toe-curling kiss across my knuckles. “I wanted to hear you actually say it.”
“You what?”
“Seems I owe myself twenty bucks. You admitted it.” He chuckles and hauls me closer.
I sprawl across his chest with a small screech but his arms band around me to keep me in place.
“You like me.” The tip of his nose brushes mine, a shiver cresting over my skin. “You want to date me.”
“And through it all I don’t hear you saying anything about me.”
“I thought it was obvious.”
The distance between us evaporates with his kiss. The moment our lips brush, everything else ceases to exist. There’s only Grayson and the scent of him, the rightness of this thing building between us.
My wolf sighs and settles, near enough to his to know she’s found a home.
Oh, yes. The word is correct. The one we both used—finally.
I lean into the kiss until his tongue brushes against mine, a tentative tease to question if I want more. I do. I want it all.
But moving too fast too soon comes with consequences and Grayson winces when I put too much weight on his still-healing chest.
“Ow. Mandi…raincheck on the make out. Please.” His eyes glow gold when I arch my spine for room. “Then, fuck, the things I’m going to do to you. Because you’re right. It’s always been you, too.”
Our sweet moment. Our love confession.
Our kiss.
The next one is a promise of things to come. Together, there’s no limit to what we can do.