Chapter 5 #2
Such a cloudy day feels appropriate for a visit to the cemetery, and Will can afford to do that now because he’s still taking time off to heal. He starts by visiting his mom’s grave. He sits on the soft grass next to her tombstone.
“Hi there, Mama.”
Unlike Julie, who is slowly fading away in front of his eyes, their mother’s death was sudden.
The road was slippery, and she hit a tree.
They needed to cut off half the car to get her out, and by the time Will and Julie were told to get to the scene, she was already gone.
He hopes she died instantly without knowing how hopeless her condition was.
When Will speaks with his mother, he lies.
She has no business knowing the things he needs to deal with while she’s up there drinking her favorite mint tea in heaven.
She doesn’t need to know that soon Julie will join her and that her stepbrother, the mayor, is still a horrible human being.
Instead of opening up about the shit in his life, he talks about things like his work, about the weather that is finally getting warmer, and about a fishing tournament on Current River he and Bradley are planning on checking out.
He briefly mentions the young man he met at Rodie’s, who seemed nice, but it’s not in their cards to be friends considering who Owen’s aunt is.
By this part of their conversation, his mother—if she were alive—would have asked about his love life. She was supportive of his relationship with Joel, though she wasn’t alive to see the dark times that followed.
“I’ll see you soon,” Will says and places a pink flower on the headstone.
He stands up and walks over to the far side of the cemetery, where Joel is buried.
He wishes to skip this part of his visit, but his guilt has been guiding his legs to Joel’s grave week after week for almost five years.
He stops at the foot of a beautiful willow, the long branches stroking the simple headstone.
A beloved son reads the engraving, and the dates make it clear a young man is buried here.
Although he visits Joel regularly, he never speaks with the man. They hadn’t really spoken during the last months of their relationship, so it feels unnecessary to do so now.
The sun is beginning to set, and Will still has to walk back home. He chose not to take his truck because he wanted to get some exercise if he’s to return to work tomorrow.
He reaches the road and makes his way toward town.
It’s impossible to see any houses with how clustered the trees are.
It’s quiet as he walks, making it easy to notice the sound of an approaching car.
He sticks to the side of the road where he shouldn’t be in anyone’s way.
Out here, there are no streetlights, forcing you to pay attention and not daydream.
Will only turns to look when he notices the car slowing down.
He shields his eyes to see through the headlights, and his stomach drops when he recognizes a police car.
He can’t see who the driver is, but he can tell there’s only one person inside.
The car slides closer until it stops next to him.
Nate lowers the passenger window and turns off the radio.
Will knows he should keep on walking, even though he promised himself long ago not to give the local police force any reason to arrest him.
“Hi there,” Nate says cheerfully.
Will sighs and leans down, his face leveled with Nate’s. The man is beaming, but Nate always has a broad smile like he’s either won a prize or has taken a happy pill.
“It’s polite to say hello, Will.”
“Hi.” His throat feels thick, and his pulse is too fast. This hyena of a man should not have this effect on him.
“You had a nice visit to the cemetery?”
“How do you know where I was?”
“Why else would you be out here?”
Will tries to relax. Last time, he was intoxicated and hazy, his brain floating in fog. He’s sharp now, in full control of his body and mind. “I’m just heading home. Have a good evening.”
“I’ll take you.”
“It’s not far. I’ll be fine.”
Nate leans closer, though there’s still distance between them. “Got anything planned for tonight?”
“To eat and sleep.”
Nate snorts. “Boring.”
“I never claimed to have an interesting life.”
“Well, I changed that a few days ago, didn’t I?”
Will’s lips twitch with anger, and his blood begins to warm. Apparently, they are going to address what happened. “I was drunk, Nate. Fucking wasted.”
“Yeah, you were.”
“Okay, then. So no point talking about it.”
“But you do remember what we did, right? Which sounds to me like you were aware just fine, and maybe not so wasted.”
“Whatever happened—”
“Was what you wanted to happen.”
Will sucks in a breath, angry that he’s unable to fully contradict Nate’s claim.
“I’m not trying to be mean,” Nate says. “I didn’t judge you when you wanted me to hurt you, and I still won’t judge when I do it all over again.
Hey! Look at me when I’m talking. You might have been drunk, but you could use your mouth just fine.
I waited for you to ask me to stop, but once you saw what I could give you, the last thing you wanted was for me to stop. ”
Will’s every nerve lies bare. “You’re wrong.”
“I’m not. I was your redemption that night, and I want to be again.”
“But I don’t.”
“Then why are you about to get into my car?”
“I’m not.” But he doesn’t walk away. He should, but he can’t. The ground beneath his feet is no longer stable.
Nate sighs. “Listen, let me make it easier for you. If you don’t enter this car right now, I’ll make it my number one priority to bring you down.
Nothing will be easier than planting drugs on you, then locking you up until we have to let you go.
No need to press charges; just make your life a living hell until your business goes under. ”
Will rubs his face, his skin hot. There are too many voices in his head, each pulling him in a different direction. He believes that Nate is capable of going through with his threat, and it’s unclear whether the sheriff would get in his way.
“I took it too far last time,” Nate says, his voice gentler. “It was new for me, too. We’ll figure out the best way for both of us to get what we want out of this. I don’t need you walking around in pain.”
“And what are you getting out of this?”
Nate shakes his head. “Like you even need to ask.” He taps the seat next to him. “Get in.”
Will looks around at the quiet road. By getting into the car with Nate, he’ll be embracing a part of himself he has never confronted and never even acknowledged.
He can do it just one more time to see whether Nate’s brutality can bring him the same peace it did last time. If it doesn’t, he’ll put an end to it.
The handle is cold when he pulls it to enter the car. He sits stiffly, feeling Nate’s smile as he watches him.
“Give me your hands.”
Will frowns at the handcuffs Nate is holding. “What are those for? I did what you wanted.”
“What I wanted was for you to get your ass inside without me needing to threaten you. These cuffs are to make it clear you’re going to see this through.”
With another wave of doubt, Will holds out his hands for Nate to cuff.
“Good boy.” He pats Will’s knee. “What a fun night we’re gonna have. Buckle up, baby!”
They hit the road with screeching tires.