Chapter 25
Owen
The weather is too nice for a funeral, Owen thinks as he sits in front of the closed casket. He hasn’t been to many funerals, but he remembers the weather being cloudy and gloomy. This sunny and bright day doesn’t feel appropriate for burying someone so special.
He wipes his eyes and tries to be strong, but he’s struggling. He sees Francie standing close by, holding a white rose. Her eyes are red, and when she sees Owen watching her, she offers a sad smile. He fails to offer one back.
There are about twenty people who have come here today to pay their respects.
Bradley and Esteban look uncomfortable in their nice suits, and Bradley’s eyes are puffy and tired.
His wife just gave birth, and Owen wishes his joy wouldn’t have to be mixed with grief.
The sheriff is also here, standing at the back.
“This day is too nice for a funeral,” his aunt says where she sits to his left. Her arm is still in the sling, but she should be removing it after her next checkup.
“Yeah, I know.”
The pastor goes to stand next to the casket, clearing his throat to get everyone’s attention.
He asks the attendees to join him in prayer, and once he’s finished, he talks about the young life that was taken too soon.
Owen tries to find comfort in the words about eternal life, but he can’t.
Words are not going to turn back time and make the world more fair.
After a few minutes, the pastor says it’s time for the next of kin to offer words of reflection and remembrance.
“You need help?” Owen asks.
Will shakes his head. He stands up carefully and walks slowly to the other side of the casket, past Julie’s photo from when she was younger, before she got sick.
He looks very handsome in his dark suit, his beard neatly trimmed for this event.
He’s still in pain after the surgery that barely saved his life, but he doesn’t let it show on his face, as if he must be strong for his sister one more time.
Owen still has flashbacks of finding Will covered in blood, as pale as a ghost. If the sheriff hadn’t made sure there would be an ambulance close by on standby, it would undoubtedly have ended with Will’s death.
“It’s strange to say goodbye to someone you’ve said goodbye to so many times in your head,” Will says, watching the casket.
Owen knows he’s not comfortable with so many eyes on him.
“I had years to prepare for this moment, and it still managed to sneak up on me.” He clears his throat and glances at his sister’s photo.
“Julie was a happy person, even when she had every reason not to be. She helped you put things into perspective, because she was the definition of a good person being dealt a bad set of cards. She deserved much better than what she got, and I hope she’s getting it now up there with our mom.
” It looks like he’s trying to keep talking, but he gives up and shakes his head.
“Thank you for coming.” He returns to his seat, grimacing silently and holding his stomach.
Owen reaches for his hand, holding it firmly as they watch the casket being lowered and disappearing from sight.
*
“The best thing about recovering from surgery is using it as an excuse to get away from things,” Will says as Owen drives them back after the funeral. They said that Will needs his rest, which gave them a pass from hosting people for the rest of the day. “And God, I hate suits.”
Owen smiles. “Too bad you look so good in them.”
“Sorry to disappoint, but it’s back to flannel from now on.” After a few minutes, Will quietly says, “I should have said more. I had more things I wanted to say.”
“If they were meant for Julie, I don’t think it matters when and where you say them.”
“You’re right.” He leans his seat back.
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes, but less when I’m lying down.”
Owen drives them across familiar roads back to town.
He’s only been here a couple of months, but Kansas City already feels like a part of his past. He rarely gets nasty looks anymore as he walks around town, whether alone or with Will.
He doesn’t know if the sheriff has had a hand in that, and it doesn’t matter.
Owen can once more see the beauty in this small community, but he still keeps his guard up.
He parks in front of Will’s house and goes to help him out of the truck.
Once inside, Owen takes off his shoes. He bought them for the funeral, and now his feet are sore.
He’s about to ask Will if he wants something to eat when he notices the distant look in his eyes.
He’s staring into space, breathing heavily.
Owen walks over and rubs Will’s back. “Let it out.”
“What?”
“Let it out, Will.”
And he does. His face contorts with sobs. Owen turns him around to lean against him, wrapping his arms around his back. Julie passed away while Will was still recovering, and he hadn’t yet had the chance to grieve properly.
“She deserved better,” Will says.
“I know, but at least she had you.” She never knew how much her brother sacrificed for her well-being, and that’s for the best.
Once Will calms down, Owen helps him out of the suit before removing his own as well.
They lie in bed, the window open with the curtains swaying in the breeze.
Owen traces the skin around Will’s healing scar with his fingers.
He shuts his eyes until the images of Will bleeding fade from his mind, but he knows they’ll return.
“It’s okay,” Will says and strokes Owen’s cheek, as if he can read his thoughts. “You’ll think about it less with time.”
“I hope so. Maybe…”
“Maybe?”
“I’d like to draw you with the scar. It’s a part of you now, and I must draw every part of you.”
“You must?”
“Yes.” He moves to sit. “Please?”
Will nods. “All right. How do you want me?”
*
Will falls asleep at some point, and still Owen draws. Every line and curve must be perfect. It feels crucial to get this right, though he’s not sure why.
Is this how I heal?
He hopes so, because the last month has been chaotic. Between Will’s slow recovery, Julie’s passing, and the testimonies they had to give about the mayor and the incident in Eminence, he’s drained to his core.
And there’s still the question floating between them.
Now that Julie’s gone, Will can finally do what he’s been planning on doing for years—get the hell out of this town.
Owen knows he would have done so already if he weren’t still recovering, despite the mayor being in custody and despite Nate being discharged from the police.
That weasel is going to testify against the mayor, which should keep him out of prison.
They didn’t get the incriminating recordings they were hoping for, but what happened to Will was enough to bring down the mayor’s house of cards.
Doctor Levi was the first to seek a deal, and others quickly followed.
Will has every reason to want out, but Owen’s history with Van Buren isn’t the same. He’s experienced the good as well as the bad. He owes a lot to this town, and he can’t help but wish to stay here. But knowing what he knows, he can’t ask Will to do that. It would be cruel and selfish.
He sighs as he puts the final touches on his drawing. He wishes for things to be as simple as putting that beautiful man on paper, but they aren’t.
They never are.
*
“Would a nice cup of tea help make you less troubled?” Francie asks while they sit behind the circulation desk. She should have left by now since this is his shift, but she started staying longer to keep him company.
“If you can pour some alcohol into it, it might.”
“This is a respectable library, Owen.”
“Is that a no?”
“I have some wine somewhere. Hold on.”
She returns a few minutes later with two cups of tea. He takes a sip, smiling at the subtle taste of red wine. “Just what the doctor ordered.”
“A naughty doctor maybe. And speaking of doctors, how is our favorite patient?”
Owen takes another sip. “Doing better. He can walk for a few minutes without pain, but he won’t be getting back to work for at least three months.”
“Will he be okay financially?”
“Yeah, he should be. Bradley took over the business for now, and I’m helping with expenses since I’m living there most of the time. Will also has insurance, and it seems that being stabbed can be worth some money.”
“And yet here you are, not looking happy.”
He puts the cup on the table and crosses his arms. “Will doesn’t want to stay here.”
“Did he tell you that?”
“A while ago, yes. Before all that shit went down.”
“Language. Maybe he changed his mind.”
Owen shakes his head. “He hasn’t. I can tell he wants to bring it up, but he’s waiting for the right time. I feel it bothers him.”
Francie nods. “That can’t be easy. And what do you want to do?”
Answering that question is the easiest thing. “I want him to be happy.”
“And can he be happy here?”
Owen shakes his head, realizing he finally knows what he must do. “No. He can’t be happy here.”
*
“I’m ordering the Salmon Club Sandwich this time,” Owen says as they park in front of By the Current. “I took the burger when we were here last time.”
“Go for it.”
“You can have a bite if you want.”
“Mighty generous of you.”
They walk into the restaurant and are seated by the river, since Owen called in advance to make a reservation.
It’s a warm evening, and the water is calm in this part of the river.
The golden lights hanging between the trees give the yard a fairyland feeling.
It’s beautiful, but Owen is too anxious to appreciate it.
He shouldn’t be, since he knows in his heart that he’s doing the right thing, but he worries he might have overstepped. He’ll find out soon enough.
They order food and make light conversation, but there’s tension between them that Owen can’t ignore. Now that Will is doing better, the excuse of waiting for his recovery becomes less relevant, leaving no real reason for him to stay.
“Can we go sit by the water until our food comes?” Owen asks.
“Sure.”
Will needs to lean on Owen so he can sit on the ground. Once they’re both seated with their feet in the water, Owen exhales, wishing he was less nervous. “I’ve been thinking.”
“I can tell. You’ve been tense for a few days now.”
“So were you.”
Will nods, his eyes on the water. “True. I think you can guess why.”
“Because Julie’s dead and you’re still in Van Buren?”
“Yes.”
“That wasn’t your plan.”
Will smiles. “Many things weren’t in my plan, Owen, you being at the top of the list.”
“Sorry.”
“Hey.” Will gives him a stern look. “You weren’t in my plan because the possibility of someone like you appearing was so out of the question that I didn’t even consider it.
But you are here now, which means my plan is no longer only mine, and I need to reevaluate things.
If there is even one brain cell in that pretty head of yours that is worried about me leaving you behind, you better tell it to think again. ”
“I’m not worried about that, but I need you to listen to what I have to say until I’m finished, okay?”
Will frowns and nods. “I’m listening.”
“I really like this town, despite the bad things I’ve experienced.
I love my aunt, and Francie, and Bradley, and Esteban, and some of the regulars in the library are great.
This place isn’t my personal hell, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
” At Will’s look of concern, Owen hurries to say, “And despite all that, Van Buren to me boils down to you. A happy you, with no compromises or regrets. You won’t be happy here, no matter how hard I try to make you. That is why we will be leaving.”
“Owen—”
“To New Orleans. My parents have an old house there, not far from a lake. They’re renting it out to tourists, but I spoke with them, and the house is ours for as long as we want.”
Will’s Adam’s apple bobs. “New Orleans? What about your probation?”
“I spoke with my probation officer. He’ll transfer me to someone he knows over there.”
“I’ve never been to New Orleans.”
“I think you’d like it. It has a lot of history and culture. I can sign up for art school again, and you can figure out what you want to do. You’ll have time to decide.”
Will takes a deep breath. “And this isn’t a compromise for you?”
“A compromise?” Thinking of anything involving Will as a compromise is laughable. “It won’t be a compromise; it will be our next chapter. If you’re willing, that is.”
“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so fucking willing.”