Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Carson
Jude was a pleasure to road trip with, and the hours passed quickly until we arrived in Fort Collins in the early afternoon.
Even with several stops to check on the horses and to eat ourselves, we’d managed to outrun the worst of the heat.
Traffic had predictably thickened as soon as we’d hit the Denver suburbs.
I’d done most of my rehab in more central Denver, and despite growing up in the state, I’d never spent much time in Fort Collins, a smaller college town right outside metro Denver.
As Jude navigated traffic, I took in the sprawling college campus, which was in full gear-up mode for the fall term.
The veterinary school was comprised of multiple buildings and centers, including the equine hospital where we were headed.
“Wow.” I whistled as we arrived at the huge, gleaming glass-and-metal complex.
Second Chance Ranch had a world-class reputation as horse breeders, and the horse facility was accordingly large and modern.
However, the equine hospital dwarfed the ranch’s operation several times over with an almost futuristic feel.
Rather than unloading outside as I’d expected, an attendant raised a huge door and waved us into a spacious, covered loading bay.
“Phew. We made it.” Jude let out a long sigh as he turned off the engine. “It’ll be a relief to get the horses situated.”
“Yep.” I followed him out of the truck and around to the back of the trailer. “Tell me what you need.”
Despite being plenty used to being in charge and giving orders, I was happy to follow Jude’s lead. He was far more affable than many commanding officers I’d served under. As much as I missed being able to help with the driving, I enjoyed how Jude made me feel useful for more than conversation.
“I need to talk to the stable manager first and find out which stalls they’ve assigned us to.” Jude gestured toward a nearby office area surrounded by the cleanest stalls I’d ever seen. “If you want to check on the horses in the meantime, I’ll be right back.”
Jude returned in short order, accompanied by a tall woman around our age with long dark-blonde hair and well-worn boots.
She showed us to two neighboring stalls where the horses could wait until we were summoned to one of the exam rooms. I let Jude handle the bulk of the small talk with the manager while I led RC and Linus to their temporary homes.
I settled them in with food and water. Linus stamped around and shook his head, more restless and anxious than usual.
Brushing often seemed to soothe him, so I set to making him more comfortable. As I was working him over with the curry comb, Jude returned to the stall, this time alone.
“The drive certainly didn’t do Linus any favors, but you’re awfully good with him.” Jude was generous as always with praise. I was getting used to his compliments, even if they did make my skin heat.
“Calm will help the exam,” I said as I continued grooming him. I wanted the doctors to find what was ailing Linus without getting distracted by his unease after the long drive.
“Absolutely.” Jude nodded his agreement as he moved toward the stall opening. “You keep working with him, and I’ll see if the medical team can start with RC to give Linus a little more time.”
“Sounds good.” I continued soothing Linus, getting lost in the task as Jude made his way to the office. He returned with a coffee refill for us both and confirmation that RC would be first up.
As we finished the coffee, a male tech with a closely cropped fade summoned us to bring RC to an exam room.
Like the rest of the facility, the room was spacious and pristine.
It had a narrow stall with room around all four sides to house RC for his exam, and a variety of medical equipment lining both walls.
After we got RC situated, the medical team, consisting of an internal medicine attending doctor, a resident, and two vet students, joined the tech. Suddenly, the large room seemed much smaller. Beside me, Jude went unusually tense, back stiffening and mouth thinning out to a narrow line.
“Jude.” The attending doctor was around Jude’s age, or perhaps in his early forties, with silver temples and a pompous attitude I immediately didn’t like.
“Scott.” Jude offered the same sort of terse greeting.
Scott gestured at the resident, a small woman with short dark hair. “Doctor Song will run the exam.”
Jude stayed tense throughout the exam. I hung back at the corner of the room and let him handle the medical questions, but I tried to radiate some invisible support in his direction.
After the team conferred with the attending, Dr. Song announced that they would perform a biopsy with the hope of removing the lump if it was benign.
While they prepared the local anesthetic for the biopsy, the tech directed us to bring Linus to a different exam room, so he could be seen after the team finished with RC.
“What’s wrong?” I asked Jude as soon as we were walking back to Linus’s stall alone.
“Nothing.” Jude’s mouth twisted. I gave him a firm stare until he sighed. “Okay, it’s not nothing, but it’s trivial. The attending is a former classmate of mine. And a…friend.”
“I see.” The slight pause before friend told me everything I needed to know. Scott must have been one of those friends with benefits Jude had mentioned. I had no claim on Jude, but nevertheless, my hands clenched with an unfamiliar sort of possessiveness.
“We didn’t exactly part on great terms, so it’s…” Jude gave a vague wave.
“Awkward.” I finished the thought for him, enjoying that rarity more than I should.
“Yeah, that.” Jude paused with his hand on the door to Linus’s stall. His eyes remained dark and cloudy. I glanced down the line of stalls. No one else was nearby, so I gave in to the urge to pat his meaty bicep.
“That sucks.” I had to use considerable willpower to release Jude’s arm. Touching him felt far too natural, going beyond reassurance to something deeper.
“I’ll be all right.” Jude held my gaze as warmth flickered between us.
“Burger and beer later?” I suggested, wishing I could offer more than the briefest of touches and the distraction of dinner.
“Definitely.” Jude’s tone went from morose to grateful before we shifted our attention to Linus.
The horse was his usual hard-to-lead self with some residual anxiety despite my earlier efforts.
Linus was more familiar with me, so Jude let me take point in bringing him into the exam room the tech had indicated.
“I’m letting the team finish up the biopsy.
Dr. Song is more than capable.” Scott bustled into the room as I coaxed Linus into the narrow stall.
Scott brought all his overbearing energy with him, making the room feel like the AC had kicked on.
Swiveling my direction, Scott narrowed his eyes as if he’d only now registered my presence. “Is this your assistant?”
“This is Carson. He’s a hand on the ranch that owns the two horses.” Jude’s voice was a hair too bright. Scott might not be able to tell he was forcing the positive tone, but I could. “He’s been working closely with Linus and volunteered to make the trip along with me.”
“Howdy.” I offered a hand as I stared Scott down. Ordinarily, I wasn’t one for power games, but I put a little extra strength in my grip nonetheless, taking petty pleasure that Scott was the first to pull away.
However, he kept the majority of his attention on Jude. “Should have known you wouldn’t have an actual assistant. You always were a lone ranger.”
“Eh. I don’t need one for most of the field work I do.” Jude shrugged, but his eyes stayed cloudy and his posture on edge.
“You’re stuck in the last century.” Scott took on the long-suffering air of someone who’d made the same point a dozen times prior. I glared at him, not that Scott seemed inclined to pay me any mind. Scott’s team of students filtered into the room as he added, “Hence why you need us.”
“A consult seemed like a prudent idea given the complex neurological symptoms.” Jude kept his tone even and his attention directed mainly at Dr. Song and the other students.
“Looks like EPM.” One of the students looked up from a tablet where she’d evidently been reviewing case notes.
“I ruled that out.” Jude continued to expound on his findings, but Scott gave a skeptical huff as Jude finished his report.
“Make a note to re-run the blood work,” Scott directed Dr. Song. “I’m also not sure we can rule out temperament. You never know with rescue horses.”
“It’s not temperament.” Jude’s voice finally showed a hint of frustration. “Let’s see what the neurologist and the MRI say.”
“Your ranch owner ponying up MRI-level dollars for a rescue project when the MRI might well show nothing?”
“Yep,” I answered before Jude could. He frowned at me, but didn’t counter my assertion.
“I suppose it’s their money.” Scott shrugged before gesturing toward the students. “Let’s get on with the exam and blood draw.”
Jude handled most of the questions during the exam, but I added a few details about things I’d noticed with Linus, all of which were transcribed by the eager vet students.
After the exam, Dr. Song dismissed us so the team could perform more tests and complete the blood draw before arranging for an MRI.
Leaving Linus behind felt not unlike dropping personnel into an uncertain situation on a mission.
My neck prickled and my hands flexed restlessly as we walked back to check on RC.
“You were awfully quick to commit Maverick to the medical bill,” Jude observed in a low voice.
“Not Maverick.” I pursed my lips, readying for a disagreement. “I’ve got plenty of savings.”
“And you want to spend it on Linus?” Pausing next to RC’s stall, Jude narrowed his eyes at me.
“He’s a good horse,” I said evenly, as if my offer were as simple as that.
Thanks to frugal living on base for years, I did have decent savings, but the urge to burn through a chunk on a horse I’d only known a few weeks was a bit novel.
And it wasn’t simply jealousy or a desire to prove Scott wrong, although both those things were true.
Rather, something about Linus himself called to me on a deeper level. “He deserves answers.”
“He does.” Jude’s gaze softened as if he understood all the things I couldn’t quite explain. “Despite Scott’s prickly attitude, Linus is in the best place for answers. The team will take good care of him.”
“Hmm.” I made a noncommittal noise. The students seemed bright enough, and the resident directing them appeared capable, but I didn’t trust Scott not to muck everything up. “Bad leadership equals bad morale.”
“Don’t I know that.” Jude blew out a harsh breath. “Hell, Scott’s starting to remind me of this one CO…” Trailing off, he shook his head in a similar fashion to how Linus did when he was frustrated. “Sorry. You don’t need my complaining.”
“Tell me.” I made my tone a command, not a request. “What happened?”
“With Scott or in the army?” Jude hedged.
“Either. Both.” I risked patting his upper arm again. He was clearly rattled, and getting him to talk seemed to be as good a way as any to settle him back down.
“Fine.” Jude shifted his weight from foot to foot.
“With Scott, he wanted me to stay when I decided to return to take over my dad’s practice in Lovelorn.
I’d thought we were casual. Friends. But apparently, he had different expectations, and that’s on me.
It was a messy end to what had been a decent friendship. ”
“I’m sorry.” I gave him the most sympathetic look I could muster, hoping my face muscles cooperated. “It’s not all on you.”
“Yeah, it kind of is.” Jude wrinkled his forehead, making deep creases appear. “He was understandably hurt.”
“He could have spoken up sooner.” I measured out each word, not wanting a stutter to interrupt my point.
“True.” Jude gestured vaguely. He wasn’t agreeing with me as much as trying to move the conversation along. “The CO I mentioned was a dick from the jump. As soon as I landed in his company, I knew we’d butt heads. I was right. But I was a new recruit and couldn’t exactly challenge him.”
“Hard.” I put as much commiseration into the single word as I could.
“Yeah.” Jude raked a hand through his short dark hair.
“Long story made short: he gave an order I didn’t agree with.
I didn’t want to risk a court-martial. The end result was a total shit show.
Lost some good personnel on a mission gone fubar, and the CO went on to get a commendation.
No consequence to him, but plenty to everyone else. ”
“Ah.” A whole lot of pieces in the puzzle that made up Jude clicked into place. “That’s why you do the meetings.”
“Not exactly.” Jude made a noise of protest. “It’s more guilt than PTSD.”
“Could be both.” I kept my tone as soothing as when I talked to Linus. “You saw some shit.”
“I did.” Closing his eyes, Jude rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“And Scott reminded you.” I placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Sorry—”
“No apologies.” I squeezed his tightly knotted shoulder. “I get it.”
“I know you do.” Opening his eyes, Jude met my gaze with soft, grateful eyes. “Thanks.”
A man could easily get lost in those hazel depths, and I had to force myself to drop my hand and step aside. “No problem.”
“I’ll probably feel better after we eat. Let me figure out where.” Cheeks pink, Jude reached for his phone, but I held up a hand.
“I’ll handle dinner.” Finding a decent burger place nearby was the least I could do. “You take a minute.”
“Thanks.” Closing his eyes again, Jude leaned against a nearby post, breathing deeply. Taking care of him, even in small ways, felt better than earning a ribbon or commendation. Huh. Apparently, Linus wasn’t the only being slipping past my defenses.