Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Carson
While I was always glad to see Jude, especially lately, I could have done without a horse emergency as the reason. Most of the other hands had gone on to dinner, leaving Kat and me waiting for Jude’s arrival.
“I hope Jude gets here soon.” Kat paced back and forth in front of Forest’s stall. He was an older, regal gelding. Up until a few hours ago, he’d been the chillest member of rescue horse row, a favorite among hands and ranch guests alike. Kat stopped to pat my shoulder. “Thanks for helping.”
“Happy to.” As if I was going anywhere, even if Jude weren’t on the way.
I wasn’t going to leave Kat to deal with a sick horse on her own.
She had decades of experience and was a supremely capable barn manager, but my time in the service had taught me the benefit of having a team when a situation went sideways.
She might need an extra pair of hands, and I was more than happy to provide moral support as well.
“You’re doing a great job keeping him calm.” Kat managed a tense smile.
I’d learned a few tricks from Linus on how to deal with agitated horses, and I was doing my best to keep Forest calm.
I’d brought a fan like the one I was using with Linus over to Forest’s stall to help him regulate his temperature and kept up a steady stream of soothing nonsense talk for the horse.
Gravel crunched in the distance, coupled with a faint yet familiar hum of a truck engine. “Here’s Jude.”
“You know the sound of his truck?” Kat’s voice was rather impressed as her eyes went wide.
“Eh.” I made a vague gesture. “I know trucks.”
“I see.” She likely saw far too much.
While it was true that I knew all sorts of engine sounds from tanks to convoy trucks, I also knew the particular sound of Jude’s truck because I’d spent a fair bit of time the last few weeks listening for it.
Our friendship wasn’t a secret, but I did tend to dart out to his truck the second he arrived to pick me up for dinner at his place.
The fewer folks with questions, the better.
Luckily, I was right that the truck coming down the drive was Jude, and his arrival saved me from more conversation with Kat.
Wearing a gray western shirt and a black cowboy hat, he came striding in with his medical pack on one shoulder and an all-business demeanor.
The cavalry was here, and tension visibly rolled off Kat.
Jude inspired that sort of confidence. He did, however, spare me the barest of smiles as he greeted Kat.
“Thank goodness you’re here.” She led the way to Forest’s stall.
“I came as fast as I could.” Jude’s voice was as soothing as the one I’d been using with Forest. “Tell me more about his symptoms?”
“Forest went on a ride earlier with Adler and some ranch guests. Adler took them up by the old swimming pond, so not terribly far. We’re having something of a late-September heatwave, but I wasn’t too concerned about them taking the horses out.”
“What happened when they came back?” Jude asked as we stopped in front of Forest’s stall.
“Carson was the one to put Forest away,” Kat explained, talking fast to get the story out.
“He noticed Forrest appeared agitated and far stiffer than we might expect, even from an older horse. Carson fetched me, and I agreed that something was off. He’s sweatier than usual, seems very uncomfortable, and doesn’t want to eat or drink.
I’m praying it’s not colic, but we need your opinion. ”
“Absolutely. Let’s have a look.” Jude turned toward me. “You want to fetch the portable ultrasound from my truck? I want to start with listening to the stomach and bowels, see if I hear any signs of colic, then move on to ultrasound if needed.”
“I’m on it.” I dashed for Jude’s truck.
I’d helped him enough by now that I knew exactly where he stored the ultrasound machine and other imaging equipment.
When I returned, Jude had ruled out colic based on the gut sounds.
He was completing his initial physical assessment of Forest, checking each limb and foot for signs of injury.
He also took Forest’s temperature and listened to his heart and lungs.
I helped Jude set up the ultrasound machine and position Forest. The horse was wary in addition to his agitated state, but I managed to keep him still enough for Jude to get the images he needed.
Jude stayed quiet as he reviewed each area of concern with surgical precision, eyes narrow and a deep furrow on his forehead, until finally he exhaled.
“I’m not seeing signs of obstruction or other emergent issues, which is good news.” He stepped closer to where Kat was waiting right outside the stall. “However, the rapid heartbeat and elevated temperature are more concerning right now.”
“Tying up?” Kat asked, referencing rhabdomyolysis, a rare dehydration complication that causes muscle breakdown and could compromise kidney function, along with being super painful for the patient.
I’d seen the human version a couple of times in the military, and I knew both the equine and human slang for the condition.
“Leaning that direction.” Jude continued to study Forest closely. “I want to do a few more tests, but we’ll likely want to run fluids through an NG tube and start treatment for rhabdomyolysis while we wait on more lab work.”
“Makes sense.” Kat sounded much more relieved now that the worst-case scenario had been ruled out.
I was breathing easier as well, which made it easier to assist Jude in getting the blood samples he wanted.
If the condition became chronic, he might also want urine or muscle biopsy tests at a later time.
We then lightly sedated Forest before setting up an NG tube through the nose to pump in the fluids and electrolytes needed to combat the rhabdomyolysis.
“You’re going to want someone to stay with him overnight to monitor his hydration levels and look for worsening symptoms,” Jude said to Kat as he packed up the samples. He could do some basic analysis in the field, but he’d need the lab for the more complicated tests.
“I’ll stay.” I volunteered before Kat could.
Adrenaline rushed through me, my heart rate almost as elevated as Forest’s.
My body was convinced this was a mission-critical situation, and I’d slipped back into a decisive leadership mode.
Plus, I was likely to worry about the horse all night either way, so letting Kat get some rest seemed like a good call. “You go eat.”
“You sure?” Kat’s upper lip twitched toward her nose like an uncertain horse. She glanced toward the barn door, then back at me. “Suppose I can have Casey box you up some dinner. I’ll bring it by in a bit, see how you’re managing.”
“Good plan,” Jude and I said in unison, then chuckled at our identical thinking.
“Carson’s got this,” Jude added as Kat readied to leave.
His vote of confidence made my shoulders lift. I would have stayed regardless, but his faith in me felt better than any commendation I’d received in the army.
“Glad it’s not colic,” I said to Jude after Kat left.
“Me too.” Jude exhaled hard as he removed the disposable gloves he’d used for the blood draw. “Kat did the right thing by calling, though, because every minute counts with colic. Rhabdo at least is treatable, but we’ll want to rule out some of the chronic causes so it doesn’t happen again.”
“Yep. It’s nasty.” I made a sour face. The risk of a repeat sounded miserable for all concerned. “A buddy got it once.”
“In both humans and horses, the pain can be quite severe. That’s why we’re pushing pain meds in addition to fluids.
” Jude gave Forest a gentle pat. The horse was much calmer now, thanks to the pain meds.
“And the pain can mimic other conditions, which is why the continued monitoring is so vital. Thank you for volunteering.”
“No problem.” I moved so he could exit the stall with his equipment. He needed thanks far more than I did. He’d texted earlier that he had plans to get a drink after work with Luna. The call had likely upended his night. “Did you get your beer?”
“Cut short, but it was good to see Luna and Mitch outside of work.” Jude shifted his case to the other shoulder. “Colt was also at the bar, having a drink with Grayson.”
“Oh.” Not sure how to react, I drew the word out. “Awkward?”
“A bit.” Jude bit the inside of his cheek, shifty eyes saying it was more than a little weird to see my brother while trying to keep the thing with me a secret.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Jude studied his feet, not my face. “I’m enjoying our time together. Not your fault your brother is overprotective. Like you said, no one needs to know, including Colt. It’s worth any awkward encounters.”
“Lying is hard.” My tone was somewhere between commiseration and frustration. I’d been avoiding this topic for weeks now, but maybe being open would ease some of the weirdness.
“It’s not lying per se.” Jude shuffled in place as if contemplating making a break for it. “More like omission. Keeping our business private.”
“That what you want?” I kept my voice neutral.
“I want more time with you.” Jude’s tongue darted out to lick his lower lip. Damn it. Maybe keeping this to just sex was the better option, especially given Jude’s cagey tone. “I can deal with the secrecy.”
“Deal or prefer?” The question shot out of my mouth before my brain could think better of poking at Jude. Casual might be easier, but apparently, I cared about Jude’s reply more than I wanted to admit.
Jude made a frustrated noise, which did nothing to improve my mood. “I thought you were happy with where things are at.”
“I am.” My voice was firm, but my mind was far less certain. The me of three months ago had zero intention of ever coming out, but if Jude asked, I would. The sudden realization made my breath choppy.
“This friendship…” Jude trailed off as his hand twisted the strap to his case. “It’s important to me.”
“Friends is what you want?” I stiffened my spine. I’d survived any number of fubar situations in the army, but risking Jude’s rejection had my cast-iron stomach all wobbly.
“I’m a terrible bet for dating.” Jude’s eyes were cloudy and pained. “And you’re not about to come out.”
“Never said that.” There. I’d made my decision. Relief and terror flooded my nervous system in equal measure. “Not in the service. Less need to hide.”
“You’d come out for me?”
“If you wanted.” I swallowed hard. So far, terror was winning out.
“That’s a terrible reason to come out.” Jude blew out a breath, a harsh wind whipping through my hopes. “I’m not going to ask that of you.”
“Okay.” I turned back to the horse so he wouldn’t see my disappointment. I wanted to ask if my TBI was the real reason he didn’t want to publicly date, but I wasn’t sure I’d like that answer any better.
“Wait.” Jude stopped my retreat with a hand on my shoulder. “What do you want, Carson?”
“Not sure.” I offered him my truth. I had no clue what I was doing here. I’d never before had the slightest inclination to be in a relationship, yet with Jude, the idea was far less terrifying than the alternative. “Willing to find out.”
“Oh.” Jude’s mouth made a perfect circle. I couldn’t tell if he was on the verge of running for the door or kissing me. I knew which I preferred, so I stepped closer.
“Got your food.” Kat chose that exact moment to come striding through the barn door, stopping short as she took note of Jude’s presence. “You’re still here? I figured you’d need to get those samples back.”
“I do.” Jude gave a slow nod.
His eyes shot me some sort of message, but hell if I could decipher it. And I wasn’t about to ask with Kat right there, watching us with way too much interest.
“Go on.” I made a shooing motion with my hand. “We’re good here.”
We weren’t, of course. I had no idea what Jude and I were, but it was a far cry from good.