Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
BLAKE
“You know, this wasn’t what I had in mind when you called and asked if I could stop by and help you around,” I mutter as I grab a bale of hay and toss it into the tractor-trailer that’s parked not too far from us.
Thank God because that shit’s heavy, and we were nowhere near done.
“What did you think I needed help with?” Aaron asks, dusting his hands. “I’m a rancher.”
A fair point, I guess. “I don’t fucking know, dude. I guess I should be happy you didn’t put me on a horse. Because I’m not doing that shit.” Just the thought of it had me shuddering.
Moving farther down the pasture, I grab the next bale. The sun is up in the sky burning my skin as the sweat drips down my back, making my shirt plaster to my body as we work.
My muscles were aching in places I didn’t even know they could. How Aaron was doing this every day and still managed to walk, I had no fucking clue, and I wasn’t a stranger to physical work.
Still, it was better than sitting at home all day and waiting for Savannah’s appointment to roll around so I could see her again.
And I wanted to see her.
Badly.
It’s like the more time I spent with her, the more I wanted her. Some days, I wondered what would be enough because she was constantly on my mind. And not just because of the baby either. I wanted to know her. What did she do in her free time? Did she read more of those smutty books that made her blush, or did she prefer to kick back and watch TV? What did she like to eat? Did she have any cravings now that she was pregnant? Did she go to bed early or stay up late? There was so much I wanted to know, but, at the same time, I didn’t want to scare her off.
And then there was Daniel. I was trying to give him a chance to come to terms with what was going on, which was harder than I anticipated. He completely shut me off and spent most of the time in his room, refusing to talk to me. I was willing to give him a little bit more time, but then we were getting to the bottom of it. Whether he liked it or not, Savannah and the baby were here to stay, and I wanted them all to get along because I knew if Daniel kept up with his attitude, Savannah would pull back. She wanted me to put my kids first, and she would never give us a chance if she knew it would upset Daniel.
Was it wrong of me that I didn’t want that to happen? Was I selfish for wanting to have the best of both worlds? Daniel and Levi, but also Savannah and our unborn baby?
Giving my head a shake, I look up to find Aaron observing me quietly. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. Something’s definitely on your mind. Spill.”
“What’s with that scowl? I thought you figured things out with Savannah.”
My eyes narrow at him. “How do you know?”
I didn’t bring Savannah up once since we got here, which could only mean one thing.
“People have been talking.”
The hair at my nape rises at his words. “What people?”
“Just people.” Aaron shrugs.
I cross my arms over my chest, the muscle in my jaw twitching. “And what were those people saying?”
If somebody was talking bullshit about Savannah, I’ll need to have a chat with them. Freaking small-town gossips.
“That the new coach is flirting with our favorite teacher during football practice.”
Seriously?
“We’re both coaching the peewee team.”
Aaron raises his brow. “So, there was no touching during practice?”
I could still feel the silkiness of Savannah’s skin under my fingertips as my hand found that little patch of flesh on the small of her back. I could see the way her teeth sunk into her lower lip and that heated look in her eyes as they met mine. I could feel the shudder that rocked her body.
My fingers curl into a fist as I try to keep my cool.
Okay, so there had been a little bit of touching, completely unintentionally and innocently.
“You’re making it seem like I was groping her in public or some shit.”
“Hey, I’m not saying anything.” Aaron lifts his palms. “I’m just telling you what people have been saying in town.”
“Who?”
“Lucy Donovan.”
“Shit.” I lift my hat and run my fingers through my hair.
I guess she didn’t like that I brushed her off yesterday like I did. The woman’s been trying to get my attention since that first day. I knew her type. I avoided it in a wide circle. Even if Savannah wasn’t in the picture, I’d do the same. She reminded me too much of my ex. Somebody who’s only focused on what I did and what I could give them instead of who I am.
“Apparently, she’s been drinking with some girlfriends at The Hut and started to mouth off. At least, that’s what some of the guys said today.”
“I don’t need this shit in my life. I’m trying to figure things out with Savannah and my kids, and this isn’t helping.”
“I get it, I really do. Do the boys know?”
“Yeah, Daniel saw me and Savannah, and he put two and two together.” I run my hand over my jaw. “To say it didn’t go well would be an understatement.”
“Shit, I’m sorry, man.”
“Yeah, well. I should have come clean as soon as I figured it out, but now it is what it is.”
Dropping my hand, I make my way to the next bale of hay with Aaron on my heels. “I just don’t know what to do with him, you know? I made a mistake. I get it. I should have done so many things differently when it came to my boys, Daniel especially, but damn it, some days I just want to shake some sense into him.”
“Things will work out; just give it time. Give him time. He’s sixteen. You know how fucked up that age is. His emotions are all over the place. I know I did a lot of dumb shit at sixteen that I regret now.”
“I know, and I keep telling myself that. I’m trying to protect them, and I’m trying to do right by Savannah, and in turn, it feels like I’m messing things up even more on all fronts.”
Aaron lets out a low grunt. “She’s giving you a hard time because of the kids?”
“No, she’s so fucking understanding. Daniel was all but yelling in her face and throwing accusations, and she didn’t say a word. She keeps telling me I should put them first, which I do. That was the whole point of coming here, dammit, but it feels like I’m failing her. Like no matter what I do, it’ll never be enough.” My breathing is ragged as another bale of hay ends up in the trailer, and I turn to Aaron. “What the hell do I do?”
“Your best.” Aaron shrugs. “You can only do your best and hope it’s enough.”
But what if my best isn’t enough? What if I keep fucking things up across the board and then make not only irreparable damage to my relationship with Daniel but also Savannah and our baby?
The bile rises up my throat as more questions start to surface in my mind, but before I can do anything about it, my phone rings.
Sliding my hand in my pocket, I pull it out, noticing the unfamiliar number on the screen. I raise the phone to my ear and press the answer button. “Hello?”
“Mr. Walker?” an older feminine voice says.
“That’s me. How can I help you?” I ask slowly. The voice sounds slightly familiar, but I’m not sure where to place it.
Aaron lifts his brow in a silent question, but I just shake my head. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but for some reason, I could feel the trepidation rising inside of me.
“My name is Mrs. Dawn. I’m calling from Bluebonnet High. I’m afraid there’s been an incident.”
My fingers tighten around the phone as I feel my blood run cold. “What kind of incident?”
Did something happen to Daniel? Did he get hurt? Did?—
“Daniel got into a fight with another student.”
Cursing softly, I run my hand over my face, as I mutter, “Of course he did.”
“Mr. Walker?” the woman asks.
“I’m sorry, I’m still here.”
“Both boys have been suspended, so we need you to come to school to pick him up.”
I let my hand drop to my side. “I’m on my way.”
“What the hell were you thinking?” I ask the moment we step into the house.
It takes everything in me not to slam the front door behind me and yell at my oldest son, but somehow, I manage to keep myself in check.Yelling at Daniel rarely solved anything. On the contrary, really.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Daniel grumbles, his gaze fixed on the floor. He starts to turn around, but I grab his shoulder and tug him back.
“Oh, no you don’t. What the fuck, Daniel? Fighting in school? Not just that, getting suspended barely a few weeks in? Are you trying to set a new record of how quickly they can kick you out?”
“Well maybe then we can go back home.” Daniel lifts his gaze and glares at me. His lip is busted and slightly puffy. A dark bruise has already formed around his left eye, closing it shut. The other kid, on the other hand, looked worse.Much worse.
“This is home, Daniel. If you get kicked out, you’re out. The next closest school is a few towns over. But I guess you could always go and get a job.”
Anger shines in his gray irises. Anger and something that looks a lot like shame. Not that he’d ever admit it out loud. No, he was too stubborn, too proud, to admit it out loud.
“This is not my home,” he spits out, his cheeks flaming hot. “Just because you have a new girlfriend and a kid on the way doesn’t make this place my home.”
This time, when he spins on his heels and starts toward the stairs, I don’t try to stop him.
“ Fucking hell ,” I curse once he’s out of earshot and run my hand over my face.
This was so messed up. I knew it would be; I didn’t expect Levi and Daniel to jump at this all enthusiastically and accept Savannah into our family, but… I didn’t expect this level of hatred at the idea either.
“Did I hear Daniel?” I turn around to find Mrs. Maxwell standing in the doorway of the laundry room, a basket with folded clothes in her arms. She gives me one look before asking, “What happened now?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, feeling the headache building behind my temples. “Daniel got into a fight at school. He’s suspended for a full week.”
Her gray brows shoot up over the rim of her metal glasses. “So fast? You’ve barely been here for a few weeks.”
“What can I say; the kid is talented.”
Mrs. Maxwell tsks. “What that boy is is troubled. The divorce messed him up.”
“Among other things.” I let out a long sigh. “Am I doing the right thing?”
The question that’s been bugging me ever since we came to Bluebonnet comes to the surface. It feels like I’ve asked myself this very thing a hundred times already, and I still don’t have an answer. Will I ever have an answer?
Mrs. Maxwell gives me a soft smile. “Only time will tell; what I know is that you’re doing the best that you can.”
“The best that I can,” I scoff. “What if that’s not enough?”
What if the only thing that happens is I mess my kids up even more?
Mrs. Maxwell moves closer, shifting the basket to one side, her other hand patting my back. “You have to give it time. Change won’t happen overnight. Things are just… intense now.”
I snort. “That’s one way of putting it.”
Between the move and Savannah…
“Shit.” I pull out my phone checking the time. “Shit, shit, shit.”
Savannah.
I was screwed.
Completely and utterly screwed.
Mrs. Maxwell presses her lips together. “You really should watch your tongue, you know that?”
“I’m sorry, but I have to go. I’m already late.”
“Late to what?” Her brows furrow in confusion. “I picked up Levi from school; he went upstairs to change.”
“Savannah has a doctor’s appointment. I promised her I’d be there.” I look up the stairs. I still had to talk to Daniel about what happened, and I haven’t seen Levi?—
Mrs. Maxwell presses her hand against my shoulder. I told her about Savannah after the whole debacle with Daniel. If she had any thoughts about the situation I got myself into, she didn’t voice them out loud. “Go. I have everything handled here.”
But that was the problem, wasn’t it? I should have been the one who had it all handled. Not her.
“Are you sure?”
The older woman rolls her eyes at me. “When was I not sure?” She lets her hand drop. “Off with you. Make sure your baby momma is okay. You already have one person mad at you; you don’t need two.”
Leaning down, I press my mouth against the top of her head. “You’re the best, Mrs. Maxwell,” I say as I dash for the door, pulling the keys out of my pocket. “I’ll see you later.”