Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
BLAKE
Hill:
They want you in Austin tomorrow.
I snort out loud. This was typical of Andrew. No “hello,” no “how ya doin’,” just straight to the point.
Blake:
Can’t.
Savannah ended up in a hospital.
Hill:
Is everything okay?
Blake:
It is now, but she’s still recovering so I don’t want to leave her alone just yet.
Hill:
I’ll see what I can do, but I’m not making any promises.
Blake:
If they want me, they can damn well wait.
Hitting the send button, I drop my phone on the floor next to me before grabbing the dumbbells and continuing with my reverse lunges.
Savannah’s been quiet, and I’ve been trying to give her space, not that I liked it. No, I didn’t like it one bit, so I did the only thing I knew—I exercised.
My legs are burning by the time I’m done with my work out for today when my phone buzzes again. I expect it’s Andrew with some kind of an update, but it’s not him.
Blondie:
There are packages on my front porch.
Grabbing a towel, I wipe the sweat off my face as a grin spreads over my mouth just as another message pops up.
Blondie:
Why are there a gazillion packages on my front porch?
Blake:
You went shopping?
Blondie:
You know damn well I didn’t.
Yes, I knew she wouldn’t. Hell, I was pretty sure that if somebody pointed a gun at Savannah’s head and told her to spend my money, she wouldn’t do it. That’s why I decided to take things into my own hands.
Blondie:
Blake?
Blake:
Yes, Blondie?
Blondie:
What the hell did you do?
I push to my feet and make my way out of the gym.
Some of the stuff that I ordered was heavy, and I didn’t want Savannah to get any ideas in her head about carrying those on her own. Or, knowing her, she’ll probably try to return them.
“Hey, I’ll be—” I stop in my tracks when I come to the living room just in time to see a book fall on Daniel’s face. “What the hell are you doing?”
He pulls the book back, his face coming into view. The bruises have started to heal, which means that instead of intense purples, his skin was colored in different shades of yellows, blues, and greens.
“Studying.”
“Mm-hmm, I can see that.”
He sits up, closing the book without a backward glance. So much for studying.
“Where are you going?”
“Over to Savannah’s. She got some packages, so I’m going to carry them inside.”
“I can help.”
His words make me pause for a moment, surprised by his offer. “You want to help?”
“I mean, if you don’t want me there…” Daniel shrugs, trying to play it cool, but I can see him already retreating into himself.
Shit.
“No.” I shake my head immediately. “I could use your help. Some of the stuff is heavy, so it’ll be easier if we carry it together.”
“I can do that.” Daniel nods, pushing to his feet, his gaze darting toward the window. “You sure she won’t mind?”
And there it was again.
That uncertainty.
I hated to see it.
I hated that I didn’t know what to do to mend the relationship with my son.
“She won’t mind.” Just then, my phone buzzes again. “I’m pretty sure she’s pissed at me.”
Daniel gives me a side glance. “What did you do?”
“She was looking at all that baby stuff the other day but barely got anything, so I ordered it for her.”
“Oh…”
I watch him as he mulls over the information, an unreadable expression on his face. After everything that had happened, I wasn’t sure how he was going to react to this news, but I didn’t want to tiptoe around it. Whether he wanted it or not, this baby—his brother or sister—was coming. And Savannah? She deserved better than for me to keep her like a dirty little secret.
“You coming?” I ask gently.
This was his out if he wanted to take one. As much as I wanted him to get along with Savannah, I knew that pushing him too soon into something he wasn’t ready for would result in a disaster.
Daniel bobs his head. “Yeah, sure.”
Together we make our way toward the door, and sure enough, Savannah is standing on her front porch, her arms propped on her hips as she talks to the mailman about the packages.
Daniel whistles softly. “You weren’t joking.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
I hurry my pace to save the poor guy.
“I didn’t order any of these.” Savannah shakes her head. “You probably have the wrong address.”
“This is the right address, ma’am. See?” He shows her his phone. “It says right here.”
“Well, I didn’t order any of these, so you can take them back be?—”
“I’ll take it from here,” I say to the guy, who gives me a grateful smile.
Savannah, on the other hand? She looks like she’s contemplating strangling me.
“Look who finally decided to show up.” She crosses her arms over her chest and lifts her chin, determination shining on her face. “What the hell, Walker? Did you write the wrong address when you were ordering your stuff? I really hope that you’re planning to take those because I don’t want them sitting on my porch.”
I take a step closer, my eyes scanning her face. All that blonde hair was piled in a messy knot on top of her head, and some of the color had finally returned to her face after taking it easy for a few days. Or maybe it was just because she was pissed at me. The jury was still out. Regardless, I liked seeing her like this. I could deal with her temper; I’d take it any day of the week over seeing her pale, lifeless body lying on the ground.
The corner of my mouth twitches upward. “You look cute all pissed off like that.”
She disentangles her hands and jabs her finger into my chest. “Don’t you try and change the subject. Are these your packages, and what are they doing at my house?”
“I ordered them for you.”
“You…” Her lips part as she just stares at me for a long moment, some of the color draining from her face.
“Blondie…”
“No.” She shakes her head. “No, I can’t accept that. You have to take them back. I can’t pay you back for all of this.”
Pay me back? My brows pull together. “I don’t expect you to pay me back, Savannah. It’s for our baby.”
“I know, but—” Her throat bobs as she swallows, her gaze darting to all the boxes. “I can’t. It’s too much, and I?—”
I cup her cheeks and turn her attention back on me. “Blondie, what is this about?”
“I—” she sucks in a sharp breath. “I just can’t.”
Daniel clears his throat. “I’ll give you guys a few.”
Thankful for some privacy, I skim my fingers over Savannah’s cheeks. “Come here.”
Letting my hand fall, I grab her palm in mine and pull her toward the swing on the porch. Savannah wants to sit down, but I’m faster, pulling her into my lap. “What is going on, baby?”
She’s biting her lower lip, her fingers clasping in her lap. I place my palm over hers but don’t say anything. I wanted her to come to me in her own time. I wanted her to know that no matter what, I’d be there for her, ready to listen.
“You must think I’m crazy,” she says after a while, letting her lip pop as she glances away. “Here you are trying to do something nice, and I?—”
Gently, I slip my finger under her chin and turn her to face me. “You’re not crazy, but I want to know why this is such a big deal. It’s just a few things.”
“A few things,” she snorts. “Things have a price, Blake. And this is a lot of things.”
“They do.” I nod slowly in acknowledgment and assess her silently for a second. This went deeper than her simply not wanting to accept the gift; only I couldn’t quite pinpoint why, so I changed the subject. “You wanna know why I got them?”
Savannah nods silently.
“Because I saw you liked them the other day. You had this little half-smile on your face when you spotted something you loved, so I made a note of it.”
Her eyes widen in surprise, making me chuckle. “I see you, Savannah.”
“Blake…” She shakes her head, one strand slipping from her bun.
“I see you,” I repeat, needing her to know it. Maybe if I said it enough times, she would believe me. “And sue me for wanting to make you happy and see that smile on your face. Be the one who puts that smile on your face. Besides, spoiling people I care about makes me happy.” I brush away the runaway lock gently, my fingers grazing the soft skin of her neck. “It was only my mom and me growing up, and she worked her ass off to make sure I had everything, but before I got a chance to give her back all she did for me, she died. So now that I can, I’m not waiting a moment to spoil the people I care about.”
Her fingers tighten around mine. “I’m so sorry, Blake.”
“Me too.” My gaze grows distant, the memories of the past coming back to the surface. It’s been a while since I thought about my mom. “She was a good woman. I saw what it did to her when my dad left. She had to quit college and get a low-paying job to support us. I promised myself I’d never be like him.”
Understanding flashes on Savannah’s face, some of that tension leaving her body.
“I…” Her tongue darts out to slide over her lips. “My mom wasn’t like that. She used her pregnancy to blackmail my father, but he didn’t take the bait, and by then, it was too late for an abortion, and she never let me live it down. Everything that happened was somehow my fault, everything she did came with a price tag. So yeah, I’m not really the best when it comes to stuff like this.”
What the actual fuck?
For a moment, I thought she was lying. She had to be lying because I couldn’t believe anybody would act that way, but the empty, hopeless expression on her face told me otherwise.
Dammit.
“Savannah, baby, I’m so sorry.”
She forces out a smile. “It’s fine. It happened years ago.”
“No, it’s not fine.”
Not in the slightest.
My jaw clenches as I try to hold back my anger toward a woman I’ve never even met.
However, it did explain a lot about the woman sitting in front of me. Her reservations when it came to our baby, her constant stubbornness, and the independence she was clinging to with both hands. For a good reason, since she had to learn from an early age how to take care of herself.
She lifts her hand, her fingers tracing over my scruff as her gaze meets mine. “We make quite a pair, don’t we?”
My stomach tightens at her gentle touch. Those blue eyes turn dark, lips parting as she just stares at me. Pink spreads over her cheeks, and she sinks her teeth into her lower lip, drawing my gaze to that lush mouth that’s been tempting me ever since I kissed her. Hell, ever since I first saw her.
“We sure do,” I croak out, my voice coming out tight.
Savannah’s nails graze over my jaw, sending a zap of electricity down my spine. A low groan comes from deep inside my chest, and it takes everything in me to hold back.
She was vulnerable right now. Hell, she was still recovering from her ER visit, and her blood sugar had been all over the place. She didn’t need me groping her.
I let out a long breath and focus back on the topic at hand. “If you don’t want the baby stuff, I understand. I’ll tell Daniel, and we’ll take?—”
A finger presses against my lips.
“I…” Her tongue darts out, sliding over her lower lip. I can see her mind work, fighting with herself, with her demons. “I can keep it.”
“Are you sure?”
Savannah nods. “You’re right. Munchkin is our baby, and you bought these things for his room.”
The corner of my mouth twitches in amusement, my brow rising. “His? Did Levi get to you?”
Savannah pokes me playfully. “You know what I me?—”
Suddenly, she sucks in a breath, her brows furrowing.
“What’s wrong?” My smile falls as I take her in, trying to figure out what just happened.
“Nothing,” she says quickly, but I don’t miss how she moved her palm to her side.
“Blondie,” I growl in warning. “I’m calling bullshit on that one.”
Something was definitely wrong.
“Blake, I’m fine. Really.”
“Well, something isn’t right,” I insist, my scowl growing deeper. “I can see it on your face. Do we need to go to the ER?—”
“No.” She shakes her head quickly. “It’s just a kick. We’re fine.”
A kick?
I blink, unsure if I heard her correctly.
“Munchkin is kicking,” she whispers, almost like she’s afraid she’ll scare the baby. A smile slowly spreads over Savannah’s face, her gaze meeting mine, wonder and love shining on her face.
Before I can say anything, she takes my hand and places it on her stomach.
I suck in a breath when my fingers press against her bump. I don’t know what I expected, but it feels harder than it looks.
“I don’t?—”
The words die on my lips when I feel a strong jab against my palm. My head snaps up to find Savannah watching me, a big smile on her lips. “See?”
Dammit, she looks beautiful when she smiles.
“This is just…” I shake my head, still unable to wrap my mind around it. “Wow.”
Our baby.
Kicking.
“It’s amazing, right? I’ve been feeling Munchkin move for a while, but this one was really strong. At first, I didn’t even know if it was a kick. I was talking to Becky, complaining about the flutters in my stomach, thinking it was indigestion or something, and she told me it was the baby. Wasn’t it like that with the boys?”
My lips press in a tight line. “No.”
“Oh.”
Savannah’s smile falls, some of that previous insecurity coming back, and I immediately feel like a jackass for snapping like that.
“I’m sorry, I…” I run the fingers of my free hand through my hair, trying to come up with the right words. “I never had this before. The doctor’s appointments. The kicks. All the little moments? I’ve never had it.”
Savannah’s brows pull together in confusion. “But you have Daniel and Levi, how…”
“My ex didn’t want me there,” I admit, that old disappointment laced with a touch of resentment toward my ex-wife coming back to the surface.
But hell, we were already rehashing other parts of our past; I might as well tell her this too.
“At first, I thought that she was simply anxious about the whole thing. We were just two kids who got pregnant a few months into our relationship. God knows I was scared shitless. We talked about it, and we agreed to continue with the pregnancy, but after a while, I understood that it wasn’t anxiety. She hated being pregnant. She hated all the changes she was going through. Hated her body. I tried my best to reassure that I loved her and found her attractive, but she slowly started to pull away until she didn’t even let me touch her, and I could only respect her wishes. It actually surprised me when she was the one who suggested we try for a second baby when I knew how unhappy she was the first time around. I thought she changed her mind, but it was just more of the same. Looking back, I think it was her way of trying to save our marriage, the little good that did. So yeah, this is a first for me, too.”
Silence settles over us, my words still ringing in the air. I feel raw after telling her all of that, sharing a part of my past I never admitted to out loud. Not to anybody. But I wanted Savannah to know. I wanted her to understand just how much this meant to me.
“Blake, I…”
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you feel sorry for me.”
Savannah shakes her head. “I feel sorry for her because she’ll never get this back.” She takes my other hand, placing it on her stomach just in time to feel another, softer kick. Those blue-sky eyes full of wonder meet mine, a gentle smile on her mouth. “It’s pretty amazing, right?”
“Sure is.” I rub my thumb over the hard swell, waiting, hoping really, to feel our baby kick again. “Thank you for letting me experience this, Savannah.”
“Anytime. I—” She sucks in a breath when another kick connects to her side. “This one was the strongest one yet. You think we have a football player on our hands?”
There it was again—we.
“You really do think it’s a boy,” I tease her.
“I do not!” She shoves me back. “Girls can play football, too.”
The motion does nothing to push me, but it makes her rock against my lap. I bite back my groan. “They sure can.”
Savannah’s expression softens, and my gaze falls to her mouth once again. She was sitting so close that I would only need to lean forward to clear the distance between us and claim it.
Claim her.
Dammit, down, boy.
“How about we get those packages off your porch?” I ask, changing the subject before I did something I shouldn’t.
Savannah blinks, her cheeks turning a deeper shade of pink. “Umm, yes, sure.” She scoots off my lap, and I have to bite back another groan. “They should go upstairs to the nursery. Or I guess what’s going to be a nursery since I have yet to touch it.”
Savannah goes for one of the packages, but I jump to my feet and gently move her out of the way. “You’re not carrying it.”
“But—”
“No, Blondie,” I give her a stern look that has her rolling her eyes.
“Fine, be my guest.” She lifts her hands in resignation and goes toward the door.
“I will.” Chuckling, I grab the boxes and follow after her, only to run into Daniel, who’s sitting on the stairs. He lifts his gaze and looks between the two of us tentatively.
“Can you grab some of the boxes?”
Daniel shifts his attention between the two of us before getting up. “Sure thing.”
We climb the steps, and Savannah opens one of the doors. “It’s not much just yet, but this is where I’m planning to have the nursery for Munchkin. You know, once I throw all the furniture out and whatnot.”
Placing the boxes by the wall, I straighten and take in the room. The old wallpaper was peeling at the corners, and dark, rusty furniture was taking up a lot of space. The furniture she shouldn’t be trying to move even if she weren’t pregnant.
“Where do I put this?” Daniel asks, a stack of boxes that’s taller than him in his hands.
“By the door,” I answer, my brain spinning. Daniel straightens and dusts his hands to find me watching him.
“What?”
I shift my gaze to Savannah. “We can help with that.”