Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
SAVANNAH
A soft creak wakes me up, and before I manage to figure out what’s going on, a pair of big hands wrap around me and pull me into a hard body as Blake buries his head in the crook of my neck.
Big cold hands.
“Blake!” I hiss softly, a visible shudder going through me, which only makes him chuckle as he tightens his grip on me. “Good morning to you too, Blondie.”
“What— Why are you so cold?”
“I was outside.”
Outside? Why would he ? —
His palms sneak under my shirt— his shirt, really—pressing against my warm skin. “Holy?—”
“You’re so warm.”
I squeeze my thighs together as I glare at him over my shoulder. “And I’d prefer to stay that way.”
“Don’t worry, baby, I can get you warm in no time.”
Chuckling, I squirm in my seat. “Not before I pee my pants.”
Blake groans but lets me go. “I’ll go make us some coffee.”
“Sounds perfect.”
I push to my feet as fast as I can and make my way to the bathroom that’s attached to Blake’s bedroom, where I quickly do my thing before splashing some water on my face and brushing my teeth.
After the second night at Blake’s place, I woke up and found a few of my things in the bathroom. At first, I thought that he had taken them from my house, but nope. He bought them. For me. It made this whole thing that much more real. My shampoos were lined up next to his in the shower, and there was a pink toothbrush along with his blue one. He wanted me here, in his space. They all did.
Once I’m done in the bathroom, I slip into the quiet hallway. Both of the boys’ rooms were closed, so they still must be sleeping. As I make it downstairs, I’m greeted by the scent of coffee coming from the kitchen.
Blake must hear me because he turns around, two coffee cups in hand. “Just in time.”
“God, I need this.”
Blake smirks, placing them on the coffee counter. “Did somebody keep you up last night?”
“You know damn well who kept me up.” I jab my finger into Blake’s chest. “Not that your baby is any better.”
“Now it’s my baby, huh?” Blake chuckles. He pulls me to him and hoists me onto the counter effortlessly, something he does every morning, so I’m not even surprised. “Hear that, Munchkin? You’re my baby now.”
“Yes, your baby. If you’re not keeping me awake, the constant kicking against my ribs and bladder is. I swear I had to get up like five times.”
“Poor baby.” Blake leans down and kisses my bump gently. His eyes twinkle in amusement, and I don’t even have it in me to be angry at him. “You need to give your mommy a breather, or she gets cranky.”
“I’m not cranky,” I mutter, my fingers sliding through his mussed curls.
“Of course not,” Blake fights a smile as he pushes to his feet.
“I’m not. Just sleep deprived.”
“We can take a nap later.”
He grabs my diabetes kit from the drawer and sets everything up, taking my hand in his so he can test my fasting sugar. He turns the monitor so I can see the results.
“You’re good to go. How about I make us some breakfast? Veggie omelet?”
“I can help.”
I start to push off the counter, but Blake’s hands land on my hips. “Or you can stay right where you are and let me cook for you.” He leans down and presses his mouth against mine in a quick kiss. “Drink your coffee.”
Not leaving me room for discussion, he pulls back and gets to work, chopping veggies and mixing eggs before he pulls out the pancake batter out of the pantry. Sipping on my coffee, I watch his bicep flex with every movement he makes, and suddenly, I’m hungry for something other than food.
Blake must feel me staring at him because he glances over his shoulder, his eyes darkening. “Blondie…”
My tongue darts out, sliding over my lower lip when the sound of pounding feet against the stairs snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Are those pancakes?” Daniel asks as he enters the room, rubbing at his eyes.
“I can’t bake a cake for shit, but I can make some mean pancakes for the birthday boy.” Blake flips the last of the pancakes onto the plate before wiping his hands and turning around so he can pull Daniel into a hug. “Happy birthday.”
Wait… what?
“What about me?” Levi whines. “I want pancakes.”
Blake chuckles as he pulls back. “You can have pancakes too.”
I glance between the three Walker boys, who’re still discussing the pancakes, as I try to wrap my head around it.
“It’s Daniel’s birthday?”
All three heads turn in my direction, making me realize I said the words out loud.
“Seriously?” I glare at Blake, who winces. “Sorry, I spaced out.”
“It’s really not a big deal,” Daniel says quickly. “I told Dad not to make a fuss about it.”
“That’s not the point.” I bite the inside of my cheek and shift in my seat, unsure of what to do. Should I hug him? I didn’t think he would be comfortable with the gesture. But a handshake seemed so… cold. In the end, I settle for a simple, “Happy birthday, Daniel.”
“Thanks.” He shifts his weight from one foot to the other and rubs at the back of his neck as he glances from me to Blake and back. “It’s really fine. It’s just another day.”
But it wasn’t.
That was something I didn’t realize until I moved in with Grams, who made a fuss about every holiday, every birthday, every milestone. It wasn’t big or elaborate, but she made it special for me. She made me feel special.
“C’mon, let’s eat before the food gets cold.” Blake grabs the plates and puts them on the table. I start to slide off the counter to join them, but he’s there, his hands landing on my hips to steady me.
“You good?” Blake asks softly, tilting my chin back so I have to look at him. “With everything else going on, I spaced out and forgot to tell you.”
I give him a small smile. “Yeah, we’re good.”
Blake watches me for a moment longer before leaning down and pressing his mouth against mine.
“Are you gonna kiss all the time now?” Levi groans, making us break apart. Blake’s finger slides over my lower lip as he just stares at me.
“Any chance I have.”
Pulling back, he takes my hand in his, and we join them at the table, where we dig into our food.
“Any plans for today?” I glance at Daniel, who’s all but shoveling the food into his mouth. I swear, between him and Blake, they could eat a whole horse together.
“Not really.” He shrugs. “I’ll probably just stay home.”
“Well, I wanna party for my birthday with balloons and chocolate cake. Oh, and a bouncy house. And I’ll invite my whole class,” Levi interjects and nods. He’s so serious I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop from giggling.
Daniel just rolls his eyes at him and pushes to his feet, plate in hand. “He’ll change his mind like ten times—” He stops in front of the sink, his brows pulling together as he squints out the window. “Is somebody coming over?”
“Not that I know of,” Blake answers nonchalantly.
A little too nonchalantly.
I raise my brow, but he just winks at me.
“There is a truck in our driveway,” Daniel points out, glancing at Blake, who’s fighting a smile.
“Is there?”
If possible, Daniel’s frown becomes even bigger. “Yeah, is it Mrs. Maxwell?” Daniel turns to the window and tugs back the curtain. “It’s her day off— Holy shit !”
Daniel drops the curtain as if it burned him and spins on his heels, his mouth falling open as he stares at his father, unblinking. “Holy shit.”
“He said a bad word,” Levi points out. “ Twice. ”
Blake ruffles his hair. “We’ll let it slide this time around, buddy.”
“Is this…” He points at the window, his hand shaking slightly.
“It is.” Blake gets up and pulls out a set of keys from his back pocket. Car keys. “You wanna go and check it out?”
“Hell, yes!” Daniel takes a step toward Blake but then suddenly stops as if he remembered something. “Is this for real? This isn’t a joke? It’s mine? Like really mine?”
I watch as different emotions play on Blake’s face for a second before he nods. “It’s yours.” He tilts his head toward the door. “C’mon, let’s go check it out.”
The two of them leave the kitchen, Levi at their heels.
“I wanna see!” he yells loudly, not one to be left behind.
Rising from my seat, I follow after them. I lean against the doorway, letting them have their moment together. Daniel walks around the car, his eyes big as saucers, as Blake points out a few things to him.
“It’s a secondhand one, and it needs some work done, but it should be good for what you need.” Blake points his finger at Daniel. “I expect you to keep good grades and find a job to pay for the gas, but…”
Before he gets to finish, Daniel throws himself at Blake and hugs him. “I don’t care. Thanks, Dad.”
For a heartbeat, Blake just stands there, frozen, his arms hanging by his sides. It’s obvious he’s completely blindsided by the gesture.
I guess it’s to be expected. Although they both clearly love each other, they’ve just been butting heads for way too long. Way too similar for their own good, these two. But somewhere along the line, they’ve started to heal and mend their relationship.
A deep ache spreads behind my sternum. I raise my hand, rubbing at my chest as I watch Blake hug Daniel, his eyes falling shut as he just holds on for a long moment, taking it all in.
“Can we go test it out?” Daniel asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet once he pulls back, his excitement obvious.
“Sure thing.”
Blake hands him the keys, and Daniel just stares at them before shaking his head and unlocking the truck. When Daniel looks up, his eyes meet mine. “You wanna come with us?”
I rest my hand against my stomach. “I have some work to do, but you boys have fun.”
“I’m going!” Levi rushes toward the back seat and jumps inside.
“You sure?” Blake asks over the roof of the car.
“Yeah, papers won’t get graded on their own, unfortunately, but I wanna hear all about it once you get home.”
Daniel nods and slides into the driver’s seat, but not Blake. He walks to me, his palms cupping my cheeks as he brings his mouth to mine in a hard kiss. “I’ll see you later.”
With that, he joins his boys, and soon enough, the car pulls from the driveway. I stay in the doorway until I can’t see them any longer before slipping inside. I tidy up the space, cleaning after breakfast before I lock and leave for my own house.
I grab my work bag and drop it in the living room before going to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As I turn the faucet off, my gaze falls on Grams’ cookbook I left on the counter the other day. Wiping my hands, I flip through the pages until I find the one I want and get to work.
“Sav! Daniel sucks at driving,” Levi says as he runs into my living room and comes straight to me. I move the papers I’ve been grading at the very last second before they can scatter to the ground as he jumps on the couch next to me. “Like a lot.”
“I don’t suck at driving.” This comes from Daniel, who’s glaring at his younger brother.
“You do.” Levi pokes his tongue at him and turns to me. “The truck was making these weird noises, and he was tugging us back and forth, back and forth, and one time it was so strong, I almost flew out of the car, but the seat belt tugged me back, and now my chest is hurting.”
“It was an accident,” Daniel protests, his cheeks slightly pink as Levi rubs at his chest. “It’s different from Dad’s truck. It’s not like I did it on purpose. I just forgot about it for a second.”
“His truck is diesel,” Blake explains as he joins us, two big pizza boxes in hand. “You’ll get the hang of it soon. Now, let’s eat before the food gets cold.”
I sit straighter in my seat as he places the boxes on the coffee table. “Where did you guys go?”
“Uncle Miguel’s.” Daniel grabs a slice of pizza and shoves it into his mouth. “He called Dad when we were driving, so we stopped at his house to show him and Becky the truck.”
Blake hands me a smaller pizza box as Daniel describes the whole drive in the smallest of details and how excited the Fernandezes were when he showed it to them as I nibble at my pizza. It was a thin, whole-grain crust with some cheese and veggies.
“Do you think…” Daniel starts, rubbing the back of his head. “Can I take a few friends to the mall tomorrow after school and treat them to burgers?”
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
Daniel looks up, that smile still on his face. “Thanks, Dad. Today was the best.” He pushes upright. “I’ll go and text the?—”
“Actually…” I brace my hands against the cushion and slowly get to my feet. “There is one more thing.”
Before they can say anything, I make my way to the kitchen to grab my surprise. For a moment, the nerves get the better of me, but I push them back as I return to the living room to find the Walker boys talking amongst each other with matching confused expressions on their faces. They must hear me approach because their heads turn in my direction, and I watch as different emotions play on their faces.
“I know it’s not much but…” I shrug, placing the tray on the table in front of Daniel. “Happy birthday, Daniel.”
He just blinks and stares at the cake, silent for what feels like forever.
“You made this?” Daniel finally breaks the quiet, his voice coming out gruff.
I shift my weight from one foot to the other, my palms turning sweaty under his watchful gaze.
Shit. I shouldn’t have done it.
The cake has blue frosting with something that should look like a black car on it. Since I finished it barely an hour ago, it didn’t have the time to properly cool off. And while my baking skills weren’t shabby, I sucked at decorating. It was a silly idea to begin with.
“Yeah.” I run my fingers through my hair. “It’s fine. I know it’s not that fancy since I’m not really skilled but?—”
The words are cut short when Daniel gets to his feet and hugs me. I suck in a breath, my gaze meeting Blake’s over his son’s shoulder as he squeezes me tightly.
Daniel is… hugging me?
“Thank you,” Daniel croaks out, his words coming out muffled as he buries his head into the crook of my shoulder.
Blake’s face softens. I let out a shaky breath and wrap my arms around him. “It’s just a cake. I wish I knew earlier so I could have bought you a real present.”
Daniel shakes his head. “No, it’s not.”
He lets his hands drop and takes a step back. I want to ask him what he meant but don’t get a chance to.
“Not fair! I wanna cake for my birthday too!” Levi interjects, clearly feeling left out. “You’ll make it for me, right, Sav?”
I chuckle and ruffle his hair. “I can do that, sure. Do you wanna try it?”
They all nod in agreement, so I cut them each a slice before sitting down. The boys moan loudly as they dig in, and I can feel my smile growing bigger as I take a small piece of cake myself, the first taste bringing back all the memories with my Grams.
The first birthday cake I ever got was when I was nine. Grams taught me how to bake it. I remember her raspy laughter when we made a mess of the kitchen and sitting on the porch and sharing a slice.
“Damn, this is good.”
Daniel nods in agreement. “What cake is that? It’s vanilla, but there is something else.”
“It’s a secret.” Yearning spreads through my chest, that familiar ache back in place. My gaze drops to the cake, my throat feeling tight, so I swallow down, fighting the wave of emotions. “It’s my Grams’ recipe. She made it for my birthday every year.”
Understanding shines in Blake’s eyes. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, his lips brushing against my temple. “It’s an amazing cake.”
“I know. I couldn’t believe my luck when I found the recipe in her cookbook. It was our thing.” The corner of my mouth lifts up as I remember all the happy times with Grams. And there were many of them. She made me feel special. More than that, she made me realize that I matter, and I’m loved. “Every birthday, every celebration. She never missed a thing. Never let me feel less than. I always said one day I would make it for my kids.”
I lean my head against Blake’s arm as tears blur my vision. God, how I missed her. I missed her every day, but in moments like this, it was worse than before. It was like the reality hit me all over again, the realization that she was gone. But not forgotten. Never forgotten.
“That’s a great tradition to keep, Blondie,” Blake’s soft whisper breaks me out of my thoughts. He slicks back a strand of hair behind my ear.
I blink the tears away, my voice coming out raspy, “Yeah, it is.”
“I changed my mind,” Levi pouts, driving my attention. “I want this cake for my birthday.”
“You sure? I can make you a chocolate one.”
Levi shakes his head. “I want this exact one. On May 15 th . That’s when it’s my birthday.”
My mouth twitches upward in amusement at his serious face. “May 15 th , got it.”
Levi slides another piece of cake into his mouth, his voice coming out muffled. “When is your birthday, Sav?”
“July 2 nd .”
“We should bake you a cake too. We can do that, right, Dad?” Levi turns to Blake, his expression hopeful. “That way Sav can also have her tradition.”
“Only if she shares her recipe with us.” Blake winks at me. “Whatcha say, Blondie?”
“Hmm…” I purse my lips and tilt my head back. “It’s a really old recipe. I guess I’ll have to think about it.”
“Brat.”
I giggle softly, but the sound is swallowed by Blake’s mouth pressed against mine. The kiss is too damn short and so freaking tempting, but the boys start making gagging sounds, so we pull apart. Later. We’ll get back to this later.
All of them request another slice of cake before we go back to their house.
Blake’s fingers tighten around mine as we walk slowly behind the boys, his arm wrapped around me.
“Daniel will never forget today,” Blake says softly, so only I can hear him.
“Of course not. He got his first car. Did you see how giddy he was?”
“Fuck the car. He’ll never forget what you did for him today, Sav.” Tugging at my hand, he pulls me to a stop, his palm cupping my cheek. “Today you gave my boys something much more precious than a car.”
“It’s just a cake and a very poorly done one.”
“You’re so wrong.” Blake shakes his head. “You shared yourself with them in a way they’ll never forget, Savannah. You gave them a memory to cherish. Your kids. That’s what you said. Your kids.”
“I…” My mouth falls open as the realization hits me. “I’m sor?—”
Blake presses his finger against my lips. “Don’t you dare apologize.”
“I know they have a mother, and I’d never try to get in between that, but…” I bite the inside of my cheek. “I tried so hard to resist it.”
“It’s okay, baby.” He rubs his thumb over my lower lip. “I know.”
“No, it’s not okay.” I shake my head, needing him to understand. “Every time I’d care for somebody, I’d end up losing them. And I can’t lose another person. I can’t lose you, Blake. Any of you, really. Because losing you? It would kill me. That’s how much I love you, and it scares the living crap out of me.”
Something dark and primal shines on Blake’s face. “Say it again.”
I blink as Blake moves closer, his other hand rising to frame my face and hold me in place.
“Wha—”
“Say it again, Savannah. I’ve been waiting to hear those words for way too long.”
“I love you, Blake Walker,” I whisper, my voice coming out shaky as I voice the words out loud. “I’m completely and utterly in love with you and those boys.”
“About fucking time you admit it.”
A low growl that comes out of Blake’s lungs is stifled when his mouth crashes over mine. He devours my lips, our bodies brushing together.
My fingers slide into his hair, tugging at the strands. “Blake…”
“Again,” he murmurs, his teeth grazing down my neck and making my skin prickle under his touch.
“How many times will you make me repeat it?” I breathe, feeling a shudder go down my spine.
“Forever.” Placing a kiss on the hollow of my neck, he glances up at me. “I want you to repeat it to me forever.”
“That’s an awfully long time.”
“I don’t know about that. To me, it doesn’t seem like long enough.”
Letting out a soft breath, I press my forehead against his. “I love you, Blake Walker.”
“I love you too.” He tilts his head to the side, his mouth brushing against mine. “And when the kids go to bed, I’ll show you just how much.”