Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
SAVANNAH
The loud bang has me jumping in surprise. I look up from my book only to see Mom rushing down the stairs in a frenzy.
Dread settles inside my belly as I close the book, not even bothering to check where I left off before I get up.
“Mom?” I slide into the hallway to find her slipping into her shoes. My gaze darts to the bag tossed over her shoulder. “What’s going on?”
She looks up, surprise evident on her face as she straightens and shoves her blonde hair out of the way. “Savvy, you’re home from school.”
“Yes.”
I don’t bother pointing out that it’s Saturday, and there was no school today. She was a mess. Her cheeks were red, her eyes bloodshot. She’s been drinking. Again. She hasn’t been drinking since we got here a couple of months ago when we moved in with Grams after Mom’s boyfriend kicked us out of his house. Then again, I heard her and Grams shouting last night when I was supposed to be asleep. Grams was mad because Mom didn’t show up for my school play. Not that I expected her to since she didn’t come to any of my other school stuff. But Grams was there, sitting in the first row and clapping excitedly the whole time. She even gave me flowers after.
“Where are you going?”
“Just have something to take care of.” Mom plasters a smile as she opens the door. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
What?
I didn’t want to leave. In the last few weeks, Bluebonnet has turned into my home.
But she said I. Not we.
She was leaving.
Without me.
My heart starts beating faster as I just stare at the empty doorway. Something wasn’t right here. What would she have to take care of?
I follow after her, my anxiety growing deeper. “Mom! You can’t le ? —”
She opens the car door and shoves the bag inside before looking up. “I’ll be back, Savvy.”
With that, she slips into the seat, the door to our beat-up car slams shut with a loud groan. I watch as she looks over her shoulder, reverses out of the driveway, and speeds away.
Never once glancing in my direction.
“You look like a mess.” Becky’s eyes narrow as the door closes behind me, and for a moment, I wonder if coming here was a good idea after all.
“I bet Coach kept her up all night long.” Jessica wiggles her brows suggestively. “I wish somebody kept me up for something more fun than studying for my finals.”
The bile rises in my throat when I remember the hurt expression in Blake’s eyes as I slammed the door in his face last night. The expression I put there when I pushed him away, but seeing my mother for the first time in the last fifteen years messed me up.
Why the hell was she here after all this time? What did she want?
Different questions were popping into my mind as I tossed and turned the whole night, mixing with the memories of the past I worked so hard to forget, only for them to come up to the surface in a blink of an eye.
Fifteen years, and she still had the power to hurt me.
It was like I was that nine-year-old girl all over again, just wishing for her mother to notice me, to love me, to choose me.
But she never did.
I can see the gossip is true after all.
A shudder runs through me just as a hand lands over mine, snapping me out of my thoughts. I blink to find Becky watching me with a worried expression. “Are you okay?”
“I— Yeah. I just need that coffee. I slept like crap.”
“I’ve gotcha,” Jessica chimes in and grabs a to-go cup.
Becky’s eyes narrow at me. I shift my weight from one foot to the other, feeling uncomfortable under her watchful gaze.
“What’s really going on?”
Shit.
“Nothing, I’m just tired.” I look away, a strand of hair falling into my face and shielding me from view.
“Here you go.”
“Thanks.” Pulling out my wallet, I place the bill on the counter and grab my cup. “I’ll see you guys later.”
Before they can say anything, I turn on the balls of my feet and go for the door, only to crash into somebody as I step outside.
“Oh, I’m so…”
“Savvy.”
My muscles tense, my body locking up as the memories of the past slam into me.
One word.
How can one word hold so much power over me after all this time?
“Don’t call me that,” I bite out, my fingers curling into a fist, nails digging into my skin as I push back the memories that wanted to come out.
“Fine.” The muscle in her jaw twitches. “But we have to talk.”
Talk?
“It’s been fifteen years, Mom . There is nothing to talk about.”
I walk past her, needing to get away from her, but she follows after me. “I heard about your grandmother.”
“Is that why you came back?” I turn around to face her. “Because let me tell you, you’re only, oh, I don’t know, eight months too late. Then again, I can’t say I’m surprised.”
In the light of day, I can see Clara Parker better than I could last night. These days her light hair is more gray than blonde. The alcohol and cigarettes have taken their toll. Her skin looks washed out, frown wrinkles are more prominent, making her seem much older than her fifty years.
“I recently found out.”
I snort out loud. “And that makes it better how exactly?”
Mom glances at me. “You always were difficult, even as a child.”
Red, hot anger boils in the pit of my stomach at her words. “Me? I’m the difficult one here? If I remember correctly, you were the one who left without a backward glance and hasn’t cared to get in contact in the last fifteen years, so I’m sorry that I didn’t welcome you with open arms. I’ll try to remember that for when you decide to pop back into my life in another decade or so.” I shake my head and turn around. “I’m done here.”
“You think you’re so much better than me?” Mom calls after me. “But let’s be real, you and I? We’re the same, Savvy.”
I spin on my heels and point my finger at her. “I’m nothing like you!”
“No?” Mom’s smirk becomes bigger as her gaze falls to my stomach. “Because I’d beg to differ.”
Instinctively, I let my hand drop and cover my bump. I didn’t want her anywhere near my child. She destroyed my life. I wouldn’t let her do the same to my baby.
Why? Just why did she have to come back? Why now?
“Hey, who’s that with Savannah Parker?”
“Who… Oh, that’s her mother. She basically dropped her daughter with her grandmother and left the town years ago. I didn’t realize she came back.”
The soft whispering makes my head snap up. Mrs. Timothy was standing in front of her shop with another lady, both of them glancing in our direction. They duck their heads when they see me watching them, but I can see their mouths move as they continue whispering.
And they weren’t the only ones.
There were people walking on the street, all of their curious gazes fixed on us, making the bile rise up my throat. My cheeks are burning and sweat coats my skin.
Mom steps in front of me, a smile plastered on her face. “People talk Savannah, and I’ve heard some very interesting stories since I’ve been back. About you.” That smirk grows bigger. “About your baby daddy.” She moves closer. “How you’ve been playing house.” Another step. Her head tilts to the side as her eyes meet mine, her pupils are dilated, swallowing the blue irises. “Do you seriously think it’ll last? That he could love you? That he will stay?” She shakes her head. “You know how men are, Savvy. You’ve seen it firsthand. They leave. And your baby daddy is no different. You just wait and see.”
She lifts her arm, the back of her hand skimming over my cheek, but I push it back.
“You don’t know anything about me or Blake. But regardless, I’m nothing, nothing , like you. I’d never do to my kid what you’ve done to me.”
I hurry past her.
I need to get out of here.
“Savannah!” she yells after me, but I ignore her as I continue walking down the street. I curse myself for not taking the car. “I’m not leaving.”
No, I didn’t think she would leave.
I didn’t know what her plan was, but she wouldn’t leave until she got what she came for.
Whatever that might be.
Clara Parker was like a tornado.
There was no stopping her once she set her mind on something. It didn’t matter what destruction she caused in her wake or the lives she destroyed.