4. Thea
I miss you. Come home.
I stare at Deke’s text and shake my head.
I’ve been home a month now, and I still have no idea what I’m doing. I know I’m not ready to go back to New York. I also have no desire to speak to Deke right now. When I told Dom that Deke was the first man I”ve truly cared for since my crush on him, I wasn”t lying. It’s the truth. What I didn’t tell Dom is that Deke has changed since joining med school. He’s stressed all the time. He’s short tempered with me and everything I do seems to be the wrong thing. Two days before I came home, he slapped me because I got mad at him for screaming at me because I forgot to start the dishwasher the night before.
I mean, I know it’s nasty—that’s a given. Still, I had been on my leg all day, packing up my apartment. I was in so much pain, I had to take the prescription medicine that the doctor gave me. I could barely keep my eyes open, so I went to bed. I thought I had pushed start, but I obviously didn’t.
Until that point, Deke had never gotten physical with me. Verbally belittling when he was upset did happen, but he never hit me. I haven’t spoken to him since and I’m not sure I want to again. I asked him not to contact me until I had time to think things through. It doesn’t surprise me that he is ignoring what I want. Now that I think back on our relationship, he always ignored what I wanted when it didn’t align with his own wants and needs.
I sigh and shut my phone off. I love being back in Kentucky, but I’m exhausted with life. Luckily, Thomas made a full recovery. If something happened to him, I’m not sure any of us would have survived. T is the heart of our family. He doesn’t realize that, of course. He can’t see how special he is, or how much the family depends on and cares for him. I haven’t checked on Dom since I left the hospital that day when we had the intense conversation in the elevator. I wanted to, but I have enough trouble with men right now.
I mutter under my breath as I think once more about Deke. I probably need to change my number. If Mom and Dad ask why, I can always tell them it’s because I need a new local number for Kentucky now. Finding an apartment needs to move to the top of my list. I love my parents, but living with them is not something I want to keep doing—especially if I’m not going to return to New York.
I could live with Mattie. He has a two-bedroom house he lives in part of the time—preferring that to staying at the club some nights. It’s empty often. The problem is that when it’s not, there’s a lot of club guys there. One of those guys happens to be Dom. I haven’t heard from him since T was in the hospital. It disappoints me a little and I know that’s crazy. I shouldn’t give a damn what Dom does.
“Hey, Champ.”
I roll my eyes at Mattie as I finish walking up the sidewalk that leads to his house. He’s leaning on the front door and smiling.
“You know I hate that name, right?” I laugh as I take in my brother. I wasn’t kidding when I said he was huge. He towers over me and I’m a tall girl. His body is so massive that I think it would make three of me. His dark brown hair has a red tint with the sun shining down on him. The mischievous sparkle in his green eyes and familiar smile always feel like home. Mattie and I have always been close. I love Skylar, but my younger sister isn’t easy to get close to. My brother says it’s because our parents spoiled her. I’m not sure that’s it. They spoiled me, too. Skylar just approaches things more analytically than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s unnerving.
Mattie shrugs. “The name fits you better than the one Dad gave you.”
“I guess I can’t argue that,” I laugh as I walk into his waiting arms. He hugs me close as I breathe in his scent with a sigh. Mattie taught me how to fight. I can take down most men. I can’t quite give Mattie a run for his money, but I could do enough damage to get away if my life depended on it—even with a bum leg. My brother helping me learn self-defense after my accident is a big part of the reason that I found a way out of the pain and grief that hit me after the injury. Without Mattie, I’m not sure I’d be standing here today. I was quickly on my way to becoming a shell before he held me up. “Plus, it’s better than the one you gave Skylar,” I joke, hoping to lighten the mood.
“Well, she earned her nickname,” he mutters, and I slap him playfully.
“She’s still growing up.”
“I hope so,” he adds, and I decide to change the subject. Skylar and Mattie are oil and water.
“You’re staying here tonight, right?”
“Definitely. Do you know I heard Mom and Dad having sex last night? I may never be the same again.”
“They got louder after you and Skylar both moved out. I made the mistake of staying there one night before I bought my house.”
“That’s why I’m here tonight. I’m not sure I can look at them right now.” Mattie laughs, and I take a moment to revel in the sound. “I actually was hoping you could help me.”
“Whatcha’ need?”
“I’m going to look at some apartments this week. The ones tomorrow and Wednesday I can look at myself, but I’d appreciate it if you could go with me once I get the places narrowed down. I trust you to tell me if I’m overpaying.”
“You got enough money, Thea? I can?—”
“I’m good. Most of the money I made in New York, I didn’t spend. “Mom and Dad gae me the money they save for my college to live on. I’m pretty frugal and it’s just me, so I still have most of that, too.”
“Okay, but I’m here, you know?”
“I do. I’m good. I just need to regroup and figure out what I’m going to do. The only thing I’m sure of right now, is that I don’t want to go back to New York.”
“How does Deke feel about that?”
“Deke doesn’t get a say in it. He lost that right.”
Mattie’s eyes narrow as he studies me. “Is this a story I need to hear, Champ?”
“Not unless he gets stupid and decides to follow me here. Then…” I shrug, “maybe.”
“Thea—”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Mattie. It no longer pertains to my world. If that changes, I will let you know, I promise.”
He lets out a grunt, letting me know that he’s not happy. “You’re going to stay here. I’ll call Dragon and let him know I need tomorrow off so I can go see places with you. That said, I don’t know why you just don’t stay here. This place rarely gets used.”
“Your club buddies hang out at your place way too often. I don’t need to be tripping over them. Plus, I’m already scarred for life. I don’t need to hear my big brother having sex with one of his many twinkies.”
“I don’t bring women to my place. If I ever find a woman that I want to make my old lady, then she will be here, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. You’re safe. As for the brothers, you get along with all of them, except for Dom, and he rarely comes over these days. Right now, he’s spending his time lying drunk. If he doesn’t get his head out of his ass, Dragon is going to take his patch. He’s still pretty pissed over the whole T and Gabby thing, and you know when Dragon gets pissed?—”
The thought of Dom like that makes my stomach turn. I frown because I thought Dom was doing better. “What the hell is wrong with him?” I snap out loud, though I’m mostly talking to myself.
“I’ve been asking that question ever since he chose that bitch over you.”
“Mattie—”
“Don’t deny it, Thea. I know you left Kentucky because you were in love with him.”
“I won’t argue, but that’s over.”
“It’s his loss. He doesn’t deserve my little sister.”
I roll my eyes. “You don’t think anyone is good enough for me.”
“That’s the truth,” he says with a huge-ass grin.
“Are we going to talk out here all evening, or you going to let me in?”
“I’ll let you in. Where’s your bags?”
I hold up two Walmart bags. One has a change of clothes and the other has my toiletries. Mom always keeps her shopping bags in the broom closet. She uses them mostly for liners in the small trash cans throughout the house. I’ve always used them for overnight luggage. Mattie rolls his eyes.
“You’re the only woman I know who has a closet full of expensive as fuck luggage and prefers trash bags,” he laughs, and I find myself laughing along with him.
“It’s easier,” I mutter.
“You’re going to need more than that if you’re moving in with me.”
“Mattie—”
“What’s worse? Hearing Dad and Mom role play doctor and nurse or risking running into Dom?”
“Doctor and nurse?” I blink. “Which one is the nurse?”
“Depends on how much Dad has had to drink,” Mattie says, rubbing two fingers against his forehead as if to rub out the memories that are hiding in his head.
I literally cringe, imagining what he’s saying. “Eww! Mattie! I didn’t want to know that!”
“You think I did? I’m telling you, Champ, you’re safer at my place. Those two go at it like they just discovered what sex is and are going to fuck themselves into a coma every damn night.”
I close my eyes and physically shudder. “I never wanted to know that, Mattie! Why in the hell did you have to tell me? I don’t need that mental image in my mind.”
“It wasn’t fair that I was the only one,” he responds with a wink.
I give him the middle finger and he laughs, opens his door, and pulls me inside. Even with the newfound discovery that my parents are sex addicts with weird roleplay habits, it is the happiest I’ve been in a long time.