Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Kendall
“My God Aaron, this is the worst idea I think either of us have ever had.” I throw my hands out to my sides. What I want to do is grip his shirt and climb him like my favorite tree, but I refrain.
“I have to disagree.”
“Because you are insane.” I laugh the words.
This is ridiculous. “I always thought you were the one out of all the guys with the most level head, but I guess I was wrong. You’ve got to be worse than Bennett with all his dumb ass plans and act before you think tactics.
You may as well go throw yourself off the nearest cliff. It will be less painful.”
“And you’re calling me insane.” He chuckles and takes a step toward me.
“You are,” I tell him, pleading with my eyes for him to accept why I am trying so hard to make him understand.
“I don’t remember feeling an ounce of pain when I was with you.
In fact.” He lifts his hand and pushes back the hair from my face.
Chills cover me from head to toe and my heart begins to race.
“Every single thing I felt was more pleasurable that I’ve ever felt before.
So your idea that jumping to my death would be somehow less painful than being with you is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. ”
“I’m not Lexi, and Sutton, I’m not—”
“I don’t want you to be either of them.”
When the pad of his thumb drags over my lower lip I lean into his touch. Flashbacks of our night hit me hard as my body instantly remembers.
“I can never be the woman your mother wants for you, Aaron,” I confess, knowing that all I will be is a disappointment.
“She only wants me happy.” His lips skim over mine and I close my eyes, wanting to fight these feelings but knowing that I am not strong enough.
The truth is no one has ever triggered the things in me that this man has.
It’s a connection so much deeper than physical, and my world rocks a little with the reminder.
“I’m pretty sure all I’ll do is make you miserable,” I confess and he kisses the side of my neck. I arch my neck, giving him access without a second thought.
“I’d rather be miserable with you, than bored and lonely with anyone else.” He nips at my jaw, pulling my body closer to his and I let him. “All I can think about is you, Kendall.”
“That will fade, give it time.”
“Not a chance.” Aaron leans back cupping my jaw with his hand. “I want you,” he says and I close my eyes to avoid his stare. “Baby look at me.” I take a deep breath then do what he asks.
“I don’t know why you think you wouldn’t be good at this, because I’ve seen you with everyone you love and you are loyal. You love hard, Kendall,” he pushes and I can’t take anymore. I hurry to press my lips to his, hoping to quiet him.
He is quick to catch on understanding that I need to bring this conversation to a halt.
Fisting his shirt, I pull him harder against me as he reaches around to cup my ass. Lifting me, instantly I wrap my legs around his waist and we are right back to our night outside the bar. The night that changed everything even though I swore it wouldn’t.
His kiss grows hungry, just how I like it. Biting my lower lip he tugs and I whimper. Sucking softly to soothe the ache, I grind my hips against him and he moans.
Before I know what hits me, I’m on my back on the workbench with the sounds of tools hitting the floor at his feet.
Aaron unbuttons my shorts, grabbing the sides to drag them down over my legs, tossing them to the floor.
Everything about this moment is hurried, hot, and demanding. Like we are starving for the connection, hungry for the release.
“This means something,” he says and I reach out undoing the button of his jeans. “Admit it,” he adds, placing his hand over mine to stop me.
“Aaron.” I try to pull my hand back but he tightens his grip.
“Tell me.” He holds my stare. “Tell me you feel something and that this isn’t just sex.”
I want to yell at him and tell him to shut up. I want to tell him he is killing the buzz but I can’t seem to lie, not in this moment. I can’t ignore the emotions racing through me. My words will say it, but my eyes, they won’t lie.
“But it doesn’t change anything,” I confess and all he does is smile.
“You’re wrong Kendall, it changes everything.”
With one quick swoop his pants are pushed down and he is entering me, with nothing between us. I know I should stop him, not because I’m afraid of any STD, but because this, it’s too much. I’ve given this to no one, the part of me that leaves no barrier.
Tears fill my eyes and I am quick to close them, knowing that I have to hide this vulnerability. I can’t be this weak. I can never give a man control over me again, I won’t. I am in control, damnit I am in control.
Aaron moves with expert thrusts, every single time drawing out something in me that scares the hell out of me. I feel him everywhere, in every part of my body. Like he is part of me, inside me, reading me like a book. I don’t have to ask, I don’t have to demand, because the man just knows.
My God he knows me more than anyone else has, and I still have no idea how.
We’ve never shared a deep conversation about our wants and needs. But if there is such a thing as the perfect match, I can only admit to myself and only me, that Aaron is mine.
And now more than ever I want to run!