Chapter 18 Daniel
DANIEL
I stormed out the moment the man dismissed the team, and I guess myself as well. Who knew. The man thought “embedded with” meant “conscripted to.”
The target held no more high-value intel than my teacher-sister did when it came to this fucking op. It was a suicide mission. He was sending Echo into a shitshow of epic proportions for something we could get in other ways.
“Agent Lennox?”
I turned, gritting my teeth to suppress the frustrated sigh that filled my chest. “Yes, sir. Can I help you?”
“Yes, Agent Lennox. You can help me by remembering to stay in your damn lane.”
As if intel wasn’t my fucking lane.
Swallowing the smirk that threatened to overtake my face, I said. “Excuse me, Commander, but the last I checked, your title was Commander, United States Navy, Naval Special Warfare, Group 1, Team 3. Correct?”
“Yes.” The man had actually preened.
“Well, then, sir, maybe you should stay in your lane, because my title is Central Intelligence Agency, Operational Liaison Officer, Naval Special Warfare, Group 1, Team 3. So, clearly, if anyone needs to remember their lane, it would be you, sir.”
“I’ll regret that, Agent Lennox.”
“I might.”
The smug bastard smiled, nodded, and turned to leave. “But, then again, so might you, Commander.”
“How’s that?”
I let the smirk I’d been fighting loose.
“Since you decided to override the information your Intelligence Liaison Officer provided to you, I documented all the concerns I have for this op and emailed them to myself to create a paper trail, sir. So, you’d better hope the team comes back whole, otherwise I’ll put that information in the hands of the right people, sir. ”
Turning my back on the man, I stalked off toward my room. I’d had enough for the day. I’d not slept more than a couple of hours at a stretch since we got here.
Cranking up the air conditioning and turning on my playlist on my laptop, I dropped to the bed. I let my eyes fall closed, only for them to pop open again.
“Fuck!”
I rose to sit on the side of my bed and scrubbed my hands over my face and head. The beard I had going on was getting out of hand, as were the curls. They’d gotten long enough that I could tuck them behind my ears.
I let my head drop to my hands, resting my elbows on my knees. I had four hours and private quarters. Or as private as you could get in JBad. At least we weren’t in Rhino anymore. Thank fuck. That place sucked. I’d never been happier than when we handed it over to the Marines.
The polygraph in my brain screamed LIE so loud it made my ears ring. I’d never been happier than I’d been before boarding that transport plane in Coronado. Curled up with Xander, fucking or not, that was when I’d been happiest.
And then I fucked it up by getting pissed at a modern-day alpha male warrior for trying to protect his person.
I hated anyone thinking of me as a dude in distress that the big, strong SEAL needed to hide away, like that scene in Fee’s favorite book, where the highland lord stuffs his female love interest in a rock crevice to hide her from a rival clan.
The number of times Fiona read that book, the name of which escaped me, and expounded on that scene and one about firewater or some shit, burned that book into my brain.
I always felt the author portrayed the female character as weak, and that’s how Xander made me feel.
As if trusting me to watch his six was a ridiculous idea.
Just thinking about it shoved me back into that mindset.
And if I couldn’t find my way out of it, I’d never figure out how to right this sinking fucking ship of a…
Hell, I couldn’t even bring myself to call what we had a relationship. More like the promise of one? Maybe.
Grabbing my laptop, I opened the email from Fiona where she screwed my head on straight.
You’ve never liked that book. Nor did you ever understand it.
Does the Buchanan think she’s a weak girl?
Yes, in the beginning, but she proves him wrong time and time again.
He comes to know she’s strong. And not just strong, but much stronger than him in many ways.
And he realizes she’s not only his strength but also his weakness.
While the email didn’t go into details about the who, it was clear to me when I let logical thought and not hurt feelings rule my gray matter. Xander didn’t think me incapable; he didn’t trust himself to get the job done while worrying about my safety.
Knuckles rapped on the plywood door, and I sighed. I just wanted to be left alone. I needed time to myself. There were plenty of people in the command center, so I ignored the interloper.
Only they refused to be ignored. Rapping turned to pounding until I feared the fist hitting it from the other side would come through it entirely, and not just make it rattle in its frame.
“What?” I asked, yanking the door open. “Xander! What…um…sorry. Come in.”
He stepped inside, and I shut the door behind him. The room might’ve been private, but it was as tiny as a shoebox, with only enough room for a twin bed and a desk that did double duty as a nightstand and a rod with shelves at the end of the bed for clothing and shoes.
“Nice…uh…nice space.”
With the two of us standing between the door and the bed, the gap between our bodies felt even tinier than it was.
And that space evaporated once our eyes met and held.
The way this man affected me and the pull he had over me…
they were un-fucking-real. I’d been so fucking pissed at him, and now, after weeks of not communicating with him at all and barely making eye contact with him, the battle between stepping away and getting closer fought hard for control.
Swallowing, I asked, “What…was there something you needed?”
“I wanted to apologize…” he broke off, and I waited.
I refused to let the man off the hook. Did I finally understand what his reasoning mostly was? Yes. Did it make it alright? Not in the least.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dismissed you the way I did when insurgents hit the camp. You were right. You’re a trained CIA operative. They don’t let you guys out in the field without knowing how to handle yourselves.”
I grabbed him, pulling him into my arms to kiss him with all I had. I thought for sure he’d downplay and backpedal, but he didn’t. The words blew me away. Nowhere near the way the feel of him in my arms did, though, and especially not when his wrapped around me and our clothing disappeared.
He shoved me against the door, grabbing a towel from the end of the bed.
The fabric pulled taut between his hands and pressed against my mouth as he leaned in, whispering, “You couldn’t stay quiet if someone paid you a king’s ransom.
Best to stuff you full so when I make you scream, we don’t bring the whole base down on us. ”
I opened, and he did just as he suggested; he shoved the towel between my lips and teeth, and he growled, “Bite down and keep quiet.”
I did as he ordered, groaning through the fabric as he played with my nipples. First with his hands, then his lips, tongue, and mouth. The man assaulted my senses, attacking from every front with everything he had. I needed him. I needed more.
“You got supplies?” he asked, against my chest
His breath ghosted over the wet puckered flesh of my nipple.
“Answer me, Daddio,” he whispered.
I shook my head. Was the man nuts? No, I didn’t have supplies. I had no need for supplies.
“A blowjob it is,” he said with a quick kiss.
Spitting out the towel, I held him in place when he moved to kneel. “Two blow jobs,” I whispered against his mouth.
“Fuck. Yes. I like the way you think.”
I buried my tongue in his mouth and pushed him toward the tiny ass bed that I barely fit on. We tumbled on it together. Mouths fused, hands roaming, cocks rubbing together as we ground into each other desperately seeking relief from the weeks, turned months, of service.
I missed this.
I missed him under me, in me.
We were stupid for doing this here. Anybody could come by at any time and knock on the door. There was nowhere to hide if someone knocked.
The danger made it so much sweeter. I turned around, straddling his face, watching my cock slide between his lips, his tongue dancing over the head of my dick, licking and sucking at me as I buried myself in his throat.
He gagged. His nails bit into my flesh, not to push me away, but to force me closer. Widening my knees as much as I could, I did what he asked and slid in further. He moaned.
Fuck me. I missed this, him.
A scream built inside me, one neither of us could afford, so I fell over him, my hand holding his dick steady as I swallowed him to the root.
His taste burst on my tongue, reminding me again of what I’d been missing.
How the small amount of time I spent with this man cemented him in my soul the way it had confused the hell out of me, but I refused to fight what felt so fucking right.
Sliding my tongue around him, another spurt of precum filled my mouth, and I groaned.
He thrust up into me, and I repeated the favor.
The give and take was enough to make me lose my shit, but Xander pushed the envelope.
His hands went from caressing and massaging the muscles of my back and legs to toying with my hole and pinching and twisting my nipples the way he knew drove me nuts.
Pressing a finger into my mouth alongside his dick to get it good and wet, I returned the favor, playing with his balls and teasing his hole. What I wouldn’t give to breach him, to feel his ass wrapped around my fingers or cock when he came.
And he was close to doing just that.
But then, so was I.
The dancing tingles of pleasure picked up cadence, focusing their efforts at the base of my spine. I lost the rhythm we’d fallen into, and his teeth scraped over my tender flesh. Hissing around him, drool ran from my mouth, coating him and my hand, easing the somewhat rough glide of my hand.