CHAPTER NINE
SETH
Jennifer arrives at exactly eight a.m. and I smile from my place at the door with her cup of coffee in hand.
I admit I was rather insufferable yesterday in how I handled her lateness.
When eight came and went and she didn’t show up, I was gripped with worry.
First and foremost that something had happened to her outside of her control.
That thought was quickly dismissed, and instead irrational fear took its place.
Surely what I felt wasn’t one-sided. We kissed, held hands constantly, chatted and ate together, and did all the things a couple learning about each other would. Why would she act like that unless she was as attracted to me as I was to her?
No, her lateness was an innocent mistake on her part, not some power play to put me in my place. Jennifer was too pure and sweet to ever behave like that, let alone think that way.
Yes, perhaps our relationship was a tad on the stranger side, but I wasn’t that well versed when it came to successful relationships.
So what did I truly know about love and dating?
All I did know was how right she felt in my arms and how me leaving here without her at the end of the month wasn’t happening.
I’m not proud of my temper or how I flew off the handle with her.
I’m a man previously known for my control.
Ironclad control cost me dearly. Years of painfully rigid control and suppressed stress that silently did damage to my heart.
Jennifer is helping to heal the damage with her care and cooking, while her company heals the nonphysical part of my heart.
As she walks up to the cabin, I give a satisfied nod. No more control and no more waiting.
“Good morning.” I hand her the cup, adoring the way her eyes light up.
“Good morning. Thank you.” She takes the coffee, and our fingers brush. She doesn't pull away immediately, and neither do I as heat builds between us.
We've been doing this dance for over two weeks now. I've been patient because I needed her to believe this is real and that I'm not going anywhere.
But I’ve been patient long enough. Today we take our relationship to the next logical level. Jennifer, willing and wet, in my bed.
She's wearing leggings today and an oversized purple sweatshirt that somehow makes her look even more touchable.
Her brown hair is pulled back with a matching purple headband, and I want to take it off and run my fingers through her hair and then strip her out of her clothes and take her right here in the entranceway of the cabin.
“You already did your yoga?” she asks, cradling the cup.
I try to pull back on my lustful feelings and semi-manage to sound normal as I say, “Yes. I’m ready for our walk after I take my meds.”
It's become part of the routine. She waits while I line up my pills on the counter, the blood pressure meds, the blood thinner, the aspirin, and take them one by one. I’m a bit of a baby about swallowing pills, but I’ve gotten better. I’ve had to. Then, I check my blood pressure.
“One twenty-three over seventy-eight,” I read off the display.
Jennifer comes to look over my shoulder, and I can smell her shampoo. That floral scent drives me crazy. “That's perfect, isn't it?”
“It's optimal. Same as yesterday.” I pull up the app and show her the graph. Two weeks of steady improvement. “My doctor's going to be thrilled.”
“I'm thrilled.” She squeezes my arm, and the casual touch makes my skin feel too tight. “You've worked so hard for this.”
“We've worked hard for this.” I take her hand, threading my fingers through hers. “Ready for the walk?”
We take the lake trail at our usual pace, but today everything feels different. Charged. Like the air before a thunderstorm.
I keep catching her looking at me when she thinks I'm not paying attention.
Her eyes trace the line of my shoulders, drop to my arms, then dart away.
I do the same to her. The curve of her hips.
The way her leggings hug her thighs. And the soft thrust of her breasts against the front of her sweatshirt.
“You're quiet today,” she says.
“Just thinking.”
A teasing glint gleams in her eyes. “About?”
You. Us. How much longer I can keep my hands to myself and if having sex out in the open is illegal. It probably is; otherwise, people would be doing it all the time. “About how good I feel. How different these weeks have been from my entire adult life.”
Her head tilts to the side. “Different good or different bad?”
“Different perfect.” I pull her to a stop at our favorite overlook. The lake stretches out below us, the morning sun turning it to liquid gold. “I've been thinking about something.”
“What?”
“When the month is up, I'm not going back to the city.” The words come out before I've fully thought them through, but they feel right. “Not permanently. I can work remotely. Stay here, with you.”
Her eyes go wide. “Seth...”
“I know it's fast. I know we haven't talked about it. But I can't... I can't go back to that life, Jennifer. It almost killed me. And now that I know what living actually feels like?” I cup her face and stare into her warm brown eyes. “I want this. I want you.”
Her cheeks flush a bright pink, and her eyes grow wider. “That’s a huge decision to make so suddenly. You can’t possibly-”
Impatiently, I cut her off. “I can know, and I do.”
I claim her mouth in a kiss full of hunger, need, and an emotion that I’ve never felt for another woman before, and doubt I ever will again.
Jennifer is it for me. She’s all I need and want.
So I kiss her with the morning sun warm on our shoulders and the lake glittering below us and pour all my feelings into the kiss.
She melts into me, her hands fisting in my shirt, and I've never been more certain of anything in my life.
When we finally break apart, we're both breathing hard.
“Come on,” I murmur against her moist lips. “Let's finish the walk before I forget about doctor's orders and carry you back to the cabin.”
Her cheeks flush brighter, and I grin.
The walk takes longer than usual because we keep stopping to touch and kiss each other. By the time we make it back, my watch shows we've done fifty minutes instead of thirty, but I don't care. My heart rate is elevated for the best possible reason.
We make breakfast together, shakshuka, eggs poached in spicy tomato sauce. Jennifer found the recipe and insisted we try it. I'm in charge of the sauce while she prepares the eggs.
“Little more cumin,” she instructs, tasting from the wooden spoon.
“You're very bossy in the kitchen,” I tease.
She sticks her tongue out at me. “You like it.”
I do. I like her confidence here, the way she knows exactly what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it. It makes me wonder what else she'd be confident about if I gave her the chance.
The thought sends heat through me, and I have to focus on stirring the sauce before I burn it.
We eat on the deck, the sun rising higher in the blue, cloudless sky. She makes these little sounds of pleasure as she eats that are completely going to destroy what little restraint I still possess.
“This is so good,” she moans around a bite of bread dipped in sauce.
“Jennifer.”
She pauses mid-bite. “What?”
“You're making sounds.”
“Sorry?” She looks confused.
I lean closer and lower my voice. “Don't apologize. Just... be aware that those sounds are doing things to me.”
Her eyes darken with understanding, and she very deliberately takes another bite, moaning just a little louder.
Minx.
I'm around the table in an instant, burying my heated face in her neck. She squeals and laughs even as her arms go around my waist.
“You're killing me,” I growl against her skin.
“Good.” But her voice is breathless now, her laughter fading into something else as I kiss along her throat.
My phone buzzes on the table. We both ignore it.
It buzzes again. And again.
Jennifer pulls back slightly. “Should you check that?”
“No.” I'm kissing along her collarbone now, pulling her sweatshirt to the side to bare more of her skin to eager lips. “It's not an emergency.”
“How do you know?”
“Because the only emergency I care about is how badly I want you right now.”
She laughs, but it's shaky. “Seth...”
My phone starts ringing. Not buzzing. Actually ringing.
I groan, pressing my forehead against her shoulder. “I hate my life.”
With a little shimmy, she gently pushes me away. “Go ahead and check it. It might be important.”
I grab the phone, ready to snap at whoever's interrupting, and see my COO's name.
Cockblocked by my COO, that sounds like the title of a Reddit post.
“What,” I snap, not bothering with pleasantries.
“Seth, we have a situation.” Allen sounds stressed, which is unusual for him. “The Beijing deal. Zhang is pulling out completely. Says he's going with our competitor unless you personally fly there and convince him otherwise.”
My stomach drops. The Beijing deal. Nine months of negotiation. Two hundred million dollars. One of the biggest opportunities we've had in years.
“When does he need an answer?”
“End of week. Seth, I know what the doctor said, but this is-”
“Let him walk.”
Silence on the other end.
“What?” Allen finally says.
“Let him walk. If he doesn't trust our team enough to close the deal without me holding his hand, then he's not the kind of partner we want anyway. Two hundred million dollars be damned.”
Jennifer is watching me, her hand resting on my chest. I can feel my heart beating hard against her palm, and cover her hand with mine, holding her there.
“Seth, this is two hundred million-”
“I know what it is. And I'm telling you, let it go. Make a counteroffer if you want, but I'm not flying to Beijing. I'm not leaving.”
Not now and not ever. Forget a heart attack; if I leave Jennifer, I leave my heart with her.
“Okay,” he says slowly. “Okay. I'll handle it.”
“I know you will. That's why I hired you.”
I end the call, toss the phone aside, and look at Jennifer, who's staring at me like I've grown a second head.
“You just walked away from two hundred million dollars,” she whispers.
“I walked away from a bad partner and a deal that would have required me to go back to my old life.” I cup her face. “I told you. I'm not going back. Not for any amount of money.”
“Seth...”
“Jennifer.” I pull her closer until our faces are inches apart. “Do you understand what I'm saying? I choose this and you. I choose to live. Some deal in Beijing isn't worth dying for.”
Her eyes are shining with unshed tears. “You're sure?”
“I've never been more certain of anything in my life.”
I kiss her then, deeply and desperately, and I forget all about deals, money, and everything that used to matter.
This is what matters. She is what matters.