7. Sutton
Sutton
“ T hat man is either going to be the death of you or your happily ever after.”
I scowled over Dex’s declaration, my gaze glued to Jimmy’s lush ass as he walked toward Frenchie’s exit without a backward glance.
I’d hoped to see Jimmy again in this lifetime, but goddamn.
He made me salivate as though I hadn’t eaten in a week.
I thirsted like it was late July and a heat wave smothered our town.
Lust tightened my balls when I’d noted his shaped brows and eyelashes were darker than his light, blond hair.
And that nose ring, along with the one in his belly and the hint of metal I’d seen through his tongue, made me wonder if there was any below his waistband too.
Thank fuck for tight briefs because the thought of a piercing anywhere near that boy’s groin caused blood to head southward again with serious intent.
And with how he continuously licked his lips, drawing my attention to their plumpness, how he lowered his voice while sidling up close to me—the boy was pure sex and full of promise of a good time.
He’d had plenty of practice while sowing his wild oats and making some serious cash down in Boston.
Which he hadn’t admitted to when I’d asked what he’d been up to since leaving.
Not that I’d expected him to up and spill the truth, but still. Would have gone a long way toward helping me rouse the tiniest bit of trust in the boy.
Jimmy might be all big, innocent eyes and flirtatious smirks, but anyone who’d seen shit and dealt with it on a daily basis would recognize he hid his true self. One that still called to the caretaker and fixer in me even though I knew better to get involved with someone like him.
I couldn’t help the desire to tear down his walls, rip off the facade he wore to experience the real man beneath.
Every part of my being yearned to take him apart piece by piece until he went quiet and pliant, a sated, blissed-out beauty snuggling against my chest where he would finally find the acceptance and peace he’d been desperate for as a kid.
Goddamned kryptonite.
Needing to adjust myself but not about to offer Dex something else to give me shit about, I turned away before Jimmy slipped out the door, flagging down Iris, Frenchie’s wife.
“Another round,” I said, holding up my empty beer bottle, hoping a third drink would numb my body enough that thoughts of Jimmy wouldn’t make my hormones behave like a teenager’s.
Dex set his empty atop the bar as well, accepting a cold one from Iris along with me.
We sipped in silence for a few seconds, both of us lost in own heads.
“He’s changed.”
I glanced over at my best friend who studied the label on his bottle. “What did you pick up on while hanging out beside him unnoticed?”
“You have eyes in the back of your head.” Dex huffed. “Swear to God.”
I chuckled and took a long pull.
“He’s always been a world-weary wise kid?—”
I snorted.
“—but there’s substance and maturity that he lacked when he’d lit out like his tail was on fire.
You can see it in his eyes. How he talked to other people who greeted him.
His smile was real on occasion, especially when asking about them and their loved ones, oftentimes by name.
Yeah, he’s a flirt, but he uses his words to uplift rather than cause trouble.
” Dex’s throat bobbed as he swallowed a few gulps of his beer.
Heaving an exhale, I leaned onto the bar with my elbows. “Yeah. I’d guess his life in Boston hadn’t been the rainbows and butterflies he’d probably hoped for.”
Jimmy was also even more alluring than online images suggested, the embodiment of everything I hadn’t realized how badly I longed for until laying eyes on him.
Beneath that facade, Jimmy Riley was still that hurting little boy, desperate for a word of edification and affirming, affectionate touches.
And I longed to give him both in spades.
Every part of me wanted to wrap him up in my arms and erase the flickers of fear that lay in his eyes when he spoke of his dad’s house and selling the property. The place would have to be cleaned out and cosmetic upgrades done before an offer was put on the decrepit home in the worst part of town.
Would he do it by himself?
Face down his demons without anyone to offer support if he needed a helping hand both physically and mentally?
The thought of him standing alone in front of that house of horrors I’d driven by yesterday did not settle right in my guts.
My fingers itched to entwine with his, offering him something solid to hold onto in case the terror of memories got the best of him.
I’d heard him whimper and cry out in his drunken sleep while on the jail cell’s cot enough times to know he hadn’t escaped his childhood trauma unaffected.
“What’s up with Christian Cole?” I asked, ready to turn my focus elsewhere and well aware the guy stared our way.
“What about him?” Dex asked, his tone guarded. He glanced up the bar, and I bit back a smirk as sparks flashed between the two men. If they weren’t careful, those two would burn the town down to ash.
“I heard from Kendra and Harry this morning that he applied for the same position you did.”
A muscle ticked in Dex’s jaw, and he gave his beer his full focus, pink staining his high cheekbones. “He did.”
“He doesn’t have the experience you do. He also didn’t grow up in Pippen Creek and commit his life to keeping this town safe like you have.”
Dexter had been hired at the fire station not long after graduation, and he’d been a dedicated firefighter for our town for as long as I’d worn a badge.
Christian had moved to Pippen Creek a few years earlier with his parents who’d bought The Moose’s Muse, and while Dex and I had close to decade on the guy, he’d had his heart set on fire chief, same as Dex who’d put in the time and effort to deserve the job.
Both men were competitive as hell, their word spats amusing as fuck even though they often left my best friend in a downright shitty mood and in desperate need of getting laid.
“You two ought to just fuck already,” I muttered, noting how both stared at each other without hint of caring over who noticed or what people thought of their supposed feud.
Dex sipped his beer, dark eyes intent on the bar’s opposite end. “He’s not into guys.”
My laugh turned into a snort, the type that caused a man to choke.
Dex slapped my back as I caught my breath.
“Are you fucking blind?” I rasped, clearing my throat once more.
“Cole would drop to his knees and worship your cock the second you pointed to the ground.” I stated the absolute truth I expected all of Pippen Creek was well aware of.
“Fuck already and end this tension everyone in this bar can feel.”
“You mean like the same sexual draw between you and Jimmy?”
I shifted on my stool, my lip curling into a snarl.
“Don’t deny it, Sutton,” Dex stated quietly, a hint of teasing in his voice. “Anyone with eyes could see the truth.”
“He’s too young,” I tossed the excuse I’d focused on before.
“Bullshit,” Dex replied as he always did. “Try again.”
“He’s nothing but trouble.”
“Maybe,” Dex agreed. “But he could be a fun time for you—hell, an eye-opening couple of days or weeks depending on how long he stays in town.”
I sipped my drink, not tasting the hops or even paying attention to the liquid sliding down my throat. “And what do I do when he leaves again, hmm?”
“Sutton.”
Lips pursed, I shook my head. “I can’t afford to lower my walls and give him the chance to own my heart if he doesn’t have plans to stick around, Dex. Even though I’m scared shitless to let someone in, I want forever, not some sexy, warm body in my bed just to ease the ache in my balls.”
“But what an easing it would be,” he teased with a waggle of his eyebrows.
I elbowed the fucker, as he was fond of doing with me, but didn’t disagree. Considering his experience with sampling from all of the local men into dick and the apps he used to locate said guys, I wasn’t about to argue.
But I needed more, goddammit, and I’d been hurt enough in the past that I knew without question what I did or didn’t want invading my peaceful yet lonely existence.
Putting my heart on the line by falling into bed with a lying younger man who called out to every single part of me was nothing but absolute fucking trouble, exactly as I’d stated.
Jimmy Riley would eventually grow bored with the old chief’s body and head back to Elite Escort’s gay branch, who’d supplied him with hungry dick and a well-padded bank account for the previous five years.
No way a sex worker would ever settle down with a man sixteen years his senior whose sex drive would pale in comparison to his energetic ass. The boy would wear me out on day one.
The continued thickness in my shaft argued a different story, but I reasoned my unusually strong desire for release was due to lack of action.
Jimmy was not a safe place for me, however, that truth wouldn’t stop me from being there for him as a friend if he needed me.
But further interaction required I keep my own walls sturdy and remember how being vulnerable only ended with broken hearts. I would be smart to remember the devastation left in Darla’s wake and how long it’d taken for healing to allow me some sort of joy in life outside of Jamie.
Never again.
Mind set, I finished my beer, said my goodbyes, and went home to a dark and quiet house where I focused on the plans Jamie had to propose that night and the surety of gaining another son.
A smile might have curved my lips while I lay in bed alone, but the heaviness in my chest, the unpleasant ache of longing traveled with me into my dreams as it did every night.