25. Sutton
Sutton
D ex was handsy as fuck, snagging my focus and suspicion as he led me toward the bar with a firm steering of his arm over my shoulders.
A quick scan to the left revealed Christian Cole at the bar’s far end, which clued me in on what my best friend did.
Shaking my head, I sat on the stool Dex had led me to. “What the hell is up with you two?” I asked after Iris poured us both a beer.
“He’s an arrogant know-it-all. Cocky shit who needs taken down a peg.”
That wasn’t anything Dex hadn’t already told me. “Sounds like someone I’m well acquainted with,” I said, a smile in my voice.
Dex muttered a curse my way before sipping his beer.
“Just fuck him already and get it out of your system,” I suggested what I’d said dozens of times already, picking up my beer.
He clunked his glass back on the bar, lips downturned. “He’s the last man I’d stick my dick into.”
I almost snorted my mouthful of beer across the bar top. “All you do when he’s around is stare at his ass.”
Dexter had nothing to say on that matter because I didn’t lie.
“He’s refusing to drop his bid for the job I deserve,” Dex grumbled. “Trying to wear my ancient ass out and force me to quit. Says I’m getting old.”
“You’ve got what? Eight years on him? Not much of an age difference if you ask me.” A hell of a lot less than the years between me and Jimmy.
Dex glanced at the mirror behind the bar, and a grin split his face. He rubbed my sagging shoulder with a weird, lingering touch.
“The fuck?” I muttered, jerking away from him. “Haven’t you figured out manipulation isn’t going to land you into Christian’s bed?”
A throat cleared behind me.
“Hey, kid,” Dex said to the mirror as I turned, a shot of adrenaline racing through me at the sight of scowling blue eyes filled with murderous rage.
“Not a fucking kid ,” Jimmy muttered at my best friend.
Dex held his hands up in mock surrender, making it abundantly clear what he’d been playing at since we’d walked into Frenchie’s.
He’d seen Jimmy upon entry when I hadn’t because the way he’d steered me after I stepped in behind him.
Bastard.
I finger tapped the bar in annoyance as my clenched jaw began to ache.
“Dex was just leaving,” I stated through gritted teeth, the command in my voice more than a hint while spinning my stool to face my best friend.
“I was?” Dex attempted an innocent voice, but his smirk betrayed him.
Jimmy continued to glare at him, giving off possessive vibes that sent blood rushing to my groin.
A jolt of hope caused my breath to bottle up in my chest. “Yes, you were. Are. Leave .”
Chuckling, Dex slid from his stool. “Mission accomplished,” he murmured and sauntered toward the bathroom.
This bit of manipulation I wouldn’t complain about because he’d gotten me the attention I’d been trying to gain.
In my periphery, I watched Christian set down his beer and follow after Dex, but I couldn’t tear my focus off Jimmy’s slender form as he perched his plump ass on Dex’s vacated stool.
Mere inches separated our knees, but I kept still rather than shift forward on my seat to touch him like I longed to do.
Baby blues latched onto mine, the raw emotion in them yet another gift to my aching heart.
“Why haven’t you texted me back?” I asked, keeping my voice low since people bracketed us in on both sides. “I’ve been worried about you since that run-in with Kurt.”
“I don’t want a hero, Sutton,” Jimmy said, brow still furrowed. “I’m not some little boy in need of a savior anymore.”
“I never believed you were—and you’re all man, Jimmy. I’ve been well aware of that fact for years.”
He stared at me, the wrinkle between his troubled eyes slowly smoothing out.
“I thought we shared a pretty special moment on Sunday. More connection than I’ve felt with anyone—ex-wife included,” I said, determined to be vulnerable even if he refused to be in return. “But you walked out of my place like you got what you’d wanted and had no further use of me.”
So much for that relaxed expression. A dent marred his forehead again. “Because you went to shower off the stench of me without a backward glance. No different than a paying customer!” He kept his voice lowered, but the hiss, the hint of pain in his voice, hit my gut as if he’d hollered the words.
Jesus fucking Christ, I had messed up. So many assumptions had cost us what could have been precious hours. Growing together. He’d given me vulnerability, and I hadn’t considered his emotional state while trying to protect my own.
I’d been the selfish one this time.
Fucking bullshit pasts had influenced us both, and that shit needed to be taken care of so this didn’t happen again.
“I’m sorry,” I said, imploring him to believe me. “I got caught up in my head, imagining you sashaying away from me at the end of this. Then you used the flirty tone of voice you do when trying to manipulate me—just hit me the wrong way, making me fear the worst.”
Jimmy nodded as though he understood. “That side of me always comes out to play when I’m uncomfortable.”
I flinched at his word choice, my eyebrows drawing together. “I made you feel uncomfortable while we were?—”
“No!” Jimmy shook his head, eyes wide. “No. After ,” he emphasized with a soothing voice. “I didn’t know what to expect, and I was flying higher than any kite, waiting for a burst of wind to rip through me and send me tumbling to the ground.”
I could see the picture he’d painted of his emotions and shifted closer in my desire to connect with him. Our knees bumped, and his breath caught as though feeling the same electrical zap to his nerve endings as I did.
We stared at each other, his skin flushing, my fingers tingling to touch his warm, soft flesh. Pull him toward me. Hold him. My heart beat heavy in my ears. Frenchie’s and its other patrons faded in my periphery as I focused on the alluring, needy boy peering at me.
Maskless.
A heady desire radiated from his eyes. “I got two offers on the house.”
My shoulders hitched, and my stomach turned to a rock at his announcement that sounded more like a question. I swallowed audibly. “Will you leave town after the closing?” I asked, my tone already broken from yet again assuming the worst.
He lifted and dropped one shoulder, gaze never shifting off my face as though hoping I would answer for him. I opened my mouth to tell him exactly where I wanted him.
A clattering of plates jerked my focus from Jimmy’s expectant face.
Someone had knocked their dinner off their table.
A quick scan of the bar’s interior revealed no sign of Dex or Christian. Were they still in the bathroom? Slipped out together without my knowing?
Babs raised her drink my way with a smirk and wink.
Iris glanced between me and Jimmy with an encouraging smile while drying a glass.
The warmth of Jimmy’s knee against mine, the sweet scent of him wafting beneath my nose reeled me back in.
I’d swallowed down the bait he tempted me with, hook, line, and sinker, years ago. There would be no protecting my heart—he already controlled my desire. He owned me with his neediness.
I faced him head-on, mouth drying and heart racing. “Come home with me.”
His pupils swelled, and he licked over his lower lip but without his usual cunningness. “Yeah?”
That was yet another question, not an answer. “Do I have to talk you into it?”
“No!” Jimmy rubbed his palms over his jeans and swallowed hard. “Just…uh…you’re sure you want me?”
Insecurity bled from his tone, and I realized that I held the string to that kite tied to his heart as he did mine. My craving to acquaint myself with every facet of him tripled without an ounce of fear.
Uncaring I hadn’t told many people about my being bisexual, I threaded our fingers together, hoping to assure us both that I had us well in hand. “I want every part of you, sweet boy. The good, the bad, and everything in between.”
Tears welled in his eyes. “Even the ugly?”
God, this man made my chest ache. “There’s nothing ugly about you, Jimmy Riley. You’re beautiful inside and out.”
He inhaled a shaky breath, a dazzling smile lighting me up like the first rays of sunshine after a dark night. “You’re blind.”
“I’m observant ,” I corrected him and continued, not giving him the chance to argue. “Ready for me to love on you all night long, baby boy?”
“Fuck, Sutton,” he hissed, shifting on his stool. “Yes—a million times yes .”
I stood, discretely adjusting my stiffening cock while pulling him to his feet and lacing my fingers through his, uncaring what others would think. I would finally have what I wanted, and Jimmy’s happiness meant more to me than any supposed reputation I held.
“Took you two long enough!” Babs hollered, and more than one of the other patrons let out a whoop as we headed for the door hand in hand.
I guessed people had already been talking.
Heat rushed to my face, and I shook my head, exiting the bar without a backward glance. Let the gossips have their fun.
I was going to have mine with the man bumping against my side as we strode toward my Bronco.
“Mind leaving your car here until tomorrow?” I asked.
“Nope. It can stay until next week for all I care.”
“I like the sound of that,” I said, squeezing his slender fingers.
“Yeah?”
“ Hell yeah.” I tucked Jimmy into my passenger seat like he was a kid, and he didn’t argue, letting me care for him like the sweet boy he was. I climbed into the driver’s seat. “Do we need to stop at The Market for condoms?”
While we had to talk, no fucking way would this night end without me being balls deep in this man, hopefully experiencing the connection we both longed for.
Jimmy turned to face me in the dark, gaze searching in the light afforded us by Frenchie’s sign atop the entrance. “My bloodwork before leaving Boston came back clear, and I’m on PrEP.”
I nodded and started the engine, turning us toward home. “Haven’t been with anyone since my ex.”
“You’ve never…”
“No.” I answered the pitiful truth of my sex life for the past decade. “I’ve done a little…research, but will you teach me how to please you if I don’t get it right the first time?”
“God, yes,” he whispered, breathless while fidgeting in his seat.
“Are you wearing lace panties again?” I asked, remembering how gorgeous he’d been in them when he’d been in my bed what felt like ages ago rather than days.
“Yeah—and they’re already wet for you.”
“Jesus, Jimmy.” I gulped, shaking my head in attempts to clear it so I could focus on getting us back to my place in one piece.
My foot wanted to press harder on the gas pedal while pulling out of the parking lot, but I refrained for two reasons. One, as Chief, I had to obey the in-town speed limit law. Two, because we needed to clear the fucking air before I laid my hands on this boy.
“I believe it’s safe to say we both made a few assumptions about each other,” I said.
Jimmy angled to face me, his gaze warming me clear through to my toes. “I have a lot of shit in my past that tends to control my head—and body’s—reactions.”
I nodded, having seen evidence of both. “Understandable, Jimmy. You’ve been through the wringer and have gained maturity you lacked as a teen.
The selfishness that used to rule you no longer does.
I see evidence of your growth in how you care for Mary.
Make yourself available for DJ—you’re a good man, Jimmy, and no whispers from before should have the power to tell you otherwise. ”
He exhaled heavily. “Next you’ll suggest I go to therapy,” he mumbled.
“Nothing wrong with getting help,” I argued kindly. “Jamie has. Chaz and his own father have.”
“Don’t want to relive that shit.” Jimmy stated exactly what I’d expected. “Been trying to escape it my whole goddamned life.”
I reached out, beckoning with my fingers.
Jimmy slid his palm against mine, sending a jolt of desire up my arm, and I laced my fingers through his. “I’m sorry for thinking I knew your mind. For making assumptions about your intentions.”
“Same,” he whispered, and I tightened my grip. “And I’m sorry for being so…extra. Too much.”
“Don’t apologize for those parts of you,” I stated firmly while turning onto my street. “You’re a perfect fit. I want to give you all the attention and love you need.”
“Love, huh?” His tone held a teasing lilt again, but I recognized the defensiveness now, the attempt to protect his heart.
“Well on the way, yeah.” I glanced over to find his baby blues wide and vulnerable. “We’ve both have walls up, but in order for this to work, we need to be completely honest from here on out. Open our mouths if shit from the past starts to muddle either of our thoughts toward each other.”
“I’d like that,” he agreed with his soft voice I wanted to hear whispering against my ear every morning and night.
God help my soul, I was gone for this man.