15 - Jazz
15
Jazz
I was a completely different person since buying this house.
In a good way.
I wasn’t a prude or anything before. I loved sex. But I was as self-conscious as most millennials, and it was difficult to put myself out there—both sexually and otherwise. I never would have initiated a friends-with-benefits situation with my neighbor, let alone go down on him while we were playing a freaking board game.
But something about Aiden made me want to be adventurous. Maybe it was how casual our situation was. With the pressure of a relationship gone, I could be a little more gutsy without worrying about the consequences. I didn’t have to think about compatibility or long-term values or all the other details that came from a serious relationship.
And in bed, I could ask for what I wanted without over-analyzing if I was being too demanding, which was so much more freeing than I ever expected.
Aiden wasn’t the only good thing about moving in, either. I had never really had any male friends before, but now I was hanging out with both Aiden and Bash several times a week. It was rewarding in a different way than having female friends. Guys were simple. We hung out, ate dinner, and shot the shit. It was all so easy in a way that female friendships had never been.
All that mattered was game night, and Sunday dinner, and then the mindless drive of our sweaty bodies.
I wondered how long it would last. But for now, it was perfect.
Until Aiden dropped a bomb on me while I was eating lunch on Monday.
Aiden : Hey, there’s something I need to tell you.
Me : Shit. You have a secret family in Baltimore, don’t you?
Aiden : No, but unfortunately this isn’t a joke. I’ve been avoiding telling you.
Me : Uh oh. You’re telling me by text, which feels like a bad sign.
Aiden : I meant to tell you last night but we were having too much fun.
Me : This isn’t funny anymore. Spit it out before my imagination starts thinking up worst-case scenarios.
Aiden : Tomorrow, I’m going out of town for work. I’ll be gone two weeks, then back here for a week, then I’m traveling again after that.
My immediate reaction was annoyance. Why had he waited until now to tell me? He must have known about this trip before yesterday.
But I reminded myself that we weren’t in a relationship. This was casual. He wasn’t obligated to give me his entire schedule.
Me : I’m glad it’s not a secret family.
Aiden : Oh, I do have two secret families. But they’re in Dallas and Seattle. It doesn’t count if they’re in different timezones.
Me : Oh, good.
Me : That sucks. I was looking forward to foot-fucking you under the table tomorrow night. What am I supposed to do for the next two weeks while you’re gone?
Aiden : You should probably brush up on your J-words. You missed a few big ones last night.
Me : I don’t think you get to critique my game since you’re the one who lost.
Aiden : I only lost because someone was rushing me in the final round. You don’t play fair.
Me : I didn’t see you complaining about it last night ;-)
Aiden : I enjoyed it very much, actually :-)
Me : Thanks for letting me know. I’ll miss you.
I hit send, then immediately regretted my final text. I’ll miss you was the kind of thing people texted when they were in a relationship. We were supposed to play it cool.
But he replied back a few seconds later:
Aiden : Same, but it’ll go by fast :-) We can download the iPhone app and play over the internet if you want.
Me : And give you a chance to cheat? No way. I’m keeping my win streak until you get back.
Aiden : I’ve never cheated at Scrabble in my life.
Aiden : Wait. I take it back. I cheated one time to beat my friend, but only because I knew he was cheating.
Me : So you admit it. Good. I’m screenshotting this to use against you at an unknown future date.
Aiden : Lesson learned: don’t open up to Jasper Barnes.
Me : Using my ACTUAL name? Ouch. I’m going to remember this, Aiden Samantha Rush.
Aiden : My middle name is James.
Me : Too late, I’ve already changed your contact info. It’s permanent now.
Aiden : Damn. I liked my middle name, too.
Me : Also, I put “fuckboy” as your occupation.
Aiden : I’m good enough in bed that I could do it for a living? That’s a compliment, baby.
The playful banter was nice, but my smile soon faded. My fuckboy was leaving for two weeks. Obviously that wasn’t very long, but it felt like an eternity since I was expecting to play Scrabble with him—among other things— tomorrow .
I was in a funk for the rest of the day, and slept poorly that night. It shouldn’t have bothered me this much, but it kind of felt like a breakup. Which was stupid, but it’s not like I could control how my dumb brain felt.
I was eating breakfast the next morning when I heard their car. I was usually already on my way to work by the time they left, so I went to the window and peeked out the blinds. Aiden was loading a small suitcase into the back of the car. Bash was probably taking him to the airport.
“Her name is Vanessa,” Cat told me over Thai food that night. “We’ve only gone on two dates, but I really like her. She has this aloof punk vibe, like Gwen Stefani. A young Gwen Stefani, before she started hosting stupid singing shows.”
“Is she good in bed?” I asked.
Cat leaned forward and gave me a look. “I don’t even know, Jazzy! We haven’t slept together! Vanessa wants to, and I quote, take it slow. She says she rushed into things with her last two partners and doesn’t want to make that mistake again.”
I gawked at her. “You’ve gone on two dates with a woman without fucking her? How will you ever survive?”
She threw her hands up. “I DON’T KNOW!”
“I was joking.”
“I’m not,” she complained. “I don’t like to wait this long. What if I get emotionally attached and it turns out we have no chemistry in bed? Ugh, just take me out back and shoot me.”
“I think you’ll survive,” I reassured her.
“Speaking of bedroom chemistry, why did you invite me over on a Tuesday? Isn’t this when you have nerdy board game sex with your neighbor?”
“We play board games and then have sex. Two completely separate activities.”
Cat cleared her throat. “You told me about your Scrabble blowjob. That is nerdy board game sex.”
“Oh, yeah.” I let out a chuckle. “I guess you’re right. But that’s actually why I invited you over for dinner. To tell you that Aiden is out of town for the next two weeks.”
“Ouch,” Cat said. “You have to go to bed sexually frustrated like the rest of us.”
“I know!” I whined. “Two weeks isn’t very long, but I’ve gotten used to seeing him three times a week.”
“Seeing him? Or fucking him?”
“Yes,” I replied.
Both of us giggled.
“Is that what’s really bothering you?” Cat prodded. “You seem annoyed by the situation, and not just because you can’t buy a vowel on his cock.”
I scowled at Cat. “Was that supposed to be word-game innuendo?”
“I tried. Clearly it didn’t work, so let’s just move on. What’s really bothering you?”
I stirred the remains of my Thai food. “I don’t know. He waited until yesterday to tell me. Less than a day’s notice. It felt so abrupt.”
“Maybe he didn’t know about the trip until the last minute?”
I shook my head. “He said he meant to tell me Sunday, and I have a feeling he knew about it long before that. It just feels like…”
“Like what?”
“I know this is just a fling,” I explained. “He and I both agreed it was casual. We’re on the same page there. But I still felt like he should have told me sooner.”
Cat narrowed her eyes at me. “The way a boyfriend would have?”
Sighing, I said, “Yes.”
“This is why you’ve never had a one-night stand before. You always catch feelings.”
“I’m not catching feelings!”
She started ticking off points on her fingers. “You see this guy three times a week. You aren’t just hooking up—you’re hanging out. Having dinner. Playing games together.”
“So what? We’re friends, too.”
“Those are dates , Jazzy. Dinner, games, and then sex.”
“Bash is there too!”
“Dates with a chaperone. But still extremely date-like behavior.”
“Isn’t that what friends-with-benefits is?” I asked. “We’re hanging out like friends, then having sex.”
“I’ve been frennies with bennies more times than I can count,” she replied, “and it was never like what you two are doing.”
“Just because you haven’t done it this way, doesn’t mean it’s automatically a relationship.”
“Jazz. Come on.”
“We’re not exclusive!” I said, searching for any evidence to defend my argument. “We’re free to hook up with other people. That’s the definition of casual.”
She gave me a skeptical look. “You would hook up with another guy in the next two weeks? You, the most monogamous woman I’ve ever known?”
“You don’t know,” I argued petulantly. “Just because I’ve taken a lover doesn’t mean I won’t consider taking another.”
Her eyebrows climbed up her forehead. “Take a lover? What are you, a Victorian Duchess?”
The doorbell suddenly rang. Cat and I shared a look.
“I’m not expecting anyone,” I said.
When I got up and peered through the peephole, it was a familiar face.
I opened the door and said, “Bash?”