Epilogue
Aiden
I gazed out the window at the endless blue ocean, tipped with whitecaps 30,000 feet below. When was the last time I had flown over water like this? Visiting Portugal when I was a teenager, probably. Flying across the Gulf of Mexico wasn’t a big deal compared to that, but we had been over the water for a little while now. I was anxious to see land again.
“Whatchya thinking about?” Jazz asked me.
I turned to my favorite person in the world and grinned. “I was thinking about how it’s nice to travel for pleasure, rather than for work.”
“Cheers to that,” Bash said on the other side of Jazz. She was in the middle seat, bracketed on either side by one of her boyfriends. A nice metaphor for our relationship.
Dante had drawn the short straw, and was sitting in the seat directly behind us. He was making me pay for it by “accidentally” kicking my seat every few minutes. He had grown possessive over Jazz in the past year, and became grumpy when he felt left out.
But it was possessive in a loving, protective way. Not in a way that put any sort of strain on our four-person relationship.
“What’s so funny?” Jazz asked.
“I was just thinking I like it when you’re in the middle,” I replied, squeezing her thigh.
She narrowed her eyes. “Trying to join the mile high club?”
“As tempting as that sounds, no,” I replied. “It would be embarrassing to get kicked off a flight on the way to my sister’s wedding.”
It still felt strange to say that. My sister’s wedding . I never thought Amy would settle down. She was one of the most fiercely-independent people I knew, never making plans and always preferring to do things alone. The fact that she was getting married made me feel older. Like one phase of our lives had ended and a new one was beginning.
But as I looked over at Jazz? The future wasn’t a terrifying unknown. It was full of hope.
“I’m always down,” Bash told Jazz eagerly. “Just say the word and I’ll meet you in the bathroom.”
My seat rocked from a kick. “Please keep it down,” Dante said from behind. “Some of us are trying to relax.”
“That was Bash,” I complained. “Not me.”
“Your seat is the only one I can kick. Please pass the message down to him.”
The captain announced that we were beginning our descent, and then I saw the long stretch of sandy beach marking the Yucatan Peninsula. We landed, collected our bags, and then took a private car to the resort. As soon as we got out of the vehicle, a white-clad resort employee greeted us with a tray of champagne glasses.
“I like this place already,” Jazz said as the four of us toasted.
“JAZZY WAZZY!” came a screech from inside the resort lobby. In a white summer dress and a matching hat the shape of a giant Pringle chip, Cat came running outside to greet us. “You’re here!”
“I like the sash,” I said, idly fingering the white “brIDE TO BE” sash draped diagonally across her chest. “Is my sister wearing one, too?”
Cat gave me a look. “You think Amy would wear this? In public?”
“Good point.”
“Cool place,” Dante said.
“This place isn’t cool . It’s amazing . The entire staff knows we’re getting married tomorrow. They’ve been treating me like the Queen of Cancun!” She gestured over her shoulder. “See that woman back there? She’s like my private servant. She’s been following me around since I got here. Anything I want, she gets me! Even if I don’t ask!”
The woman in question approached and said, “Another mimosa, Ms. Cat?”
“That would be amazing!” Cat replied. As soon as the woman was gone, Cat pointed and said, “See? She knew I wanted another mimosa before I did! It’s about time someone treated me the way I deserve. All of you should take notice.”
“Can’t wait for you to be my sister,” I said with a shit-eating grin.
She flipped me off, then we both laughed and hugged.
“You can’t be mad at me,” I said. “You owe me.”
“I do?”
“I introduced you to your wife.”
Cat rolled her eyes. “How long are you going to milk that?”
“Probably for the rest of your life,” Jazz chimed in, sliding a hand around my waist. “Or until you get divorced.”
Amy came walking outside then. “I can assure you that will not happen.” She was dressed more subdued than her soon-to-be wife, with baggy linen pants, a bikini top, and a sheer black cover-up.
“No divorce,” Cat agreed, holding Amy’s hand. “We have an agreement. If we ever get to the point of wanting a divorce, one of us will just murder the other one instead.”
“Less paperwork,” Amy smiled.
The two of them smiled at each other and shared a kiss.
Jazz threw herself into their arms and started sniffling. “I can’t believe you’re getting married, Cat!”
“Are you crying?”
“I’m just so happy!” Jazz replied, wiping her eyes.
“You have to keep it together tomorrow! You have a speech to give!”
Jazz nodded through watery eyes. “That’s why I’m getting it out of my system now! By tomorrow, I’ll be all cried out!”
“Doubt it,” Dante muttered.
Amy pointed at him and nodded in agreement. Bash clapped Dante on the back and said, “Let’s go find the bar. We all have celebrating to do.”
The next hour was relaxing—we checked in, got a tour of the resort, and then were taken to our room. The bellhop raised an eyebrow at the fact that four of us were sharing one room, but was wise enough not to say anything.
After that, the relaxation immediately ended. My mom arrived, which cranked up the stress a few dozen notches. I had an excuse to get away from her, though: I was baking the cake for the wedding. I expected the resort cooks to be unhappy about having a guest in their kitchen, but the three women working there thought it was adorable that I was baking the cake for my sister’s wedding. With their help, I had it all finished and ready for tomorrow’s event. They even hugged me before I left.
Once the cake was done, there was a rush of preparation for the rehearsal, then the rehearsal itself, and finally the rehearsal dinner at an open-air restaurant that overlooked the beach.
Selfishly, I was frustrated with my mom. She was perfectly supportive of Amy and Cat’s lesbian wedding, which was a wonderful relief, but her comments from last Thanksgiving still echoed in my mind. Making fun of throuples and insisting that men didn’t know how to share.
“Just pick somebody!” she had said. “ I don’t understand why everyone has to be so different nowadays.”
I’d had several opportunities to tell her about the true relationship I had with Jazz and my two best friends, but I balked every time. I knew how she was going to respond, and that wasn’t a battle I wanted to fight.
But this trip wasn’t about us. It was about my sister and Cat.
Fortunately, being Amy’s Best Man meant I had plenty of tasks to keep my mind off my mom. Before we knew it, we were all lining up in front of an altar on the beach. I smiled at my sister, resplendent in her own white dress. And beyond her, on the other side of the altar, was the woman I loved. Jazz was Cat’s Maid of Honor, and in my totally unbiased opinion she was stealing the show in her gold dress.
She met my gaze and gave me a little wink. My heart soared, the same way it always did when we shared a private smile.
God, I loved this woman.
The music shifted, and then Cat came down the aisle escorted by her father. Tears streamed down her face, and when I looked at my sister I was shocked to see she was bawling. Two of the most unflappable women I knew were unable to contain their emotions.
I wiped a tear away from my own eye. This was really happening.
“I grew up wondering if I would ever find a partner,” Cat said during their vows. “And I worried that even if I found a partner, we might not be accepted for who we are. Now I’m standing on this beach wondering why I ever worried. I found my partner, and we’re surrounded by people who not only accept us, but love us deeply.”
I shared another smile with Jazz. She was keeping it together pretty well.
One of the guests loudly blew their nose. I turned to see who it was, and was shocked to discover it was Dante. He was in the second row, his eyes bloodshot and his cheeks covered with tears. Bash put an arm around him and gave him a comforting side hug.
Weddings were pretty special.
It was windy out on the beach, so the reception was held inside the resort’s massive activity room. While Amy and Cat shared their first dance, I got up and went to the bar to get drinks for me and Jazz.
“It’s so beautiful,” my mom said, joining me. “I’ll be honest: it’s not what I imagined for Amy. I always pictured her marrying an athlete. A football player.”
“Really? That’s who you thought Amy would marry? She hates sports.”
Mom waved a hand. “The point I’m trying to make is that this wasn’t how I imagined it… but that’s fine. Amy is happy, so happy, and that’s all that matters.”
The bartender finished my drinks, but I let them sit on the bar for a moment. I didn’t want to cause any distractions at the wedding, but there was something about the moment that felt right. And if I didn’t tell her now, I never would.
“Mom,” I said, “I have to tell you something.”
She frowned up at me. Now or never .
“Jazz isn’t just my girlfriend. She’s also Dante’s and Bash’s girlfriend. We’re in a polyamorous relationship with her. It’s been going on for over a year. I know it may sound crazy, but we all love her equally. And she loves us.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “We’re happy , Mom. I think we want to spend the rest of our lives like this, the four of us.”
Her reaction was immediate. And it wasn’t what I expected at all.
“Oh thank God ,” she said.
“Uh, what?”
She gestured with her wine glass. “After the ceremony, I saw her comforting that blubbering mess of a man. Dante. She was just hugging him at first, but then… then they kissed . I thought she was cheating on you! I’ve spent the first hour of the reception wondering whether to tell you tonight, or let it wait until tomorrow.”
She laughed to herself, but didn’t say anything more.
“So…” I said.
“They really are a beautiful couple,” Mom said, watching Amy and Cat dance.
“So does that mean you approve?” I forced out. “Of my relationship?”
She gave me a patient sigh. “It’s not my place to approve . My children are going to do what they want, regardless of my approval. My job is to love you unconditionally. Which I do.”
Her answer was only half relieving. “That’s nice to hear, but I still want to know if you are secretly judging us. You can give me your honest opinion, Mom.”
“Are you happy?” she asked me.
“Very happy.”
“And Jazz?” she probed. “And Bash and Dante, too?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It’s crazy, but they are.”
She spread her arms wide. “Then of course I approve. Why wouldn’t I?”
Feeling tears welling in my eyes, I hugged my mom. “I’ve been so afraid of telling you.”
“Why?” she demanded. “I’m an accepting person. You act like I’m judgmental.”
“You are,” I replied, “the most judgmental woman I know. No offense.”
“I get judgy over things that don’t matter,” she said dismissively. “Dress color. Hair style. Your late father’s taste in cars. But for something important? Something like love?” She wiped away a tear from my cheek. “I’m your mother. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”
I was beaming, now. “Jazz is going to be so happy to hear.”
“If you can pry her away from her other two boyfriends,” Mom muttered.
“Mom!”
“What? I promised not to be judgy, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tease you about it a little.” She pointed. “Speaking of Jazz, it looks like she’s up.”
The first dance had ended and the DJ was taking the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the speeches! The Maid of Honor will be speaking first. Please give it up for Jazz Barnes!”
There was a scattering of applause, and then Jazz took the microphone. God, she looked incredible in that dress—tight in the bodice, hugging her hips. Accentuating all the best parts of her. Bash and Dante were standing over on the right side of the room, so I weaved my way toward them.
“She looks good up there,” Bash said. “But I think she’s nervous.”
“She’s fine,” Dante insisted, but his arms were crossed and he was watching her intently.
“She seemed nervous before going up there,” Bash said.
Dante elbowed him in the ribs. “I said she’s fine.”
“She’s fine,” I echoed, but I was extremely nervous about my own speech.
“Like he said, my name is Jazz, and I’ve known Cat for a long time. A long time,” she chuckled. “Probably too long. And out of everyone I know, Cat was the last person I expected to settle down.”
Some of the guests laughed and muttered amongst themselves.
“Apparently I’m not the only one who thought that,” Jazz said. “You see, Cat is one of the most carefree people I know. And I mean that in the best possible way. She’s quick to love, and quick to forget grievances. When bad things happen, she’s angry for a day—and then moves on. She is fiercely independent, and resists letting people change her.
“But the moment she met Amy at Thanksgiving last year, she did change. I saw it that night, and in the weeks and months to come. Now, change can sometimes be bad. We’ve all known people who start dating someone and then become a totally different person, often times for the worse. But that’s not the kind of change I’m talking about. Cat changed… for the better.”
She said that last part in a spooky voice, and the crowd chuckled again.
“I did not!” Cat shouted, which made everyone laugh even harder.
“Trust me: you did,” Jazz yelled back at her while trying not to laugh. “Amy, get your wife to settle down.”
Amy put an arm around her, and Cat snuggled up against her.
“As I was saying before being rudely interrupted by the peanut gallery,” Jazz continued, “Cat changed for the better. She slowly became the best version of herself. Cat, you’re my best friend. I love you with all of my heart. And somehow you became more like you when you started dating Amy.”
Jazz turned to address the crowd. “And that’s what I think a relationship should be, at its core. Two people who make each other better than they were before.”
Her gaze touched mine, then Dante and Bash, and I could hear the version she was trying to tell us: or more than two people .
Bash put his arm around me, and around Dante on the other side. “We’re lucky,” he whispered.
“We are,” I agreed. “Hey, when is Dante going to become a better version of himself?”
Dante leaned around Bash and showed me his middle finger.
“And based on what I’ve seen from them so far?” Jazz concluded. “These two are going to keep making each other better for the rest of their lives.”
Jazz handed the microphone to the DJ, then found me with her eyes again. She smiled at me, and I smiled back.
For the rest of our lives .
That sounded nice.
But her smile faded, and she waved at me to join her.
“Don’t you have a speech to give?” Dante said dryly.
“Shit!”
My speech was boring by comparison, but everyone still applauded at the end. I considered that a win.
And then everyone was on the dance floor. We were properly lubricated with alcohol by now, so we weren’t afraid to let loose a little—even if we looked silly. Even Dante shuffled his feet a little bit with the rest of us.
Cat wasn’t drunk, but she was well lubricated, and loved being the center of attention on her special day. She wrapped an arm around Amy and grinded with her for a while, then began twerking up against anyone and everyone. Even my Mom wasn’t immune; Cat backed her up against a wall and twerked while everyone cheered loudly.
“This is the best version of her?” Mom asked while laughing.
“She still has some work to do!” Amy agreed.
Jazz took turns dancing with each of us. Dante got her for a slow song, but Bash and I had faster songs with more dancing and grinding.
Eventually Cat danced her way over to us and said, “You’re welcome!”
“What do you mean?” Jazz asked.
“I gave you cover to dance with all three of your fuckboys,” Cat replied. “That’s why I was dancing up on everyone!”
“Is it really?” Amy asked with a wry grin.
“Okay, it’s one of the reasons,” Cat admitted. “But you can let loose! Nobody cares!”
We did let loose, the four of us sort of dancing together in a triangle, with Jazz bouncing around in the middle. And for a while, we stopped being self-conscious about what people thought, or if they would even notice.
But then my Mom danced her way over and loudly announced, “The four of you make a cute couple. Or whatever this is!” She gestured at our group, then danced away.
Jazz’s eyes were the size of the disco ball above us. “Oh my God! I knew we shouldn’t have been so obvious, just because Cat was doing it…”
“Jazz,” I said, reassuringly. “She knows.”
Somehow, her eyes widened even more. “WHAT?”
“Who knows what?” Bash asked.
“Mom knows about us,” I said. “I told her earlier. It came up organically.”
Jazz gawked at me. “And?”
“And she approves,” I replied. “She was actually relieved by the news. Apparently she saw you and Dante kissing after the ceremony, and assumed you were cheating on me.”
Dante closed his eyes and chuckled. “I told you someone would notice.”
“You were crying. I was comforting you,” Jazz said defensively.
I took her by the arms. “It doesn’t matter. She knows. And she approves, as long as we’re all happy.”
“I can say, definitively, that I am happy,” Bash declared.
“That probably has to do with the seven glasses of champagne you’ve had,” Dante said.
Bash grinned. “Probably!”
Jazz was still focused on me. “You’re not pulling my leg? She approves?”
I grinned. “She approves.”
She hugged me, and I could feel the relief in her embrace. It was how I’d felt for the last hour. Like our relationship wasn’t something that needed to be hidden, or whispered about when nobody was watching.
We were accepted.
The music trailed off, and it was time to cut the cake. Cat and Amy both tried to smash their pieces into the other’s face, which resulted in a mini food fight, followed by them both accepting—and actually eating —plates of cake.
“My brother-in-law made the cake!” Cat announced for the room. “So if you don’t like it, he’s the one to blame!”
When the guests were served, I waited to see what everyone else thought about the cake. There was one woman whose opinion mattered most to me. In fact, it was the most nervous I had been since we had arrived—even more nervous than when I’d told my Mom about our polyamorous relationship.
She was totally unaware of my watchful eyes, which was good. I wanted her honest reaction.
“Oh my God ,” she said, moaning around a piece of the chocolate cake.
“I didn’t think she’d make that noise until later tonight,” Dante said.
Jazz turned to me. “This is incredible!”
“Chocolate cake, with a thin layer of raspberry filling, and a fudge-cream frosting,” I said.
“This is the winner,” she said. “I thought my favorite chocolate dessert was Girl Scout Thin Mints, but this edges it out.”
“You should make this every day,” Bash said. “I hope there’s enough for seconds.”
“Maybe not every day,” Jazz said. “But you absolutely have to make this for me again.”
Smiling smugly, I said, “Oh, I intend to. Maybe on a special day.”
I glanced at Dante. His eyes flared with understanding, and then he smirked at me.
“Like Christmas?” Jazz asked.
“Not special enough,” I said. “Something unique. A once-in-a-lifetime event. Like this.” I gestured with my fork.
Jazz paused with the fork halfway to her mouth. She stared at me for one heartbeat, two, three. I held my breath. Had I overreached?
“I’d like that,” she said, smiling and holding my gaze for a moment longer. “I’d like that a lot.”
Bash gasped. “Wait a minute. Do you mean…”
Dante put an arm around him. “Don’t ruin it.”
Jazz smiled at me, then returned to her cake, chewing with a huge grin on her face the entire time. To the left of her, Dante nodded at me once.
I nodded back.
It wasn’t a proposal. Not really. But it was a promise, one held between the four of us.
We had a future together. One where we would become, with the help of one-another, the best versions of ourselves.
And I couldn’t wait.