14. Artemis
14 ARTEMIS
I sit on the rocky cliffside at Olympus as the sun comes up.
I was home long enough to grab my phone and car keys, slipping in and out before Saint could wake and register that I was back.
I almost expected him to be waiting for me, but he wasn’t.
Not one to let Saint get the first punch in, I left while luck was on my side.
Now I’m here, watching the sky lighten.
At first, I idly scrolled through the texts and missed calls, voicemails from Antonio.
The last one concludes: I checked the security feed and saw you go into your apartment.
Sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow .
It’s tomorrow, and I still don’t feel like talking.
There was even a text from Saint.
He wanted to know if I was alive.
I reply with a skull emoji, then turn off my phone.
“I’m starting to think you don’t sleep.”
I glance over my shoulder.
Jace climbs the hill in my direction.
“Did Apollo send you?” My voice, like my body, is stiff.
He stops beside me, but he doesn’t sit.
“Nah, I was coming to water the flower wall.”
I smile.
That wall in the atrium—the first big room when you walk into Olympus—was built as a declaration of love for Kora.
Olympus needed a bit of an overhaul after the war, taking its own fair share of hits, and that’s what they decided to do to it.
“You okay?” he asks in a low voice.
I laugh. “Me? I’m fine.”
He sighs.
“You?” I crane my head back.
“I mean, your informant is dead. Nailed to my club wall, in fact.”
“Did Apollo tell you who he was?”
I smile, but I don’t confirm.
It’s more impressive to just know things than admit how I found them out.
Telling him I know because I was eavesdropping on his conversation with the sheriff seems…
shitty.
“Saint was worried when you went offline for a day,” he adds.
“Bullshit.”
“He called me.”
“Did you have to talk him out of throwing himself off the roof?”
I scratch at my arm through Kade’s sweatshirt.
My nail gets close to the edge of the bandage protecting my elbow.
My skin always gets irritated by adhesive, and this is no different.
But I can’t take it off and bleed on his sweatshirt, that would just be rude.
“You still think he’s suicidal?” Jace eyes the top of my head.
What a terrible angle.
At least he can’t see up my nostrils.
But then I truly consider it.
He asked me if Saint could move in, but it was never really a choice for Saint.
After what he went through—what we all went through—it seemed natural for Jace to want to help him.
And I was the only one available.
I should’ve said no.
Daniel could’ve roomed with him, but…
Well. Daniel moved away shortly after helping us end the war raging in the streets of Sterling Falls.
He’s a master tech, knows his way around computers—including hacking.
He saved our asses on more than one occasion.
Understandable that he’d want to leave.
If I had a choice…
No.
I’d still be right here.
But has Saint healed any in the year since he lost the love of his life?
I think of his fingers digging into my skin.
The insults he slung at me like mud while he fucked me.
The way he dragged an orgasm from me even though that made me feel dirtier than anything else he could’ve done.
Do I think Saint is moving on?
Thinking more about living than dying?
Absolutely not.
When I don’t answer, Jace sighs.
“I can’t babysit him forever.” I push myself up, dusting off the bits of rock and dirt that stick to my pants.
“It’s not fair to me. Or him.”
He nods, but his expression tells me he doesn’t agree.
I motion for him to go away.
“Water your plant wall and leave me be.”
I came here to be alone.
And yet, no sooner has he returned to Olympus does a motorcycle turn onto the long driveway.
I recognize Saint immediately, and my hackles rise.
By the time he reaches me, I’m ready for a fight.
He’s pissed, too. He takes one look at me, at the sweatshirt that drowns my frame, and he doesn’t just stop at me.
He grabs me. One hand on my throat, the other on my hip, and propels us over the cliff.
I can’t say I’m even surprised.
The freefall isn’t unpleasant.
It’s like my mind detaches and lengthens the time it takes us to hit the water.
I note that I’m still wearing my boots— that’s the worst —and Kade’s sweatshirt.
It won’t smell like him anymore.
But wasn’t it just the other day that I did this with him?
On my birthday. At sunrise.
It feels like an eon ago.
Saint falls faster than me.
He’s heavier by quite a bit, although he doesn’t release me.
I cling to his wrist, clawing my nails into his skin.
I take a breath and keep my eyes on him until the very last second.
We hit the water hard, plunging down, and catch a wave at the wrong time.
It sends us toward the rocks, our bodies twisting.
It’s no match for the speed at which we descend, though.
Neither of us let go.
My feet hit the bottom, and my old habit of lingering almost sticks.
But Saint still has me in his grip, his one hand around my throat—so loose, though, it barely feels like anything other than pure possession—and the other fisted in the fabric at my hip.
He drags me upward.
A wave crests over our heads, and we pop up a second later.
He yanks me into him, until I grasp at his shoulders.
We both kick to keep ourselves afloat.
My knee grazes his groin, and his eyes narrow.
“You aren’t allowed to disappear on me,” he says harshly.
“Careful, Saint, or else I might start to think you care.”
He shakes his head, and his fingers tighten on my throat.
Maybe he’s considering throttling me.
His white t-shirt is soaked, plastered to his skin and nearly translucent.
The branded hourglass in the center of his chest is still a little raised, and I put my palm against it.
“I’m fine,” I tell him.
His heart beats wildly under my hand.
His fingers twitch.
Another wave rolls over us, and it’s easier to go under than get caught on top of it.
When we break the surface again, I push my soaked hair out of my face.
Wipe my eyes. My makeup is smeared, I’m sure of it.
What gives him the right to possess me?
I kick harder, drifting closer, and his gaze flicks to my lips.
Not that he would ever kiss me in a million years.
Saint Hart?
More like Saint Heartless.
“Stop,” I whisper. “Just… stop .”
“I’m not doing anything.”
I scoff.
“Okay. Then why do you care?”
He pulls at the sweatshirt, his fist still tangled in it.
Why?
Why is he still holding on to me?
The movement sloshes the water between us, splashing it up into my face.
His face.
“I don’t.” His voice is rough.
He’s lying .
The relief that loosens my chest surprises me.
I cannot—no, I will not—face the truth.
Not this morning, not from him.
“Then let go of me.” Another challenge.
My brow lowering, my glare not subtle.
He does, and I push away from him hard.
I kick for the ladder, ignoring my pounding pulse.
Unlike when Kade and I climbed it, Saint gives me space.
He waits until I’m a few rungs above him to start.
My muscles ache when I’m halfway up.
The sweatshirt weighs a million pounds, and water pours off me.
I hope it hits Saint in the face.
As usual, when I get to the top, I flop onto my side, then roll onto my back.
Saint climbs up a second later, pausing with his knees digging into the rocks like he’s paying a penance to some demon.
Or Nyx.
The thought twists my gut, and I force myself to my feet.
I came here for peace, not to be shoved off the cliff.
And sure enough, Jace is waiting for us at Olympus with a scowl fixed firmly in place.
“Jace,” Saint greets him.
His tone and expression are both far away.
“Didn’t see you.”
Jace grunts.
His blue eyes flick to mine, and there’s a softness there that usually is reserved for his family.
Which, recently, hasn’t really included me.
Look—don’t get me wrong.
I love him as much as I love Apollo and Wolfe.
They’re all my brothers, in a way, but they’ve all been caught in the throes of love .
I respect that enough to take a step back, even if I don’t understand it completely.
Doesn’t mean they don’t care, it just means they’re preoccupied.
And maybe that’s how the Cyclopes slipped into Sterling Falls.
I bite my lip against that accusation.
It’s a guess anyway.
It makes me think he’s suddenly reevaluating my relationship with Saint.
He can’t know about the hate-fuck.
If Saint said anything, he would’ve been in worse-off shape than Kade left him, and that would’ve just been from my brother.
Never mind what Jace and Wolfe would do.
I glance at Saint, who still isn’t fucking tuning in.
And just as Jace opens his mouth to decree his judgment, his phone rings.
He takes one look at the screen and swipes to answer it.
Already turning away, already dismissing us without follow-through.
I roll my eyes and head to my car.
There’s a towel in the trunk, and I shed the sopping-wet sweatshirt along with my shirt, wringing both out the best I can.
I put the shirt back on, then slip off the bra and toss it into the trunk.
I use the towel to blot the water from my hair, then wrap it around my waist.
My leather pants are shucked next, along with my boots and socks.
Saint leans against the bumper of my car.
Watching.
Judging.
“What?” I finally snap.
He lifts one shoulder.
“Your secret boyfriend is safe with me.”
There’s an unspoken part of that sentence: for now.
As in, as long as I keep his secret, he’ll keep mine.
I don’t have a secret boyfriend, but I have secrets that I seem to be collecting.
I already told Jace that Saint wasn’t self-destructing.
Who fucking knows, though, right?
“Don’t push me off a fucking cliff,” I retort.
“I won’t if you answer your damn phone.”
“It was in the condo,” I hiss.
“I know. I found it when I thought you had been kidnapped or something.”
My heart picks up speed.
It’s that weird feeling again, the creeping dread.
My heart is trying to outrun it.
It hits a little too close to home…
But Saint doesn’t know that.
No one knows that.
Forcing a bravado, I ask, “Do you know how ridiculous you sound?”
He eyes me, then snorts.
“Whatever.”
“Bye, Saint.” I slam the trunk and drop into the driver’s seat, hitting the lock button before he can try to get in and pester me more.
He pushes away from the hood, still staring.
Even as I drive away.
Staring and staring and staring.