Chapter 40 – Zanae
40
ZANAE
S tress and excitement grew within me, especially now that we’re sure Lukas and the other woman are connected. The photo might be old, but it means their relationship is just as ancient.
I didn’t close my eyes all night, and Elijah might have sensed it since he stayed with me for two hours, watching the stars while holding me in his arms. I had the time to finish my book too, and he was the one reading it aloud to me.
I’m stressed, overwhelmed, and so freaking anxious.
If I mess up my part, I mess up the entire mission.
And I need to know, I need to find out more about them.
Dressed in an all-black tactical suit, I checked my weapons carefully—a blade and a gun—along with my ammunition.
Everything seems good.
I’m ready.
I’m absolutely ready. It’s time.
I have to be the best and I can’t let them down.
Being a woman in this world felt like a battle of its own. I couldn’t ignore the constant thought I’ve had my whole life: I had to fight for every ounce of respect I earned. I understood very early on that no matter how brilliant, strong, or confident a woman is, she will never feel equally respected as a man.
I spent my entire life helping my father, negotiating with the worst of humanity; murderers, kidnappers, sadists, and I did it without flinching because I knew they weren’t afraid of me at first. But they soon realized I was dangerous; I was my father’s right hand, providing him with information on everyone to build his empire. I ended wars by uncovering traitors, facilitated relationships with the police, and assisted him in every way. But he never said thank you or acknowledged the sacrifices I made for his empire.
I gave up my dignity, my self-love, and for what?
Only to be threatened by him?
I never felt that way with Niko, Ben, or Elijah.
With them, I feel powerful; more than ever, more than I ever thought possible. And thank God I’m with them today, proving them and myself that I can. That I’m strong and capable of succeeding.
Green eyes found me again.
Knowing he was always looking after me was enough to make me believe I could fly.
“I’m scared of you and intrigued at the same time, Z; you look like you’ve done this all your life.”
I tightened my belt after putting the gun in its holster and smiled at Niko, “Maybe, I have done this all my life?”
“Be careful though, no risks. This isn’t like the other mission we did before, Little Z. Lukas is not a sweet man.”
Elijah came closer to me and took my long braid in his hand, pulling me closer to him. “And I’m not the sweetest either, so we’re good.”
I adjusted my braid and glanced one last time outside as Elijah approached me, his eyes searching mine for reassurance. “ Milaya , remember the training, ok? I’ve got your back, always.”
I nodded and smiled at him, feeling a depth of affection I hadn’t known before. “I know you will. I trust you with my life, pretty boy,” I answered, kissing his jaw.
Meanwhile, Brian, stationed in the van between the location and the penthouse, connected with me through the earpiece. Ben was in a house close enough to be ready if something happened but far enough to avoid detection.
Brian’s voice came through the earpiece, “Trust your instincts, and we’ll have the upper hand.”
“Okay.”
My mind raced with the mission, but I still felt the echoes of my past trying to break free and sabotage everything. I couldn’t let them, not today, not when so much was at stake.
A sense of foreboding washed over me, whether from anxiety or instinct, I couldn’t tell. But it pulsed through every fiber of my being.
Niko cracked his neck and said, “Let’s have fun, baby.”
We gathered and left the penthouse.
The journey to the complex was so tense.
Elijah drove, occasionally stealing worried glances at me, while Niko focused on the road ahead. After an hour, we arrived at the location. Nightfall enveloped us, with only the road lights visible.
Outside the complex, I took a moment to compose myself before attempting to enter through the small canalization.
Breathe Z, breathe.
Elijah approached, his eyes filled with protectiveness and concern. “I’ll be here if anything happens.”
Without a word, he pulled me into a fierce, passionate kiss.
“Stop eating her mouth; she needs air in there.”
Elijah shot Niko a cold glare but then turned back to me. “Come back to me in one piece, alright?”
Nikolai hugged me too, “You better not get hurt in there. I won’t forgive myself if something happens to you.”
Elijah nudged Nikolai, “She’s good. Get away from her now, Niko.”
I tried to reassure them, even if I wasn’t sure myself of what I was doing. “I’ll be fine. Brian’s guiding me, and I’ll be in and out before you know it.”
With a determined nod and a smile, I disappeared into the canalization, hoping everything would go smoothly.
You can do it, Zee. Of course, you can.
Don’t listen to the voice inside your head; listen to what Elijah and Niko told you.
Brian’s voice echoed in my ear, “Let’s the party begin.”
Was it hard? Yes, but I maneuvered through the small passageways, even though my body wanted to give up from the constriction. Brian guided me through the labyrinth, and my movements were swift and calculated, just like the boys taught me.
“You’re almost there, Zanae. Just a few more steps.”
“I think I’m going to throw up; the scent in here is awful.”
Her laughter resonated through my earpiece. “I know. Be strong, tell yourself that you’re almost there.”
“Fuck, it stinks so much.” I emerged from the canalization hole after deactivating the first alarm.
And then I heard it, someone was coming.
Tap, tap, tap.
The sounds of steps became more audible.
Fuck, a guard approached from behind.
I stayed silent, trusting, for once, my instincts.
You can do this, Zanae, you can do this. Focus on this damn system.
Just as the guard closed in, I received the signal to disable the alarms. “Now, Zanae, deactivate them all!”
My hands have never been so steady in my life. Usually, the trembling is constant, except when I shoot. In a few seconds, I accessed the control panel and stopped the alarms by cutting a wire. “Done.”
That’s it, perfect.
But the guard came closer, I could hear the faintest sound his boots made.
“There’s someone behind you, Zanae,” Brian whispered.
I turned abruptly and faced him as his eyes widened at the sight of me here. And without delay, I land a blow to his jaw so hard that he falls to the ground, unconscious immediately after.
Brian, relieved, couldn’t help but laugh, “Fuck, Zanae, I heard a punch; I thought he got you. You did so well.”
“I’m good, I heard him; he’s going to wake up with a big headache.”
She chuckled, while I just went to open the gates.
It was time to let the guys in.
The group made their entrance, the team led by Elijah and Nikolai looking lethal. Lévi, my assigned bodyguard every time I went out, and another one in the back, a Zennite that I never saw followed closely behind. When I met the familiar eyes of Elijah, relief and satisfaction passed between us.
“I did it,” I murmured, and he mouthed, “You did it, Zanae.”
He couldn’t resist the impulse to hold me close, a fleeting tender kiss, that’s all I needed to feel proud of the work I accomplished. “I’m proud of you,” he whispered against my ear.
“Good job, Little Z. You never fail to impress my little fragile heart.”
I looked up at Niko and smiled when I caught him making a heart with his hands.
Elijah positioned me behind him as we advanced through the long corridor. His movements were destructive, exceedingly dangerous, ending any kind of life that came closer to us, shot after shot, 0 sound.
He never missed, always aiming for the head.
This man was literally the wolf in the sheepfold.
Niko advanced with the same efficiency; it seemed like they had been doing this all their lives. They were silent, each bullet shot was deadly, their eyes cold.
It was insane.
I understood why people were so scared of them, and even those who only knew them by name were still afraid. Lévi and the other one shielded us on both flanks. I was scared to breathe too loudly at this point. I had never seen them in this state on a real mission before.
We progressed deeper into the complex, but every time we took a turn, we were met by guards posted strategically at each corner.
Elijah didn’t seem phased; he positioned himself between me and any potential threats.
Guard after guard crossed our path, and I had to act.
I took down 2 or 3, Yet he never faltered in protecting me.
“Stay close, Milaya ,” he urged.
At the same time a guard lunged toward me from behind, but Elijah quickly intercepted him, delivering a gunshot that killed the man so quickly I didn’t even see it coming.
I would’ve taken a bullet if Elijah hadn’t been so vigilant with me.
He saved me again.
Nikolai was having the time of his life; he grinned and turned toward Elijah. “Eli, let’s see who can tally up more tonight. What do you say?”
Elijah responded with a wry smile, “If you think you can keep up, Niko.”
Surrounded by the chaos of gunfire and the mountain of bodies that fell after each gunshot, I noticed a shadow darting upstairs. I tried to alert Elijah, but the cacophony around us completely drowned out my voice.
Fuck!
Turning to Brian through the earpiece, I tried to inform her about my intention, “Bri, someone is hiding upstairs! I’m going to follow the shadow!”
I couldn’t let this go; someone was hiding, and I had to see.
“Zanae, I’m not sure about this! Stay with the boys.”
But I proceeded, nonetheless.
I couldn’t let this person escape; I was too curious.
I climbed the stairs carefully, each step echoing in the empty hall. It was gloomy, with only the sound of the war raging below. No light, but I kept my weapon raised and ready to fire. I could feel and hear my own pulses quicken with each step, my body sensing that danger awaited me in the most ominous way at the end of this hallway.
At the end of it, an office.
I pushed the door open, and I was greeted by the face of a man with a drastically different appearance—Naevio’s father.
He wasn’t the same as in the old photo I had seen of him. I knew that man but didn’t realize he was the one we were hunting.
The man, now bald with tattoos adorning his shaven head and face, teased me with a sinister glee.
My breath caught in my throat recognizing the man who had taken something from me that I would never find again in this lifetime.
My monster. My demon. My punisher.
This was the man who had destroyed me years ago.
He was there, and he recognized me.
I couldn’t feel my heart beating again.
The broken pieces cut through my skin. I bled from the inside, a torrent of crimson poison running through every corner of my being, paralyzing my every move, my every breath. It filled my lungs with haunting memories.
I became that Zanae again.
Broken, shattered, destroyed .
Crack
Crack
My gun raised, Lukas sat behind the desk, the same sinister smile playing on his lips. The room seemed to close in around me as he welcomed me with a familiar tone—the same one I heard when I looked at myself in the mirror, the one that echoed how worthless I was and how nobody cared about my suffering.
“Ah, Zanae, my little beauty. I’ve been expecting you. It’s been too long.”
My grip tightened on my gun, with shaky hands, memories of the past flooding back. His evil gaze swept over me, fear and trauma started to take hold of me.
He was the same—the same blue eyes, the same sinister smirk.
I felt like I was going to throw up.
The monster in my every nightmare was right in front of me.
And I felt like in every sleepy terror, helpless .
“You’ve grown into quite the masterpiece. I must say, I’ve missed you. Do you remember that night? The fear in your pretty eyes was intoxicating.”
And I lost myself in the memories of my own death.
No!
Not Luna!
I scream, I scream so hard that my throat might bleed.
“Luna!!!!! It’s okay I’m here!!”
She can’t hear me because of that stupid door.
I need to open it! My palms hit the door so hard that the small window through which I can see my best friend lying unconscious, shakes.
But she isn’t responding. And a silhouette is so close to her.
What if they hurt her?
“Luna!! WAKE UP!!” I scream and scream, but nothing changes.
Frustration and fear burns under my skin. Another man sits in front of the door, looking at the scene in front of him.
She’s finally awake! I scream again, hoping this time she would see me. And she does.
Our eyes meet, but it’s fear I see in her gaze. And I hate it.
Why is my heart hurting so much?
A man kneels to her level, smiling, before looking at me.
Then he just began touching her.
No no no no!
STOP! I try to scream but it’s just air coming out of me.
Burning air, searing my lungs.
I want to run and shield her from him, but my limbs felt leaden, my eyes blurry with tears, my fists clenched so hard that blood seeped from beneath my nails
My soul screamed to act, to do something, but my body stayed paralyzed.
She’s crying, she’s agonizing. I can’t look at her without doing anything.
I scream again louder than before, “Leave her alone! Luna! Look at me, Luna!”
But she doesn’t move, she just cries, and cries.
Tears cascaded down my cheeks.
He’s touching her, he’s abusing her.
My Luna.
“I’m so sorry, Luna,” I whisper, hitting the door with less strength.
She is frozen, and he’s raping her.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry”
I can’t stop screaming my apologies. And I know she’s hearing everything.
Suddenly, I feel a hand around my throat.
I can’t move.
Someone is with me in the office, and that someone is trying to kill me. No… He’s touching me.
“Don’t move, and stop fucking screaming if you don’t want me to tell my men to kill your little friend over there.”
I don’t dare to breathe, to speak, I just close my eyes.
“How beautiful are you, Angel,” he whispers on my skin.
I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.
His hand follows my curves, and Luna is still crying behind that door.
I don’t know what to do.
I just can’t breathe.
His dirty fingers trace horrible patterns on me, and he just doesn’t want to stop saying how soft my skin is.
Please God, save Luna, save me. Please Save us.
No one came.
I knew it was too late when I felt such hopelessness that praying to God seemed like my only option.
No one will save you.
I hear a zipper and I know I will never survive this.
My brain just shuts down when I feel my jeans being pulled down.
He pushes me against the door and a pain explodes between my thighs.
Everything happened so quickly… I couldn’t stop him… I wanted to push him away… I couldn’t stop this.
A scream escapes my lips, involuntarily.
Tears streamed down my cheeks without ever stopping.
“I told you to fucking stop screaming!”
Stop, Zanae.
His hand covers my mouth forcefully, preventing me from reacting or even breathing correctly, as he continues to abuse me, to dirty my body.
My eyes close, I can no longer see Luna.
I can no longer see the reflection of my own face.
I can no longer see his hand, or his smile, in that small window.
I can’t scream, but it hurts, everywhere, even inside my head.
It hurts so much.
I hear him, but I’m dying, and I can’t say anything.
He finishes, and slaps me, pushes me on the ground as if I was useless now. He took my innocence away, my life away, and I feel empty, I feel dirty.
I can see the blood run on my thighs.
He killed me, even if I’m alive. I’m alone, crying, no screams, abused, bruised, dead.
But now he’s out, and the door is open.
Go save Luna, Zanae. Go!
I use every ounce of life essence in me to get up, put my jeans back on me, even if I can’t walk properly and open the door. I’m almost crawling; the pain between my thighs is excruciating. I feel like I could never walk again.
Luna is lying on the ground.
They’re smoking outside. As if nothing happened.
My best friend is unconscious on the ground, cheeks red, tears still running down her skin. Her blond hair is dirty. She’s hurt too.
Do it quickly Zanae!
I kneel in front of her, and put her head on my lap, stroking her hair even if she isn’t awake.
“I’m sorry.” I repeat, without stopping.
But they heard me, and came back, pushing me away from my best friend’s body.
I don’t even know if she’s alive.
It was like this for two whole days.
I was in that office, sticky, injured, empty.
And the man came back, his eyes still hungry and horrible.
And he did it again and again.
Until I didn’t even cry anymore.
Until I couldn’t scream anymore.
Until the silence became chaos.
Until the voices became louder.
But that second day. I heard gunshots, and saw them.
The masked man saved me.
But it was too late.
I was already dead.
I fought to maintain composure, I fought the voices, the tears, the screams, I fought it all.
“You sick bastard,” I spat, my voice trembling with so much trauma. “It was you; how didn’t I recognize your ugly face?”
His laughter echoed through my chest, sending chills down on my entire body, and nausea crawling inside my throat.
“Oh, I love this little reunion, Zanae. Still insolent, I love it. Plus, it’s a chance to reminisce about old times. Maybe, even make some new memories, I missed you.”
His voice was like a knife twisting in my gut, pushing deeper and deeper into my already bleeding soul.
I clenched my jaw, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing the damage in me. “I’m not here for that. What do you know about the woman behind all this? I know you fucking know her! Who is she?”
Lukas’s smile widened, the twisted delight evident in his gaze, “Ah, the mysterious woman. You’ll find out soon enough, my Little Angel, you can’t escape your past. It always catches up.”
He drew closer, and I stayed there, not moving, even if my spirit was far away from here.
His lips brushed against my ear, and he whispered something obscene, menacing, something that made me go numb, “Are you all aroused for me, or are you still tight Zanae? That little virgin cunt of yours, waiting for me to take it, fucking delicious, and so young.”
I just felt paralyzed, trapped in my own mind.
He told me to be silent when he ripped my heart out and took everything in me, and I feel like I must be silent now too.
That’s why the voices began to scream. I couldn’t, so they did it for me, but never left since then.
You’re stronger now Zanae, don’t let him win.
No, you’re fucking not.
You’re weak, you let your best friend die, and now you’re just being punished.
It’s your fault, it’s your fault, it’s your fault.
I stopped breathing.
Not now, I couldn’t dissociate now.
The thing is, apart from the silence of his office, only his voice remained and the tone of it matched the one inside my head. The one that always screams even if I try to reassure myself.
“You’re still the same, my Little Angel. That fear in your eyes... so delectable.”
I couldn’t move, it was like I was reviving that night.
I was still this helpless girl, and he just abused me, all over again.
His hand touched my jaw slowly. “I never told you this,” he continued, his voice dripping with malice, “but you know your little friend with us that night? She wasn’t here because it was an accident. We knew you loved her, and it was just fair for her to suffer because of you. This was her idea, the woman you’re searching for. You’re a demoniac little angel, a poison.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, and the cold metal of his gun pressed against my back.
Luna was here because I loved her, she was raped and assaulted because she was my best friend, and she ended her life for that too. I couldn’t even think about anything else. My mind was closed, his hands, his breath against my skin, everything felt like I was drowning all over again in this pain.
I was alone with the monster.
Alone with him.
Alone with myself.
My skin burned; the voices screamed so loudly I thought my ears might bleed from the cacophony.
I could feel his hands everywhere, ripping my underwear, the pain etched so deep I couldn’t face my reflection for months.
Because I felt disgusted.
Because he left such destructive scars and bruises on my body that I covered them with new scars of my own. Because he left my blood drying on my thighs for so long that I couldn’t stand to look at myself in the mirror without throwing up for months.
Because he left death on my own skin forever.
He became the architect of my ruin, of my destruction, and there he was again, picking up all the pieces I tried to put back together, just to break them again and again.
Brian’s urgent screams echoed in my earpiece, urging me to act, to break free from Lukas’s suffocating grip, but I couldn’t move.
I wasn’t the one controlling my body; the demons inside were in control. The voices in my head screamed at me as loudly as Brian’s voice, but I didn’t do anything.
I let him touch me again, making me feel weak again, and Elijah wasn’t here to save me from this man.
I was alone with him, and it was all my fault.
His gun is on your fucking back.
You’re stronger than you were before Zanae WAKE UP!
For a moment, time seemed suspended.
I fought with all I had to regain control, my soul wrestling with the trauma that threatened to engulf me.
“My dirty little slut, I knew you would grow up well, so fucking beautiful.”
You see? A dirty little slut.
You’re stronger now Zanae, You’re stronger now...
Finally, the last drop of determination broke through my paralysis. I took a deep breath, and in one swift motion, I twisted away from Lukas, using all the training Eli and Niko taught me, to disarm him and reverse the power dynamic.
Transform all that pain into power Zanae.
And I tried, I took the power back, driving by an infinite amount of agony and ache. The cold metal was now in my shaky hands, and my eyes burned with fury.
The tables had turned, and the hunter had become the hunted.
“You’re not in control here. It’s my turn now.”
Lukas smiled, glancing behind me as if someone were hiding. “Oh, my Little Angel, it’s true I’m not the one in control here, but my dear, it’s not your turn.”
Elijah
Those damn gunshots were so loud around when we entered the area where most guards were on a break.
Fucking red everywhere, blood and corpses lying dead on the ground.
Death and carnage lying beneath my boots.
Niko and I took down anyone in our way just like when we were in Russia, together we’re like the fucking Horsemen of the apocalypse.
Our men provided cover from behind while we took all of them idiots down, but then, when I reached back to ensure Zanae was protected by me, I felt nothing.
She was gone.
She was FUCKING GONE.
I needed to find her now; panic seized my chest so hard; I could’ve died from it.
“ZANAE!”
My voice reverberated through the long corridors as I sprinted back on my steps, Nikolai following closely behind. Every step felt like an eternity, the hallway stretching infinitely before me.
We rushed up the stairs; she can’t be in danger.
Fuck, please don’t be hurt, Milaya.
A gunshot echoed from one of the rooms upstairs.
Nikolai looked at me with the most anxious gaze I’ve ever seen on his face.
I felt it too, fucking urgency and fear. I shot the locker, and the room opened to a disorienting scene.
Zanae lay on the floor, in a pool of blood.
My Zanae, my fucking Zanae, eyes closed on the fucking ground.
Shot.
Someone shot my woman.
Demise and slaughter blurred my vision.
My Zanae was dying.
10.
Amber and Red, Death and Life, Nightmares and Dreams. It all became one, drowning me in an ocean of chaos and madness.
She was dying.
I can’t fucking breathe.
My hands trembled, but I needed to save her.
I quickly cradled her in my arms, noticing the open window nearby and the stained letter clutched in her hand.
There was a message.
She was dying, and someone left a fucking note on her body.
I held her close to my chest, my whole world fitting between my arms. And I’m scared, terrified to lose that feeling.
“We’re going to get her out of here now.”
Nikolai was frozen in shock, witnessing the pool of blood on the ground.
Her blood.
“Snap out of it, Nikolai!” I screamed his name so loud that he snapped out of his stupor immediately and began issuing orders to the others in the house.
I lifted Zanae’s bloodied body from the cold floor.
She was surprisingly light in my arms; her head fell back, and I saw it, her soul was living, she was so pale I could feel her pulse going lower and lower.
“Stay with me, Milaya .”
I carried her outside, detached from everything.
I felt consumed by something I’ve never felt before, I was so scared .
Scared that I failed. Scared that I didn’t give her enough of me. Afraid that I didn’t give her enough of a home
I was scared that the woman I would die for would leave me before I healed her.
I looked down at my heart before me and felt this agony pressing against my mind.
My bloody hands didn’t know what to do but pressed on the wound. “What the hell happened there?” My voice cracked in some kind of prayer disguised as a question, begging for her to hold on to me, to life .
Nikolai could only shake his head, unable to find the words.
We have to save her.
There’s no other possible scenario than that.
“Open your amber eyes, Milaya, let me see how beautiful they are,” I murmured, my voice a low growl, as if my words alone could defy the gruesome reality.
10.
Fuck! Nothing.
I felt my chest drowning in a pain I’ve never felt before.
Every breath sent jolts of agony through me.
My gaze never wavered from Zanae’s face, my fingers gently tracing the contours of her features.
“You have to make it. You hear me? You can’t leave me; I’ll fucking come with you if you go.”
There was no more warmth in her; her flame was dying out, and mine was following because it was hers that allowed mine to be vibrant.
“Open your eyes I beg you, don’t go, I’m not even sure I would see you again if you go. I’m not ready and I’ll never be.”
Her face was relaxed, eyes closed, her skin turning red from my caresses with my bloody hands.
I smiled at this woman who was my entire universe.
You can’t leave, Zanae; I will never fucking let you go.
I stroked her pretty cheeks. “You’ll be alright, Milaya , I promise you.”
I failed.
I fucking failed.
I didn’t protect her; I let her down when she needed my protection.
I’ve never hated myself more than at that moment. I was losing the only love I have ever known. And I didn’t love her enough; I didn’t make her happy enough.
She can’t leave now.
Everything was turning upside down in my head.
“Nikolai, drive faster; she won’t make it if you don’t accelerate. Make us fly if you have to. I DON’T FUCKING CARE!”
He didn’t wait a second and accelerated even faster.
I kissed her forehead, checking for her pulse. It was slow and weak, but still there. “I haven’t loved you enough. Come back to me.”
I can’t even imagine that she won’t make it.
It’s impossible for me to imagine that. If I have to fight death itself to keep her, then I’m going to kill the hell out of death and safeguard my Zanae.
Now that I have tasted her, losing her is inconceivable.
When you see light for the first time in your life, you do everything to never forget that vision; you crave it. You obsess over it.
I can’t lose her. It’s mentally and physically impossible. I can’ t.
We arrived; without wasting a second, I took her in my arms, gently, hugging her as if she would break if I forced her a little more.
Ben opened the door and saw us, Nikolai with red eyes, Zanae in my arms, blood everywhere.
His eyes widened, and without waiting, he let us in.
“Okay, okay.” He showed me a sort of operating table, while putting gloves on, “Lay her there, Elijah.”
I laid her down gently and placed a kiss on her nose. “Show me how strong you are. I’m waiting for you.”
I stepped away, Niko placed his hand on my shoulder, and I turned around to meet his
gaze. Zanae had a place in the heart of every person in this room. And for me, she had my whole heart.
Nikolai spoke with a soft voice, “She will make it; she is far too stubborn to leave us now.”
Ben has mended wounds for the Zennites more times than he can count. He saved me from the worst injuries. I trust him with my life, but it’s way more complicated trusting him with hers. If he can’t save her, lord have fucking mercy on him.
What am I thinking? He’s going to save her, of course he’s going to do it.
Ben’s expression shifted between shock and worry as he examined Zanae’s petite form, then he nodded at me, “She’s going to survive.”
Outside the room, I waited like a lion in a cage, my own heartbeat thundering in my chest, the only other sound the hum of medical equipment inside the room. But then, someone entered the room, no , someone was running to us.
Brian emerged from the doorway, with red eyes and worry all over her face, breathless, and trembling.
She took a deep breath and stopped in front of us. “I monitored everything through the earpiece. The person who shot Zanae, the one who tried to end her life, it’s... it’s her mother.”
A stunned silence settled over the room.
My eyes, once filled with darkness and anxiety, now held rage and surprise.
This bitch, it was her?
Her own fucking mother shot her.
Now, I could feel the monster emerge from the abyss of my soul. Driven by a relentless thirst for revenge and blood, I felt it.
The only ounce of humanity I had reclaimed through Zanae faded away. The stupid morality I found through her amber eyes, now closed, was gone, leaving in me only this goddamn hole so deep that nothing could satisfy or soothe it.
“The woman spoke to Zanae,” Brian continued. “She said, ‘Sorry, my beautiful daughter. It wasn’t your time to provoke the man I love, you understand that.’ ”
My fists clenched, the veins on my forehead pulsating and threatening to explode. “Isn’t she dead?”
Brian shook her head, “I don’t know. But we have a lead now. We know who she is, it’s her since the beginning, the gifts, the one who told Alonzo to kidnap her, June’s letter, it was always her.”
Now that I have a face and the name of this woman, nothing would stop me. She’s going to pay dearly for hurting my Zanae.
Time passed, Brian was on her laptop, Niko lost in thought, and I was burning inside. The waiting room had become a collective purgatory. I was a volcano, my blood boiling, ready to erupt and ravage everything.
I needed to do something; I was going insane.
The revelation of the connection between the woman who shot Zanae and the organization was brutal.
How? Why? So many questions.
I felt drowning in emotions I didn’t even know I could feel.
Pain, anger, sadness, frustration, love, hate, everything at once.
Brian stepped forward, her laptop in hand. “I retraced their steps after they jumped from the window. I found surveillance footage, pictures, and then by connecting them, I found the road they took and where they went.”
She showed me the images on a screen, revealing the city streets where the woman and Lukas were certainly hiding.
My eyes flickered over the scenes, my mind full of Zanae’s pale face.
“Lukas,” Brian continued, her voice weighted with information that added fuel to my seething anger. “He’s the one who abused her years ago, during her kidnapping. He touched her, and she froze; that’s when he almost got her. She had him at first; he wasn’t stronger, he was just using the power he held over her to make her weak. She almost got him; that’s when I heard the gunshot.”
Brian’s face turned blurry, shadowy almost.
All I could feel was this primal anger, this insatiable need for retribution.
It wasn’t anger; it was fury. And so much pain.
The darkest part of my mind was stimulated by this information.
She had him. She faced the man that she wanted to kill for so long, and then her own mother shot her.
But my baby had him; she was stronger than anyone for doing that.
I got up, knowing exactly what I was going to do now.
Nikolai spoke with the coldest voice I’ve heard him use in our lifetime. “Annihilate them all, Elijah.”
A silent nod was my only response. In that moment, my path was clear: give them literal hell.
I turned away and went straight outside.
Zanae’s sweet scent filled every corner of this car.
A few hours ago, her presence filled it too.
And now, she’s struggling to stay alive.