Chapter 4
Chapter Four
T he lawyer is going to be the bane of my existence these next two weeks.
I thought sticking close to him would be a good idea, but I’m not so sure I can handle two weeks of forced proximity with Charles Darwin Dickens IV.
It’s like having a Ken doll amidst a dream house full of Weird Barbies; he doesn’t fit our aesthetic.
When he takes a break from activities to check email from his evil lair—I mean cabin—I seize the opportunity to complain to my friends, who are currently gathered at the lakeside picnic area for a snack break.
“Why did you even tell him about the available cabin?” Gloria asks, once I’ve word vomited my frustration.
I hate to admit my answer out loud. “Because deep down I wanted to stick it to the Prick. If he actually dares to show his face again, I can refund his money and send him packing.”
Gloria presses her lips together. “I can see why that would be satisfying.”
“And when he doesn’t show up, I get a little extra money. A win-win.”
“Except now you’ve let another fox in the henhouse,” Laura points out.
Ben strokes his white beard in solemn contemplation. “There is that.”
“I, for one, am glad he’s joined us,” says Angela. “New blood is reinvigorating for all of us.”
I peer at Angela. “It’s because you think he’s hot, isn’t it?”
“Honey, his hotness isn’t up for debate. Your new friend has elevated this camp from nerdo to nitro.”
I bristle. “He isn’t my friend.”
“He’s a rebel spy,” Adam chimes in.
Gloria frowns at the dark warlord. “Wait, aren’t we the rebels?”
Adam thumps his chest panel. “With one notable exception.”
“Gloria’s right,” Ben says. “Charlie is a lawyer who works for the emperor, and he’s clearly infiltrated our ship in an attempt to gain intel to crush the rebellion.”
I sort of hate that they’re giving a voice to my suspicions. I would love to be wrong. I want to believe he was so enamored by his visit that he immediately decided to spend two weeks in blissful tranquility.
My next T-shirt purchase should read ‘Naive by Nature.’
“Well, you agreed to let him stay,” Laura says. “You didn’t agree to make his experience a pleasant one.”
“You should sign him up for cosplay and have him wear Princess Leia’s gold bikini,” Bradley suggests.
“Pretty sure that’s where he’d draw the line.” Although the image I’ve conjured in my mind is hilarious perfection.
“Don’t be so sure about that,” Laura says. “If he needs this deal badly enough that he’s agreed to stay here for two weeks, there’s no telling what he might do. Test the limits and find out.”
I laugh. “Your heart is as black as your eyeliner, Laura.”
Stefan lifts his head to regard us. “We come here to escape the bullies in our lives. It wouldn’t be fair to behave that way to someone else, regardless of their ill intentions.”
Angela tugs the horn of his helmet. “Hmm. This man may resemble a Viking, but he sure doesn’t sound like one.”
Laura shrugs. “It would only be a bit of fun before we send him back to the Death Star.”
“What kind of fun?” Stefan asks, uncertain.
Angela’s mouth curves in self-satisfaction. “I can think of an idea or two.” She flicks her slender fingers. “Benjamin, be a dear and fetch my scarves from my cabin.”
“There’ll be no bondage at camp.” I place a hand on Ben’s shoulder to keep him rooted in place.
“What about good old-fashioned pranks like when I was a boy?” Ben offers. “We can short his sheets.”
Angela perks up. “Steal his towel when he’s in the shower.”
“Disembowelment,” Olivia adds with an air of excitement.
Multiple heads jerk toward her.
“What?” she replies with a casual shrug. “I watch nature shows. The animal kingdom is brutal.”
It sure is.
“I’ll put plastic wrap on his toilet,” Bradley volunteers. “I brought plenty with me.”
I dare not ask why.
“And I can pay him a visit in the middle of the night,” Angela says.
Adam shivers. “That would scare me senseless.”
Based on the predatory gleam in Angela's eye, I think ‘scare’ is the wrong verb for that sentence.
“I wouldn’t advise that,” I tell her. “The guy seems pretty fit. Wouldn’t surprise me if he knows how to throw a punch.”
Angela touches her taut cheek. “Hmm. This facelift was too expensive to risk injury. I’d need at least one more husband before I could replace it.”
“We should view this as an opportunity,” Stefan insists. “If we can make him see the camp through our eyes, maybe he’ll see the value in it and persuade his client to walk away.”
The rest of us burst into laughter.
“He’s a lawyer,” Bradley reminds him. “The only thing he’ll see value in is the land we’re standing on.”
“Fine,” Stefan relents, “but whatever we do, it has to be lighthearted. Nothing mean-spirited. If we wouldn’t laugh if someone did it to us, then we shouldn’t do it to him.”
“That seems fair,” Ben says.
I look around at the group and realize there isn’t a cruel bone in any of their bodies, although the jury’s out on Olivia.
“So, we’re all in agreement on Operation Revenge of the Nerds?” I ask. I relax when every hand goes up. This is why I love camp. For two weeks of the year, I get to feel safe and secure, like nothing can hurt me. It’s reassuring to have that feeling back again.
I knock on the door to the interloper’s cabin. As annoying as it is, I recognize the need to observe him closely and track his movements. If he’s truly up to something, I’d like to be able to catch him in the act.
“Be right there,” Charlie calls. The door opens and the first thing I see is a bare chest. A very nice, firm bare chest.
“I came by to see how you’re settling in and to give you the full activities list so you can plan your schedule.” I hand him a sheet of paper, making sure to avoid ogling his chest, which results in me awkwardly making direct eye contact instead. Honestly, the chest would’ve been better.
“Um, thanks.” He glances at the sheet. “Wow. So many activities.”
“See anything that speaks to you? If not, the cafeteria is open if you’re more interested in a nipple right now.” It takes a beat for me to process what I said, and I quickly try to course correct. “A nibble. A bite to eat.”
“I’m always hungry,” his full lips reply, and my stomach betrays me by dipping like I’m on the downslope of a roller coaster.
I somehow manage to maintain my composure. “We serve three meals a day, but the cafeteria is always open for snacks. We try to keep food contained to one building to avoid any wildlife issues, which means no food in your cabin. Did you have a chance to read through the rules and regulations?”
“First thing I did when I got here.” He flashes a charming smile. “Lawyer habit.”
“If you have any questions, you can text me. My number is at the top of the paper, although it’s usually better to track me down.”
“Because of the unreliable phone service,” he says.
“You’re a quick learner.”
He studies the schedule. “I can’t tell you what half these things are.”
“Ring toss starts in five minutes. You game?”
He limbers up his wrist, which draws my attention to the sinewy muscles of his arm. “If you don’t mind losing.”
I snort-laugh. “Because you’re a professional ring toss player on the side?”
“Because I was a baseball player. And my brother’s a surgeon and my sister’s a professional golfer.”
“What does that have to do with it?”
“We Thorpes have excellent hand-eye coordination. It’s encoded in our DNA.”
“Consider me warned.” I’ve played ring toss every summer for the past thirty years. Mr. Genetic Lottery has nothing on me.
“I’ll grab a snack from the cafeteria and meet you … where?”
“Near the area marked Grassy Knoll. There’s a map in your welcome packet that you might want to reference.”
He dips to the right and plucks another sheet of paper from his bed. “You mean this one?” He moves closer to me, holding the map. “Can you show me? I don’t see it.” His forearm skims mine, and it feels like a thousand butterflies break free from the prison that is my stomach.
I jerk my arm away and point to the spot on the map. “There.” The word comes out garbled, but Charlie doesn’t seem to notice.
“Thanks, I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
I turn my head before he can see the drool gathering at the corner of my mouth. Calm down, hormones. You act like you haven’t seen a handsome man’s bare body before . Granted, it’s been a couple years, and the previous body did not compare to this one.
I clamp a hand over my mouth. Am I objectifying someone? Mortified, I hurry to catch up with the others at ring toss before Charlie arrives.
“Where’s the spy?” Bradley asks, craning his neck to see past me. “It probably isn’t safe to let him wander around the campground alone.”
“Relax, he’s getting a snack. Infiltration makes a man hungry.”
Bradley clucks his tongue. “He claims he’s getting a snack. What if he’s planting false evidence?”
“Evidence of what? The camp is actually a meth lab? Give the police procedurals a rest, Bradley.”
Angela shushes us. “Here he comes.”
I turn to see Charlie crest the hill. “Everyone, this is Charlie. Charlie, this is everyone.” I wave a hand airily.
The greetings are chock full of friendly enthusiasm.
“Mind if I join the game?” he asks.
“Step right up,” Ben says. “The more the merrier.”
Charlie ambles closer. “What kind of ring toss is this?”
I hold up a gold circlet. “This is the One Ring.”
“Yes, I can see that.”
His blank expression suggests otherwise. “The One Ring to Rule Them All.”
Realization settles in. “Oh, I get it.” He motions to the target. “And that’s the mountain.”
“Mordor.”
“Right. Mordor.”
“Like it says on your T-shirt,” I point out, grateful that he’s once again fully clothed.
He looks down as though he’s forgotten what he’s wearing.
“You need to throw the ring around Mordor,” I explain. “The team with the most ringers wins.”
“Technically, shouldn’t I be tossing the ring into Mordor?”
I slap a ring in his hand. “Take off your lawyer hat for a minute. It won’t hurt, I promise.”