7. Lia
Chapter seven
Lia
I told him I loved him.
Oh, god, open the ground now and let me sink into oblivion. My face won’t stop burning. It’s been an hour, and every time I think about it, my face explodes into flames again.
I glance back at their mansion. I have one window on my second story floor where I can see perfectly into the property. Am I perched up here reading a book? Well, technically, not that I could even tell you the title of it.
I’m too busy watching the Harley’s drive up and down their driveway. Two hours ago, they came in like a storm. Guys got off bikes, laughing and slapping hands together, and pulling each other into chest bumps. There was movement and people, and I sat up here listening to the laughter and conversation as they disappeared into the mansion and, like usual, a little part of me died inside.
It’s not jealousy. Not exactly. I don’t want to be down there bumping my tits against these strange men’s chest, not after some of the things I’ve seen them do. But the isolation eats at me.
If I get too close to them, they might find out how sick I am. That dark thought swims up in my mind, dangerously, poisonously swirling larger than life every time I think about joining in.
Joining anything.
Locke was in so much pain and suffering, and he couldn’t tell me because I was so broken. The guilt joins the fear and shame. A tear slips down my cheek, and I angrily swipe it away .
“You’re sick, Lia.”
It’s always her voice in my head when I’m alone. My mother has been back four times since I was sixteen, and each time, her eyes have cut me to ribbons before she’d even opened her mouth.
“I’m not sick,” I say out loud, but my voice lacks conviction because in the back of my mind, if I was well, wouldn’t my mother love me? Wouldn’t my cousin have told me he was in trouble? Wouldn’t I have people around me, friends, lovers, anything? Instead, I live in this mansion alone, and the closest thing I have to friends are the bikers who live in the mansion next door.
I force myself up and away from the window seat. I haven’t decided on how I’m going to get revenge on Valen throwing all my clothes in the pool. Half of them have already been cleaned and dried and returned, courtesy of Mills.
Just thinking about Mills sends a sexy little shiver through me. He’s so big and muscular. His tattoos are all super realism. He has a wolf, an owl, a tiger, and a snow leopard all adorning his arms in full colour. He’s a work of art. But it’s those hazel, soulful eyes framed by thick lashes and bronzed skin. When he looks at me, I swear, he can see all my secrets.
I bounce down to the kitchen and pause when I find Arnold snooping through my fridge. Arnold is my mother’s hire and the only person to enter the mansion other than me or mama. He is her only concession to my isolation. A man who comes and cooks occasional meals of steamed veggies and boiled chicken or boiled steak. He freezes those meals, checks the cleaners’ work, reports every infraction to my mother, and then leaves. He’s tall, and thin, and always looks like he’s smelled something foul.
I throw everything he cooks in the bin.
He doesn’t speak to me, not once in all the years he’s been showing up. I tried for years to get a single word out of him, but nothing passed his lips. Desperation had me attempting to lock him out, but that failed, too. I tried so hard to keep him out of my space, but Mama was insistent and unyielding. So now, I just ignore his presence.
But he should not be here today. It’s not his day.
That, in and of itself, is suspicious.
I find that I keep glancing his way and anxiously watching the clock. He should go soon, and I can get back over to the Mirakill Mansion and steal back my bear. They had it too well-guarded when I tried earlier. I had to abort the mission.
I grumble under my breath and wander upstairs, hopping in the shower and redressing in black leggings and a black singlet. With a careful glare at my rival’s mansion, I put on my black converse and lace them up before tying my hair in a bun and pulling a black beanie over it. I go downstairs and spot Arnold vacuuming. It’s easy to slip out of the house without him noticing.
The night is cool, so I jog around the house to warm up, carefully glancing at the mansion beside mine. My mother’s voice tries to scream me down, but when it comes to the Mirakill Pack, even my mother’s voice can’t stop me. There are still bikes there, but less now. I go back in the house and yank off my beanie, going to the fridge for water and flopping on the couch.
Arnold watches me like a hawk. I hate his eyes. They make my skin crawl.
He tells my mother everything I do. So, I go out of my way to do the most mundane things possible when he’s here.
Eventually, he leaves. Quietly packing up his supplies and slipping out the front door like a ghost. I sit and count the seconds as they turn into minutes.
This mansion is a Raines mansion. It’s not just my mothers, it belongs to my mother, my aunts, and my uncle. All four of them, but my mother lived here right until she left me.
I wait an hour just to be safe and then turn off all the lights and peer out the curtain.
No movement.
Still, I go through a window and slip unseen into the bushes. I love this part. It makes me feel like I exist, like I’m part of something bigger. I make my way over and into their property, climbing one of the trees and slipping in through a room they don’t know exists.
I found it accidentally one day when I was trying to hide from them. It’s a thin space only wide enough for a man or three to stand shoulder to shoulder. There’s a door that opens onto the tree and one that opens up in the closet of Zaden’s bedroom.
I’m halfway to the bedroom door when I hear a groan from the bed.
I freeze and turn my head just slightly, looking at the woman who rears up, flicking her hair back as she starts moving. She rides the guy who I can’t see, and his joyful groans make me want to find a brick and bash his face in. My mind stutters and fury fills my chest, mixed with a dollop of pure, unadulterated envy. His hands grip her hips, sinking down to her ass and squeezing.
He groans, and I can’t even. I walk to the door, open it and slip out, before pulling it shut really loudly.
I knew he’d fuck other people. Of course, I knew. They are alphas, but I didn’t want to believe it. I have the urge to sniffle and only the fact my bear is here keeps me moving.
I make it down unseen, all the way to the kitchen. People don’t see what they don’t want to see, and I look harmless. I look like a young woman. They expect to see me here. No one calls me out .
I get to the kitchen and spot Beezie straight away. My lower lip trembles. How dare they put Beezie in a noose. I climb up on the counter and pull him free.
“Lia,” Zaden growls.
I jump and turn to find him dressed and looking exhausted. I glance up and back at him.
“How did you finish and get down here so quickly?”
He frowns. “What? No, that’s not important.”
Zaden reaches out, grabbing my legs. I tumble over his shoulders, but he catches me so I don’t fall completely over him. In fact, that huge hand smoothes over my ass before he hits it hard.
I let out a squeak.
“Do you see all my people here? Haven’t we had words about this?”
“I want my bear.”
He slaps my ass again. I let out a yelp, and he smooths his hand over the spot.
“You cannot be here, Lia. It’s not safe,” he says as he carries me through the mansion. I look up and spot Valen and Ianto. They work their way in our direction as he carries me to the back door. Ranger appears and kisses my cheek.
“You came to visit?” he teases.
“I came from my bear, you heathens!” I snap.
There’s only one person left. One person who might be upstairs. I’m cold to the bone, my thoughts twisting over and over.
“Who is Mills fucking in your bed?” I bark out and wish I could take it back.
Zaden stops dead. “What?”
I close my eyes and wish, really wish, for a do over. Really subtle, Lia.
“You were in my bedroom?”
“People are fucking on your bed!” I snap in protest.
“Who?” Ranger asks.
Ianto holds out a phone, and the guys gather close to watch the screen. Someone is stroking my ass.
I’m finding it hard to breathe, and my panties are getting wet. All I can think about is the slow stroke over my butt cheeks and how good it feels. Why does my ass like being hit and patted?
“That’s not Mills, love. That’s Dog. And he better hope that whore was worth it because his ass is getting flogged,” Valen purrs.
I yelp when someone pinches me.
“Valen, don’t do that!” I grumble.
“You’re so cute when you’re jealous,” Ranger teases .
“I wasn’t jealous,” I protest hotly.
“Totally were, babydoll.”
I snarl. He blows me a kiss.
Zaden slides me down his body and my mind goes black as I feel every hard inch of him.
“This is why you’re not supposed to be here.”
I stare up at him. The top of my head sits just under his chin, and I wonder if I’d slot perfectly into the space beside him.
“Lia, are you listening to me?” Zaden snaps.
“No,” I admit softly and squeeze my bear to my chest.
He throws his head back and makes a sound of pure frustration. I love the tendons in his neck, and the frustration he gets when he’s around me. The passion he has for everything is so beautiful. He is a beautiful man.
I snuggle the bear to hide my fiery face and step back, straight into Ranger. I gasp at the feel of him against me, but he wraps his arms around me and presses his lips to my ear.
“You look fucking edible tonight, Lia.”
I shiver and smile, all shy like.
“Ranger,” Zaden groans in exasperation. “Let her the fuck go and take her. No, Ianto, take her home.”
I pout. “I’m bored, though.”
I’m bored and lonely, and there is no one there to talk to, and please, don’t send me back there.
I don’t say these words out loud. But my enthusiasm fades, and disappointment fills me.
“Can’t I just stay for a little while?” I hate that it sounds like I’m whining.
Zaden captures my face, tilting my head back so I’m looking up at him. “No, baby. Absolutely not. You go home where it’s safe.”
I can’t help the tears that fill my eyes, and his groan as one huge, fat tear slides down my cheek makes me feel worse. He leans in and flicks the tear away with his tongue.
Great, now he’s stealing my tears.
“You cannot be here. We are not good for you.”
I sniffle.
“Do you understand me? Go on those dates.”
“Wait! What?” Ranger snarls. “You didn’t say anything about dates, Zaden!”
“Meet a special boy, someone who makes you feel like a queen.”
I close my eyes as if by doing that, I’ll block out him and his horrible words.
I whirl around and stomp out into the night .
Ianto follows me from a distance, but he’s an alpha of few words, and at the moment, he’s got none for me.
I reach my window and stop, crouching down and rocking while I try really hard not to cry.
“Lia,” Mills says.
“Mills?”
I spring up and turn, throwing myself into his arms. Ianto stands there watching, a cigarette in his hands.
“I know it sounds mean, but Zaden is doing this to keep you safe.”
I shake my head, wordlessly protesting.
“We’re not going to interfere in your life. We’re going to give you some space. You should at least try to meet people.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. My pity turning cold.
“Fine, you want me out of your life, you got it.” I push myself free, slide through the window, and slam it shut.
No more pranks. No more games. It’s over.
It’s all over.
I sit inside the empty mansion in the dark and cry.
What’s so wrong with me?