13. Lia
Chapter thirteen
Lia
A week passes in the strangest manner. It’s odd to have people in the house. Even though Ranger insists on staying in my panic room, he’s mostly been sleeping. His bruises have bloomed from huge black and purple swellings and have started to fade into yellow, green, and other motley colours.
I sit with him for most of the day, reading from my favourite romance book. At first, I’d stuttered over the words, but Ranger seemed to relax and sleep better, so I decided not to be embarrassed and just read. I spent hours and hours in the kitchen learning to make soup, and then fed Ranger just a couple of spoonfuls before he fell asleep.
It’s strange. He’s here, but he’s not.
Ianto, too. He’s a ghost in my house, disappearing for hours, and then appearing when I’m distracted, standing in a doorway, staring at me with an intense expression. He keeps finding me when I’m having an emotional moment. I’m starting to think he’s got some kind of psychic link with me. It’s creepy.
And comforting.
I check the biscuits I’m baking and absently twirl around the kitchen. Fate’s Choice sings into the room, lamenting a lost love.
I hum along and pour a fresh orange juice, only to whirl and let out a shriek. Ianto grips my upper arms and his lips twitch in what is, for him, a grin.
“I like whatever this is,” he says in a deep rumble as he stares down at me.
I glance around the kitchen? “Me being me?”
“Yes. You should do it more often.”
“I do it all the time, it's just no one gets to see,” I protest and wrap my arms around myself. Self-consciousness. I had no idea it was so crippling a condition.
I pause, inhaling deeply. There is a subtle scent around Ianto that I’ve never noticed before. Something like he’s just snuffed out candles. I adore that smell and want to bottle it. I inhale again, dragging that scent into my lungs. It fills my mind, and it’s all I can think about.
“You smell good.”
Ianto’s eyebrows raise. He steps towards me, and I have to arch my neck backwards.
“Ianto?” I murmur on a sigh.
He bends down suddenly, and his lips touch mine. I instantly open, my arms curling around him. I pull myself up against his body. In the back of my mind, I’m wondering who this beta is, but I’m unable to help myself, even knowing they won’t be mine. I just want to be touched by him. Kissed by him. Every stolen kiss in the last week is better than the last.
He lifts me up and sets me on the island and steps in between my legs, all without breaking our kiss. I moan and wiggle towards him until we’re as close as close can get.
Ianto tears his mouth from mine, breathing hard.
“I’m glad you’ve decided to stop giving this away to boys who don’t deserve it.”
“No one got it but you,” I protest incoherently.
“Good!” Ianto snarls.
I whine as he slides his hand up my ribs. I arch like a cat into his hands, but his fingers stop after just grazing the underside of my breast. My nipples are aching, they are so hard. I just want him to touch me. I’ll die if he doesn’t, I just know it.
“Ianto, please.”
“Please, what?”
“Touch me,” I beg.
He stares at me, his eyes dark and enigmatic. I’ve fantasised about these eyes. Staring at me in the dark, rescuing me, saving me.
He slides his hands up under my t-shirt and up over my sensitive skin. I groan, unable to believe this is really happening. Have I died? Am I asleep?
How can Ianto really be touching me right now?
Ever so slowly, he inches higher until his fingers graze my under boob again, I wait for his retreat. I pant, my chest heaving as I try to strangle the whine that is deep in my throat.
“Please,” I moan.
His hands cup my breasts, and I burst into flames. Heat licks my insides, and a powerful clenching in my stomach leaves me feeling both achy and empty at the same time .
His thumbs glide over my nipples, strumming the hard nubs until I’m almost beside myself.
“Has anyone touched you here, Lia?”
I shake my head. “No. Never.”
Ianto hisses, a masculine sound of pure satisfaction.
He pulls my top up, and we both watch him roll my nipples. A sweet smell fills the air, and I watch his nostrils flare.
Ianto’s eyes rise and meet mine. Fire, that’s what we are. We’re fire. He drops suddenly and licks over the tip of my nipple. The streak of hot pleasure is completely unexpected and tears a deep, embarrassing moan from me. I grip his head as he sucks the peak into his mouth. Each tug has a corresponding throb between my legs. I squirm and lean back, giving him more room, as I pant and murmur his name over and over.
“Ianto!”
He lets go and jumps about three feet back from me. I blink and pull my top down, but when I spot his expression, I go still.
He looks feral. Ianto normally always looks in control. He normally is unflappable. But right now, he looks hungry, he looks disturbed; he looks pained.
“Fuck!” Ianto whispers and licks his lips. “Fuck, Lia.”
“IANTO!” The call comes from the back of the house, and I hate whoever it is.
“In here!” he shouts and grabs me, sliding me to the floor. “Check your biscuits, love.”
I glance at him, frustrated and aching.
Valen walks in and pauses, sniffing the air. “What is that delicious scent?”
I hold up a tray of biscuits. He comes closer and looks at me for a long moment. “It’s not the biscuits.”
I turn away, confused and embarrassed.
“Lia, you look completely edible this morning.”
A tremor goes through me as his words fire up the bonfire of need inside me again. I pause and lean against the bench, my eyes falling closed. Rain? It’s not supposed to rain.
“What was that, Lia?”
I blink my eyes open and peer up at Valen. “I was just, you smell like rain.”
Ianto whips around, staring at me with his mouth parted. “You can smell rain around Valen?”
I nod my head and put some biscuits on a plate. I’m confused and embarrassed, and my underwear is uncomfortably wet. Valen’s hands travel up my spine, and I shiver. But the unease disappears when his hands are on me. The minute his hands slip from my body, the anxiety returns. I just want to get out of here, get a minute to get used to these new feelings inside me .
I bolt for the panic room with a plate of biscuits.
Ranger is sitting up, shirtless.
I pause, looking him over. I wish I could say I was looking at all his bruises, but that’s a lie. The expanse of hard chest muscles and his tiny nipples have been a daily source of torment for me. I want to lean over and lick his skin. I want to taste him so badly I wake up in a hot sweat and twisted sheets from dreaming about it.
His face lights up when he sees me. I hand him the plate and sit down beside him.
I inhale and try to see if I can smell rain again, but I can’t. This time, all I can smell is bergamot. I moan at the light citrus scent as it fills me with an aching longing.
I ponder the strange scents in the house. Perhaps they are using body sprays or different deodorants.
Ianto and Valen stop in the doorway. I ignore their searching stares. I’m too embarrassed and the aching need between my legs is still throbbing. Zaden would kill me.
“Ranger, you need to get off your ass today. Prez wants his VP doing actual work.”
Ranger groans. “No. I want to stay here and play with Lia.”
“Yes! Get dressed and come sit out in the lounge. The prospects will be over soon.”
Ranger whines and grabs me, pulling me back down onto his makeshift bed and flinging his arm and leg over me, pinning me. I can’t even stop the roll of my hips, the way my stomach gets tight and tingly, my nipples stiffen, my body betrays me, the . It’s an all over body reaction that only happens when one of these five pack members touch me. I’m shocked, surprised, and elated, joyfully submitting to the feel of this alpha smothering me. My heart pounds, and when he snuggles his face into my neck, I just about die.
I need more. My mouth waters, and I wrap my arms around him, holding him to me.
“Ranger,” I pretend to protest, but my voice is weak. Needy.
He snuggles harder. “Tell them I can’t work today.”
I glance up at Ianto and Valen. “He can’t work today,” I sound breathless and stunned.
Ranger shifts, and I suck in a breath. He lifts his head, staring at me intensely. There’s a hard bulge hidden behind his boxers, and it’s pressed against my stomach. It’s right there.
Everything but him fades away. It’s just the two of us.
“Lia,” Ranger flexes his hips, and that bulge rubs against me. I can’t stop my legs from parting, my hips rolling. I pant and moan.
“Ranger-”
“Get out,” Ranger says without looking up. “OUT! Now!”
I shudder.
“Lia, what’s going on with you?” Ranger doesn’t sound like he wants this. He sounds scared .
I squirm and pant, my fingers glide across his chest, and then I lean forward to lick. I just need a little taste.
“Lia, focus,” Ranger groans. “You’re, whoa, what is that smell?”
I let out a whimpering whine, and suddenly, he’s off me and on the other side of the space, kneeling there, watching me intently. I sit up and move towards him, needing more of whatever that was. But he steps backwards and away from me.
“Lia, something’s wrong. I think you might be sick.”
Those words. Those damnable, damnable words. They douse everything, reminding me that I’m just a broken beta. I pull myself up, ignoring the shudder as my pussy clenches on air and more wetness seeps out of me.
“I apologise, Alpha Mirakill,” I say without looking at him. “You’re right, I’m not myself.”
“Damn it, Lia, that’s not what I meant!”
I shake my head and back out of the room as he struggles to get to his feet. I disappear before anyone can spot me, going up to my favourite spot.
I pull my knees to my chest and watch out the window. There’s no joy in my view today.
“You’re sick.”
“Sick.”
“Something’s wrong with you.”
“Broken.”
“Wrong.”
On and on, the words slam against my vulnerable mind. I rock, trying to stop the words from penetrating, from causing more damage than they already have.
I stare at the Mirakill mansion, but then I can’t even do that. The shame is too potent, the pain too raw. I’m not good enough for them. I’m not good enough for anyone.
They’ll find out one day. I can’t hide the illness forever. Then they won’t want me, they won’t want to be friends with me.
The thought makes me ache; it makes me cry. It makes me hate myself more than I ever have.
They are all that’s left in my world that is good. To lose them would be the end of me.
I pick up my phone and send Ryn a message.
You are perfect and so is your song. Love, Lia.
It’s the only way of reaching out I allow myself. Still, time passes. She doesn’t answer, but then she often doesn’t.
I debate messaging Locke, but he doesn’t answer me, either, and Kelly and Raider and I have never been close.
The day turns into night, and the room falls into darkness.
And as usual, I am alone.