15. Lia
Chapter fifteen
Lia
I curl up on the floor beside Ranger. It took a while to get control of myself, but after a few hours, I feel like normal.
“What is this place?” he asks with a smile. “I know it’s a panic room, but why is it like this?”
I glance around. I like black tulle, and I’ve covered the walls until you can’t see them anymore, then I hung fairy lights all around the inside. The floor is actually several really thin mattresses layered over each other until the entire space is claimed.
“It’s my place.”
Ranger holds up a hand, and I put mine in his instantly. “Its suits you.”
How does he know that? Why doesn’t he see what everyone else does?
“Everyone thinks the mansion suits me,” I admit.
“Oh, no, you don’t suit this horrible house. You’re a solid woods, deep colours, rich tapestries, secret doorways, and hidden attics kind of beta.”
I stare down at him. “Where did you grow up, Ranger? I don’t know anything about you guys.”
“Lay down with me, and I’ll tell you.”
I crawl down and lay my head on the pillow I brought down. He turns with a pained groan until we’re nose to nose.
“Story time,” Ranger teases and kisses the tip of my nose.
I kiss him back on the lips without thinking. We both still, and I pull back.
“Sorry. ”
“Don’t be. All right. So, I grew up here in this city. I had a family until I was twelve, and then I lived in a couple of foster homes until this really tough beta took me in. I was a little brat, pick-pocketing, running all over the joint, furious and pissed off with the world.”
“Seriously?” I ask, shocked.
“Absolutely. I met Zaden when I tried to rob his dad. He brought me back to the clubroom and told Zaden to keep an eye on me because I’d make good pack and hired my foster mum. Oh, I tried to run away, I fought tooth and nail, I broke every rule. I pissed off all the high-ranking members, but at the end of the day, Zion was right. I was pack.”
“Zion?”
“Oh, that’s Zaden’s dad. You’ll meet him one day soon. He’s been setting up other chapters, but he drops in and out occasionally.”
“You guys hate it when I’m over there,” I point out.
Ranger winces as he lifts his arm and puts it over me. “I hate it so much I do everything possible to get you to come back.”
I frown, confused. “Ranger.”
“Lia,” he mimics me and kisses my nose again.
The silent alarm goes off, and the lights flash. I sit up, ignoring his gasp of pain.
“Oh, shit. Oh, no. Not now.”
“What’s wrong?”
“My mother is here,” I whisper in shock and fear. “She never comes here!” I scramble up and look back at him. “Don’t leave this room. Don’t make a sound. Just stay here and hide. She can’t find you here!”
Ranger gets up painfully, glaring at me. “Lia-”
I scramble for the room, leaving the door ajar. I have to slow down my walking and concentrate on my breathing.
I step through the door and into the kitchen. “Mama!”
I knew Arnold was up to something. I recognise the feeling inside me and feel guilty for not realising it was setting up for this.
She turns with her nose in the air, as if she’s surprised to see me, but seriously, where else would I be?
“Aurelia Raines, where were you?” Her first words in over a year. Not how are you? Not I missed you. You look good, nothing, but where were you?
“I was just out the back-”
“In the sunshine? It’s late afternoon. You’ll burn your skin and be ugly if you keep going out in the sun.”
I bite my tongue and stop speaking in case I give her more ammunition.
“I told you not to go outside. ”
I bow my head and glance sideways. Arnold and her assistant are here. They are both looking straight ahead and not at me. Not a good sign.
“I thought you were staying with Aunt Cara for the summer?” I ask again, trying to fish for information. That’s what the email from her assistant said.
My mother raises a painted-on eyebrow. I know because I’ve seen her wax them off. Her lips are tattooed a deep burgundy colour. Her lashes are fake, and she’s wearing about thirty layers of the top-of-the-line makeup. Is anything real about China Raines?
“I heard a rumour,” my mother says, and I get that sinking feeling that I felt when I saw the silent alarm.
“What kind of rumour?” I ask with feigned curiosity.
“I heard you had men here. Is this true? Are you having men in my home, Aurelia Lee Raines?”
I wince. “No, Mama.”
“You know what would happen if I found out there were men in this house?”
“Yes, Mama.”
“What would happen?”
I resist sighing. “You would throw my ungrateful, selfish ass onto the street, and I would have to whore myself until my illness got so bad that I was unable to even spread my legs, and then I would die, thinking painfully at the end that I wished I’d listened to my mother.”
She narrows her eyes at me.
“Have you had any symptoms?”
I tense. Symptoms of what? “No, Mama.”
She sniffs. “You look a bit pasty.”
“I’m fine. Just haven’t eaten yet tonight,” I lie.
“Let’s go do the check, then.”
I shudder but follow her as she leads me to the bedroom. I strip down to my underwear and stand there while she walks around my body.
It’s humiliating. It's soul crushing. I feel like a thing and not her daughter. She inspects my rolls, my flabby thighs. Points out new moles and freckles. Picks apart my body on every level.
But my mother is right. I have nowhere to go and no skills. I’d die on the street in days.
“You’ve lost weight.”
I nod my head as she continues to criticize everything about me before telling me to put my clothes on. She’s wearing a beautiful black and white silk dress. How can she look so beautiful and be so cold?
I follow her from the room and notice her assistant and Arnold going from room to room. I haven’t met this assistant. She’s new, but she looks nervous. My eyes snag on the panic room’s ajar door.
Sweat breaks out on my lower back.
What do I do?
Arnold walks into the panic room, and I wait for his shout. But then he walks out. We stand there for ten more minutes before they return.
“Nothing, Ma’am.”
“Well, then. I guess that’s good. Aurelia, you need to take better care of yourself. Keep an eye on what you eat. Take all your medicine and remember you are a very sick beta. You need to stay here in the house. Where you’re safe.”
I stare at my mother, wishing that this pretend fantasy that she cares about me, this whole act, was real.
“Promise me you’ll be good.”
“I will, Mama.”
“Good girl. Right, I’m off.”
How long will you be gone? Will I see you again? Mama, I have things I want to ask. I drown all the words that want to escape and watch as they pack up.
And just like that, my mother swans back out of my life. I stand there for a long time until I notice Ranger sitting on the stairs.
“Don’t tell them.”
His eyebrows raise.
“Don’t tell the pack that I’m sick.”
“Lia-”
“Please. Don’t tell them.” I start to cry, but he’s somehow closed the space and pulls me into his arms.
“Lia, don’t cry, please. Ah, I can’t stand it. All right, just stop crying. It will be okay. I promise.”
I don’t think either of us believe him.
He holds me while I sob, stroking my back. It’s a moment I’ve always yearned for.
It’s a dream I’ve always had.
Just not like this.