22. Lia
Chapter twenty-two
Lia
Everything is innocent until it’s not. I was doing washing this morning, grumbling because I feel achy in my joints, when Ranger steals in, without me hearing him. He pins me over the washing machine, holding me easily with a palm to my back.
Methodically, he peels my leggings off and tosses them away. I’m already wet, it seems to be that I always am these days. Ranger doesn’t say a word as he slides his finger into me. In and out, slow, measured, he fucks me with his fingers until I shatter. Then he leaves. I cling to the washing machine, barely able to stand up.
He doesn’t fuck me, but neither do any of the others. It’s been two weeks. Rangers’ bruises are almost healed, and I’ve gone from someone who is rarely ever touched to being pinned daily somewhere and having them get me off.
But once the initial novelty wore off, I noticed that they rarely touch me at other times. They, in fact, hold themselves away and apart from me, and no one, no matter how much I beg, will fuck me.
It’s making me feel uneasy and dirty, so when Zaden comes and sits opposite me at my outdoor table, I can’t look at him. Those thoughts poison my brain, twisting me in knots.
The words are right there, but they sound wrong; they feel wrong, and I’m terrified of the answer I might get.
“Lia, what’s wrong?” Zaden asks in exasperation.
I sniff. “Nothing.”
“Crap, everyone’s noticed it. What’s wrong? ”
I growl at him, but he just growls back. I might be able to get away with everything with the others, but Zaden won’t let me get away with anything.
I love that about him.
I wince. There’s that damnable word again.
“Listen and hear me right now. I’m not that guy. I’m not going to be nice and say the sweet things. Lia, I’m going to tell you that you’re being a moody bitch. I’m going to growl back. So, yell at me, shout at me, tell me what’s wrong, and I will go murder it for you.”
I can’t look at him, so I keep my eyes on the bushes at the edges of my lawn. Manicured, clean, tidy like the house. My house, but not my life.
“No one touches me.” It’s a rushed whisper of words, and my cheeks burn as soon as I’ve said it.
He frowns. I can see it out of the corner of my eye.
“I’m going to need more information than that, Lia.”
I scowl. “You’re all making sure,” I pause, trying not to blush, “I get my needs met, but no one touches me other than when they do that.”
“Is that a problem?”
I whirl on him, furious, offended, angry at this entire ridiculous situation.
“Why are they suddenly doing it?” I shout. “Why are you suddenly allowing it?”
I pause, choking on the vile words that bubble up from my soul.
“What’s wrong with me, that they won’t touch me any time other than when they are doing that to me? Why won’t they,” my voice lowers, “fuck me? What’s wrong with me? Why is your pack servicing me like I’m some desperate dog in heat?”
The words sink into my head, ringing with something I don’t understand. You’re sick . My mother’s toxic voice presses into my brain. No one will love you because you’re sick .
Zaden leans back in his chair and puts his hand on his chin. He doesn’t look stressed or confused. He looks amused.
“They aren’t fucking you because I told them not to.”
I whip my head towards him, outraged.
“I think they are trying not to touch you as much as well because they are all suffering from blue balls, and they don’t want to scare you off. And no one here is servicing you. I have been told your pussy is the most divine gift to ever be gifted to this world, and if he could live there, he would burrow in and make himself at home. I got to hear this in an hour-long dedication to the perfection of your cunt.”
My face is burning so hot. And yet, the thrill is like sunlight after a frosty night.
“I believe another said fingering you is now a favourite pastime, and he’s trying to top his record of six. ”
I splutter.
There’s one more question I have, but I’m not game to ask it. Zaden stands up and holds out a hand. I cautiously put my hand in his and allow him to pull me up.
“Do you trust me, Lia?”
I nod without hesitation. He’s Zaden, of course, I trust him.
He pushes the straps of my dress aside and pulls my dress down to my waist. Then he sits back down and pulls me on top of him.
“What are you doing?” I hiss.
“I’m going to hug you, and we’re just going to sit here.”
“But why is my dress down?”
“Doesn’t the sun feel nice on your back?”
I hesitate. I mean, he’s right, it does feel nice. After a while, he starts to run his fingers over my back, making me shiver. But between him and the sun, it’s such a wonderful feeling that I end up laying against him, boneless. I bury my face in his shoulder, breathing in that eucalyptus scent.
“Why have you suddenly decided to be nice to me?”
He sighs, his hands stroke up my back and trace circles that make me moan.
“It scared me when we found you unconscious, but it’s more than that. I didn’t like seeing your dates.”
I put my arms around his shoulders and lay my cheek on his chest. “You were jealous.”
“I was so jealous. Crazy, homicidal. I could barely speak. It surprised me how much I wanted to destroy those boys that thought they could have you.”
I smile and brush my lips over his shoulder and tense, waiting for his reaction, but he doesn’t react. He just keeps stroking.
“I’ll tell them to stop being idiots.”
I tighten my arms around him and sniffle.
“Lia? Are you crying?”
I sniff harder. “No. Nope. I’m fine. Perfect.”
The smell of eucalyptus gets so intense it’s like a blanket of soothing scent.
I lean in. “Why do you smell so good?”
“Why are you so sad?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “I’m just all emotional.”
Zaden hugs me tight. “It’s okay, Lia, you can cry if you want, or laugh. Whatever you need, I can sit here with you. Sometimes, when I’m with you like this, I can see everything so clearly. You are the light in my darkness, Lia, and I’m thinking we need you more than you need us. You will always be a friend of the Mirakill pack. ”
My eyes burn, and I finally let go of the wave of emotion that’s threatening to swamp me.
Zaden sits silently, holding me together and stroking my back. The peace slowly weeds out all the darkness inside me, and I find my mother’s voice completely slips away.