26. Lia
Chapter twenty-six
Lia
A few hours earlier
I wake up feeling like I’ve lived this nightmare before. I’m in Zaden’s bed, which is the only reason I don’t lose my shit completely. The scent of the pack calms me but only a little bit. I’m alone in the bedroom. I search each corner of the room, twice, still no one appears. The tiny kitten is curled up beside me, looking for all intents and purposes like a little fluffy queen. Where are they? The more the seconds stretch, the more that panic grows, burrowing into my psyche and turning me cold. The panic is right there, pressing at me. Each gasp, each breath, takes me close to blind panic.
I’m alone! The fever seems to have gone away, and my head feels clearer, but I’m exhausted, and all I want to do is crawl into the arms of whoever is closest. Tell me I’m safe. Tell me I’m not sick and broken.
It takes an extraordinary amount of effort to force myself up out of the bed. I slip on a jumper I find hanging over a chair and slip my feet into someone’s oversized man slippers.
I can hear voices, and though I don’t recognise them, they pull me unerringly towards them. It’s a relief to hear people. It’s a safety that I’m ashamed to say I can’t resist.
In the kitchen, I find four women and a man I recognise. He’s leaning against the wall, his belly jiggles as he tilts his head back and roars with mirth.
“Hey! ”
I jerk around and see a woman of about sixty, who smiles warmly at me. She has chocolate brown eyes and tanned skin, but her smile is warm. I feel instantly at ease.
“Come, try some of these. Mills made them.” She takes my hand and guides me into the kitchen. I stand beside her and glance at the others around the island. “My name is Io.”
“Hi,” I say shyly.
She smiles and puts a chunky biscuit in my hand. “Eat this. You’re Lia, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Zaden told us to take care of you today.”
I focus on her. Zaden left? They left? That panic rears its head, and I feel completely lost like I’m going under, and there’s no way to pull myself out. They left me. “Oh, where are they?” I sound so calm. That’s good. No one will know how crazy I am.
“They’ll be back later today,” Io says dismissively like it’s not a huge deal that those bastards swapped me from my house to theirs, and then abandoned me like I’m some nothing.
“Oh.”
“This is Brenda,” Io says with another one of those huge smiles. I think it’s probably impossible to hate her.
I look where she’s indicating and find a woman with blonde hair with tips that are magenta. She could be around twenty-five. Brenda is cute. She’s small and has a spray of freckles across her face. The woman next to her is her opposite, despite having similar-coloured hair. She’s tall with a huge bust and has her hair in pigtails, and her face is distinctly unfriendly.
“Pasley.”
Pasley doesn’t smile. She glares at me as if she resents my presence, but she is the only one.
“Last but not least, we have my girl Bertie.”
Bertie is a short woman with a big ass and a cracking smile. When she waves at me, I feel at ease. She bustles around the island and gives me a tight hug. She smells like cinnamon, and it’s reassuring.
“And I am the great and powerful Wayne Eldorn, but you can call me Badger.”
I blink at him. “Badger?”
“On account of my uncanny ability to find food and eat it.” He winks and reaches up to stroke a thick, greying beard.
“Bullshit, it’s because we all used to call you honey, cause you were such a sweetheart,” Bertie teases .
He dances towards her, his arms outstretched, making kissy faces. “Come here to me, Bertie, love.”
Io rolls her eyes and gestures to the biscuit. “Eat, Mills will kill me if I don’t feed you. The boy was so worried about leaving you here.”
That slightly mollifies me. Slightly.
I heave a sigh, feeling really deflated. “I think I must have been sick again because I don’t remember how I got here. It was very kind of them to care for me.”
Io puts a hand on my shoulder. “I don’t think it’s kindness, darling.”
I lower my eyes, feeling the sting of waking up alone all over again. If they cared, wouldn’t someone be here? Wouldn’t they have told me?
“Sweetheart, men ain’t very clear on their feelings sometimes, and worse, when they start to get an inkling, they run. Often spitting out a whole lot of words, they’ll do a whole lot of grovelling for later,” Bertie says and swats Badger with a tea towel.
I bite into the biscuit, and it melts in my mouth. The inside is warm and gooey. For a moment, I can’t swallow, and my eyes burn. Io still has her hand on my shoulder and waits until I’m okay before she moves away.
“So, we’re the old ladies.”
“Hey!” Badger snarls.
“We are, not him. He’s babysitting our hot asses.”
I snicker when he looks down and fans himself dramatically. “The most beautiful women for the most dangerous of men,” Badger wiggles his eyebrows and chortles when Bertie shoves at him.
“Be quiet, you old flirt.”
“Old ladies?” I ask.
“Oh, they haven’t told you nothing, have they? Basically, it’s what we’re called. The women who are in long-standing relationships, bonded to, or are married to one of the MC.”
I bob my head. I’m suddenly nervous.
“Do you know the hierarchy of the club?”
I shake my head.
Badger grumbles. “Ain’t no way to run anything. Top dog is the prez, the president of the MC, right? That’s my boy Zaden.”
I knew that.
“The vice president is Ranger. Sergeant at arms is Ianto.”
He can see I have questions, but Io cuts him a look, and before I can swallow the biscuit, he’s moved on .
“Mills is the smartest, so he’s the chapter's Secretary. Valen is the Road Captain, and I am the Treasurer.”
I blink at all that information. It makes just enough sense for me not to be totally lost, but I don’t have a lot of details, and I’m even more confused about why I know nothing about it.
“Are you all right about what happened to Ranger?” Pasley asks with a tiny frown. “You’re probably not used to seeing such violence. But this is the life.”
I frown. “This is the life? That happens often?” Why haven’t I seen that? How often do they get hurt?
“Don’t be a bitch, Pasley. It doesn’t happen that often. Just since the Despair MC started pressing into our turf.”
They start talking rapidly, and I struggle to follow along. It would appear that a rival MC is trying to invade Mirakill turf. They are the ones who took Ranger. So at the moment, Mirakill MC is currently out getting retaliation.
I set the biscuit down and stare at them, a feeling of doom swirling up inside me.
“So, they just left?” I ask in a small voice. “They went out on this terrible, dangerous errand, and they didn’t even say goodbye? They didn’t tell me they were going. Nothing?”
Io looks at me, and the room falls silent. “They said goodbye, right, that they would be back?”
My chin wobbles. “Uh, would you excuse me? I need to go home, check on Beezie.”
“Those fucking idiots!” Bertie hisses.
“Beezie?” I hear Badger ask. But I’ve already turned and am out of the kitchen.
“Nice to meet you!” I call out in a choked voice.
I hear one of the women laugh, and it abruptly cuts off. I slip out the front door and pad my way back to my own mansion. Instead of going inside, I stand on the porch and stare out at the road. I just want to hear the roar of those bikes. I want to know they are safe. That they are coming home.
Why didn’t they tell me? Do I mean so little to them or do they think I’m that broken? Maybe I’m too sick. A burden that needs to be wrapped in cotton wool. My thoughts are spiralling, and I feel sick.
A man appears from around the corner of my house. He stops dead, tilting his head to the side, black silky hair hanging over one side of his face. He’s got huge silver sunglasses on that hide his eyes.
“Hello? What are you doing here?” I ask politely, wishing he would go away.
He shrugs and, with a wry smile, admits, “I’m a bit lost.”
I glance around and back at him because it’s hard to be lost in this neighbourhood. Each mansion is a massive property .
“Who are you looking for?”
“Oh, uh, I’m looking for my cousin Mills.”
My concern vanishes, and I point back the way I came. “You’re at the wrong place, but luckily for you, it’s just over there.”
He smiles, wide and charming. “Thanks?”
“Oh, sorry, Aurelia Raines, but people call me Lia.”
“Lia.” He drags my name out and smiles at me in a way that doesn’t feel creepy or bad at all. “You look so different from how I pictured you.”
My eyebrows raise. “I do?” This guy is strange, but I feel like I know him.
“Yes. He said you were a golden warrior who had more bravery than any biker he’d ever met.”
Warmth spreads through me, and I grin. “Mills is amazing.”
His warmth disappears and then returns. “I have to go, Lia, but I hope that you have a lovely evening, and I look forward to getting to know you.”
I stay there, watching him leave. He gets on a bike and speeds off the property, but surprisingly, he doesn’t go next door. I stay out there in the sun, wondering how they can flip me from aching despair to fluttery heart melts in mere moments.
The sun is starting to set; the orange pouring across the sky. A stiff wind starts to chill the air, but still they don’t come home.
I can’t stay out here and wait for them forever. I close my eyes. My tears have dried a dozen times on my cheeks, and I’m exhausted. I feel like that sixteen-year-old girl who’s been abandoned again, except it’s worse this time.
“Face it, Lia. You’re just an annoying neighbour. They don’t care enough to tell you where they even are. They didn’t even say goodbye.”
I lift my fist, pressing it against my mouth. They might die. Someone might get hurt, and I didn’t know.
I turn away from the sunset and the cold night, pressing the code to open the Raines Mansion, my prison, where I exist alone. I didn’t know loneliness could kill you. They don’t tell you that in books.