Chapter 28 Riven
TWENTY-EIGHT
Riven
I wait at the bottom of the stairs, my heart stuttering against my ribs.
I can’t stay still, anxiety pulsing through my every synapse.
Even my packmates’ support does little to quell my nerves.
This is my first date. My first date with the most perfect girl I’ve ever met.
And I’m about to take her to a muddy field with nothing but the sky to look at.
I swallow hard, seeing Kady glide down the stairs toward me. She moves with the gracefulness of a swan, her slender limbs moving like she’s floating. She holds a pair of boots in her hand, her over-sized jacket half-zipped up, revealing a navy turtleneck and leggings underneath.
“Do you have a hat?” I notice her pointy ears peeking out from behind her light blonde hair. “You may get cold.”
“I think that’s one thing I forgot,” she admits.
“Here.” I grab one of my spare ones, a thick emerald beanie, off the hook.
I double it over before putting it on her head.
I love the look of it on her, my stomach swirling at seeing her wearing my clothes.
There’s something almost primal about it, like I’m making my mark on her. It’s nothing I’ve ever felt before.
“Thanks.” She smiles shyly. “So what are we doing?”
I gesture down to a large case, another telescope, before slinging it and my backpack over my shoulder. “I want to take you to one of my favorite spots out here.” That’s all I’m telling her for now.
The rest of the pack is gathered in the living room.
I’m stoked to be her first date. It gives her nothing to measure our date up against. I was nervous that she wouldn’t even agree to go, and it’s all I’ve been able to think about since she said yes.
I have a surprise for her, which I hope she’ll like.
I don’t like surprises myself, but hopefully, Kady will appreciate the thought I’ve put into it and won’t think it’s too much.
“Have a good night.” Hale comes over to bid us goodbye. “We’ll take good care of Larry while you’re out.”
His eyes meet mine, steady and full of trust. I look past him to see Larry sprawled across Calder’s lap, purring happily.
Seeing Calder’s grin, I can’t decide whether he or Larry is happier.
Beyond him, Ezra stands by his cacti, his back to us.
Why is he denying himself happiness by pushing her away? It doesn’t make sense.
“Ready?” I smile shakily through my nerves.
Kady nods, slipping on her boots.
“You’ll have a great time.” Hale slaps me on the back then adds under his breath, “Just be yourself.”
Outside is a contrast to the toasty house, but at least the biting wind seems to have calmed. Dusk is setting in, so it will get colder, but I packed blankets and hot cocoa, which should help keep us warm.
We don’t say anything, falling into step as I lead her up a small path through the trees by the side of the house into the forest. I keep trying to think of something to say.
Calder would be able to think of a witty quip, Hale can speak to anyone about anything—always knowing the right thing to get people to open up—and Ezra can make anyone laugh, but I’m not much of a talker.
Every conversation starter I come up with sounds more pathetic than the last, my thoughts starting to spiral until Kady speaks.
“This place is pretty remote, huh?”
“We own the entire property for miles around,” I tell her. “Apart from a few deer that come through, it’s pretty much deserted.”
We climb higher, coming to a trickle of a stream that we start to follow. The rocks are a little slippery, so I offer Kady my gloved hand. She looks down at it in surprise. Have I made a mistake already? I’m about to pull it away when her small hand slips through mine, filling me with relief.
We continue the trek in a comfortable silence, me knowing the walk well and Kady’s head rotating, taking in our surroundings.
“It’s so pretty here.” She pauses to look up at the leafy canopy above us. “So quiet and still.”
“I like to come here to be alone when things get too much,” I confess. “Listening to the sounds of the forest.”
“We don’t have to talk, you know.” She squeezes my hand. Does she sense my nerves? “Let’s just listen.”
We walk for another twenty minutes or so, silently enjoying nature and each other’s company.
Light is fading fast, so I put on my headlamp to illuminate the path ahead before we reach our final destination.
It’s a grassy clearing on an elevated plateau, looking out over Rose Harbor, which so far away, is just tiny specks of light.
“Here we are.” I motion to the area around us.
I get out a picnic blanket and smooth it down before getting out extra blankets to keep us warm. Once that’s done, Kady settles in, watching as I set up the telescope.
“Sorry, I couldn’t think of something more imaginative for a date.” It seems like every time she sees me I have a telescope in hand.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” She frowns. “This is perfect. I want to see more of your world.”
The thought cheers me up as I sit next to her and point the telescope up. My palms tingle with excitement when we see the stars stream across the sky, leaving a blazing tail behind.
“Here.” I swivel it in her direction. “Take a look.”
She scoots closer, the breeze catching on her hair, giving me a whiff of her sweet scent. I want to lean in, kiss her, but I stay rigidly still.
She points. “That’s Orion, right?”
“You remembered.”
“Of course, I did.” My heart skips a beat as her eyes crinkle in the corners.
“Most people think stars are boring.”
She grins up at me, making my insides feel like they’re melting. “Well, I don’t.”
“This is my first date.” The confession erupts from me.
Her eyes widen. “Really?”
“I don’t know why I even told you. Twenty-three and haven’t been on a date.” My nerves make it harder not to say exactly what’s on my mind. “It’s a bit embarrassing.”
“No, it’s not.” She shakes her head vigorously. “I’m sure loads of girls have wanted to date you.”
“As soon as we started talking, they changed their minds.” I gaze up at the twinkling stars. “Then I kinda gave up on the idea of ever finding an omega who would accept me for me.”
“Riven…” She wrings her hands.
“Oh no.” I taste bile. “I messed up, didn’t I? Calder’s always saying that I should take a second before speaking.”
“You haven’t messed up.” She takes my hand, gently prying my tightly balled fingers apart to slip her fingers through mine.
Her tender touch immediately puts me at ease.
“This is perfect. Honestly. It’s the best date.
” She looks down at our interlocked hands.
“But I don’t know whether I can be the person you want me to be. ”
I tilt my head to the side, watching how she tugs her bottom lip with her top teeth. I think back to what I’ve read about human body language. That means she’s worried, right? “You’re worried about that?”
Her voice is almost a whisper. “I don’t want to let you down.”
“You could never let me down,” I retort. “You’re who I want. Exactly as you are.”
“You don’t know the real me.” She slips her hand from mine, puts hers together then blows into them before pulling her coat tighter around her shoulders. “I have a complicated family. I work all the time. I basically live in the library. I couldn’t be anyone’s perfect match.”
“You know, I never thought I’d join a pack.
” I sigh wistfully. The best way I’ve found to connect to people is through sharing my own experiences.
“After growing up in a household with so much noise, I thought it’d be better if I was on my own.
Easier. When Hale asked me to join his pack, I didn’t think I’d fit in, even though Calder was already my best friend. ”
Her eyes are locked onto me, like she’s hanging on my every word.
“I didn’t think a pack would want an alpha who thinks differently.
” I fiddle with one of the dials on the telescope, even though it’s already set up perfectly.
“But I took a chance, and I’m glad I did.
I found a home. Hale, Calder, and Ezra are my family now.
I know I’m not very good at saying the right things, but I think you’re probably feeling a little like how I did then. ”
“Have you ever regretted it?” she asks. “Joining a pack?”
“Sometimes I wish it was a bit quieter, especially when Calder is ranting about deadlines.” I can’t help but grin. “But no, never.”
“I never really felt like I fit in much either, not until I came to SVU and found the Stellas,” Kady says. “But now that I’ve found myself, I don’t want to lose myself again.”
“Joining a pack doesn’t have to mean losing yourself.” I hope she can hear my sincerity. “None of us are perfect.”
She keeps her gaze fixed on her lap. “And you really believe that we’re scent matches?”
“I do, but I don’t believe our destiny is written in the stars. No matter how much I like to look at them. All I know is that I want to get to know you, Kady. Only you.”
Her smile makes her blue eyes twinkle under the light of my headlamp. “For someone who thinks they don’t say the right things, you’re pretty good with words.”
A swarm of butterflies take flight in my stomach. No one’s ever said that to me before, and the compliment means so much more coming from her. Smiling, I look into the telescope again.
“Woah!” Kady points up at a few dazzling lights streaking across the inky blackness. “What are they?”
I spin the telescope to look, gasping at what I see. “What…? It can’t be…” The shower isn’t due for days yet, but I’m not imagining the shooting trails. “This doesn’t make sense. It’s not supposed to happen now.”
“I guess we’ve all had unexpected surprises lately.”
She puts her hand over mine again. Even though a once in a lifetime constellation phenomenon is happening, I can’t bring myself to look away from her.
Kady Sinclair is all I ever want to see.
I carefully map her face like it’s the sky—her large, aquamarine doll eyes, cute nose, the slight sheen of her pink lips, and pointed chin. I’ll never get tired of looking at her.
Somewhere in the distance, crickets chirp and leaves rustle, the air feeling supercharged and magical. Kady inhales deeply, lying back onto the soft grass, her blonde hair fanning over the blanket around her head. I lie down by her side, settling in to watch the shooting stars overhead.
My hands reach out across the blanket to find hers then squeeze it before motioning to the sky with my spare hand. “See that star there?”
I hold my breath, questioning whether my gift is something an omega would like. When I bought it, I thought it was a good idea. It’s something I think is cool, but will Kady think it’s too much?
“That one?” She follows my gaze. “Next to the super sparkly one?”
“It’s called Kady.”
“There is no way there’s a star called Kady.” She laughs. “Now I know you’re lying.”
I fish my cell phone out of my backpack, load up the constellations app, then hand it to her. “You can check if you don’t believe me.”
She takes a look, her eyes turning to saucers. “It really is called Kady.”
“I bought it for you.”
Her breath catches as she sits up. “You bought it for me?”
“Well, not bought exactly.” I sit up too. “You can’t buy stars. No one owns them. But I did name one after you.”
“Riven.” Her voice is thick with emotion. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Does that mean you like it?”
She launches herself at me like a cannonball. I’m winded for a second before wrapping my arms around her. It feels like she belongs here, nuzzled into my chest.
“Thank you.” Her warm breath tickles my neck as she snuggles in, tucking her head underneath my chin. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”
“I hope it’s not too much,” I murmur. “I could have got you a blanket or perfume or—”
“Shh. It’s perfect.” Her whispers quiet my doubts.
She pulls away, looking adorable in my beanie as she leans in.
Our lips meet, softly at first. I stroke her hair, drawing her closer, my thoughts fixed on how I can make her feel good.
She moans into my mouth as our tongues dance, the dusky sky backdrop making it feel like we’re the only two people in the world.
When her hand accidentally brushes against my bulge over my pants, I instantly want to come, my entire body tensing.
She moves her hand away. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“No, it’s not that. I liked it.” I cradle her cheek. “You touching me felt good. So good. It’s just… I’ve never…”
“Oh.” Her eyes widen, realization setting in. “You’re a virgin?”
“Yes.” A flush of heat creeps up underneath my scarf. “But I liked you touching me,” I quickly add. “And I’d like you to do it again. Only if you want to.”
“Not here.” She smiles kindly, eyes softening as she takes my hand. “I’m not letting you lose your V-card in the middle of a freezing field. You should be somewhere comfortable. Somewhere where you can take your time.”
“So you don’t mind if we wait? I know you have…” My tongue feels too large for my mouth. “With Hale and Ezra. I—”
“Of course, I don’t mind.” She snuggles against me. “It’s a big deal, and you have to be sure.”
“I’m sure I want it to be with you.” I tighten my arm around her, kissing her forehead.
While we look up at the stars again, I think about the impossible odds of finding my scent match and how my whole life has changed since we met…